Star Trek: The City on the Edge of Forever

Edith: "I think that one day they're going to take all the money that they spend now on war and death..."
Kirk: "And make them spend it on life."

"City" is widely acknowledged to be the best episode of original Star Trek. Written (mostly, anyway, and there's controversy) by well-known science fiction writer Harlan Ellison, it's time travel tragedy at its most moving.

True Blood: Fresh Blood

Eric: "You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless."

So Eric did have a plan. Unfortunately, it involves sacrificing himself in order to take out Russell, revenge his family, and incidentally, save the world from a vampire Hitler.

Farscape: Throne for a Loss

When Rygel is kidnapped for ransom, the crew discovers he has a vital component of Moya’s control circuitry in his possession and they are forced to stage a rescue. Meanwhile, Zhaan attempts to help one of the kidnappers detox from a gauntlet weapon that injects the user with a powerful stimulant.

‘Throne for a Loss’ was pretty much all about the smack down. We saw our crew alternately suffering and doling out beatings, interspersed with a whole lot of in-fighting. Rygel was kidnapped, beaten, trapped in mud, suffocated by a boot to the neck, revived, stuck in bag, and then repeatedly kicked and battered. Crichton, Aeryn, and D’Argo battled each other and the Tavlek kidnappers, leading to several knockout punches and D’Argo getting shot. Even “Am I the only species in creation that doesn’t thrive on conflict?” Zhaan went several rounds with the young Tavlek male she was attempting to help through gauntlet withdrawal. Lessons learned?

--- D’Argo is very angry and wants to be in charge. “This ship needs a leader, and none of you have what it takes!”

--- Aeryn really is a ruthless force, who thrives on battle and slaughter. “I am going to take out every last Tavlek. No survivors, no mercy.”

--- Crichton prefers negotiation to guns blazing. “You didn’t kill ‘em.” “Guess I’m not that kind of guy.”

--- Everyone hates Rygel, and he knows it. “Won’t they ransom you?” “They couldn’t if they wanted to. And they don’t want to because they hate me! Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

And most importantly …

--- Don’t frell with Zhaan. She’s way scarier than our supposed warriors. “How would you like your arm torn off?! […] Hear me. I could rip you apart right now! Ka’Lenn help me, I’d enjoy it!” Plus, she didn’t even flinch when the Tavlek punctured her wrist! Damn, Blue.

In spite of all the fighting --- or should I say because of it? --- this was a very funny episode (that chilling moment with Bekhesh killing Rygel, notwithstanding). I was pretty much laughing throughout, from everyone amped up under the influence of the gauntlet, to the running gag with Crichton calling the Tavleks “Tavloids,” to Crichton and Aeryn bickering about each other’s plans, to Crichton overloading the pulse rifle, to Rygel being repeatedly battered about during the rescue. Even the hard, driving action music was funny. Plus, we ended with that hilarious and gross parting shot from Rygel after “purging” the control crystal: “I did wash it. [Aeryn hesitates, but then takes the crystal.] Well, I think I did.”

Other Thoughts

Apparently this episode was aired out of sequence, too. After ‘Back and Back and Back to the Future’ instead of before. I wonder if the change was the result of production issues or some kind of network interference.

Lots of Aeryn and Crichton in very close quarters this week. During the D’Argo attack alone, he was grabbing her and holding her against him every time they turned the corner (literally!). Combine that with all the fighting, and I’m starting to get the Sam-and-Diane romantic vibe coming off them.

Even though he’s becoming more helpful, Rygel is still a “royal pain” that most of the crew would have been all too happy to leave behind. Crichton initially wanted to retrieve him simply because he was part of the team, but by the episode’s end, I think even he was sorely tempted to leave “the little hairball” behind.

Rygel: “Which means you’re gonna have to take me back as I am, or disembowel me here.”
Crichton: “Don’t you tempt me, Fluffy!”

Zhaan really set herself a thankless task in trying to help the Tavlek. And a fruitless one, at that. It’s pretty hard to help someone who doesn’t want your help. And an addict that doesn’t think he has a problem isn’t going to quit.

I’m amused by Crichton clinging to his pop culture references even though no one understands them. It makes for a fun parallel with the others using cultural references that mean nothing to the audience. (I’d stick in D’Argo’s quote about his head pounding like a something, something day parade (?), but even though I played it back several times, I still can’t understand what he’s saying.)

The head and torso makeup for the Tavleks was pretty good, but the hands didn’t look very made up at all. It was a bit disconcerting to see human hands paired with such an alien face. Come to think of it, D’Argo has the same issue.

Rygel claimed to just be goading the Tavleks by raging on about being buried in mud, but after what we learned in ‘I, E.T.’ I imagine it actually was tantamount to an act of war!

What was with the foliage on the planet? Is there really foliage like that in Australia, or did they spray paint a bunch of leaves neon blue?

We got another fun “bonding” moment with D’Argo and Aeryn while she was recovering from the gauntlet. Yet again finding common ground in their estimate of Crichton’s utter uselessness.

Aeryn: “Imagine. Somewhere out there there’s a whole world full of Crichtons. And how useless that must be. […] Who would’ve thought there’d be a race more clumsy and pathetic than the Luxans?”
[D’Argo pulls his arm away and her head hits the ground.]
Aeryn: “Ow!”
D’Argo: “I’m sorry. You know how clumsy we Luxans can be.”

World-building bits: Fire snakes, razor grass, Moylian death spiders, oculars, D’Argo’s very impressive Qualta blade (“It is more than just a sword”), and Luxan healing processes (“Bleeding freely is the only thing that will help heal the Luxan. The wound isn’t cleansed until the blood flows clear”).

I especially enjoyed that last one. My husband and I often joke about “until the blood runs clear” if one of us has a small wound. Plus, Aeryn beating on D’Argo to facilitate healing was just hilarious. I love the look on her face when she gives him that two-handed pounding after he baits her by calling her a barbarian.

Quotes

Rygel: “I need them to look up to me.”
D’Argo: “Why? We don’t.”
Rygel: “Well you should.”

Crichton: “Pilot, get a tractor beam on that ship!”
Pilot: “Tractor beam? What’s that?”
Crichton: “Graviton field, retro-ray, super glue! Whatever it is you yanked me aboard with.”
Pilot: “You mean the docking web?”

Zhaan: “Soft, yes. Weak, no.”

Pilot: “Secure for acceleration. Crichton has an idea.”
Zhaan (groans): “Did you say Crichton?” [Exasperated grumbling commences.]
Man, even Zhaan is down on Crichton this week!

Jotheb: “The imperfection is yours.”

Crichton: “Oh, don’t *tisk* me! This is not over with. And when it is, you and I are gonna sit down and have a serious talk.”
Aeryn: “Sure. When this is over you and I will probably be dead.”

Zhaan: “Is nudity a taboo in your culture? Are you ashamed of your bodies?”
Boy: “Yeah, we would be, if we looked like you.”
Zhaan: “I doubt it.”
Wow! Did Virginia Hey have to get full body makeup for that scene? That must have taken forever for just that one simple shot.

Rygel: “I can’t eat this. I couldn’t eat this. I mustn’t eat this.”

Crichton (to Aeryn and D’Argo): “If the gauntlet brings out the real you, both of you, think long and hard about therapy.”

Crichton: “Hey! Check out the critter!”

Crichton: “Because, uh, he’s not really a king.”
Bekhesh: “He’s not?”
Rygel (in the bag): “I’m not?”
Crichton: “He’s an escaped mental patient. Delusions of royalty.”
Rygel: “You’re the mental patient if you expect anybody to believe that I’m --- oof!”

Crichton: “Rygel is an obnoxious gasbag, and who’s gonna shell out for that?”
Rygel: “He’s right. I’m unloved, unwanted, unpopular --- [Bekhesh kicks him] --- (gasps) unconscious.”

Bekhesh: “It’s been so long since anyone’s told me the truth, I don’t recognize it anymore.”

Final Analysis: Even though our fugitives spend most of the episode fighting and beating on each other, Rygel’s kidnapping and the gauntlet make for a funny and entertaining outing.

2010 Emmys: What Won, What Lost (Pun!)

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you, with great fanfare, the Emmy results for the categories we care most about. Way to go, Jane Lynch, Neil Patrick Harris, John Lith-wow, and Ryan Murphy!

