Dollhouse: Epitaph Two, Return

Adelle: "You're not coming back."
Topher: "Small price to pay. I didn't want to cause any more pain."

Talk about going out with a bang, huh? I'd like to thank Joss Whedon for giving us such a positive ending. I honestly wasn't expecting it.

Supernatural: Swap Meat

Dean: "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sam?"

Supernatural Lite. I thought it would get darker than it did, possibly with a teen massacre at the end. Instead, Gary and Nora Learned a Valuable Lesson and just might live happily ever after; only their nasty friend got smushed.

Smallville: Disciple

Chloe: "Think like the CIA, with arrows and plaid skirts."

So we had an episode theme and everything: heroes and their dark sides.

Chuck: Chuck versus First Class

“I think we can all agree this team has been dysfunctional for the past two years.”

Shaw feels like a real spy. None of that namby-pamby feel-good silliness: he’s cold, he’s forthright, and he’s concerned with information—knowing who knows what, and how to get more. Shaw makes this show feel like it has stakes: not just dead-wife stakes, but actual spy-stakes.

NewsFlash: A new La Femme Nikita on the CW?

According to my favorite news source, McG may be rebooting La Femme Nikita for the CW. Of course, if it doesn't star Roy Dupuis (and I'm sure it won't, since he's busy making movies), I'm not sure it's worth the trouble. It's always been my impression that the fans want more LFN, but only if it's a movie with Roy and Peta.

Heroes: The Art of Deception

As I mentioned earlier, I reviewed every episode of Heroes up until "The Fifth Stage" but couldn't make myself continue. So in order to finish the run of reviews and satisfy my urge for completion, below are links to what I thought were the best reviews of this episode.

Dan Owen at Dan's Media Digest wrote:

I feel like I'm beginning to rate the success of Heroes purely on how much happens in an episode, how quickly, and how well it keeps me entertained. See, if I rate it on storytelling complexity or my emotional connection to events, it's still barely working at all. "The Art Of Deception" was better than last week's dross because it had more relevance to the season's storyline, and there were a few scenes I rather enjoyed, but that's about as upbeat as I can get about Heroes now, as it plods towards it finale... (For the entire review, click here.)

Madison at Unreality Mag wrote a fairly positive review:

This week’s episode, “The Art of Deception,” lived up to its title. Samuel, Noah, and Parkman were featured prominently, and each of them acted deceptively in one way or another. Overall, it was a pretty strong episode and added some new twists to the overall story arc. (For the entire review, click here.)

While Matt Richenthal at TV Fanatic had a less positive slant:

This week's episode of Heroes focused on one undeniable fact: Every character is a complete and utter moron. (For the entire review, click here.)

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Buffy Season Eight: Turbulence

Xander: "Cat's out, Dawnie."
Buffy: "And I approve. I'm Buffy, and I approve this kissage."

Synopsis:

On her way back to the temple, Buffy decides to keep her brand new superpowers a secret. The powers -- flying and super strength -- feel right to her, somehow.

Fringe: What Lies Below

“Some things are meant to be left alone, Agent Farnsworth.”

A Dutchman and a bike courier walk into an office. “Nice day,” says the courier. The Dutchman responds by dying, spraying blood on kindly and comely office workers. Turns out, it’s a 75,000 year old virus that is, quite possible, responsible for the extinction not just of one Dutchman, but all of the Ice Age animals, too. No joke, that.

Supernatural: Sam, Interrupted

Dean: "You're my shrink? Lucky me."
Dr. Cartwright: "And you're my paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis. Lucky me."

So if they don't die young, or bring about the end of the world, they'll wind up institutionalized. There's not only no happy ending for the Winchesters; there's really no happy ending for the Winchesters.

Chuck: Chuck versus Operation Awesome

“What’s it like being a world-class spy?”

Chuck doesn’t usually have a Theme of the Week. But—wow!—this week’s episode was all about duality and foils: the people who bring out own skills and foibles into sharp relief just by being so very different from us. Usually, Awesome is Chuck’s foil because Awesome is suave, financially solvent, together, and the kind of guy you want to bring home to mom. But this week…

Lost: The Crash of Oceanic 815

This might be the best Lost fan video I've ever seen. It's the crash of 815, taken from a number of episodes and webisodes. It's awesome.

Human Target: Pilot

Tricia Helfer: "You wore a vest? Where's my vest?"
Chance: "I'm your vest."

