Chuck: Chuck versus the Suitcase

“Chuck, beautiful women have a lot of baggage. You should be happy Walker’s just a suitcase.”

Last week’s episode wasn’t the best episode ever. Not bad, just not stellar. But Chuck’s second entry had everything I hope for in a great Chuck episode: a glitzy, funny mission; a wacky McGuffin; and not one, not two, but three emotional arcs. I even loved the BuyMore antics. And they all tied together in a beautiful, sequin-covered, funny package.


Chuck and Sarah were hilarious working together, without Casey, and with only one flash. Even though Chuck sometimes brings way too much of his own baggage to their missions, they did a fabulous job, as even General Beckman was willing to admit. I particularly enjoyed that the writers didn’t just fall back on the jealous-girlfriend trope: Sarah was genuinely worried that Chuck was starting to have concerns about her lack of rootedness. This neatly resolved in 42 minutes, but there was a bit of tension here (even though it’s nice to see that Chuck has moved beyond the will-they-or-won’t-they plot). Chuck may be more willing to settle down than Sarah is, and that could provide some wacky hi-jinks later down the road.

Casey is struggling with settling down as well. Even though he feels at home—well, as at home as that cave in Afghanistan—he hasn’t really set down roots in Burbank. (Insert bonsai tree joke here.) But he’s starting to connect with Alex, which means that hilarity will ensue when Morgan and Alex start to have some off-hours fun. (That’s just a guess, not a spoiler. I avoid spoilers.) At least Morgan is an even better catch than before, what with his new managerial responsibilities and flashy nametag.

The arc that really got me is Ellie and her mother. Ellie talks a tough game to Awesome, but Chuck knows the truth: Ellie misses her mom, no matter how many problems there may be in their relationship, and no matter that Mama B wasn’t there to help raise Chuck. Did you notice that most of the pictures Ellie looked at were of Chuck with his parents, not her? Ellie’s relationship with her mom is about her own nascent motherhood, her relationship with Chuck, her relationship with Scott Bakula. Mothers and daughters, dude. Mothers and daughters and Scott Bakula, I’m tellin’ ya.

But enough with the deep emotional stuff: Jeff and Lester are back and better than ever. (Except that I might boycott if I have to see Jeff’s chest ever again.) And, just like last season’s Chuck versus the Three Words, this episode tied in with this week’s Gossip Girl, which also featured a fashion theme (Fashion’s Night Out) and an awesome catfight (between Serena and Blair).

Speaking of that catfight: no, I won’t. Just watch it and watch it again. Fabulous!


Bytes: (This list was originally two kilometers long, but in the name of all that is holy and American, I cut it down to mere inches.)

• General Beckman: “Colonel Casey, after the Yves Saint Laurent incident, you will obviously have to sit this one out.”
Casey: “Stab one guy with a stiletto…”

• Morgan: “Lots of things you can do with a Roomba.” This reminded me of “Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.”

• Sarah: “Chuck, if we hadn’t stopped that bomb, your last words to me would have been about my weird unpacking thing.”

• Chuck: “Hey, Spiderman kiss?” There was a Spiderman kiss in The O.C., too.

• Lester: “We’ve been taking gigs at the Whisper Lounge in exchange for scraps of tapas.”

• Jeff: “We live here now, in the wild, with my van.”

• Lester: “It’s not all bad. I’ve been expanding my understanding of the universal mind. Jeff has a new pet rock named Bruce. I asked him why ‘Bruce,’ and he said it’s because when he hits it, it doesn’t ‘bruce.’”

• Jeff: “My water just broke.”

• Jeff: “Is there room in that womb for two?” Ugh. And again: ugh.

And Pieces:

• Zachary Levi has an odd was of pronouncing “Achilles.”

• This week’s Greta was hilarious. As were the acrobatic CIA/BuyMore employees.

• Hey…smart bullets, Achilles’ heels, tiny targeted areas that require an ace shot…symbolism?

• And Lou Ferrigno? Perfect. Just perfect.

• I hope Chuck and Morgan removed the tranq darts from Jeff and Lester before dragging them on the ground. Ouch!

• Ellie looked pretty in the flowered dress, but it didn’t fit her character.

Four out of four sequins.

Warehouse 13: Season 2, Part 2

After a relatively mythology-lite first six episodes, Warehouse 13 brought the elusive H.G. Wells and her mysterious agenda back in full force for the back half of the season. The question now is, was she worth the wait? I’m a bit torn on this one. I kind of enjoyed pondering the mystery of Wells’ true motives, but it seemed rather clear that she was always hiding some nefarious purpose, so her “shocking” betrayal at the end of ‘Buried’ was more of an “I knew it!” moment for me than an “OMG!” one. Moreover, her endgame turned out to be fairly underwhelming. Basically, it boiled down to Wells knew the whereabouts of the original weapon of mass destruction, and MacPherson wanted it to sell to the highest bidder. After she killed him and discovered the world was in worse shape than when she left it, she decided to vent her rage and anger over her deceased child by destroying humanity. Really?

