Adama: "It's been an honor to have served with you, my friend."
Frakking wow. It's a mutiny. And I was worried that the final episodes would be an anticlimax. Silly me.
Battlestar Galactica: The Oath
Adama: "It's been an honor to have served with you, my friend."
Frakking wow. It's a mutiny. And I was worried that the final episodes would be an anticlimax. Silly me.
Supernatural: After School Special
Mr. Wyatt: "The only thing that really matters is that you're happy. Are you happy, Sam?"
Ah, yes. High school as hell. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, how I miss you.
Heroes Webisode: Recruit #5
Chapter Five – The Truth Within.
Summary:
Angela frees Rachel from her restraints and concedes that she's lost the battle. She commends her on being a fighter, much like herself, prompting Rachel to insist that they're nothing alike. Outside a car is waiting to take her to freedom.
Later, Rachel pulls in at a gas station and goes to the bathroom, where she prises the missing vial from her shoulder wound. She dresses the wound before leaving, only to be confronted outside by Angela who's been hiding in the shadows.
Angela admits that the whole interrogation was a test to see whether Rachel was trustworthy. Rachel confesses that she just wanted to find a cure. Angela tells her that her ability is part of her. Rachel hands over the vial and one of Angela's henchmen pulls a hood over her head and drags her away.
Angela makes a video call to Leona.
Thoughts:
Okay, it's been pretty obvious from the word go that this whole series has been about Rachel trying to find a cure. We knew pretty early on that she already possessed an ability. We also knew that a vial of serum was missing. So it was relatively easy to fit the pieces together.
Evidently Leona's still alive. That was an interesting tidbit. Shame they didn't elaborate. How can she still be alive? I suppose this is a thread they could pick up in the series proper, but I suspect they won't. At least, not in any meaningful kind of way. She'll probably turn up in a future episode selling doughnuts or something equally as lame.
I wasn't particularly impressed with this series. Having Angela in there was probably its only redeeming feature. We learned zilch about Carlos. Hanover and Sullivan were vaguely interesting but both ended up dead. And Mills just wanted to cure herself...but in the end didn't manage it. The only semi-hmmm-worthy moment was the Leona reveal...and that lost some of its impact by virtue of the fact we've had similar plot lines in the show before (Arthur Petrelli, Claire Bear, etc).
Jesse Alexander was responsible for this webisode series. Anyone remember him from Alias? I think he had co-production duties on Lost too.
Quotes:
Angela: “I commend you. You are a fighter. We are a rare breed”.
Angela: “This is why I never wanted a daughter. They're so much more complicated. You watch helplessly as the world slips in and turns all the sugar and spice into bitterness and deceit”.
Mills: “I just wanted to try and find a cure....maybe”
Angela: “Rachel, your ability is as much as part of you as the colour of your eyes. Or the loss of your mother. Leona. Beautiful name”.
Mills: “I'd like to think I'm going to see here again one day”.
Angela: “Well that's up to God”.
Heroes Webisode: Recruit #4
Chapter Four - Day of Reckoning.
Summary:
Angela asks Rachel about her relationship with her mother, only to be told that Leona killed herself. Angela admits to knowing Leona and confesses to being there the day she discovered her abilities. She criticises Leona for being weak and abandoning Rachel. She also tells her that Leona killed herself because she couldn't live with the fact she was different. She urges Rachel to claim her power and accept who she is.
Angela then explains how she knows Rachel has an ability. When the lab was destroyed at Pinehearst, the facility was locked down. Rachel shouldn't have been able to escape. But she did escape...right through a locked door.
Rachel insists that's not who she is. Angela tells her she doesn't believe her and turns to leave.
Thoughts:
This must surely be the slowest of all the webisode series'. We're four episodes in, with one more to go and to be honest, little of note's happened. There's just so little intrigue. If it wasn't for Angela I would probably have stopped watching two episodes ago. But Angela's dialogue's so good, and she delivers it with such aplomb, you can't help but hang on her every word.