(The winners are in bold)

Best Drama Series

• Breaking Bad
• Dexter
• The Good Wife
• Lost
• Mad Men
• True Blood

Best Comedy Series

• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Glee
• Modern Family
• Nurse Jackie
• The Office
• 30 Rock

Best Actor in a Drama Series

• Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
• Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
• Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights)
• Hugh Laurie (House)
• Matthew Fox (Lost)
• Jon Hamm (Mad Men)

Best Actress in a Drama Series

• Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
• Glenn Close (Damages)
• Connie Britton (FNL)
• Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
• Mariska Hargitay (L&O: SVU)
• January Jones (Mad Men)

Best Actor in a Comedy Series

• Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
• Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
• Matthew Morrison (Glee)
• Tony Shalhoub (Monk)
• Steve Carell (The Office)
• Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)

Best Actress in a Comedy Series

• Lea Michele (Glee)
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures…)
• Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
• Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)
• Tina Fey (30 Rock)
• Toni Collette (United States of Tara)

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

• John Slattery (Mad Men)
• Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
• Martin Short (Damages)
• Terry O’ Quinn (Lost)
• Michael Emerson (Lost)
• Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age)

Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

• Sharon Gless (Burn Notice)
• Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
• Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
• Rose Byrne (Damages)
• Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
• Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)

Best Guest Actor in a Drama Series

• Beau Bridges (The Closer)
• Ted Danson (Damages)
• John Lithgow (Dexter)
• Alan Cumming ( The Good Wife)
• Dylan Baker (The Good Wife)
• Robert Morse (Mad Men)
• Gregory Itzin (24)

Best Guest Actress in a Drama Series

• Mary Kay Place (Big Love)
• Sissy Spacek (Big Love)
• Shirley Jones (The Cleaner)
• Lily Tomlin (Damages)
• Ann-Margret (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit)
• Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost)

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

• Chris Colfer (Glee)
• Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
• Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
• Jon Cryer (Two and A Half Men)
• Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
• Ty Burrell (Modern Family)

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

• Jane Lynch (Glee)
• Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live)
• Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
• Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
• Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
• Holland Taylor (Two and A Half Men)

Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series

• Mike O’Malley (Glee)
• Neil Patrick Harris (Glee)
• Fred Willard (Modern Family)
• Eli Wallach (Nurse Jackie)
• Jon Hamm (30 Rock)
• Will Arnett (30 Rock)

Notable Other Winners In Categories I Didn't Consider When Drafting This List

• Best Directing for a Comedy Series: Ryan Murphy (Glee)
• Best Directing for a Drama Series: Dexter

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 5: The Perils of Dating

Giles: "Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."

For a show that was at its core about the empowerment of women, sex on Buffy the Vampire Slayer always seemed to turn into a Very Bad Thing.

Moonlight: Sonata

Mick: "I can't close the door on Beth."

Throughout the series, the door to Mick's apartment has symbolized the division between Mick and Beth. He's a vampire. She's a human. What sort of future can they have?

Persons Unknown: And Then There Was One/Shadows in the Cave

Wow, that was unsatisfying.

Even Phineas P. Bear (pictured, right) is unhappy.



And Then There Was One

Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None (aka Ten Little Indians) is a beautifully plotted mystery novel. It is deft, agile, witty, sneaky, and suspenseful. The twelfth episode of Persons Unknown was not.

The cliffhanger (from the web-only episode; my review has a recap if you don’t want to watch it) was quickly resolved, and then quickly unresolved. Madam Director said she wouldn’t red-card the town, and then body bags appeared as fast as the restaurant workers disappeared. Joe and Ulrich cleared everything up: our heroes were meant to kill themselves off. Ulrich, besotted, decided to help everyone escape. So they made his head explode.

They didn’t get me with the bait-and-switch this time. It was pretty clear to me that it was Charlie beating up Blackham (or not), that Erika/Theresa couldn’t have injected anything into Charlie, that Moira’s psychotic break came out of left field, and that Graham probably would have survived what appeared to be a two-story drop.

What did throw me off were the disappearing bodies. That was a major plot point in the movie Identity, which was itself a psychological spin on Christie’s famous novel (with a terrible ending; don’t watch it if you haven’t yet). The Programmers were still in the town, but they weren’t hip to the heroes’ wacky plan. Odd.

But that doesn’t matter, as our heroes seem to have escaped in a van. Wait. They’ve tried that trick before. Which brings me to…

Shadows in the Cave

This episode was fairly suspenseful, at first because the idea of being declared insane despite telling the truth is terrifying. After Janet escaped the hospital, I started to realize there was no way they could wrap this up by the end (which was equally suspenseful). And they sure didn’t.

After the van crashed, Janet found herself in a San Francisco hospital. Moira and Erika/Theresa wound up in Morocco, of all places. Graham was in a white room, similar to the one we saw in “Static.” Bill and Charlie were joyriding their way through the Midwest (not, all things considered, a bad way to spend a day.) I guess that everyone woke up disoriented, wherever they landed—but why was Janet the only one with bruises?

Kat and Renbe, meanwhile (after having flown or driven to Iowa and back, with no money), were abducted again. And I think Renbe is wanted by the police, again. Perhaps because Janet’s story about the town meshes with his story about the town, which means they both must be lying. (Ah, logic.) When last we saw her, Kat was trapped in a cage evocative of the first part of Lost, Season Three, and that spectacular episode of Firefly about the Mudders. Maybe she and Ambassador Fairchild will get it on while Renbe watches on an old-fashioned screen.

But why am I wasting time with all that? What really matters isn’t that Janet got to see her daughter, however briefly, or was betrayed by her mother, or that Blackham seems to know more than he lets on. What matters is how it all ends.

It didn’t.

The producers obviously thought they’d get a second season. As we left it, our heroes (except caged Kat) are divided into two groups: Joe, Renbe, and a bunch of newbies are in a town identical to the one we’ve experienced for the past 13 episodes: Tori is the new manager. Janet, Graham, Moira, Erika/Theresa, Charlie, and Blackham have all progressed to Level Two, and the old night manager is their new guide. Level Two is on a big freighter in the middle of the ocean. Which brings me to…

Some Lightweight Doc Josie Theorizing

I’m pretty sure the ship was called the Almas Perditas (Lost Souls). It may have been traveling towards a storm, or that might have been an island off in the far distance. Traveling over water towards an island is a scenes straight out of Dante’s Purgatory, which implies…well, it implies that the writers are again using iconic religious imagery. I’m not sure it implies much more than that. If there were to be a second season, and if Purgatory (with its video-game-like levels) were the guiding conceit, I’ll bet our heroes would have moved rather quickly to Levels Three, Four, and maybe even Five. At some point there would have been some symbolic forgetting.

Bits and Pieces

• Every one of the heroes complained about having to take the stairs. Throughout, I’ve been amazed they didn’t take them more. They’re only on the third story. That’s only two flights of stairs!

• Charlie and Blackham were camping in a cactus patch. Why there, of all places? Who sleeps that close to thorny things?

• The meeting of the board of directors was very dimly-lit. I don’t know why.

• There’s some movie that has a scene with the hero (Nicholas Cage?) in prison; he breaks out only to realize he’s on a freighter. What movie is it? Is it the last scene of a movie? Should we not say, for fear of spoilage?


This wasn’t satisfying, but I’m not sure that’s anyone’s fault—wrapping everything up neatly would have been silly, if they didn’t know they were being canceled. Even if they did, how else could this have ended? Miraculously taking down the all-powerful Program?

I am glad that they didn’t go the “it was all a dream/game/fictional construct” route. I’m really thankful for that, in fact—I hate it so very much. I’m also thankful that it means I don’t have to delve too deeply into Plato, which wouldn’t be much fun for you or for me. I’m also not going to do a “Thoughts on the Series” section, because I’m just done with this show.

Instead, I will leave you with our last Persons Unknown rating, and thank all five of you for continuing to watch with me:

One out of four body bags.

Moonlight: What’s Left Behind

“Children are a precious gift. I just like their blood.”

This episode felt like an ode to pre-modernism LA architecture. Back when times were simpler, people used coal, men were men (and not vampires), and women built airplanes but couldn’t change spark plugs. Oh, and those manly men slept with their presumed-dead best friend’s wife and nearly sired an illegitimate child who was raised by someone else. Y’know: the good ol’ days.