Except for the fact that I hate heroes with names like "Chance," I really enjoyed the pilot episode of Human Target. It moved like a high-speed train (in more ways than one) and it made me laugh out loud, over and over.

Heroes: Pass/Fail

Apparently, it was a fail.

NewsFlash: Torchwood jumping the pond?

I love Torchwood. I love it a lot. Their miniseries "Children of Earth" was the best thing I saw last summer, and John Barrowman is nearly my favorite hot guy on the tube (after Jensen Ackles, of course). Being a Torchwood fan in the states can be difficult, though; we have to wait for it to air on BBC America. The Sci-Fi Channel carries Doctor Who (but late, late, late) but hasn't chosen to run its spinoff series (some say for a reason that rhymes with shmomophobia).

Well, according to LiveFeed, we might be getting Torchwood in the U.S., on Fox – with the original production team and, most critically, John Barrowman as Captain Jack. Frankly, if Barrowman isn't on board, forget it.

I'm feeling apprehensive about this whole thing. It's Fox, and I hate Fox. I hate the possibility of Torchwood without John Barrowman, too. And what about Eve Myles?

Fringe: Johari Window

“I guess that folks with that kind of deformity don’t tend to leave home.”

This episode was supposed to have been about freaks pulling together. Walter, Peter, Olivia, and Astrid forming a tight little bond of society’s outcasts, and the people of Edina doing the same. But, instead, it was a disastrous, offensive, and clumsy example of how cruelly the world treats people who are different, and it seems completely unaware of exactly how offensive it is.

Dollhouse: The Hollow Man

Boyd: "Topher. Think."
Topher: "That's what got us here in the first place. I'm going for mindless destruction now."

NewsFlash: John Carter of Mars starts shooting

I sort of have to put this one in context.

When I was eleven, my parents were in the middle of an extremely messy divorce, and I saw my father infrequently (before he took off for another state with his next future wife, after which I barely saw him at all). One day when I was at his new apartment, I was fascinated by a stack of lurid-looking paperbacks sitting on his coffee table. The covers featured a guy with a sword, a scantily-clad woman, and exotic, alien creatures. My father said he was done with them and handed them to me. They were six of the ten books in the Mars series by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the first of which was originally published in 1912.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Angel of Death

“I think I scratched my espionage itch.”

Awesome is awesome. (Although whenever he speaks, I think of the dog with the talking collar from the movie Up.) Despite his massive screw-up, Awesome found a solution to the problem of his own creation and re-found his marital satisfaction while doing so.

Heroes: Close to You

As I mentioned previously, I reviewed every episode of Heroes up until "The Fifth Stage" but couldn't make myself continue after the loss of Nathan Petrelli. So in order to finish the run of reviews and satisfy my urge for completion, below are links to what I thought were the best reviews of this episode.

Dan Owen at Dan's Media Digest wrote:

Overall, "Close To You" was pretty average but it flowed a lot better than last week's insulting double-bill grind. The annoying thing about season 4, right now, is that you get the impression there was a really good story to be told, and that if the writers could go back in time with knowledge of how these episodes have panned out, they could rewrite the show to fine effect. (For the entire review, click here.)

Jennifer Thomas at Entertaining Ideas wrote:

Ah, much better. Last week's two-parter on Heroes was boring, but "Close To You" had some life. Mainly because of the silly, but cute, great escape out of the mental hospital with Ando, Hiro and Mohinder on the run. (Link deleted because unfortunately, this review is no longer on the web.)

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Fringe: Unearthed

“Unless you believe, you will not understand.”

The rumors about this episode were flying all over the internet. It’s from last season but never aired! It’s from an alternate universe! It’s a ploy to steal ratings from Heroes! Well, as Peter says, “People are free to believe whatever they want.” My thoughts? It’s just an episode and there is no master plan.

NewsFlash: Glee picked up for a second season!

Glee has been picked up for a second season, according to Fox Flash and The Live Feed. The show will return on April 13th, 2010, with all-new episodes. Earlier today Lea Michele tweeted... "We got picked up for season 2!!!! I couldn't be more thrilled. Thank you so much to all of our amazing fans for making all this possible."

Amazing fans? That's us! Well done us. We were truly awesome!

Chuck: Chuck versus the Three Words

“I know it felt like I chose being a spy over you, but that’s not what happened.”