By contrast, Rachel's dialogue is one dimensional. All she seems to say, week in week out, is that she's not special: when it's perfectly obvious to all an sundry that she is. I know it, Angela knows it, and Rachel certainly knows it. Yet she keeps on denying it with such conviction that you can't help but wonder who she's trying to fool. Herself maybe? She's certainly not fooling us.
They did throw us a small bone this week. Apparently Rachel inherited her abilities from her mother, who also possessed some kind of gift. So that would make her abilities natural rather than synthetic.
And how convincing was Angela's speech about her love for her sons? I don't recall seeing much of that love when she ordered Peter's death in “Powerless”. Nor did she seem particularly phased by Nathan's shooting. Perhaps she's one of those people who internalise their feelings. You think?
Quotes:
Angela: “I have sons...handsome Boys. And I love them with all of my heart”.
Angela: “I knew your mother, Rachel. We were girls together, Leona and I. In fact I was there on the day she discovered her power. She was very special. But she was also scared and weak and didn't want to be different. So she chose to kill herself rather to face up to the truth of who she really was. She chose to abandon you, left you to fend for yourself rather than embrace her power and be of service to the world. It's just so difficult sometimes to see the ones we love in the cold light of day”.
Angela: “I know you. I know you went into the service to make your grandpa proud. And I know that you had to fight for every good thing you ever had in your life. But you can stop fighting now Rachel. Claim your power now Rachel. This is your day of reckoning”.
Mills: “I'm not special”.
Angela: “There's so much you can do for this world if you just accept who you are”.
Smallville: Power
Lana: "I am moving on."
Chloe: "Really? Because it seems to me that you're not just playing with fire, you're stepping into a raging inferno."
And now Lana is a superhero. Lana Lang. Is a superhero.
Lost: Jughead
Sawyer: "Who taught you Latin?"
Juliet: "Others 101. Gotta learn Latin. Language of the enlightened."
Sawyer: "Enlightened, my ass."
So Charles Widmore is an Other. That loud click you just heard was another Lost puzzle piece snapping into place.
Fringe: The No-Brainer
Do you remember those really bad X-Files episodes? You know the ones I mean—they usually revolved around computer programs that suddenly were able to turn light switches off and on, on-screen images of the humanoid inner selves of the hardware causing so much trouble, and the Lone Gunmen explaining the impossibility of a 5 megabyte-per-second internet connection.
Maybe this episode of Fringe will look that dated in a few years. But, for right now, it isn’t so bad.
Battlestar Galactica: The Disquiet that Follows My Soul
Adama: "You know, there are days when I really hate this job."
Adama went back to life as usual. He put his grief and despair in its place and moved on to the important business of saving the human race. But the rest of the fleet wasn't ready to move on with him. To them, allying with the Cylons is still sleeping with the enemy. And not telling the fleet who the final Cylon was? Big mistake. Huge. Everyone is going to rush to fill in the blank.
Heroes Webisode: Recruit #3
Chapter Three - We Do What We Have To.
Summary:
At a undisclosed facility in Tappen, NJ, Angela Petrelli continues her interrogation of Rachel Mills. She wants to know why Rachel killed Sullivan. We flashback to the laboratory at Pinehearst, where Sullivan is in the process of being changed by the serum. Hanover tries to shoot him, but he escapes at super speed. Rachel urges Hanover to put the gun down but he refuses so she tries to disarm him with a piece of scrap metal. Floored, he manages to stand again and is just about to shoot Mills when Sullivan attacks him and drags him to the ground. Mills stands and is also attacked by Sullivan, but manages to teleport across the room to safety. She picks up a pair of large scissors and Sullivan attacks again, only to be skewered and killed by the scissors.
Back in the present day, Mills tells Angela that she didn't have a choice. Angela seems to understand her predicament but still won't free her until she reveals where the serum is. Mills explains that after seeing what the serum was capable of, she destroyed the last sample. After a pause Angela says “wrong answer” and leaves the interrogation room.