It seems strange to say that I found an intricate plan to annihilate the entire world rather ho hum, but quite frankly I think the writing team overreached. They tried to go for epic, “Save the World!” drama, when what they really excel at is more personal stories. Witness the tale of Jack and Rebecca in ‘Where and When,’ or the carefully cultivated father-daughter relationship between Claudia and Artie, or even Claudia’s very personal reaction to learning she’s destined to be the Warehouse caretaker in ‘Buried.’ In this case, they tried to make the story personal by building up Wells’ grief over her daughter’s murder, but she never really felt like part of the team to me, so I was relatively unmoved by her pain. (Plus, the special effects crew just isn’t up to the challenge of “epic.” The less said about the terrible “desert sands” backdrops, the better.) So ultimately, the mytharc felt like it amounted to a whole lot of nothing.

Other than the personal fallout for Myka, that is. Certainly, Myka’s decision in the finale has a huge impact on the series going forward. I have no idea if Joanne Kelly is leaving the series, or if this is one of those “false jeopardy” cliffhangers set up to create tension during the break, which will ultimately be resolved in the first episode or two. I hope that Myka will be back, because I’ve become quite invested in the Warehouse family and I absolutely hate to see that dynamic ruined. They need big sister Myka! That said, this turn of events makes perfect sense for the character and feels like huge payoff for my endless frustration with her for buying into H.G.’s story in the first place.

Myka’s blind spot when it came to H.G. was the issue that got me most riled up during the last six episodes. I just could not understand why Myka, of all people, couldn’t see through her manipulations. Myka is infamous for her attention to detail, but that doesn’t mean she has absolutely no instincts. She’s a smart cookie, and I think she largely understands people, as evidenced by her numerous interactions with Pete, Claudia, and Artie. So why did she believe H.G. so fervently that she actively advocated for her to return to the Warehouse? Was it some kind of “fellow female warehouse agent” empathy? We never got a good answer to this question, and it’s clear that even Myka doesn’t understand how she got so completely blindsided. How could she not be constantly second guessing herself at this point? I’m really not sure how the team is going to get her past this colossal fail and back into action.

On to the individual episode commentary, most of which was written as the episodes aired ...

For the Team: This one had a really gross teaser followed by lots of fun team interactions. I really enjoyed seeing Myka and Claudia paired up on a case. Claudia was very funny trying to fit into the Myka mold, but she initially went a bit over-the-top once she returned to her own style. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Pete needling Artie about his affection for Dr. Vanessa was hilarious.

When is Myka going to get a love interest? Everyone else is getting some action this season, but poor Myka is left all alone with her Twizzlers pondering what to make of H.G. Wells.

Speaking of H.G., this episode set off all kinds of warning bells for me regarding her real angle. Her story about just wanting to be part of something again reeked of bogus. Although it did seem to point to why MacPherson would have wanted to debronze her. He had a pretty big axe to grind with the Regents and wanted to acquire and use artifacts for personal gain. As a former agent who’s pretty handy at developing cool gizmos who also has a beef with the Regents, Wells could have been a formidable asset for MacPherson. He just underestimated her.

Merge with Caution: Overall, not the greatest episode. The body-switching thing was mildly amusing at times, but I didn’t like how they ended up playing Pete’s alcoholism for laughs, and the effects with the eyes and the bookends were goofy. The glowy eyes and rotating head thing was just eye-roll-inducing. The effects once they merged into one body were a bit better.

I did, however, really enjoy the Claudia and Artie pairing. (I’m partial to Ardia as their couple name, even though I really hate the combined couple name thing.) Artie going gaga for Laura Harris was awkward and uncomfortable, but his Houdini-esque abilities to escape handcuffs was hilarious. “From here I can count … eight ways that you can escape. […] Oh! The spatula. Make that nine.”

This isn’t what I wanted when I wondered if Myka would get a dude. Pete and Myka getting all cozy with their respective conquests was just terribly uncomfortable. The WH13 writers are developing some great team dynamics, but they do not do romance or romantic relationships well. It feels very high school, not adult.

Is Genelle Williams pregnant? Because Leena looked pregnant. This could explain her relative lack of screen time this season.

Vendetta: This was a pretty good episode. I was definitely on Artie’s side regarding H.G. Wells. I did not believe her story at all, and could not figure out what her real endgame was. There must have been some truth to her story if the Regents let her back in, but she was still clearly hiding something. I’m convinced that she manipulated the whole situation with Artie and Alexander’s son to make herself look like the hero and ensure she’d be restored as a Warehouse agent. During the first murder, it very much looked like a woman using the chain and the computer. Then during the second attack, we could see the silhouette of the person wielding the Titanic driftwood, and it very much looked like H.G. The shadowy figure had her wavy hair and all. I think she was in league with Ivan, then stabbed him in the back to make herself look good.

Moreover, this is where my deep frustration with Myka was starting to set in. Does she see something in H.G. that reminds of herself? Myka at times seems to be one to two steps ahead of H.G., but has a huge blind spot when it came to her real motives.

Don’t get me started on the uselessness of the Claudia and Todd business. I was momentarily intrigued when it looked like maybe he was in league with H.G. and her shenanigans (that’s how I was interpreting his lack of past), but then it just turned out he was in witness protection. And he got sent away again at the end. So what was the point of bringing him back in the first place? They had some story time to fill? Ack! Annoying and useless.

Genelle Williams is definitely pregnant.