Aha! I’d forgotten something very, very important as I watched the previous episode—and I don’t think you’ll blame me. Chuck enjoys the spy life, but his real motivation for being the Intersect, not running away with Sarah, and trying to be the best spy he can be is…goodwill towards mankind? While fun, the spy vs. spy stuff on Chuck feels divorced from reality, at least for me. But for Chuck, the stakes are high, and that motivated his decision to choose intrigue over intimacy.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Pink Slip

“The problem is not with the computer. It’s with you.”

Chuck is right: his emotions screw everything up. He thought he’d hit rock bottom (which, it turns out, is liberally sprinkled with cheese balls) in LA, but reached a truly abysmal low in Mexico. They key flash wasn’t an Intersect-flash, but a flashback to his disastrous decision to choose the life of the spy over a real life being Sarah’s boyfriend.

About Heroes...

I've had the two episodes that aired last Monday sitting in my DVR, glaring at me, but I just can't make myself watch them. And I don't want to watch tonight's, either.

Dollhouse: Getting Closer

Topher: "I always had a crush on you even when I thought you were a dude. (Pause) This is better."

This episode was like plotty-paloosa. All those terrific returning characters. Huge happenings. A shocking reveal that I found confusing.

Buffy Season Eight: Retreat, Part 5

Dawn: "Were my pores that big when I was–?"
Xander: "No. No no no no. Not at all."

Synopsis:

As expected, the giant Tibetan goddesses wreak havoc on Twilight's army. Xander and Dawn are still in charge; they tell everyone to beware of the rampaging goddesses and not to leave their home base undefended as the rout continues. Oz talks with the wounded Bayarmaa, who is worried about the goddesses. She says that the goddesses don't recognize the ones who feed them.

Buffy Season Eight: Retreat, Part 4

Willow: "Buffy, look. We're not even slowing them down."
Buffy: "Yeah. I'm starting to think there's a reason no one's written a suspense novel where the conflict is wolves vs. tanks."

Synopsis:

The Scoobies, slayers and Wiccans try to prepare for war without powers and magic.

The Lost Supper

Yes, Battlestar already did it, but there are two photos of the Lost cast doing DaVinci's Last Supper on the internet. Are there any more versions? If you see one, please post a comment with a link!

Clicking on these guys gives us a wealth of detail. Skulls. The Swan station Dharma logo. I'm not even going to talk about Locke as Christ and Jack as Doubting Thomas. What do you see?

Buffy Season Eight: Retreat, Part 3

Willow: "We can all have futures, Buffy. Even you."

Synopsis:

It's "Storyteller" part two.

After trying unsuccessfully to convince Giles that Twilight has a spy amongst the hidden slayers, Andrew decides to expose said spy with his trusty videocamera. He starts with Bayarmaa, "Oz's exotic mate," who explains how the slayers are working on channeling their powers into nature through meditation and hard physical labor on the land, weaving and churning and taking apart the half-buried submarine.

Heroes: Upon This Rock/Let It Bleed

I slowly fell out of love with Heroes during its third season. Determined not to let go of a show I'd committed to reviewing, I struggled to continue by posting brief comments during the fourth season, but "The Fifth Stage," the episode before this two-parter, was just too much for me, and I stopped. (I wrote a post about why. It was mostly the rumors that there would be a fifth season on top of the loss of Nathan Petrelli.)

Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part 2

Doctor: “I don't want to go.”

I'm not sure what I was expecting from this episode. A humongous battle between the Doctor and the Time Lords, perhaps? An alliance between the Doctor and The Master, eventually culminating in the defeat of Rassilon? What I wasn't expecting was the Doctor dying such an intimate, low-key death. In the end it wasn't the Master or Rassilon who destroyed the Doctor, it was Wilf. And of course, despite the absolute certainty of irreparable radiation damage, the Doctor went to his aid.

Buffy Season Eight: Retreat, Part 2

Buffy: "Twilight is tracking us. We need to learn to not be magical."
Bayarmaa: "Really? Because not teleporting submarines is a good first step."

Synopsis:

The Scoobies are now in Tibet drinking butter tea with Oz and his other half, Bayarmaa, and are shocked when Oz reveals that he's also a father of a baby boy named Kelden. (Kelden?)

Buffy Season Eight: Retreat, Part 1

Buffy: "Giles, are they right? Are we the bad guys? We've killed. Since the beginning. All of us. Even the best of us."

Synopsis:

Willow, flying disguised as a sea gull, carries Buffy, disguised as a fish, to a secret island base protected by Wiccan magicks and disguised to look uninhabited.