In another flashback we see Mills with the missing vial.
Thoughts:
It was good to see Angela again. She's grown on me a lot of late. I was never a fan of Arthur Petrelli, but if I had to pick one positive thing that came from him being in the show, I'd have to say that his back story with Angela gave her some much needed depth. I actually kind of like her now.
What exactly is, or should I say was, Sullivan's ability? His eyes glowed red and he seemed to turn semi-feral. Was that super speed too? Or maybe slightly less than super speed but still pretty damn fast. Shame it wasn't enough to save him from a pair of scissors (albeit nasty, pointy looking ones).
And Angela's certainly not stupid. I would have totally bought Rachel's story. But judging by the flashback at the end Mills is feeding her a pack of lies. She didn't destroy the vial after all. I wonder what she wants it for? To cure herself, maybe?
Quotes:
Mills: “I didn't have a choice
Angela: “We do what we have to”.
Mills: “So I've noticed”.
Doctor Who: The Next Doctor (Christmas Special 2008)
Doctor: “Rosita? Good name. Hello, Rosita”.
Christmas is traditionally a time where new Who goes mental with the special effects. The Christmas episodes are not your average episode. They're bigger, brasher, littered with innuendo and for the most part, incredibly entertaining. True, some are turned off by the occasionally over the top production (which does have a nasty habit of getting in the way of the story sometimes) but only a fool would deny that more often than not, they're a stonkingly good romp.
Lost: The Lie
Ana Lucia: "Oh yeah. Libby says hi."
This episode was worth it for the Ana Lucia surprise ghost cameo alone. And I loved everyone carrying Sayid around, sort of like the Lost version of Weekend at Bernie's. Even Jack carried Sayid. And Jack discovered that waking Sayid is something you do *very carefully*.
Supernatural: Criss Angel is a Douche Bag
Sam: "Think we will?"
Dean: "What?"
Sam: "Die before we get old?"
Dean: "Haven't we both already?"
I wasn't that wild about last week's. And unfortunately, I wasn't that wild about this one, either. But it did have some good bits. And it actually took us somewhere.
Smallville: Bulletproof
Clark: "Who are you? Warrior Angel?"
Kid: "No, I'm the Red Blue Blur."
No, Clark! Don't go back to Lana! We just got rid of her after seven long years! DON'T GO BACK TO LANA, CLARK!
*sigh*
Fringe: Bound
Lost: Because You Left
Sawyer: "First things first. Give me your shirt."
[I'm doing the two parts separately. This is a review of part one only.]
Did absence make the heart grow fonder, or was this episode a hoot and a half? I was bouncing around and laughing, I was so delighted. It was like a gift to the fans tied up with a great big bow. (Yes, new viewers would have been totally Lost, but tough. Rent the first four seasons, new viewers.)
Heroes Webisode: Recruit #2
Chapter Two – It Was Nothing.
Summary:
At an undisclosed facility in Tappen, NJ, Rachel Mills is interrogated by Carlos. Like Angela, he wants to know the whereabouts of the serum. He informs her that a drug is neutralising her abilities She tells him that she doesn't have any abilities and that she's not special.
We flashback to the Pinehearst Laboratory. Sullivan confides in Mills that she should have told him about her abilities, but Mills is still in denial. As she's helping Sullivan to his feet, Hanover appears behind them. She notices he's holding two vials of the serum and asks where the third is. He admits to injecting himself with it after hearing a rumour from Tracy that it would make them into super soldiers. She tells him to let Sullivan try the serum. Hanover refuses and convulses in pain, allowing Mill's to take a vial from him. Recovered, he points a gun at her but she injects Sullivan anyway. Hanover shoots her in the shoulder. Sullivan falls to the ground...and instantly the serum starts to take effect.
Thoughts:
Well, I guess now we know why Rachel has a bullet hole in her shoulder. And we can be reasonably sure that Rachel already possessed her abilities before enlisting in the program. So that's two mysteries solved. But other than that not a great deal happened.