Where and When: I liked this one a lot. It was funny and poignant, the artifact was suitably freaky, and it didn’t end with Pete and Myka kissing in a field, so yea! Plus, David Anders, Armin Shimmerman, and fun Bill & Ted references! What’s not to like?

I still had my reservations about H.G.’s motives at this point --- and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Myka wasn’t more skeptical about H.G. rather conveniently being in the right place at the right time to save the day on multiple occasions --- but I have to admit that H.G. finally started to sell me on the story about her daughter’s death. I still thought her reasons for wanting to be an agent again were suspect, but she was certainly convincing (and terrifying) when talking about what she had done to the men who killed her daughter.

I was disappointed that we only got an ominous reference to Mrs. Frederic and didn’t actually get to see her. I wanted Pete and Myka to get a load of her in the past looking just the same as ever.

I enjoyed the bit about Pete’s jealousy over the fake gold star and Jack-as-Pete’s ridiculous Total Recall reference. Silly bits perhaps, but they made me smile.

I had the song “Where or When” stuck in my head all night after watching this episode. “Some things that happened, for the first time ... seem to be happening again. And so it seems that we have met before, and laughed before, and loved before, but who knows, where or when?”

Buried: Some aspects of this episode were fairly entertaining, though a bit obvious. I didn't much care for the Indiana Jones-style Holy Grail quest, but it was pretty cool to learn a bit more about Mrs. Frederic’s role as caretaker of the Warehouse. Even better was learning that Claudia has been selected as the future caretaker. I interpreted Dr. Vanessa’s remark that she would be ready to mean that eventually, Claudia will take over as Warehouse caretaker. I think that’s awesome. Good work from Allison toning down Claudia’s ‘scattered wacky’ persona and bringing deep-seeded panic and nausea to the fore. I could almost see Claudia breaking out in the cold sweats when the time came to handfast with Mrs. Frederic.

I felt very vindicated by H.G.’s betrayal. I knew it! She’s always had her own agenda, and it wasn’t about finding a home as a Warehouse agent. At this point, we were speculating that she was after the Book of the Dead and that her endgame was to bring back her daughter. (Was it really random robbers that killed her, or does anyone think the Regents of yore were involved?)

I loved Pete going to the girls for advice. I also got a kick out of him being the one to solve the mind puzzle, especially when he started taking such glee in it. What can I say? I’m a sucker for the joy he takes in simple things.

So Kelly is The One for Pete? Really? I’m finding that hard to believe. Maybe because their relationship seems all about sex and food and not much else. I know Pete seems pretty shallow and immature most of the time, but I firmly believe he is deeper than sex and food.

Bye-bye, Mark Sheppard! You didn’t get to live up to your potential on this show, but it was nice seeing you, as always.

Reset: Another overstuffed episode that, like the season premiere, left me feeling like the main story was a big jumbled mess. So H.G. just wanted to destroy the world, huh? Seems a bit over the top. Although if that was always her plan, then I can see why MacPherson wanted her. And if she was contemplating such actions in the wake of her daughter’s death, I can see why the more logical part of herself would request to be bronzed. I wonder where the Regents shuttled her off to and if we’ll ever see her again.

I really liked the brief scenes between Artie and Claudia, although his look after reassuring her she’d get to lead the life she wanted was a bit ominous.

I did not care for the Lizzy Borden compact bit, and was unmoved by Pete’s breakup with Kelly. I just didn’t care. We never really had the chance to get invested in their relationship, and Pete telling me it was True Love wasn’t enough.

Of course, when Myka left I got pretty darn emotional. That breakup I felt, and felt deep. I hope Joanne Kelly is not leaving the show for good. “Quit your job” is a logical reaction for Myka as a character, but darn it, she’s part of the family and I will miss her a lot if she’s gone for good.

***

Season 2 had its ups and downs, and I’m not sure the overall arc or even individual episodes were on par with some from the first season, but the character dynamics have improved dramatically, and I still find this series quite enjoyable. Here’s hoping for a third season (and fewer romantic entanglements)!

Stargate Universe: Intervention

After a cold open that briefly left me wondering if the writers decided to gloss over all those pesky cliffhangers from ‘Incursion,’ the Stargate: Universe Season 2 premiere delivered a plot-heavy, fairly intense tale that threw us right back into the action and moved things forward in some interesting new directions.

No Ordinary Family: Pilot

“We’re no longer ordinary. But after everything, we are a family.”

I didn’t expect to love No Ordinary Family, and I don’t. It’s not dark, or sarcastic, or violent. There are no vampire bad boys or mysterious mythologies. No narrative tricks or astonishing production values. But it is sweet, well-acted, capably written, and charming. It’s good at what it does, and I hope it finds an audience, even if that audience doesn’t include me.

The Bennetts are an ordinary family: dad Jim, mom Stephanie, daughter Daphne, son J.J. On a forced family-bonding trip to Brazil they get into a plane crash and wind up swimming in some mystical goo that gives them all superpowers. How they learn to deal with, and love, and hate, those powers is the show’s primary conceit. How those powers affect them and the people around them will provide the plots of the episodes, and how the family remembers how much they love each other is the chewy emotional center that holds it all together.

