Vampire Diaries: Blood Brothers

“You vampires are so emotional.”

In addition to the seventeen zillion plot threads that VD is currently weaving into a climatic season finale, this episode was filled with sexy young things: shirtless Damon and Jeremy, not to mention Katherine looking stunning as always in those corsets. Oh, yeah: and flashbacks galore—I was shocked by how Damon and Stefan became vampires, and I was also shocked by their differing reactions to it.

Fringe: Brown Betty

“His ending wasn’t very good. It was sad. But I fixed it for him.”

I suppose you’ll call this a confession when you read it, Ms. Doux. When you assigned me to the Bishop case, I thought it was open-and-shut: find the missing plot, and whatever cold broad or broken-nosed mick had taken it, and steal it back. But I’ve gone soft—maybe it’s the booze or the broads or just the weight of the years, pressing down on my chest like an Acme safe of despair. I’ve gone soft, Ms. Doux, but I’ve not gone guilty. I’ll confess to what I’ve done, but I won’t say that I’ve done wrong.

Supernatural: The Devil You Know

Bobby: "You're Crowley."
Crowley: "In the flesh. Of a moderately successful literary agent out of New York."

We've come full circle. What happened to Jess in the pilot episode was a huge open plot thread, and it has just been sewn up. (Is that a mixed metaphor?) Poor Jess. Poor Brady, too, since he must have been alive in there and suffering for years, like Meg.

Happy Town: In This Home on Ice (Pilot)

“People call it Happy Town. Because they know. They know.”

ABC’s latest attempt at replacing Lost made its first appearance last night. Part David Lynch, part Neil Gaiman, part Shirley Jackson, part Stephen King... the list could go on. This show has lots of moving parts, lots of characters, lots of mystery, lots of symbolism (this list could go on, too). The bigger question, though, is whether or not it's worth our time. At this point, all I can say is that it has potential, but it also has lots of flaws. This review doesn’t ruin any major surprises, but it does get into the episode in a lot of detail. Caveat lector.

Doctor Who: The Time of Angels (1)

Amy: “She's Mrs Doctor from the future, isn't she? Is she gonna be your wife one day?”

What a difference seven days makes. Not to mention a change of writer. Tonight's story was a marked improvement over last week's. They gave us mysteries galore, dialogue to die for, and the characters actually felt real again. In short, nothing jarred, and all the main leads sparkled. After the blip that was “Victory of the Daleks”, Doctor Who feels well and truly back on track.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Honeymooners

“But you’re a spy, man!”

You can take the boy out of Burbank, but you can’t take the Intersect out of the boy. The previous episode’s game-changer really did change the game: the will-they-or-won’t-they is gone. Kaput. Finis. But what can replace it? Well, Chuck has turned into the story of the Charleses: not Nick and Nora, but close enough. The bigger question is: Is Chuck still Chuck, without the longing?

Stargate Universe: Human

I’m guessing reactions to ‘Human’ largely hinge on one’s enjoyment of Dr. Rush. Rush is one of my favorite characters (his devious nature notwithstanding), and I thought the idea of subjecting him to the Ancient chair was a fascinating way to explore his backstory while still advancing the plot (even a small amount). So at least half the episode worked really well for me.

Summer reviewing plans and future projects

Summer is the season where the hit rate on my site plummets to the basement, and we do retro reviews and play catch-up. Here are our summer plans, and some possibilities for next fall. I'm hoping for lots of comments, because some of these plans are tentative.

Vampire Diaries, Chuck
Josie Kafka is considering the possibility of taking on The Vampire Diaries, but is wary of committing if there's little interest. Would you be interested in seeing Vampire Diaries here on the site? Also -- the best laid plans and so on, but if there is time and opportunity, Josie may catch up with the first season and a half of Chuck.

Wonderfalls, X-Files, Farscape
Jess Lynde is planning to wrap up Wonderfalls and the first season of The X-Files this summer. She's thinking seriously about doing Farscape at some point, too -- do we have any Farscape fans out there (other than me, of course)? She's also planning to write season wrap-ups for Warehouse 13 and Sanctuary (not individual reviews, I hasten to add.)