No Angela this week, which is a shame. I think webisodes benefit greatly from having at least one regular character in them. So why replace Angela with Carl I wonder? They seem to have virtually identical roles in the story.....that of the interrogator. Perhaps Cristine Rose wasn't available for all of the webisodes.
I'm also a little unclear as to what the serum actually does. I know it gives ordinary people seemingly random powers. But what if you inject someone who already possesses powers with it? Would their genetic changes disappear, as appeared to be the case with Mohinder? What would happen if Mills injected herself with the serum? Is that her plan maybe?
Short and not so sweet.
Quotes:
Hanover: “Give me the damn serum!”
Mills: “You had your shot”.
Mills: “Did you inject yourself with the serum?”
Hanover: "Damn right I did. I heard that Tracy chick say it would make us into super-soldiers”.
Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion
Starbuck: "If that's me lying there, then what am I? What am I?"
Cheese and crackers. Can you say intense?
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #10
Episode Ten:
Summary:
Aboard raptor 718, everyone's dead bar Gaeta. He injects himself with a syringe of morpha and prepares to administer a second, fatal dose. He starts to sing when suddenly the ship's interior is illuminated from outside and Hoshi's voice comes through on the com. Finally help has arrived.
Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion
Some thoughts from Jess Lynde ...
There is a great article over on the Chicago Tribune about last night's BSG. I didn't find it spoilery, but read at your own risk, as it does address that final reveal. It is quite lengthy, but includes an interview with Ron Moore and thoughts from the episode's writers and directors. Here's the link:
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2009/01/final-fifth-cylon-ellen-tigh-battlestar-galactica-dualla-dee-.html
Some good stuff from Ron in the interview, especially regarding the final reveal of the episode. But I think my favorite part of the article is this bit from David Weddle about his inspiration for the title and the theme of the episode:
"The day the staff finished putting the cards up on the board with Ron, and the day before we began writing, I flashed on my favorite American novel, Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey. It is a much underappreciated and towering work. Anyone interested in fine literature and great story telling should read Kesey's masterpiece.
"The book opens with a childish rhyme that enunciates the theme of the book and what to me was the theme of our show. `Sometimes I live in the country. Sometimes I live in the town. Sometimes I get a great notion. To jump in the river and drown.'
"In Kesey's book, the hero---Hank Stamper, an Oregon logger---does constant battle with the river that runs past his home, a river that has claimed the lives of pets and loved ones and comes to symbolize the vast and indifferent power of the universe that both gives life and cruelly snatches it away again. In his notes to himself as he was writing the book, Kesey scribbled something that has become one of the shorthand phrases Brad and I use while writing scripts. Kesey wrote: "Try to make Hank quit." By that he meant: take this strong, heroic character and pile one misfortune on his back after another until he finally falls. What happens in that moment? Does he despair? Does he get up and go on? For me, there is no more defining moment for a character.
"We tried to do this with almost all the characters in this episode: Adama, Laura, Kara, Lee. We ripped everything out from under them then sat back to see what they would do. What were their individual breaking points? And if they did break, would they stay broken or grope toward a recovery?"
***
Interesting stuff. I like the dark place to which they took this episode. Dee's suicide was heartbreaking, but made absolute sense. When you've lost everything and all hope is stripped away, someone is bound to break. Dee was a powerful choice, given that she's always been the quiet, calm center, refusing to give up and providing strength to others. If Dee can't continue, where does that leave everyone else?
There were a number of great scenes and shocking moments in this episode, but I think my favorite scene was when Adama, Laura, and Lee returned to Galactica and faced with all the hopeful faces of the crew, Laura simply couldn't say anything. Powerful stuff. My second favorite scene was when Leoben freaked out after finding Starbuck's body and admitted he was wrong about Earth. Even crazy, faith-driven Leoben doesn't know what to make of Kara. Whoa!
I've got tons of questions about the 13th colony, the timing of its destruction, and the final five. And, of course, what the heck is Kara? I'm looking forward to where it goes from here.