Jim Bennett (Michael Chiklis from The Shield)

The Shield is an incredible television show, and much of that was due to the gravitas Michael Chiklis brought to the role of Vic Mackey, LAPD detective in the fictional Farmington neighborhood. Before The Shield, though, Chiklis was on The Commish: he played a bouncy happy goofy guy (I’ve only seen 15 minutes of that show, but I think that sums it up).

It would be easy to say that his character on NOF is a combination of those two men, with the brute strength of his role as The Thing in the Fantastic Four franchise added in for some superhero flair. But there’s more than that here: Chiklis’s Jim is a good man, and a strong man, who nonetheless feels completely useless as he watches his kids ignore him (in favor of texting their friends), and his wife dismiss him (because he has given up his dream). He is compassionate—in the 89 episodes of The Shield, I never once noticed his eye color. In this episode, I was amazed to see him confronting the new world of superheroism with wide blue-eyed wonder.

A self-described “failed artist [and] ineffectual civil servant,” Jim works as a sketch artist for the LAPD (or the “Pacific Bay Police,” as their squad cars say, for some bizarre reason). His discovery of his own super-strength is incredibly fun to watch, and the scene in which he discovers that he can’t fly is a great spin on the angst of the similar scene from Heroes. Jim likes his new power, and—while Vic Mackey with superhuman strength would probably bring the world to its knees—I don’t expect there will ever be a “Jim goes dark” arc on this show. He’s just too compassionate, and that’s his greatest strength.


Stephanie Bennett (Julie Benz from Angel and Dexter)

Jim’s wife Stephanie is a high-powered research scientist who feels that “between work and home, there just aren’t enough hours in the day.” So, of course, her superpower is speed. She can run more than 6 miles per second. This magically enables her to begin to find balance in her hectic life: for years, she has been the primary breadwinner for their family, which makes her feel disconnected from her children and mildly resentful of her husband’s closeness to them, as well as his own lack of professional success.

That makes Stephanie sound like a terrible person, but she’s really not. The resentment is incredibly subtle, and Benz makes it clear that Stephanie loves her husband, her children, and her job very much—she just feels stretch too thin, and occasionally it comes out, as in this exchange:

Jim: “Honey, who could keep up with you?”
Stephanie: “You couldn’t, because you stopped trying.”

Some shows—and some actors—would have played that as a scene-ender: one character stomps out of the room while the other leans back against the kitchen cabinet and puts a hand to his/her face in confused chagrin. But this show and these actors push through, because they know that marriage is one long conversation, not a series of emotive two-minute scenes.


The Kids

Well, they actually look like kids, and not over-styled 20-somethings. Daphne was given some great moments to act out her teenage disdain, but was also burdened with an equal amount of ham-fisted emotional exposition. Her superpower is telepathy, which proves (as we probably could have guessed) more of a curse than a power for the average 15 year-old. J.J.’s superpower remains a secret until the last act, so I’ll leave it as a secret here. But you’ll guess it soon enough. I don’t have much to say about this part of the show, although I assume the kiddos will get more screen-time, and better dialogue, in later episodes.

The Buddies

Autumn Reeser (of The O.C.) is Stephanie’s lab assistant. She also has fabulous comedic timing—I don’t understand how she hasn’t become a great comic actress in the tradition of…well. Right: we don’t have great comic actresses in films. At least she’s found a new home on TV.

Romany Malco (of Weeds, which I’ve never seen) is Jim’s assistant DA buddy. He helps with Jim’s new crime-fighting “hobby,” and builds him “what every secret crime fighter needs. A lair. With wi-fi.”

The Plot

Oh, right, the plot! Well, it’s a pilot. We had a sample mini-plot in the form of Jim’s aforementioned crime-fighting hobby, but this first episode was primarily focused on introducing us to the characters, the family, the marriage-as-character, and the rules of superheroism in this universe. There’s a neat twist towards the end that I didn’t see coming, because I simply wasn’t expecting a twist. But I suspect that most episodes will be stand-alones, in which the heroes use their powers to solve problems and realize that love is the greatest power of all.

The Conclusion

It sounds so cheesy, doesn’t it? Sometimes it is. But in places NOF feels like a painting of a family, done in the medium of superpowers instead of oils or acrylics. If Benz and Chiklis stay at the top of their games (and they usually do), and the writers avoid forcing false conclusions of the emotional arcs just to wind-up an episode, this show could be extremely enjoyable.

Will I watch it again? No. My TV schedule is too full as it is, and I don’t expect the narrative to get too complex, or the stakes to be too high. But that just means it’s not for me. This might be just the show for you.


My Superpower is List-Making

• Chiklis mentions that the pilot dies, and he looks genuinely sad about it. Damn, he’s good.

• The security guide told Stephanie to take the 405, because the surface streets were too busy. Today’s life lesson, kiddos: taking the 405 is never the answer, no matter how tempting that sort of self-harming may seem. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Plus, it looked like Stephanie wound up on the 101 anyway.

• Chiklis: “When was the last time we did something as a family?”
Daughter: “Last month. Charades. And you pulled out your back miming some scene from Iron Man.”

• Stephanie: “Jim, I know you want us to have some great family moments. But, we all survived a plane crash. Talk about memories that last forever.”