Star Trek: The Alternative Factor

Kirk: "So you're the terrible thing? The murdering monster? The creature?"
Alt-Lazarus: "Yes, captain. Or he is. It depends on your point of view, doesn't it?"

I actually put off watching this one, and wasn't looking forward to writing about it.

Moonlight: Click

[The CW, in its infinite wisdom, decided to skip three episodes and jump to the series finale of Moonlight last night. Fortunately, Josie and I have psychic powers and both of us were writing ahead. So we'll be posting the last few, um, post-haste.]

Beth: "So where does a vampire take a girl on a date?"

NewsFlash: SyFy Superheroes and a Super Cast

The SyFy network has just released casting information for a new show called Three Inches, about a superhero with a tiny power. The cast includes James Marsters (Buffy, Angel, Torchwood, Caprica), Stephanie Jacobsen (BSG: Razor, TTSCC), Naoko Mori (Doctor Who, Torchwood), Alona Tal (Veronica Mars, Supernatural), and Julian Richings (Death on SPN). Filming starts this week.

The full press release can be found here. The program sounds silly, but I’ll probably watch it just for the cast. What about you?

Moonlight: Fated to Pretend

“There’s so much living to do.”

We knew it couldn’t last. I expected it to last a bit longer than this, though. Mick’s humanity had a shelf life of about six months, but he wasn’t taking into account his most human quality: mercy.

Persons Unknown: Seven Sacrifices

NBC is not airing this episode; it is only available on their Persons Unknown website. It’s not a stand-alone, though—what we learned will definitely be relevant for the two-part season finale to come. For that reason, I’m including a synopsis for those of you who dislike watching TV online.

Recap

Moira and Graham slept together. This means a lot to Moira—we know that because she wrote the word “love” on her wall. They also got suspicious about how “chummy” Blackham and Charlie were getting with Liam Ulrich, Night Manager. What they don’t know is that, while at first Blackham wanted to join the program, Charlie eventually convinced him not become Patty Hearst.

Erika revealed that her real name is Theresa Randolph.

Theresa Randolph/Erika became worried that Janet was falling for Ulrich, and tried to get Joe to see her side of things. (This is the “the enemy of my enemy…” technique.) Joe eventually did, and punched Ulrich.

Janet played a confusing game: she seduced Ulrich, very effectively, and while she told Erika that she could “handle it,” it seems like she might be getting sucked into her own lie.

Meanwhile, Kat and Renbe made it back to SFO. Renbe was promptly arrested for the kidnapping of his ex-wife Janet, and the SFPD found six severed thumbs in his bag. Kat was evicted from her apartment because the news ran an article fingering her for the theft of painkillers from pediatric cancer patients (holy hand-grenades!); fired from her job because her newspaper was bought out; and stripped of all of her money by powers unknown.

Various national governmental agencies began to poke around Renbe’s six severed thumbs, and the detective let Renbe go free, because to do otherwise would be to kill the Kat/Renbe plot. Luckily, Renbe had secreted a seventh severed thumb in a bottle of tequila. So they’ve got that going for them.

Ulrich, during Janet’s seduction, preached the gospel of the program. Turns out, our behavior is determined simply by our environment and our “ancestral DNA.” 50 years of research has decided it. I’m not even going to touch this. My ten-foot pole is in the repair shop.

Ulrich, by episode’s end, is certain that Janet is “on board,” because their “connection” will make them useful to the program. Once he tells this bit of news to Evil Boss Lady (thus tipping his hand as far as his infatuation with Janet), she declares that “Town 27” needs to be flushed, and Ulrich (I think) killed.

The old Night Manager, with some cool scars and an even cooler eyepatch (argh!), is now Evil Boss Lady’s amanuensis.


Review

I have to hand it to NBC: they’ve managed not to air the best episode we’ve gotten in a long while. Blackham and Charlie, Janet and Ulrich, Joe and Erika/Theresa, even Kat and Renbe all moved their alliances around. Each character had an emotional arc that was realized in a satisfying way.

Janet’s attempts to seduce her way out of the town (and her obvious manipulation of Ulrich’s sudden infatuation) had a parallel in his story of how he reacted in the same Level One scenario: he tried to kill everyone in his town, hoping to end the experiment right there. (That may have been part of Joe’s motivation for shooting him, but that wasn’t addressed.) Trying to burn six people to death, and trying to seduce a man who works for the enemy are certainly miles apart on the morality spectrum, but ultimately they’re the same thing: using other people as pawns for one’s own gain.

Erika/Theresa bonded with Joe over their hatred of Ulrich. That bonding paralleled Charlie and Blackham—specifically, the way that their own relationship began to be defined by Ulrich and their shifting emotions regarding him. On the other hand, I had the odd sensation while watching this episode that Charlie and Blackham were originally written as one character, but that he was split into two so that his mercurialness wouldn’t be entirely internal.

I still don’t understand how Ulrich could have fallen for Janet so hard, so fast. Oh, well. Kat and Renbe’s plot seemed equally ludicrous: they need to be in the US for some reason, but getting them there was not done with much dexterity.

A few other nit-picks: I got the distinct impression that when Charlie and Blackham were having a drink, it was nighttime. But later conversations made it seem like the entire episode only took a day. Also: Janet walked with great purpose throughout the episode. But where was she going? She just kept entering and leaving rooms.

Reflection

With only two episodes left, I want to point out a few things so I can say “I told you so!” if they become important in the finale:

Sometimes the shots that are supposed to be from the surveillance camera seem to move more than cameras in ceilings, or located in odd corners, could. In fact, many aspects of this show are extremely “meta”: the opening credits, which flash to an old broadcast screen before getting into the show proper; the fact that the governing conceit is called the “Program”; the reality-TV-like idea of people trapped in a town; the way that the voyeurism of the Program employees is attacked, despite constant reminders that we’re voyeurs, too.

There was a theory floating around, back in those distant days before the finale, that Lost was some sort of consciousness-download self-help video game. In other words, we weren’t watching “reality” (whatever that means in the context of TV), but a simulacrum in which each moment could be progress or backsliding. When people died, they did so because they’d achieved whatever it is they wanted to achieve, and so had “won” the game. [I may be getting parts of this theory wrong. If so, my apologies.]

I keep returning to this idea, the more that I am puzzled by the all the meta-narrative stuff I just mentioned, as well as the way that time behaves oddly on this show, and—most importantly—the fact that I can never figure out what people are supposed to be doing when they’re off camera. Really: where was Janet going with such purpose? Where? I think this is bugging me so much because I can’t tell if it’s intentional or just shoddy story-telling.

I’d hope that Persons Unknown wasn’t going to go to a “it’s all a dream/video game/fictional construct” place, because that always makes me feel cheated. But the title of the last episode (“Shadows in the Cave”), which alludes to Plato’s allegory of the cave, has me wondering.

We’ll find out in just a few days whether that’s relevant. If so, I’ll talk more about Plato then. Yippee.

In the meantime, please enjoy the above picture of the supercute, superquizzical baby seal. Yippee!

Two out of four severed thumbs.

(A big no-prize to whoever correctly tabulates the number of references to fingers and hands in this review.)

Farscape: Exodus from Genesis

While hiding from a Peacekeeper Marauder in a strange debris cloud, Moya is boarded by an alien species intent on completing its reproductive cycle. When the temperature starts rising and Aeryn’s health is threatened, the crew discovers the massive infestation, as well as some uncanny duplicates of themselves.

‘Exodus from Genesis’ is funny, freaky, and gross, while also featuring some serious moments that further develop the relationships amongst Moya’s crew. The focus this week was on Aeryn and her slow but steady transition from detached outsider to respected member of the team --- both from the perspective of the crew and in her own mind. At the beginning, she told Crichton she needed neither friends, nor family, and was clearly upset about getting caught up in “this little mutiny” before she could become a Marauder commando, an elite force vaunted for their discipline and ruthlessness. Even as she’s succumbing to the heat sickness, she can’t fathom why the others on Moya would want to help her. “Why would the others care? My kind imprisoned them. I’m sure they haven’t forgotten.” It takes a brush with the living death to make her truly see that, despite her background, the others do care about her, and there may yet be some value in friends and “lesser life forms.”