Supernatural: Family Remains
Sam: "So it's just a girl?"
Dean: "It's not just a girl. It's psycho Nell. I'm telling ya, man. Humans."
If anything, this episode proved that Supernatural doesn't need supernatural elements to be scary.
Smallville: Legion
Garth: "Where's your cape?"
Smallville used to be about a young alien -- one alien -- trying to fit in on planet Earth, and about his personal journey toward his destiny as the world's greatest hero. Now it's superhero central. And how convenient that three alien superheroes from the future showed up with exactly the right powers that were needed to turn Brainiac into a big silver bocche ball.
The Oceanic Six: A Conspiracy of Lies
As of this writing, the next new episode of Lost is only 14,531 minutes away. Yes, I’m desperate for more. Yes, I’ve been re-watching old episodes (I recommend the end of Season 3: knowing what we do about what happens, Ben’s dismay and confusion over Locke’s coup is even more powerful). Yes, I’ve been dissecting the new promos and trailers. But no, it isn’t working.
So in a pathetic attempt to satiate my Lost cravings, I’ve been indulging in commentaries, easter eggs, and special features galore. I’m always disappointed by the Lost DVD special features: I want more! I want the drama, heartache, philosophy, and confusion of…okay, I really just want new Lost episodes. But since the impossible is, well, impossible, I recommend for your viewing pleasure The Oceanic Six: A Conspiracy of Lies from the Season 4 DVDs.
The Oceanic Six: A Conspiracy of Lies is allegedly from an “anonymous source,” and purports to investigate the plausibility of the Oceanic Six’s story. The mockumentary uses real-life experts to support its final conclusions that: the crash was staged; the Oceanic Six (and possibly a pregnant woman, to give birth to Aaron) were hidden in a remote location for 108 days; and the entire thing is the work of the U.S. government, the United Nations, or a sinister corporation with nefarious and ambiguous motives.
The mockumentary has the trust-me-I’m-serious narrator, blurry videos, and extremely cheap graphics we’ve come to expect from similar works on the Kennedy assassination, alligators in the sewers, and other completely erroneous, completely earnest documentaries. It’s structured as an investigative narrative, proposing and discarding theories (like cannibalism) as new evidence comes to light.
Occasionally, bold-fonted words pop up over the on-screen images: “Truth?” or “Lying” or simply, “?”. The best one, of course, is the narrator’s final assertion that the Oceanic Six, instead of being lured by money, must in fact be living in fear. On-screen graphic: “Of What?” and “Of Whom?” How can you not trust a conspiracy theorist who knows his objective case?
Of course, this mockumentary assumes that we’re familiar with the travails of the Oceanic Six as their story was told to the general public. Whether or not such notoriety will prove an important plot point for our plucky band of heroes remains to be seen. But it’s also pretty cool to see a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the Lost Power that Be of the impossibility of the little things: grooming, changes of clothes, lack of sunburns and weight loss. And there’s something neat about the sense of being included in a gigantic in-joke.
Does The Oceanic Six: A Conspiracy of Lies make the waiting any easier? Not really. But, at about 25 minutes in length, it helps pass the time. All 14,531 minutes of it.
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #9
Episode Nine:
Summary:
Aboard raptor 718, Sweet Eight confesses to Gaeta her treacherous past. At first Gaeta refuses to believe it. He remembers seeing people from the list alive on New Caprica. Sweet Eight admits to saving some, but only enough to fool him into trusting her. She accuses him of being seduced by hope.
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #8
Episode Eight:
Summary:
Aboard raptor 1029, Racetrack and Hoshi continue their search. Hoshi is convinced that Gaeta would never give up on him and wants to keep searching. Racetrack reasons that even Gaeta would give up if the situation became hopeless. She reassures him that Gaeta would understand. Reluctantly, Hoshi agrees to return home.