• Autumn Reeser: “How does your body cut through the wind-shear? Why doesn’t the friction tear your clothes? Are you generating some kind of charged plasma field from the kinetic energy?” Yes, they address the scientific impossibility of Stephanie’s super-speed.

• I haven’t mentioned the film The Incredibles. Oh, I just did.

Pilots are hard to rate. So I’ll just say: if you think you might like this show, you probably will enjoy it. If you think it sounds too cuddly for you, you’re probably right. (And you can watch The Shield instead.)

Glee: Britney/Brittany

Sue: "It's a Britney Spears sex riot!"

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!

Glee + Britney!! How exciting!! I'm pretty sure the only thing that could top this would be Alexander Skarsgard walking into my room with nothing but a towel. Or maybe free shoes from the Nordstrom's fall collection.

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!

(Ahem. Ok, sorry kids - got that out of my system. I will now try to regain some modicum of dignity.)

So - "Britney/Brittany". Like Britney Spears herself, tonight's episode was light on emotional substance and somewhat middling on talent, but was tons of fun and showed off some killer dance moves. Plus, I thought Ms. Spears' cameos were quite well done. I dug it.

Hit Me Baby, One More Time... (The Good)

• Brittany was the perfect choice to be Britney. Her singing voice wasn't all that impressive, but good god, that girl can dance - plus 10. And she's got a killer bod. She looked just amazing in all the Britney classic outfits - plus another 15.
• The outfits themselves - ALL of them, but particularly the red latex bodysuit from "Oops, I Did It Again" - deserve 20 in their own right.
  
• "Me Against the Music" with Santana - just a riot of fun. Plus 5.
• But easily the best Britney number of the night: Artie belting "Stronger" with the football team as back up. I don't think I've laughed so hard since the last football dance number ("Single Ladies") - plus 25. Apparently there's something about burly guys dancing to girly pop songs that I like.
• I don't know what was up with Kurt this week (see deductions), but I really liked his chambray suit and bow tie - plus 5.
  
• Yum. John Stamos. I even thought he was hot when he had a mullet. Plus 5.
• Coach Bieste has a heart - plus 5. I like "her".
• I think any appearance by Jacob automatically earns +15 points - especially when he is willing to commit patricide to buy her from Finn.
• And when he leaves a sweat butt stain on Sue's chair. LOL - plus 5.
• Brittany S. Pierce. Omg. +5.
• "How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart." So adorably clueless, Finn - plus 5.
• I have to admit, I liked the "Toxic" number. I think it was acapella, which was cool, and the dancing was fun. I would give it +20, but watching Mr. Schue dance with the kids made me squirm, so only +15. I'll throw in another +2 for bringing us back to the "Push It" awkwardness from Season 1.
• Sue got injured in a sex riot - nice. Her explanation of the DNC convention? Hysterical - plus 7.
• I've been pretty down on Rachel for getting so skinny, but she did look hot hot hot in "Baby Hit Me One More Time." Now I know why everyone was getting in shape this summer - they all had to prep for the Britney episode. Plus 1.
• Quinn coming on to Finn on Rachel's behalf - plus 2. Quinn's really grown as a person. Finn's face lighting up when seeing Rachel, even when Brittany and Santana were flirting with him deserves another +3.
• Wow, I totally loved the choreography this week. I read an interview with Heather Morris, who was originally brought on as a dancer, and she was saying how the choreographer was so excited that he could really bust it out this week, instead of catering to the Reach to Nowhere crowd. As a dancer, I wholeheartedly endorse - plus 12.
• Best line of the night: "Students that ate the ravioli today and are not up to date on their tetanus shot should see the school nurse immediately" - Figgins. Plus, like, 14!
  
• Second best line of the night: "Because of last week's grisly train derailment, the dulcimer club is on hiatus until further notice." Figgins just gets weirder and weirder.
• Finally, good selection of Brit-Brit songs - plus 3. I just wish they'd squeezed in "Oops".
• Total: 177
  

It's Britney, Bitch (The Bad)

• The whole Finn-Rachel-insecurity plotline was lame. I mean, yes, having insecurities like that are real, but Rachel's just a whiny control freak in this case. Finn was a football player when she met him - that's who she loves. But Rachel did not dress like a walking Britney video when Finn decided he loved her. I thought the ending was cute, but otherwise, a contrived plot point - minus 25.
• What was even worse? WILL! Again, jealousy is understandable. Acting like a jackass and stealing the spotlight from your students is not. Minus 15 just for being so prominent in the "Toxic" number (although yes, he can sing and dance). Minus 5 for the ugly yellow Corvette. Minus 15 for trying to impress Emma even after he told Carl he'd back off. Minus 20 for this entire, stupid plot line.
• No Sue until the 30 minute mark? Tsk, tsk, tsk - minus 1.
• Carl is cute, but he says "bro" way too many times. Yes, we get it, you're trying to make him laid back and hip. But no one says "bro" that much unless they're old and trying to act young - minus 5.
• All I get is 2 minutes of Terri? What is going to be her role for the rest of the show? Minus 2, one for each minute.
• What the heck was with Kurt? He got waaaaaay too worked up about Britney. Minus 5.
• Adult Contemporary? Who's Christopher Cross? Are we supposed to know this? Minus 3.
• Total: 97
  

This week's score: 80

Quotes:
-- Brittany: "Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs."