Meanwhile, the others are starting to realize that she is more than just a Peacekeeper to them. When John accuses D’Argo of wanting Aeryn to die because of what she is, D’Argo says he sees her as a comrade now and admits that “the part of me that wants Aeryn to live, is greater than the part of me that wants all Peacekeepers to die.” Likewise, after working with Aeryn, Pilot is surprised to discover that he sees her differently than other Peacekeepers. “It is strange to be so close to a Peacekeeper I do not fear.... That, is a compliment.”

‘Exodus …’ also devoted some time to Crichton’s ongoing struggle with his new life and relationships. Just opening the doors is a challenge for him, much less figuring out how to gain D’Argo’s and Aeryn’s respect. As Zhaan tells him, it is going to take actions, time, and patience. I really enjoyed John’s little “therapy sessions” with Zhaan. It was nice to see there’s at least one person on the ship who doesn’t berate and belittle him, and Zhaan is a wonderful listener and advisor.

As they come to terms with their place on the ship, John and Aeryn are also starting to form a deeper relationship. They had some moments of genuine connection in this episode, including the “sickbed” scenes and their final scene on the terrace. I especially loved the look on Crichton’s face as he refused to end her life, and again after she asked him if he could have kept his promise (which, by the way, he never made). He’s certainly developing strong feelings for her, even if at this point it may be nothing more than a “comrade in arms” bond born of shared circumstance.

Other Thoughts

Rygel also continued to build on his progress from last week, by exploring Moya’s walls and “communing” with the Drak monarch on behalf of the crew. “Rygel is not my sovereign.” “He is today.” Sure, at this point he’s mostly being forced into helping and really just doing things that will also save his own bacon, but he’s still slowly becoming a team player.

Zhaan’s role and abilities continued to get fleshed out. She’s a priest, a healer, a counselor, a biological scientist, and a painter! Quite the jack-of-all-trades. And she makes it seem so effortless!

Some of the effects this week were pretty cheesy looking. The baby Drak dance in front of Crichton (and his subsequent fight with it) was so silly it had me laughing out loud. Plus, some of the doubles in the same frame weren’t very effective and the shot of Rygel entering the nest didn’t look great.

Even though some of the effects shots with the Draks were weak, the creatures themselves were shuddery. Like giant cockroaches from hell! I was literally getting the shivers every time we heard them skittering about in Moya’s walls. I really hate roaches.

Several scenes were very reminiscent of Alien and Aliens, particularly Zhaan examining the dead bug, the giant hive, and the birthing of the eggs.

World-building details: the dentic for cleaning one’s teeth; the Marauder commandos (“Five man crew. Highest level of training. Success measured by body count.”); Sebacean heat delirium (“As our cells overheat, the nervous system shuts down. First short-term memory, then motor functions, the last to go is long-term memory.”); and Delvian spirit painting.

Moya’s terrace is pretty darn cool. How awesome would it be to stand on that thing, looking out into the vastness of space?

Quotes

Crichton: “Look, you’re not in this alone. Everybody on board has had their lives derailed from what they thought they were gonna be --- should be. We’re stuck together. And as long as we are, we might as well be …”
Aeryn: “What? Family? Friends? [Laughs.] I want neither.”
Crichton: “Somebody’s gotta be there when you need it.”

Crichton: “With Aeryn and D’Argo, it’s like everything’s a test. It’s like I’m in some never-ending frat hazing at Alien U.”

Zhaan: “John, they’re soldiers. Win their respect.”
Crichton: “Exactly how do you do that? I mean, short of cutting someone’s throat.”

D’Argo: “Sebaceans lack the gland necessary to regulate extreme thermal increases.”
Crichton: “Wait. Crais and those other bastards chasing us are cold-blooded? Literally?”
D’Argo: “It’s a weakness not enough of them die from.”

Crichton: “Sounds like an ugly way to die.”
Aeryn: “We don’t die. Our body lives on in that state. It’s called the living death. It’s the only time we kill our own for mercy.”

Zhaan: “And how will you tell us from them?”
D’Argo: “We will cut off the tip of our small finger for identification.”
Crichton: “How about something a little less permanent?”

Rygel: “It’s hotter than squag! Gah!!!”

Rygel: “If I sit perfectly still they don’t advance. Yet, when I move … they get disagreeable.”
D’Argo: “Right. [Pause.] Don’t move.”
Rygel: “If we ever survive this, Luxan, you must become my advisor.”

Aeryn: “Before the living death takes hold, you have to be prepared to kill me. Promise.”
Crichton: “No, not a chance.”
Aeryn: “You said I’m not alone. A friend would do this for me. Family would do it swiftly.”

Zhaan: “Time and patience.”
Crichton: “Time and patience. Is that your answer for everything?”
Zhaan: “Yes, because it’s always the right answer.”

Aeryn: “You know … I always thought that lesser life forms were useless. Just something to be squashed.”
Crichton: “Yeah, it’s humbling when you realize that … [smiles] You’re not talking about the Draks, are you? [She smiles back.] Fine. Well on behalf of lesser life forms everywhere, I accept the … compliment.”

Final Analysis: The Drak genesis was an interesting sci-fi tale, featuring giant space cockroaches and replicants, but the real meat of this episode is the shifting crew dynamic and character development, especially for Aeryn Sun. Good stuff.

True Blood: I Smell a Rat

Eric: "It's not just the blood. You know you have feelings for me."
Sookie: "Eww."

Eric, Eric, Eric. Can you say 'mixed signals'?

Persons Unknown: Identity

Last week, I vowed to say three positive things about Persons Unknown. Here we go: First, they totally hooked me with the bait-and-switch. B, I enjoy Irish accents. Lastly, I gave my cat a cardboard box with a bath towel folded neatly in it, and he spent the whole episode looking supercute, right next to my couch.

The Bait And Switch: In which Josie reveals that she is not very bright.

Last week, Kat and Renbe showed up in what I assumed was our heroes’ town. I spent the first 40 minutes of this episode operating under that assumption. Kat and Renbe were hiding, the blue-jumpsuit guys were running around, and our people were locked in the hotel and then sedated. It made sense.

Until it didn’t. I was preoccupied (not by the cat…well, not too much) with wondering how Kat and Renbe were staying away from the cameras that seem to be everywhere, so I didn’t look for confirmation that they were in the right town. Even when the blue-jumpsuit guys pulled some dead bodies out of thin air, I still thought they’d brought the bodies themselves and then moved them again. (See above, re: not very bright.) It wasn’t until the massive shoot-out and then the quick cut to Moira and Graham sitting in the gazebo that I finally realized I’d fallen for the bait and was now flopping around on the deck of someone’s yacht, thoroughly gutted.

Well, at first, I thought it was just inept editing. But after rewinding it three times I finally caught on. Why the bait and switch? We needed to keep Renbe and Kat in play. We’ve learned that they’re following the wrong path out of the forest (metaphorically). We’ve learned that the Program has numerous small towns all over the world. We also learned that they’re willing to kill their test subjects, which brings me to:

I Enjoy Irish Accents: In which Josie finds joy in the fact that she’s not important enough to be kidnapped, brainwashed, and forced into submission by an evil unnamed organization.

Liam’s conversation with the director, upon mental review, was quite vague. They talked about Janet, the town, and how sad they were that such drastic measures had to be taken. It wasn’t until later that we found out they weren’t talking about our town. Now we know the stakes…well, I think we’d already guessed the stakes. But now we really know them.

Liam should be a fascinating character, but he’s not. Right now, he’s a walking plot device. He caused trouble for Joe and Janet, in one of those Ebertesque idiot plots in which a key point could be cleared up if people just talked to each other. He sedated everyone for some reason, with some sort of wonder drug. Were they brainwashed during that time? Is that why Blackham is all cheery now? (Wait, he was cheery before the brainwashing…oh, never mind.) Why Janet has gotten over her issues?

By the way, those issues? Liam telling Janet that she’s gotten over them is a prime example of weak storytelling. Whenever one character tells another character how the first character feels, an implication fairy dies. Liam’s newfound obsession with Janet—complete with touching a screen on which her face appears—came out of the blue. Why is he so drawn to her? Why is Joe? Don’t get me wrong, she’s a pretty lady. But she’s not magnetic or extraordinary or covered in dozens of plump breasts. What makes her so appealing to Liam, so suddenly, when he knows what’s on the line?