The original V, Heroes
Dimitri A.C. Ly, who has been covering the new V for us, is going back to the eighties to review "V: The Original Mini-Series" and "V: The Last Stand". Whether he'll go on and review the rest of early V depends on the interest level, and whether or not the new V is renewed. If Heroes gets a fifth season, Dimitri might do more comprehensive reviews of the earlier episodes of season four... you know, the ones where basically all I did was meandering comments and massive complaining.

True Blood, Star Trek
I am definitely reviewing season three of True Blood as it airs this summer. And my annual retro project this summer is going to be the original Star Trek. Yes, I swore I'd never review Star Trek, but it sort of just happened; I blame J.J. Abrams and Zachary Quinto, because they got me watching the original series again. I've already finished a good bit of season one. And I'll be getting some help with commentary by the Original Purple Duck.

Please let us know what you think. We don't write in a vacuum, you know, especially since that tends to make it difficult to breathe.

Glee: The Power of Madonna

Sue: "Somewhere on the English countryside, in a stately manor, Madonna is weeping."

And everywhere across the U.S., thousands of true Gleeks breathe a sigh of relief.

Supernatural: Hammer of the Gods

Sam: "By the way, the next time I say let's keep driving, let's keep driving."
Dean: "Next time."

Oooh! We have quest objects! Four rings to rule them all, and they already have two. Two more rings and a quick trip to Maryland, remove Sam's rib sigils... no, I know it can't be that easy.

Fringe: The Man from the Other Side

“I’m not from here, am I?”

Three episodes left, and things are finally coming together. Peter figured out what’s up, and Thomas Jerome Newton returned. I don’t know what it is about Newton, but I just can’t seem to connect with him, the shapeshifters, or whatever it is they are doing: whenever he appears in an episode, I find myself thanking the programming gods for the in-depth “previously on” montage. That aside, I’m happy we’re getting resolution, both mythology-wise and for the characters.

FlashForward: The Garden of the Forking Paths

“This wasn’t the way it was supposed to play out.”

“The Garden of the Forking Paths” is a short story by Jorge Luis Borges. It’s insanely complex, and I think it’s one of Borges’s subtlest meditations on information, perception, and time. This episode also included shout-outs to Saul Bellow (the female terrorist’s last name is Herzog), Shakespeare’s Caesar, and Oedipus: they’re all stories of men doomed to an unpleasant end due to forces beyond their control.

Lost: The Last Recruit

Smokey: "Nice to have everyone back together again."

This episode felt like that big number near the end of West Side Story where the entire cast was tromping around singing in counterpoint. Everyone is coming together, and in both universes; there was so much going on that it felt choreographed (hence the West Side Story metaphor). Things are building toward a climax. It's about time, pun intended.

Smallville: Upgrade

I think the episode should have been titled 'Out of Control' or to keep with the Smallville standard of one named titles; 'Control'. This was about John Corbin (Metallo) and Clark losing their ability to control themselves, mostly because of Tess and, unfortunately, Chloe. Brian Austin Green is an interesting choice for Metallo, but he might be a touch too sympathetic. Maybe it's because they pulled a complete reversal from the previous episode and gave him back his center of morality. It is of course better than having a mindless monster rampaging about.

Fringe: White Tulip

“God is science.”

Our Theme of the Week is turning things on their heads, reversing what we think we know, playing with our sense of what is happening. The mad professor did it to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, and Fringe did it to both the standard stand-alone and some of the show’s own mythology. The first third of this episode reminded me—a lot—of the series premiere: a train is now a plane, and instead of lying John Scott we have lying Olivia and Walter. And instead of hunting down mad professor Walter, we hunted mad Dr. Robocop. Like Lacan’s reading of Poe’s “Purloined Letter,” it’s all about a limited number of pieces occupying a limited number of spots on the board—you can shift the pieces around, but it’s always the same game.