-- Brittany: "This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed."

-- Brittany: "I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."

-- Brittany: "I hope you all respect when I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

-- Brittany: "It's like a Jewish cloud."

-- Santana: "You can drill me any time."

-- Sue: "You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom."

-- Sue: "That's what one Hubert Humphrey said back in 1968 at the start of the Democratic National Convention. But then hippies put acid in everyone's bourbon and when an updraft revealed Lady Bird Johnson's tramp stamp and tattoos above her ovaries, Mayor Richard J. Daley became so incensed with sexual rage that he punched his own wife in the face and spent the next hour screaming "sex party" in the microphones of all three major networks."

-- Artie: "Every day, Tina and Mike's Asian fusion grows stronger."

-- Sue: "I'm secretly hoping it's a mid-life crisis, meaning your halfway to an early death."

-- Finn: "They're personifying you.
Rachel: "Objectifying."

-- Rachel: "I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them

-- Finn: "How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore?
Rachel: "I kinda like it. I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you got paralyzed."

-- Carl: "I love that look of instant panic each time I try to change your routine."

So - was it better than the Madonna tribute? Or one of the best Glee eps so far? I wouldn't say so. There are two things that "Britney/Brittany" lacked: original interpretations of the songs (esp in the form of mash ups), and emotional punch. I know that I said I like Glee when it's plot-lite, but tonight, I really noticed what a difference emotional investment can make. I'm not sure that I want Quinn-baby-story heaviness, but at the end of tonight's tremendously fun, laughing out loud funny episode, I didn't walk away with a WOW.

But I did get a whoa. In the end, "Britney/Brittany" was saved by the fun dance numbers, iconic outfits, great one-liners, and some bad-ass Jacob sightings. But none of it's emotional pitches rang true with me.

3.5 out of 4 Britney cameos.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I never want to type "Britney" or "Brittany" again.

Dexter: My Bad

Rita: "I felt up in the air, the way things ended. Like we never said a proper goodbye."

Wouldn't it be ironic if causing Rita's murder turned Dexter into a human being?

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 8: History and Literature

Harmony: "I've been doing my homework. Reading books and stuff."
Spike: "What? Evil for Dummies?"

Lest we forget, the setting of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was high school and college. And cemeteries and the Bronze and the dorm and so on, but there was definitely a learning theme going on. It was pretty obvious that the Buffy writers knew their way around good books; some of my favorite quotes ever were about historical figures and classic literature.

Star Trek: The Changeling

McCoy: "What do we do now? Go up and knock?"

Another entry in the sixties computer paranoia column, this time with a tiny, confused talking atomic bomb. At least Kirk had a lot of previous relevant experience in talking a computer to death.

Fringe: Olivia

“You can’t just keep running.”

The Season Two finale left us with Peter and Walter back Over Here, accompanied by a woman alternately called Boliva, Oliviate, or Fauxlivia. Our Olivia (now with auburn hair) is stuck Over There as a pawn in Walternate game/war/vendetta. This episode’s focus on Over There, and on Olivia’s experiences, was exactly as creepy, disorienting, and disturbing as it should have been.

Supernatural: Exile on Main Street

Dean: "Am I the only one here that thinks that this can't all just be fine?"

I am completely weirded out. What just happened?

Smallville: Lazarus

Lois: "I'm the last one to know."

Wonderful opening, good follow-through, and a terrific ending. I'm very encouraged.

Vampire Diaries: Bad Moon Rising

“Isn’t killing cute, defenseless animals the first step in becoming a serial killer?”

This episode was full of great scenes, great lines, and the return of my beloved Alaric (albeit with terrible puffy hair). So the different parts didn’t quite add up to a cohesive whole, and this felt like the first part of a two-parter. So the werewolf thing is kinda boring. This was still the most enjoyable hour of my week. (Is my life pathetic, or what?)

Undercovers: Pilot

Home run! What a pleasant and unexpected surprise.

Steven and Samantha Bloom are the center of the series, and we all know that happily married couples are boring. I can see where the writers thought very carefully about how to make the Blooms' relationship exciting and romantic. They were both spies five years ago, but they never worked together; when they fell in love and got married, they left the agency but kept a solemn promise never to discuss their careers -- ever. Meaning that, as far as the spy game goes, they are a complete mystery to each other.

In this pilot, Steven and Samantha were lured back into the life and carried out their very first mission as a team. They worked in tandem professionally and like they'd been partners forever, but they kept learning new things about each other in a most delightful way. Samantha Bloom (played by the interestingly named Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is clever, charming, kick-ass, and seriously world-class gorgeous. Steven Bloom (Boris Kodjoe) is a fairly good match for her, although I wasn't as crazy about him as I was about her (maybe I didn't like his weird facial hair). They click well as a couple. It's not easy to do snappy, spicy, romantic banter this good.

Can the Blooms' marriage survive the spy life while they run a catering business at the same time? Will it create obstacles in their marriage? Will they learn things about each other that they just can't handle? Is the Pope Catholic? You know what? I'm actually interested in finding out. (About the Blooms, not the Pope.)