(Irrelevant question: when you heard Liam Ulrich, did you simultaneously think of Angel, Spike, and the drummer for Metallica?)

Cat in a Box: In which Josie learns to be thankful for the small things, and Marcel Mauss grins wryly, up in heaven.

The Program gave our heroes gifts. Meaningful gifts, sure. But not nearly as pleasant or welcome as a nice cardboard box with a neatly folded bath towel in it. (Because that gift can’t be topped, can it?) The gifts said: “We know you. We’ve known you for decades. We’ve been following you since your childhood traumas.” That’s damn creepy. It also raises a few questions for me: Why would they bother? Why do they have that much money, and why are they willing to spend it this way? Why have they picked these people, and what do they want in return? Why am I still bothering to watch this show?

That last question is inspired by the fact that I have begun to feel simply annoyed by this Program. (Yes, that is a pun.) I cannot imagine why the people who work for them, who have evidently undergone precisely this training, stayed. I cannot imagine what this training is supposed to do. I cannot imagine why they would follow such a ragtag bunch of people, which must require a huge financial outlay. I cannot understand how they justify kidnapping, brainwashing, and killing people, or how they could do so without being discovered for this long.

I’m not sure whether we’ll get answers to all of those questions. “Identity” is the 10th episode. NBC will not air “Seven Sacrifices,” which imdb claims is the 12th episode. (It is available on the NBC website.) Next Saturday, August 28th, NBC will air a “two-hour finale,” which I assume will comprise the 11th (“And Then There Was One”) and 13th (“Shadows in the Cave”) episodes. Or perhaps imdb is wrong, and this order makes sense.

What does that mean for us, constant readers? I will review the three remaining episodes. Look for “Seven Sacrifices” sometime this week, and a longish review of the “And Then There Was One”/”Shadows in the Cave” two-parter next weekend, or perhaps Monday if I’m feeling lazy and the LA heat wave doesn’t break. I will assuredly riff on Agatha Christie, Plato, and the troubling camera angles in this show. In fact, it might be time for me to dig out my never-published 2000 word post on Plato and the Lost finale.


One out of four cats chasing a Mauss. (Hopefully this show will come together with all the surprising elegance of that delayed punchline.)

(Once again, I have been unable to find a decent screencap for the show. So, in keeping with the pre-established unbearably cute animals hugging theme, I chose the supercutest cat photo I could find.)

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 4: Librarianship

Willow: "Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog."

Rupert Giles wasn't just a Watcher and a hero who saved the world on many occasions. He was a librarian, and so beloved of much of the library community that he and Buffy made the cover of American Libraries (see below). Yes, the Sunnydale High library wasn't much of one; it was basically Giles' demonic reference collection and a place for the Scoobies to hang out, regroup, and plan how to eliminate the latest scourge of Sunnydale evil. But the library was my absolute favorite Buffy set. (Although I kept wanting straighten all of the books so that the call number labels were at the bottom where they belonged.)

Star Trek: Errand of Mercy

Kor: "I don't trust men who smile too much."

And we have Klingons!

Moonlight: The Mortal Cure

Coraline: "I think Beth is starting to like me. She didn't stab me this time."

Gotta love a flashback re-writing the entire French Revolution. It's over the top, but you know, it actually makes story sense. A vampire genocide explains why there aren't vampires everywhere. Coraline being royalty explains her arrogance and sense of entitlement. And the guillotine explains why a mortal cure exists at all. But why does Coraline's nasty brother Lance even care that she took the compound? Are they expecting another vampire genocide in this day and age?

NewsFlash: Smallville news

You know, I've been going back and forth about Smallville for a couple of years now. The elimination of my two favorite characters, Lex and Lionel Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum and John Glover) took all the juice out of the show for me. I've kept watching, but I just didn't want to write about it any more. And I was sort of relieved when it was announced that season ten would be Smallville's last. The story has been dragging on when it should have been wrapped up in a cape a couple of years ago.

My point? Well, the last few announcements about season ten guest stars (James Marsters, John Schneider, Laura Vandervoort, Michael Shanks) have made me think the final season might be going big. And now we've gotten nearly the best casting news possible -- John Glover will be returning, too. And not just for a one-shot -- for "multiple episodes".

The only thing that could make me happier than John Glover's return is if Michael Rosenbaum would relent and come back, too. Lex's struggle with darkness was the reason I got into Smallville in the first place. Come on, Lex. Couldn't you take just one more curtain call?

All these returns make me think I might review the final season of Smallville after all. What do you think?

Farscape: I, E.T.

‘I, E.T.’ finds Moya’s new crew dealing with a Peacekeeper failsafe device that broadcasts a Leviathan’s location if it somehow manages to escape its control collar. To muffle the signal, Crichton suggests that Moya land on a nearby planet and submerge herself in a bog. The crew must then work together to locate an anesthetic for Moya and to disable the beacon without killing her. Along the way, Crichton inadvertently makes “first contact” with the planet’s natives and finds himself in the unaccustomed role of being the alien interloper.

The second episode out of the gate is not one of the series’ stronger episodes, which I suppose is why it was aired much later during the original run. Although it’s second in the production order and appears as the second episode on the complete DVD set, ‘I, E.T.’ was originally aired as the seventh episode. This may have been a bit confusing at the time, because the triggering of the locator beacon certainly seems like an event that would occur relatively soon after the control collar was removed. Moreover, some of the dialog and the nature of the character interactions clearly seem as though the crew is “new to all this escaped prisoner crap.” But I guess when you are trying to attract new viewers, you want to put your best (or at least better) foot forward.

The “Crichton meets the natives” material was the weakest part of the story. It was kind of interesting to have Crichton experience being the alien on a world so much like Earth, but this part of the plot just wasn’t that compelling, despite some fun nods to E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. At least I got a good chuckle out of Crichton’s reaction to being stunned. “Why can’t I move? I can’t feel my body. Oh my bones are … I’m gonna recover from this, right?! Completely, right?!!”

On the other hand, the “helping Moya” parts of the story were fairly engaging and provided some nice insight into several characters and their capabilities. The beats with Rygel, Zhaan, and Aeryn (in various combinations) were particularly intriguing. We got to see several new sides to Rygel, including sheer terror at being suffocated in mud and his fear about his own limitations. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve always had others to do for me. Even in prison, I … [deep sigh]. I don’t even know how to hold a tool.” He managed to put his fear aside with Zhaan’s help, and came through for Moya in the end, but in the interim, we also got a disturbing glimpse at what a nasty little piece of work he can be. The level of violence and aggression in his attack on Aeryn was shocking and rather gross. When he spit out that chunk of her arm, both my husband and I simultaneously exclaimed, “Ewww!!!” Yet, for all it showed us about Rygel’s own nature, the hostility in the attack also reflected just how reviled the Peacekeepers are. At least by their prisoners.

We also got to see some deeper shades of Zhaan’s personality. Beneath that peaceful and empathetic exterior lies some serious steel. I was impressed not only with her willingness and ability to share as much of Moya’s pain as possible, but with her reaction to Rygel’s attack on Aeryn. The way she quickly restrained Aeryn and firmly said, “Wait outside. Please. Let me,” provided the briefest glimpse of the hard and scary woman at her core.

Other Thoughts

The title sequence got a “saga sell” this week: “My name is John Crichton. An astronaut. A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe, on a ship, a living ship, full of strange, alien life forms. Help. Listen, please. Is anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. I’m doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.”

We got our first fake swear word: hazmata, which means “hell”, as in “Where the hazmata is that siren coming from?” “Sounds like from inside my head. What the hazmata is it?”

Why was Rygel so surprised they were sinking in the mud? That was the whole idea, right?

I found Zhaan’s exchange with Pilot regarding what happens to Leviathans when they are captured very interesting, particularly in retrospect. “Pilot, how did the Peacekeepers ever get such a device aboard without you or Moya knowing about it?” “I … thought I had discovered all they had done to Moya. Obviously I had not.”

D’Argo and Aeryn sitting in the tree was pretty funny. ““If I was still a Peacekeeper would I be sitting on this planet, next to you?” It provided some interesting world-building tidbits regarding Luxan battle strategy and their history, and showed D’Argo and Aeryn they can agree on at least one thing: Crichton’s primitive nature. “No interplanetary travel. Retrograde technology. Fossil fuel burning ground vehicles. He is a savage.”