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #7
Episode Seven:
Summary:
Aboard raptor 1029, Racetrack and Hoshi are discussing Gaeta. Hoshi tells her of Gaeta penchant for doing the right thing. Racetrack compliments him on his strong moral core, but points out that such convictions often lead to death. She apologises for her faux pas, but Hoshi tells her it's okay and they continue their search
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #6
Episode Six:
Summary:
Racetrack and Hoshi continue their search for the missing crew. Their first FTL jump brings up nothing on DRADIS....so they jump again.
Battlestar Galactica: The Face Of The Enemy #5
Episode Five:
Summary:
Pilot Eight's body is jettisoned into space. Sweet Eight observes the ceremony, her face contorted with grief. Later, whilst everyone's sleeping, Gaeta, clearly in pain, injects himself with morpha. Beside him, Sweet Eight watches silently, before closing her eyes and pretending to sleep.
The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines
About half-way through The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines, I checked my watch. And again about 30 minutes later. By then, our hero was engaged in a crisis of conscience: should he save the world, or gain the power to alter the space-time continuum and thereby reacquaint himself with his father? My own dilemma was just as pressing: would I continue, or call it a day and start the new Jhumpa Lahiri book of short stories?
I wasn’t checking my watch, or glancing enviously at my new stack of books received for Christmas, because this second installment of the series was poorly made or banal. It has all the shine of the original, The Quest for the Spear. Noah Wyle is charming as the brilliant and socially awkward Flynn Carsen, the newest in a long line of librarian who act as custodians of powerful artifacts. Bob Newhart and Jane Curtain are as dry as a good martini. And Gabrielle Anwar’s character, who has 3 more degrees than Flynn, is nerdy, forceful, and turned on by knowledge. Return to King Solomon’s Mines even has Erick Avari, who has been in everything from Heroes to Stargate to The X-Files.
No, I think I was undergoing something of a Librarian-overdose. Two similar movies in three days; two quests for powerful objects with well-researched mythologies; two will-they-or-won’t-they couplings between amorous hero and reluctant heroine. At first blush, very little changed from the first to the second movie, and I was starting to feel like I was watching a different staging of the same play. I made it to the end, then buried my nose in a good book.
But now, a day later, I’m revising my opinion. Like any sequel, this second film was forced to continue what the first did best; the skill comes in making it feel fresh and spontaneous, which it did. The jokes were funny, and didn’t reiterate the humorous asides made in the first. Rather, they reflected the impressive character development that Flynn has undergone since we last saw him, on his first adventure to save the world. He’s moved out of his mother’s house, and evidently broken up with Penelope (I guess she’s busy tracking down Desmond, which is probably for the best). His new love interest is radically different from Sonya Walgar’s Nicole—not a shabby feat to pull off, and one that speaks well for the attention to characterization on the part of the writer, director, and cast.
Flynn is far more confident, and at times even seems to be chomping at the bit for more authority and say-so in the Library’s affairs. Whereas in the Indiana Jones movies, the most obvious source for the Librarian adventures, Indy never quite seemed to change (with the exception of that most recent one, which I will speak of no more), Flynn is growing up and turning into the man his mother, and we, hoped he would become.
Even the plot seems a bit more complex. The ending refuses to be easy, at least as far as Flynn’s personal life is concerned. And without giving away any twists, I can still say that the mythology of both the library and Flynn’s participation in the universe of mystical objects has started to blossom. In a way, it’s surprising that this series was never made into a television show: I could imagine us bloggers and fans making charts, genealogical trees, and graphs to show relationships; creating useless and addictive websites; invading Comicon.
What we have, instead, is just one more installment, The Curse of the Judas Chalice. I’ve only seen bits and pieces of it, enough to know that it is set in New Orleans (Best. City. Ever.) and has vampires, which are always good. I’ll probably review it someday, but right now I need a bit of a break from fun-loving adventure. So my recommendation? Check it out, but not right after the first one. Maybe break up your Librarian marathon with a spot of reading, instead.
2009 Guest Book
Yes, this is my blog, not an actual guest book. But if you want to post feedback for me or for my guest writers, anonymously if you like, without having to send me an email -- this is the place.