NewsFlash: Torchwood not getting Foxed

According to my favorite news source, Fox has decided not to take on Torchwood. Since pretty much everyone was perturbed by the very idea of Fox screwing with Captain Jack Harkness, and quite possibly even (horrors) making him straight, this is sort of good news. Except for the fact that Torchwood is still in limbo. I don't want Torchwood in limbo! I want more Torchwood, and no one is giving it to me!

Doctor Who: Victory of the Daleks

Doctor: "All right, it's a Jammy Dodger, but I was promised tea.”

Cliché prohibits me from saying "they're baaaack". But they are. The Daleks have been mercifully scarce of late. A brief cameo here. Some scrap parts turning up there. But no full appearance since “Journey's End”. So, did you miss them?

*Tumble-weed rolls by*

Smallville: Checkmate

(Please pardon the delay in posting. I was recovering from dental surgery last week.)

Tess: "I can't believe you wear tights."
Oliver: "They're not tights."

I liked this episode, but at the same time I felt kinda 'meh' about it. Smallville is always best when it remains simple; when they go for complicated, it tends to get convoluted. This episode was no exception. It was convoluted personified, with pointless plot threads leading up to a conclusion that didn't actually reveal anything.

FlashForward: Let No Man Put Asunder

“You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

I had the chance to watch this episode with my little brother Joe. He’s not much of a TV watcher, so before I hit ‘play’ on the DVR, he said, “Now, this is the one with the government agency that doesn’t play by the rules, right?” I gave that some thought, and then realized that he just described every single show that I review. The FBI didn’t really play by the standard rules in this episode—at least not in the parts that we saw. Demetri’s wedding and disappearance were really the focus of our heroes’ endeavors this week. It might not be the best use of a bunch of special agents, but it was actually kind of touching.

Stargate Universe: Faith

After the last two action-packed episodes, ‘Faith’ seemed much sleepier and introspective. I certainly don’t mind a little down time, but I’m a bit concerned the writers just tried to sweep away the lingering tensions between the military and civilian contingents by giving a few nods to the issue, saying “now we’ve got a month to work it out,” and then having everyone mend fences during a music montage. Seriously? I had high hopes for ongoing conflict after last week, and if this is the way they are resolving things, I’m going to be very disappointed.

Glee: Hell-O

Brittany: "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"

Before I get started, I have to get a few things off my chest:

1. How hasn't anyone in the Glee universe noticed/commented on the fact that Shelby Corcoran (Idina Menzel) is a dead-ringer for Rachel?
2. Sue! Vogue! Laughing so hard it hurt!
3. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Ahem. *Tries to regain dignity*

Supernatural: Point of No Return

Sam: "There's another way."
Adam: "Great. What is it?"
Dean: "Well, we're working on the power of love."

I think I was expecting something a bit more... well, apocalyptic. Like Dean possessed by Michael, with possible rampagey consequences, or even the death of a major character or two. (I've been very worried about both Bobby and Castiel this season, because you can just feel the bad stuff coming -- and the two of them are my favorite Supernatural supporting characters, ever.)

Suggestion box

Got a suggestion for us? Is there a show you think we should review, or possibly just one you think we should be watching? Do you have a general question for any of us? Do you want to give us some feedback?

This is the place. Post your comment, and we'll read it. We can't promise to take on every show that's suggested, but we'll definitely consider it.

Lost: Everybody Loves Hugo

Libby: "Being here with you feels so familiar, like a date we've never had."

I feel like I need a degree of some sort to figure out what happened in this episode. The big question is what sort of degree. Psychology? Physics? Egyptian history? Parapsychology?

Caprica

I watched the Caprica pilot back in April 2009 when it came out on DVD. I was interested in the series because I had been a big fan of Battlestar Galactica and, unlike many, I wasn’t harboring any lingering resentment about the finale of that series. Even though I didn’t necessarily care for all the story choices at the end of BSG, the show had given me years of viewing enjoyment (including several episodes that for me will long rank with the best of televised drama), so I was very curious to see what the creative team would do with this prequel series.

(After the jump ... a general, spoiler-free review of series thus far, followed by a discussion of material from the first ten episodes. I've included a spoiler warning prior to getting into specifics.)