It really bugged me that the natives could understand Crichton. Why would they have translator microbes if they thought they were alone in the Universe? How would they have them? It was pretty clear from the ‘Premiere’ that Crichton couldn’t understand D’Argo and Zhaan until he got the microbes. So Lyneea and Fostro shouldn’t have been able to understand Crichton, Pilot, or D’Argo.

Funny world-building detail: “This is a tokar knife! Do you know what ceremony young Luxan males use this for, on themselves, at that certain age?”

Editing error? When Rygel is yelling at Zhaan to wake up, her eyes look open but clouded over. But then when she’s coming to, it looks like they’ve been closed the whole time.

Quotes

Crichton: “The sound frequency is doing something to my eye. Feels like it’s melting my brain. [Pause.] Couldn’t actually be doing something to my brain, could it?”

Crichton: “Well, if she can’t, she can’t. We can stick our heads between our legs and kiss our asses goodbye.” [Puzzled looks.] “It’s a saying.”

Rygel: “Oh no. You covered me in mud because I had no say. But in this I have a say. And I say, no. Get someone else to do your dirty work.”

Crichton: “… those Peacekeepers you’re so concerned about? They’d kill you right now. The Peacekeepers---”
Aeryn: “Turned on me for speaking up for you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Crichton: “Well, back home we call it being ‘stand up.’”
Aeryn: “Well, I stood up. And I no longer have a home.”
Crichton: “Well, join the club.”

Lyneea: “… I mean, in one flash ---“
Crichton: “You’ve learned that you’re not alone in the Universe. That interstellar space travel’s possible. That a zillion of your empirical facts about science, religion are wrong, or completely suspect. I do understand.”

Aeryn: “Your greatest fear will come to pass, Hynerian. Some day you will die at the hands of a Peacekeeper.”

Aeryn: “Are you laughing at me?”
Zhaan: “No. No, my dear, I’m not laughing. You just seemed very briefly to be concerned for me.”
Aeryn: “I’m concerned only that you’re able to complete your undertaking to share Moya’s pain.”
Zhaan: “Yes, of course.”

Rygel: “I did it. I did it! I DID IT!!!”

Aeryn: “Don’t tell me you’re gonna miss that rock.”
Crichton: “No, not that rock.”

Final Analysis: The first regular episode after the premiere certainly isn’t the strongest effort, but it does have some funny bits and some good character development.

Star Trek: The Devil in the Dark

Vanderberg: "That thing has killed fifty of my men."
Kirk: "And you've killed thousands of her children."

Like "The Corbomite Maneuver", "The Devil in the Dark" fits beautifully into the core message of Star Trek: compassion for and acceptance of other beings, even if they happen to be acid-spraying rock creatures.

Warehouse 13: Season 2, Part 1

I was planning to do a single “season post-mortem” for the second season of Warehouse 13, similar to what I put together for Season 1. However, I’ve been jotting down my thoughts for each episode as the season airs and decided it might be better to do two half-season posts. This post covers the first six episodes of Season 2.

Overall, I’ve been enjoying Season 2 thus far. They haven’t really stepped up their game with the overall mythology arc or with the artifact-of-the-week plots, but they’ve expanded the Warehouse world a bit more and the team dynamic is really clicking. Most weeks, I love just spending an hour watching the characters bounce off each other, even if the artifact is somewhat lacking. The primary Warehouse team has really become a wonderful family unit. Artie’s the crotchety dad, Myka is the "responsible" and uptight older sister, and Pete and Claudia are the goofy and free-spirited younger siblings. I hope they stick with this dynamic, because I really enjoy the “close siblings" relationship that's formed between Myka and Pete. It would be more typical to go down the unresolved sexual tension route with the two leads, but I think their current vibe plays much better than a sad attempt at a romantic connection would (witness the disastrous attempt to give Claudia a love life).

As for the mythology arc, MacPherson was fun while he lasted, but I wasn’t sad to see him go. I’m intrigued by the introduction of H.G. Wells and think her steampunk aesthetic is a perfect fit for the show. I have no idea what she’s up to, but I’m curious to see where they go with it. Hopefully, they’ll bring her back into the story soon.

On to some thoughts on individual episodes …

Time Will Tell: This one was kind of a chaotic jumble for me. Too much jetting around from place to place and jumping from lead to lead. I found it a bit difficult to follow and was getting rather annoyed by the noisy title cards announcing each new destination. Plus, the ease with which everyone was able to get into and out of CERN was disturbing and not at all believable. I’m all for suspension of disbelief, but this was stretching it a bit far. I’m very perplexed about MacPherson’s endgame with H.G. Wells. Did he have some nefarious master plan, or did he just want a new artifact-hunting buddy? I do really like the twist that the renowned author is a woman, and I’m digging her steampunk toys. I look forward to this plot coming together in a more coherent way in the future.

Mild Mannered: I think no matter what they did with this episode, some part of me was going to love it because it reunited Sean Maher and Jewel Staite (Firefly). Seeing Simon and Kaylee together again was such a delight! I did end up enjoying the Iron Shadow plot, especially Pete’s excessive fanboy delight and Myka’s shiny form-fitting superhero getup. (Although I found it rather hilarious that Seymour and Loretta were so disturbed about the “recent” decline in the quality of their neighborhood. Did they just suddenly realize they live in Detroit? Hello!) It was also good to see the episode spend some time on the lingering consequences of MacPherson’s machinations for Claudia, Leena, and Artie.

Other Bits --- I really enjoy the quirky Claudia-speak; it tends to spice up any scene she’s in. “Irresistible force? Say Ni Hao, Immovable Object!” (I’m gonna start using this one in everyday conversation.)

I thought it was pretty obvious that Myka’s middle initial stood for ‘Ophelia.’ Her parents are literary after all.

Beyond Our Control: My primary reaction to this episode is that Pete and Myka talk over each other WAY too much and it drives me insane! Shut up, then speak one at a time, damn it! The bizarre movie projector artifact didn’t do much for me, but I enjoyed watching our four main characters tackle the problem together. Just a fun time. Looks like Pete and Claudia are getting love interests. I kind of like Todd, but the veterinarian is rather abrasive. The B-plot with Leena, Mrs. Frederic, Mark Sheppard, and The Pearl felt like filler. Did we really learn anything new about MacPherson’s plans? When is H.G. Wells going to make a return appearance?

Age Before Beauty: I really liked this one. The A- and B-plots were only loosely connected, but I liked the character interactions in both. Initially, I was rather put off by the “world of high fashion” setting, as it was fairly obvious that Myka would end up posing as a model. But I actually enjoyed where they went with it. I honestly had no idea what the artifact was or why it was being used until the reveal. Very clever use of the notion that a camera can capture your soul. The coda with the bad guy doing it to impress a model was a bit silly, but I liked that it turned out he was an old buddy of the camera’s creator (literally). My favorite parts of the episode were the Artie-Claudia “father figure” interactions, and Pete’s confidence boosting speech to Myka. Even though it struck me as patently ridiculous that a woman as gorgeous as Joanne Kelly wouldn’t know just how gorgeous she is, they still played the moment nicely and it was great to see that kind of partner-bonding beat. They’ve been going for the silly-playful beats lately, and I liked the change up.

Other Bits --- The running joke about Myka being fat was infuriating. This kind of thinking is exactly what leads to self-esteem issues and eating disorders! At least, she got to stand up for herself and tell everyone off. “I am not fat!”

13.1: I didn’t even think to jot down thoughts on this one until after the next episode had aired, so I guess I didn’t really care for it that much. I was particularly bothered by the excessive focus on Claudia’s romantic exploits. I love Claudia, but her ooey-gooey interactions with Todd and Fargo just made me roll my eyes or gag. That said, I did kind of enjoy the crossover concept, and the zoetrope was a pretty nifty artifact. It makes perfect sense to me that Eureka and Warehouse 13 would be part of the same ‘verse. And while I don’t believe they would send the head of Global Dynamics to do a network upgrade, I did love Fargo’s maintenance bots. I burst out laughing when they unexpectedly started shooting fire! I also really enjoyed seeing Rene Auberjonois. The hair and officious mustache for Hugo One were hilarious, and I loved Hugo's distress over his aged body after he was reintegrated. “What the hell is this?”