So please feel free to post any comment you like. I always read every comment posted on my blog, and try to answer any questions.
Happy 2009!
Buffy Season Eight: Time of Your Life (1)
Willow: "She's never been in New York."
Buffy: "I'm the King Kong of the Worrrrld!"
Willow: "Or, apparently, a limo."
Synopsis:
The story begins with Buffy fighting a young woman in mid-air, above a city-scape that looks decidedly science-fiction-like. Buffy doesn't know where she is or whom she is fighting, but both Buffy and her opponent are holding identical Scythes.
Buffy Season Eight: Wolves at the Gate (4)
Andrew: "My giant-sized teammate is fighting a mechanized version of herself on the streets of downtown Tokyo. I've been preparing for this day my entire life!"
Synopsis:
The battle between Buffy's Slayers and the ninja vamps is in progress. The first few panels show Renee's point of view, mostly of a stunned and bloody Xander, as she realizes that she is dying. Unable to speak as her vision goes white, her last thoughts are, "I never got to tell him. Xander, I'm not ready."
Buffy Season Eight: Wolves at the Gate (3)
Dawn: "Hi. Or, I mean... roar?"
Synopsis:
We begin in Tokyo, where the ninja vamps have left Aiko the slayer's body spreadeagled on the side of a skyscraper, captioned by the words "Welcome to Tokyo" in Japanese. Buffy and her slayers cut Aiko down and carry her shrouded body to what appears to be local slayer headquarters, where Buffy broods about what to do next... which turns out to be capturing and interrogating one of the enemy. Which is hard when they can turn into fog.
Buffy Season Eight: Wolves at the Gate (2)
Dracula: "Manservant, your moor is one snide comment away from a swarm of bees."
Xander: "Okay, okay, calm down. Nobody wants a swarm of bees."
Synopsis:
The issue begins with a flashback to "fifteen minutes earlier." Dracula is utterly depressed, bewhiskered and filthy, and looks several hundred years old. Butterfield, Dracula's tiny, purple-faced minion, tries to tempt him with a young victim to hunt, to no avail. But suddenly, Dracula senses something outside and calls for a razor. Xander and Renee arrive and Dracula answers the door, looking like his old, or rather young, self.
Buffy Season Eight: Wolves at the Gate (1)
Buffy: "Oh, my god. What happened?"
Willow: "I think we're under attack... why are you naked in bed with Satsu?"
Synopsis:
Xander and Renee are on the castle battlements. Even after noticing that there are wolves down below scouting the perimeter, romantic vibes are in the air and Renee gets Xander to ask her out. Cut to Buffy, post-really-good-sex, in bed with... Satsu. Cut to Willow flying with Andrew, who is of course quoting Superman I with himself in the role of Lois Lane. Willow drops Andrew at the castle. A woman, whom we later learn is named Kumiko, attacks Willow from behind -- in mid-air.
Buffy Season Eight: A Beautiful Sunset
Xander: "So the bad guys have a super-powered spokesmodel. Huzzah."
Synopsis:
As they watch all of the Slayers (and Giant Dawn, who is drinking entire kegs of beer) party below them, Buffy and Xander talk about Buffy's decision to share her power with the Potentials, to change the world. The discovery that a band of Slayers led by a Slayer named Simone Doffler are committing crimes has made Buffy question her decision. And Buffy and Xander both need a man. Xander for male bonding, Buffy for... other reasons.
Buffy Season Eight: Anywhere But Here
Buffy: "Hey, the demons are after us, the humans are after us, this whole 'Twilight' thing is looking very creepy and hey, Faith tried to kill me again! My grip on reality is not that grippy."
Synopsis:
Willow is flying, and carrying Buffy on her back; they're searching for something in particular, which turns out to be a cottage facade concealing the lair of something called Sephrilian. During the flight, Buffy and Willow play a game (I'm assuming it's "Anywhere But Here", given the title of this issue) in order to keep Buffy from freaking out. Buffy spins a beach fantasy starring Daniel Craig and some suntan lotion. Willow's involves being alone with Tina Fey in a cabin in a snowstorm, which sparks a brief Buffy/Willow conversation about Kennedy, who is apparently still Willow's significant other even though we never see her around.