The supporting characters really shone, too. The talented Gerald McRaney made Shaw, the stereotypical gruff and acerbic boss, seem like a whole new character. Leo Nash (Carter MacIntyre) was so instantly lovable that when he was captured, I truly didn't want him to get hurt. And Hoyt (Ben Schwartz), with his inappropriate and overwrought case of hero worship on Steven, made me laugh over and over again.

Yes, there was a lot of Alias and a good bit of Mission Impossible, but that's not a bad thing. I liked the place cards taking us to faraway places, even though they were almost certainly all Los Angeles. (Except I've actually been on that street in Paris, and it looked damned convincing.) Dan laughed out loud when the series credits were shown fifteen minutes into the episode, because that was something they often did on Alias.

And there was a rocket launcher. Because, to paraphrase Joss Whedon, you have to have a rocket launcher.

I confess that I watched the premiere of Undercovers only out of a sense of obligation to J.J. Abrams. But this one could very well be a winner -- Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but a whole lot better. If they can keep up the quality of this pilot and take our spy couple in new and interesting directions, this show is going to be a hit.

Glee: Audition

"I've never had balls in my mouth. Have you?" - Sam

Welcome back, Gleeks! I hope that your summer was as fun as tonight's season premier was. I have to admit, I was pretty nervous at how it would be - Glee was completely bipolar last year, and I was kinda concerned that it'd become such a hit that it'd just be too full of itself.

But if the aptly named "Auditions" is any indication, we're in for a fun ride. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised at how low-key, yet so very Glee, the premier ep was. So let's get started with the first Gleecap of the school year.


Initial first reactions:

• Seriously, Lea Michele has lost waaaaay too much weight. Not digging it. Not a fan of the bangs either, but I don't hate them like some people seem to.
• Also didn't love the music choices. Low key good, and performances good, but I don't think I'll be downloading all of the songs anymore.
• Oh, Sue, Sue, Sue - how much I've missed you. Especially now that you have an even more nonsensical nemesis. (Let's admit it, Will was never much of a match for you.)

When I was reading all the casting news in the spring and summer, I was like, "uh oh." A lot of shows - I'm looking at you, Lost! - have been tanked by expanding an already large cast, to the point that no one gets adequate story lines, and the viewers can't connect with the key characters.

Now that I've seen it, though, I'm giving Ryan & Co. a thumbs up for reinventing the show, while staying true to its roots. Casting Charice, Chord Overstreet (is that really his name????), and Dot-Marie Jones as Rachel, Finn, and Sue's respective rivals and mirrors was an ingenious way to set up the year.

Now, onto the scores!

The Good:

• Can I just say again how much I love the character of Coach Bieste? She was seriously laugh out loud funny. +5 points because she looks like Ken Tanaka with lipstick; add another 5 because I'm pretty sure she's wearing his clothes from last season.
  
• Plus, she makes even less sense than Sue ("You're all coffee and no omelet.") AND she refers to herself in the 3rd person. Now you know how the rest of us feel, Sue. +10
• Bonus points for making her actually sensitive, and not just another Sue - 10 points.
• The Brittany doll? Hysterical - plus 2.
• I have to say that the opening sequence was completely brilliant. It was funny, incorporated classic Glee elements (slushee!), and completely tongue in cheek. My favorite parts: Jacob interrogating Mr. Schue on the rapping, and comparing his song choices to "a drag queen's iPod." Looks like Ryan reads the boards after all - +25.
• God bless the return of Kurt's wardrobe - plus 5.
• God bless the unveiling of Other Asian's abs. Can we see more abs and less dancing? Plus 2.
• Speaking of dancing, damn, Brittany can dance. I don't know about her singing, but she is amazing - plus 2.
• Tina and Mike fell in love at Asian Camp - plus 5. Only because these things really exist. When I was growing up, every Taiwanese high schooler I knew hooked up with someone on The Love Boat.
• Loved "Telephone", although I was afraid Rachel was going to attack Sunshine - plus 2.
• Charice. Man, that girl can sing. I like Lea Michele's voice, but I've always thought it was a bit on the sharp side. Charice has soul and depth, something I seriously appreciate being an alto. And her rendition of "Listen"? I literally got goosebumps. Plus 15.
• Favorite moment of the night: Quinn tying her ponytail, and reclaiming her rightful place as Queen walking down the hall in her Cheerios outfit. I love me a good strut - plus 10.
• Will and Sue, conspiring together? Plus 10.
  

The Ehn...

• "Empire State of Mind" - while I liked the staging, esp the costumes and Kurt's Salt-n-Peppa hair, it felt awkward. The song wasn't vibrant enough to grab my attention. Minus 5.
• And I don't know about that "Billionaire" number either. But that might be because I was so distracted by the new kid's mouth - minus 10. The Bieber cut also really doesn't help - minus 2.
  
• Seriously, Sam has a big mouth. I can't get over it - minus another 10.
• I liked the closing number, but haven't we heard Rachel sing this one already? Minus 10 for lack of imagination, but recoup 2 for a great performance.
• I am so not into Lea Michele right now. She's too skinny, and I will admit, my opinion of Rachel has been influenced by Michele's off-screen diva behavior. Sorry. No deductions.
• Finn not on the football team? It'll probably make for interesting storytelling, but I'm not pleased - minus 5.
• Tina dumping Artie for Mike? Other Asian having enough of a storyline to justify a name? Minus 15.
• Poop cookies? Ewwwww. Minus 5.
  