Around the Bend: Now, this one I liked. I always enjoy an episode that allows us to explore our characters in a more serious manner, and this one had some pretty strong material for Pete. I really had no clue what was happening to him until Myka and Artie figured it out. My husband and I suspected he was talking to himself at the café because of the look on the waitress’s face, but we also thought maybe she was one of the Regents keeping tabs on him. I particularly liked the sequence when Myka thought Pete was drinking again and they all staged a mini intervention. Eddie McClintock was really strong in that scene. I had actually forgotten Pete is an alcoholic and was glad they mentioned it in the “previously on” intro. I also enjoyed the minor B-plot with Claudia’s distress over the “termination list.”

Other Bits --- I loved Myka’s exasperation with Pete’s museum behavior and her griping to Artie that it’s a victory if Pete doesn’t lick anything when on assignment. Pete’s reaction to the video footage of him making out with the air was pretty hilarious, too.

Tia Carrere is looking mighty fine these days. Anyone remember her as Wayne’s hot girlfriend Cassandra from Wayne’s World? She’s still got it.

Mark Sheppard got more to do this week, but I still feel like he’s not being used to his full snarky potential on this series.

That's all for now. Check back in for Part 2 after the season finale!

True Blood: Everything is Broken

Russell: "We want to eat you. After we eat your children. Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?"

This episode didn't speed up and overtake me until the end, when Russell burst onto the television scene with a piece of newscaster's spine in his hand. I thought the urn-o-Talbot was absolutely hilarious, too. No dissing of the previous villains intended, but Russell has become my favorite True Blood villain, ever.

Farscape: Premiere

Meet Commander John Crichton. Crichton is an Earth astronaut who gets hit by an electromagnetic wave while testing his own theory that it is possible to overcome atmospheric friction and use a planet’s gravity to slingshot away at exponentially higher speeds. Said wave turns out to be a wormhole that hurtles him to the far side of the Universe and deposits him in the middle of an attempted prison break. Much to his and our amazement, he soon finds himself onboard a living ship with a diverse group of hostile aliens who are trying to escape an interstellar “peacekeeper” force. He’s threatened, probed, insulted, beat down several times, and imprisoned, but after discovering he accidentally killed a Peacekeeper commander’s brother, Crichton soon comes to realize that he’s better off joining the escaped prisoners in the uncharted corners of the Universe. And thus begins Farscape ...

I’ve always remembered Farscape as one of those shows I love that had a subpar pilot episode. But, even though ‘Premiere’ is a bit clunky at times, overall it is actually a pretty effective pilot. It defines this strange new world, gives us a pretty good introduction to the main characters, and clearly establishes the basic premise and the situation going forward. It was action-packed and exhilarating, and gives us an instantly likeable hero in John Crichton.

Ben Browder is simply wonderful as Crichton. In addition to being very easy on the eyes, he brings such a genuine and relatable quality to a character in an incredible situation. He is fully able to fully convey the terror, confusion, and wonder of Crichton’s predicament. I love his look of almost giddy joy when he first sees D’Argo and Zhaan on Moya’s bridge, as well as his befuddlement and outrage when Rygel spits on him. “What is the matter with you ... people?!” He can also can deliver borderline cheesy dialogue like “It’s not who you are, Dad. I love who you are. It’s being son of who you are ...” with such ease and believability that you can’t help but like the guy. Plus, Ben’s got some serious comic chops.

The show also gives us a pretty dynamic array of aliens, including Officer Aeryn Sun, a pilot and infantry soldier from the human-looking Peacekeepers; Ka D’Argo, a tall and tentacled Luxan warrior; Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan, a bald and blue Delvian priestess; Dominar Rygel XVI, a deposed Hynerian royal who’s sort of a cross between Yoda and a slug; Moya, a Leviathan, or living ship; and her Pilot, who’s like a hybrid of a crab, a spider, and a turtle. Rygel and Pilot are animatronic puppets from Jim Henson’s creature shop. I may be biased, as a fan of The Dark Crystal and The Muppet Show, but I think Jim Henson’s people do superlative puppetry work, creating fully believable characters. Rygel and Pilot feel like real and equal characters from the get go. Rygel, in particular, is a fantastic little “slug” with incredibly expressive eyes. I love the final look he gives Crichton as he delivers his “Are you a sound sleeper?” line before chuckling and zipping away at the end of the episode.

My least favorite part of ‘Premiere’ is probably the stuff on Earth before the wormhole accident. It felt rather slow and clunky, with dialogue that was a bit cheesy and predictable. Once Crichton emerges from the wormhole, however, things kick into overdrive. The story really goes from “ho hum” to wide-eyed wonder and amazement. Even the slow moments like Zhaan and D’Argo getting acquainted --- painfully awkward semi-flirting, notwithstanding --- help to define the characters and build the world. And I can even accept the somewhat tired plot device of Crais unjustly persecuting Crichton over his brother’s very clear accidental death, because it is the necessary evil that forces Crichton and Aeryn to go on the run with Moya and her crew.

Other Thoughts

For some reason, I really like that the first episode is called ‘Premiere’ instead of ‘Pilot.’

When re-watching, I was really impressed with the special effects. They’ve held up pretty well. They may not be as clean as the effects on the new Battlestar Galactica, but they also don’t look as dated as the Babylon 5 special effects. Ultimately, it is the sets, costumes, makeup, and Henson creatures that really sell this world, but the CGI effects aren’t too shabby either.

The theme music, on the other hand, is some of the craziest I’ve ever heard. I love how it opens with the drums and male chanting, but then the dissonant, high-pitched female voices start and the whole thing becomes insanely over the top!

Crichton works for ‘I.A.S.A.’ Is that the “International” Aeronautics and Space Administration? Crichton’s module and uniform have United States markings, and the test launch is being run out of Cape Canaveral. So where does the “International” part come in?

Crichton and Aeryn have quite the “meet cute,” when she kicks his ass, then straddles him and demands to know his rank and regiment. Despite that very sexually charged position, I’m not detecting a whole lot of sexual tension between them at this point. She doesn’t seem interested in him in the slightest, and his insistence on bringing her back to Moya seems more motivated by concern or guilt than by attraction. He simply doesn’t want her to lose her life for attempting to defend him to Crais (even if she did so by denigrating his bravery and intelligence).

I had completely forgotten about Rygel’s gas issue. What an unexpectedly hilarious scene!

[All in high-pitched voices.]
Rygel: “It’s a perfectly natural bodily function. And it’s odorless.”
D’Argo: “So you’re loyal subjects tell you.”
Crichton: “You fart helium?!”
Rygel: “Sometimes. When I’m nervous. Or angry.”

I also completely forgot about the DRD’s. How the heck could I forget about the DRD’s? I love the sound they make and the scene in which Crichton fixes the broken antenna on the one he first encounters. It’s going to be fun experiencing this series all over again!

D’Argo’s tongue maneuver is awesome!

Some world-building notes: translator microbes are an excellent device to explain why everyone can understand each other; those food cubes looked seriously unappetizing; the Peacekeeper commandos in full gear remind me of the Kull warriors from the Stargate universe.

I was amused when they tapped into alien abduction lore by having Crichton wake up naked and Rygel telling him they “examined” him while he was unconscious.

It's kind of surprising that Zhaan’s, D’Argo’s, and Rygel’s possessions were still around. They’ve all been in custody a long time. Zhaan and D’Argo did time in a forced labor camp since their incarceration. Why would the Peacekeepers even hold on to the possessions of prisoners, especially ones bound for a lifers colony?

I was amused by John’s complete awe at standing on what he clearly thought was an amazing alien planet, followed by Aeryn calling it a “waste hole of a planet.” Eye of the beholder and all that.

I loved that Crichton got to prove his atmospheric friction theory with Moya. It made for a very exciting escape sequence, and the visual of Moya streaking across the atmosphere was impressive.

Quotes

Crichton’s Dad: “Each man gets a chance to be his own kind of hero.”
Ugh! So cheesy and portentous.

Crichton: “Oh please, let it all be a dream. A very bad, very ... twisted dream.”

Zhaan: “It’s time for us to eat.”
Crichton (nervously): “Eat what?”

D’Argo (re: Crichton): “This one is some kind of higher brain function deficient.”