Buffy Season Eight: No Future for You (4)
Giles: "Maybe I could be the Steed to your Peel?"
Faith: "God, I hope that's not as gross as it sounds."
Synopsis:
We start with the Mayor and Faith and a scene where Faith is wearing that pink dress that he got for her. (Which episode was that?) Faith tells herself that it wasn't her fault that the Mayor led her astray; he made her feel loved. As Roden has with Gigi.
Buffy Season Eight: No Future for You (3)
Gigi: "The mighty slayer who's the very fount of all our power is called Buffy. Can you even believe it?"
Faith: "No."
Synopsis:
Gigi shows Faith her surveillance footage of Buffy, and confides that she plans to assassinate her in order to set all of the slayers free of servitude to humanity. Roden has told Gigi that her horrendous nightmares will cease when she takes Buffy out, and Gigi believes it. Faith tries unsuccessfully to talk her out of it.
Buffy Season Eight: No Future for You (2)
Faith: "Anyway, live and learn. Almost die and learn way more."
Synopsis:
The issue begins with a recreation of the Buffy/Faith final fight scene in "Graduation Day", ending with Buffy stabbing Faith.
Buffy Season Eight: No Future for You (1)
Faith: "Dr. Seuss never tells you that even with brains in your head and feet in your shoes, you can still end up in Cleveland."
Synopsis:
Faith, hanging out at the Cleveland Hellmouth, gets a call from Robin Wood. As assigned, she checks out the house of a single mother who was vamped, and finds six vamped children waiting to eat her. After staking them, understandably bummed, she returns to her Spartan abode to find Giles waiting with an offer she can't refuse -- early retirement and moola, a plane ticket to anywhere she wants -- in exchange for one assignment: taking out a very bad Slayer.
Buffy Season Eight: The Chain
Unknown Slayer: "Did I get the hardest, darkest path to walk 'cause I'm strong, I'm good, I can handle the burden? Or am I weak, expendable, the one that won't be missed?"
Synopsis:
Down in the underworld, Yamanh of Hoht proclaims that he has killed Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it certainly looks as though the body he is holding above his head is Buffy. But it's not; it's one of the two Buffy doubles mentioned in part one of "The Long Way Home."
Buffy Season Eight: The Long Way Home (4)
Buffy: "Get your favorite blade and be ready for anything and the mother of anything."
Synopsis:
So. Warren explains to Willow, his captive, what really happened to him in season six. Amy had been watching, and was responsible for Warren vanishing right after Willow ripped off his skin. "Her magic is my skin," Warren says, and does his usual meandering chattering thing as he moves an exacto knife to Willow's eye, and asks if she's bored now.
Buffy Season Eight: The Long Way Home (3)
Xander: "Ladies and other ladies... the indescribable Rosenberg."
Synopsis:
In Buffy's dreamscape, the one who said "my love" is revealed to be Ethan Rayne, who is trying to contact her for reasons we don't yet know. Ethan shows Buffy what is happening in the real world, which is Willow versus Amy. He shows her what is coming: Amy's cage from a rat-sized perspective, the inside of something red and blotchy with a dead demon, and a device like an X-shaped cage.
Buffy Season Eight: The Long Way Home (2)
Xander: "Amy. Long time, no desire whatsoever to see."
Synopsis:
Giles, somewhere, is drinking tea and lecturing Slayers on backing each other up. Cut to Buffy in Scotland, doing pretty much the same thing. Cut to Andrew, probably in southern Italy, lecturing to a group of Slayers on what was wrong with Return of the Jedi.
Buffy Season Eight: The Long Way Home (1)
Buffy: "I miss my home. I miss my mom. I miss the gang. And churros. And sex. Great muppety Odin, I miss that sex."
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