Doctor Who: The Beast Below

Doctor: “Right then. This isn't going to be big on dignity.”

Aaron Asadi, writing for SciFiNow, made an interesting comment earlier in the week. He stopped short of saying that Doctor Who had become Americanised, but did proffer the opinion that RTD always wrote with one eye firmly on the USA. According to Asadi, this manifested itself in "a tendency to map Who’s journey about classic American TV tropes: will-they-won’t-they romance; high-octane action; handsome heroes” and “humourless sacrifice”. Now, whether you agree with him or not (and I sympathise to some degree, without concurring fully), since its resurrection, Doctor Who has been a different show. A better show, some would argue. Having a broader appeal, almost certainly. But at what cost? Has Doctor Who lost some of its Britishness?

Stargate Universe: Divided

With a focus on the fallout from Rush’s and Chloe’s abduction and the military/civilian tension, ‘Divided’ was a very strong outing. From the opening nightmare sequence to the unresolved power struggle at the end, the episode delved right into the deep end of the “ongoing consequences” pool, and I was pretty much doing my mental dance of joy throughout.

Fringe: Olivia. In the Lab. With the Revolver.

“And I know about Peter.”

Last week, Fringe wowed me with an incredible episode in which Joshua Jackson didn’t even appear, and the traditional structure was thrown out the magical viewing window. I was expecting this week’s entry to be a standalone, to remind us of what the show’s usual shape is. While we did get standalone structure (gross-out, mystery, soulful talk, solution), we also got more information about the Cortexiphan trials that Olivia and her cohort underwent in the Jacksonville of their youth, as well as some of the most complex character development we’ve ever seen on this show.

Supernatural: 99 Problems

Dean: "A whole town full of hunters? I don't know whether I should run screaming or buy a condo."

I wasn't that crazy about this one.

FlashForward: Queen Sacrifice

“Message received.”

Maybe I’m just naughty, but whenever I hear about moles infiltrating an organization, I picture Tobias in the mole costume from the second season of Arrested Development. Come to think of it, FlashForward could use a play-on-perspective giant furry animal destroying a tiny metropolis. Humor, pathos, shady real estate deals, no touching…the possibilities are endless.

Fringe: Peter

“He’s just like me. I wouldn’t look back, and neither would he.”

We got some answers this week, but—more importantly—we got some seriously heavy and emotionally wrenching storytelling and acting. A small part of me wants to leave this episode un-reviewed, because its beauty speaks for itself.

Lost: Happily Ever After

Desmond: "That's your sixty year old scotch, Charles."
Widmore: "Nothing's too good for you."

This episode was romantic. And creepy. And mysterious. And satisfying, in a strange way. In fact, it was awesome. Possibly one of my all time favorites.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Other Guy

“I’m still the same guy. I’m still Chuck. I promise.”

It’s been a rough season. Chuck failed his Red Test. Sarah seemed destined for Shaw: either as his girlfriend, or as a victim of his great wrath and terrible vengeance. Casey had been BuyMored, and the sidekicks were so irrelevant that entire episodes could pass without mention or glimpse of Ellie and Awesome. In the middle of it all, many of us were feeling confused by Chuck’s motives, Sarah’s choices, and the general emotional and mythological direction of the show.

FlashForward: Better Angels

“Even if you knew the rules, which you don’t, I don’t think they apply anymore.”

Ah, children. They’re our future, after all. They’re also very useful for advancing slow-burning mythology. Our show this week featured two talkative tykes: Charlie in LA and the young Somali boy in the 1991. Both were traumatized by the supposed death of their parents: Charlie worried that Mark would die after hearing about it in her flash; the Somali was convinced that his mother had died, and he left his village, went to the refugee camp, and never saw her again. He really got the ShortStraw of the ParallelPlots.

Smallville: Escape

Chloe: "Murder, misogyny, and mayhem. I can see why you left that out of the brochure."

I have a simple question. When it comes to the most recent Smallville episode -- why wasn't it horrible? I mean, really. Why wasn't it absurdly bad? The villain was a joke, the plot was just a step removed from a French farce, so why did it work? To be honest, I have no definitive answer. But I have a few ideas.

Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour

Doctor: “Who da man? Oh, I'm never saying that again.”

Season premières are unforgiving creatures. There's often too much to convey in too little time. And this episode was special inasmuch as it had the unenviable task of introducing us not only to a new Doctor, but also to a new companion, and a brand new, super-sized TARDIS. So well done to the man (or woman) whose idea it was to grant us an extra 20 minutes of air time. It helped the story no end (for once).

Stargate Universe: Space

Immediately after the mid-season cliffhanger, I was really looking forward to seeing the next episode of Stargate Universe. But as the months wore on and teaser information started leaking about the second half of the season, I started getting a little apprehensive. The producers were making a lot of statements about how the back ten were going to kick up the action and sci-fi elements, and address many of the complaints people had about the initial run of episodes. I was a bit concerned this uptick in action would come at the expense of the character focus that I enjoyed. I like the whole “the enemy is us” aspect of the series, and am not really bothered by the slow pacing. And I was pretty sure they didn’t plan to eliminate the communication stones or Chloe (my chief complaints). So I went into ‘Space’ with a certain amount of wariness.

Twilight, New Moon, and so on

You'd think the Twilight books would be made for me. It's a huge bestselling romance series about vampires, and I'm a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and True Blood, as well as the Sookie Stackhouse series of novels by Charlaine Harris on which True Blood is based. I even liked Moonlight, which I'll admit wasn't the strongest vampire television series ever made.

But the Twilight series doesn't completely work for me.

I definitely enjoy reading them; these books are well-written, fast, fun reads. I even enjoyed the first two movies. The Twilight universe has tremendous appeal, and I totally get why; the vamps -- or at least, the Cullens -- are romantic, gorgeous superbeings who just happen to be bloodsuckers, and the only beings who suffer for it are bears and mountain lions. I can see why so many are obsessed with it -- especially the young and predominantly female. Who wouldn't want to be an immortal, beautiful, powerful teenager, especially when it includes deathless, obsessive love? The whole "living in the rainy Pacific northwest because we sparkle in the sunlight" thing is a rather fun interpretation of the vampire myth, too.

But the core element of the story is probably the least believable. (For me, anyway.) What makes cold, expressionless Edward so lovable that Bella is almost immediately ready to die for him? Physical beauty and the ability to read minds only goes so far. For that matter, what makes Bella so irresistible to a one hundred year old superbeing? The author's first person account hints that Bella is beautiful, intelligent, selfless, old fashioned, and endearingly clumsy and is unaware of all of this (except for the clumsy part), but it never completely rings true for me. I'm sure the first thing a fan of the books would say in its defense is that Edward and Bella are Romeo and Juliet, so there. They really don't need an explanation, a reason to love each other; they just see each other across a crowded (lunch) room, and that's it. Okay.

The werewolves dominate the second book in order to jumpstart some romantic conflict. As if we're going to believe that anyone other than Romeo Edward will ever do for Juliet Bella. Werewolves have never done much for me. Maybe it's just that I'm a cat person. At least these werewolves, like the vampires, are gorgeous, romantic and over the top instead of hairy guys with snouts.

But what I keep thinking when I'm reading the Twilight books is "Mary Sue." If you're not into fan fiction (and I'm not, but I have friends who are), "Mary Sue" is wish-fulfillment fan fiction, the fan writing herself into the story. The fan is beautiful and brilliant and everyone is obsessed with her and the story revolves around her, although there's really no reason why it should. Bella feels like the ultimate Mary Sue, except that the story isn't fan fiction, it's original. Except that I understand the plot of these books was borrowed heavily from The Vampire Diaries. Which I haven't read, so I'll shut up now.

Let me close by repeating that I did enjoy all four books, and I even read them twice. I also enjoyed the two movies, and I'm looking forward to the rest. But I enjoyed the Sookie Stackhouse books and the True Blood television series a lot more.

That doesn't make them better. It just makes Eric Northman my kind of vamp.

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Supernatural: Dark Side of the Moon

Dean: "Just another deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses, right? I'm used to that."

What terrific storytelling.