Crichton: “Boy, was Spielberg ever wrong. Close Encounters, my ass.”

Aeryn: “Compassion? What is compassion?”

Crichton: “Yeah, well how do I know I can trust you?”
Aeryn: “You don’t. That’s just another thing you don’t know.”

Aeryn: “Sir, he claims to be a human, from a planet called Earp.”

Aeryn: “... I believe him when he says that what happened to your brother was an accident. I don’t believe that he is brave enough or intelligent enough to attack one of our prowlers intentionally.”

Crichton: “Don’t move! Or I’ll fill you full of … little yellow bolts of light.”

D’Argo: “Now unlock me!”
Aeryn: “No! He is a criminal!”
Crichton: “We all are.”

Aeryn: “No. I will not come with you.”
Crichton: “You’ve been irreversibly contaminated. Remember?”
D’Argo: “It means death.”
Aeryn: “It is my duty, my breeding. Since birth! It’s what I am.”
Crichton: “You can be more.”

Aeryn: “Crais thinks you killed his brother. In such a case, would you obey jurisdictional boundaries?”

Crichton (to tape recorder): “And there’s life out here, Dad. Weird, amazing, ... psychotic life. And death. In Technicolor.”

Final Analysis: A pretty solid pilot episode, which effectively introduces the characters, the world, and the basic premise. It certainly left me wanting to see what would come next.

Vampire Diaries: Miss Mystic Falls

“He’ll do anything; he’ll say anything—because he’s not going to want to stop.”

It’s not easy being a Southern belle. In addition to the whole steel magnolia, iron-fist, velvet-glove thing, you have all the weight of generations upon generations of Southern belles behind you. And the men-folk have their own pasts to contend with.

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 3: Fashion

Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."

This will probably shock you, but I'm not into fashion. I don't know what looks good, and I really don't care. If it's clean and it fits and it's reasonably presentable and doesn't require high heels, I'm there. I'm season one Willow with the softer side of Sears. Well, maybe not that bad, but I'm probably the polar opposite of Lady Gaga.

Star Trek: This Side of Paradise

Spock: "For the first time in my life, I was happy."

At this point in the series, the producers had become aware that Leonard Nimoy had a serious following, much of which was female. So of course, it was time to start writing romantic situations around him. This may have been the best one, even if it did combine elements of "The Naked Time", "Shore Leave", and "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"

Moonlight: Love Lasts Forever

“At the end of the day, not a lot separates life and death.”

A rather foolishly contrived plot of the week brought us some great emotional revelations, and even some risky storytelling devices. Moonlight probably would have been a great show if it had been given the chance: Sophia Myles was incredible.

NewsFlash: Lost Auction

There will be an auction of Lost series props in Santa Monica, California, August 21 and 22. (See Profiles in History. Photo credits are also to Profiles in History.)

I spent six years writing about Lost, and this auction is going to take place about a ten minute drive from my apartment. I'm not going. And not just because a ticket costs $65.

The X-Files: The Erlenmeyer Flask

Case: The apparent demise of a mystery man in a silver Cutlass Ciera following a high-speed chase with police.
Destination: Washington, DC and Gaithersburg, Maryland

‘The Erlenmeyer Flask’ begins with a high-octane car chase, a police beat down, a shooting, a plunge into the harbor, and green blood. And things only get more intense from there. When Deep Throat brings the case of the man in the silver Ciera to Mulder’s and Scully’s attention, the agents are left questioning what exactly it is they are supposed to be looking for and how far they can trust their cryptic and cagey source.

Sherlock: The Great Game

Moriarty: “Twelve hours to solve my puzzle, Sherlock. Or I'm going to be so naughty.”

If last week's episode had a weakness, it was the puzzling absence of some of the show's major characters. Lestrade was inexplicably AWOL. Moriarty was reduced to a faceless cameo. Even Mycroft was conspicuous by his absence. So it was only fitting that tonight's episode attempt to redress the balance by bringing them all together in one story. Well, in reality it was five stories. But tonight saw Holmes' unique talents stretched to the limit. And, finally, we got to see Moriarty step out of the shadows and face his arch-nemesis.

Star Trek: A Taste of Armageddon

Anan 7: "We have been at war for five hundred years."
Kirk: "You conceal it very well."

This one was interesting. Here we had a culture that wanted to continue waging war so much that they turned it into a computer game -- but with real casualties. A nice, clean conflict that could go on forever. Would you like to play a game?

True Blood: Night on the Sun

Sookie: "If I knew what was best for me, I would have fallen in love with somebody like you."
Alcide: "Back atcha. It's too bad we're so stupid, huh?"

Now, Eric. Was that fair? What did Talbot ever do to you?

Moonlight: Sleeping Beauty

Josef: "She never came out of it. She got lost somewhere in between."

This episode did two cool things: it gave Josef a seriously romantic backstory, and it gave Mick a damned good reason to never turn Beth.

Persons Unknown: Static

“Re-integrate yourself into the scenario.”

The Night Manager has the equivalent of a button. It rings and he has to call in to an Irish Pierre Chang, who then connects the call to Ms. Alvar Hanso. The revelation that the Program is not Scientology, but rather the Dharma Initiative does—finally—explain everything. Renbe and Kat, locked in the polar bear cages, will surely make out soon. And I can’t wait to see Michael Emerson again, as I miss his droll delivery.

If you’re not watching Persons Unknown, that paragraph probably didn’t make any sense. But if you’re one of the ever-more selective group of watchers (ahem), then hopefully you agree: some aspects of this show are remarkable reductive. Joe, playing the role of Mr. Clean, even seems destined for some important role in the Island’s…oh, whatever.

When Evil Program Sub-Director Liam Ulrich appeared on screen, I said out loud (to no one, which was a bit pathetic) “I’ll bet he’s British!” I was wrong—he’s Irish—but that distinction doesn’t matter much stateside, where I recently had to tell a friend (who has her PhD) that Ireland and England are not on the same island. ("Are you sure?" she asked.) What does matter is that insular Europeans are evil. With their accents and their tea and calling cookies “biscuits,” and biscuits, “scones.”

Some Americans are evil, too. The Director is a good example. She’s so evil that she doesn’t even wait for her assistant to take the cup of tea away (see? Evil tea!). She’s also a bitch. In fact, everyone who works for the program seems to be really mean. Why would anyone work for them? It’s all bluster and “OMG! I’m so important! Let’s kill a priest!”

So Joe’s approaching level-10 potential? How, and why, does that matter in the larger scheme of things? And on what are they basing this assessment? The ease with which he was re-programmed indicates an extraordinary mental weakness. I can’t imagine it’s difficult to find mentally weak people, so why is he special?

The Night Manager really got the short end of the tea-stirrer this week. He offered Joe some tea (I assume this is not evil tea, just morally ambiguous tea) and got beaten up for his concern. He also got reamed by the evil Irishman and dismissed by the bitchy American woman. I hope they’re paying him a lot, and that he’s not dead. (I think he’s dead.) Because, again, I have to ask: why on earth is he working for these people?

Speaking of impossible things: this Program seems a bit top-heavy. There were easily two dozen people working in the Evil Hub, all staring at screens, probably all drinking tea. But there were only three agents (Joe, Restaurant Guy, and Night Manager) assigned to the in-town scenario? And they had the entire time of Joe’s re-programming to set up his “replacement,” but failed to do so? What are those two dozen people staring at screens doing, if not that? Checking their facebook accounts?

I still don’t trust Renbe. He’s gone from random newspaper guy who sleeps with his editor to Janet’s violent ex-husband to concerned father who professes his love for that same editor. We’ll learn more about him when confronts Janet, which I assume will happen in the next episode, since Renbe and Kat just stumbled on the town.

Bits and Pieces:

• I forgot to set my DVR to record this episode (sometimes my subconscious has a mind of its own), so I watched it online. There were no subtitles for the Spanish, but it was happily slow enough for me to understand it this week. That was nice. Thank you, Spanish-speaking actors.

• Persons Unknown is being pre-empted by gymnastics next week. It will return on August 21st.

I remain completely confused. I feel like there must be something I’m missing, something that points towards all of this coming together. There must be something going on behind the scenes. There must be some activity that the characters engage in (reading, perhaps?) when they’re off-screen. There must be more to the Program beyond self-aggrandizing cattiness. Right?

One out of four cups of tea