• Finn's Cheerios audition was so good, it was bad. Really a plus 20, I was laughing my *** off.

And the total is... Oh, who cares? I can't add, and it clearly came out on top. I realized as I was writing this that I liked the ep a lot more than I didn't.

Quotes:
-- Sue: "The two of you are making a mistake, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexicans sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross."

-- Brittany: "Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I wanna touch her boobs."

-- Sue: "You're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags will keep everyone safe from injury."

-- Sue: "A person that has to pump her naughties full of gravy to feel good about herself clearly doesn't have the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader."

-- Puck: "Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"
Sam: "I don't know. I've never had balls in my mouth. Have you?"

-- Tina: "You ignored me for weeks this summer."
Artie: "I was playing a marathon game of Halo, woman!"

-- Santana: "My eyes are up here, Jew fro."

So, "Audition" didn't have me jumping up and down with, er, glee, but it was a solid start to the sophomore season. While I am hoping that we'll have more kick-me-in-the-head amazing eps, in all honesty, I'd probably be happier with more even storytelling. And I ain't gonna lie - I love Britney, and I am sooooo looking forward to next week's ep!

2.5 out of 4 tennis balls.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Anniversary

“I can’t believe how fast they rebuilt it.”


Let’s talk about sexting. Well, let’s start by talking about sexting, and then work our way backwards and forwards. By the end, we’ll all have learned something important about ourselves, and (hopefully) I will have figured out what I think of this episode.



The sexting joke was silly the first time Morgan brought it up. Yes, some people text their phone sex, instead of doing it the old-fashioned way with tin cans and string. (Kids these days.) It was sillier the second time, when Chuck and Sarah talked about it awkwardly. And it hit the rock bottom of the silly-canyon when Sarah started taking mock-sexy pictures of herself on the airplane. But once she and Casey were tied to the chair, and the sexting joke came up again, Casey’s punchline suddenly made it all funny: “What? What does that even mean?”

That’s a lot of build-up for very little payoff. I wonder if this episode originally came in at just 30 minutes, and the writers decided they needed to extend a few scenes: the sexting, the scene where Chuck decided to decrypt then download (instead of the other way around), the repo man gag. All played a bit too long for me. On the other hand, the quick recap of Chuck’s interviews was hilarious and perfectly timed.

But that’s not why we’re here. Why are we here? Linda Hamilton! The internet rumor made flesh! Chuck’s search for his mother is the new governing principle of Chuck’s return to the spy games (and lying to Ellie again). He and Morgan spent $43,000 on a worldwide globetrot only to wind up in an empty room in LA, unemployed, car-less, and only one takeout menu closer to the truth.

Lucky for them, the CIA has repurposed the BuyMore. I’m not sure how I feel about this—it comes back to the issue of build-up vs. payoff. I really thought the BuyMore was finally over at the end of Season Three. I really thought Chuck lying to Ellie would stop being a thing. But now we’ve re-set: Chuck works at the BuyMore as a cover for being a special agent, and he’s lying to Ellie about his true employment. Ahem. Again.

Some changes have stayed the same, though. Chuck and Sarah are still going strong (although their timeline seems a bit confused); Casey is still a grump with a heart of gold; Morgan is still hilarious, and still a spy-sidekick. A spykick. And some things are really new changes: Ellie is (finally!) pregnant, and Chuck seems a bit more bittersweet than usual. The loss of Scott Bakula is not to be forgotten, and Chuck’s search for his mom is going to be emotionally fraught for both him and Ellie when she eventually finds out. Oh, and the BuyMore has a slide! I hope we see more of the slide.

And more Linda Hamilton, of course. She’s a kick-ass feminist icon of my misspent youth, and I’m getting a real Irina Derevko vibe so far. I wonder if Chuck has some wacky aunts, too?


Bytes:

• Chuck: “This is not the opening of a TV show. This is real life.”

• Morgan: “Me and you. Real spies…Sunblock! We need sunblock!”

• Sarah: “By the way, good idea to bring the chutes.”
Casey: “Thank you.”

• Morgan: “Sexting. It’s short for sex-writing.”

• Chuck: “I’m 100% snatchable.”

• Chuck: “We’re going to Russia.”
Morgan: “Okay. I’m going to have to sell my Millenium Falcon.”

• Chuck: “The plan was for me to be Carmichael, and you to be Sven, my mute assistant.”

And Pieces:

• I loved the low-budget old-fashioned map montage.

• Harry Dean Stanton! Dolph Lundgren!

• The soundtrack was great, as always. It was nice not to hear the Ring theme, either.

• The shootout in Moscow was beautifully shot.

When push comes to shove, this is still a great show. So they haven’t completely re-invented themselves. Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Three out of four Sarah Connors

(Screencap courtesy of chucktv.net.)

Farscape: PK Tech Girl

When Moya’s crew attempts to scavenge the derelict Zelbinion --- a legendary Peacekeeper ship that went missing in battle over 100 cycles ago --- they are surprised to find a support tech from Crais’s command carrier hiding on board. Soon after, a dangerous scavenger race returns to claim the Zelbinion’s defense shield, and Zhaan and D’Argo must stall for time while Crichton, Aeryn, and Gilina (the young tech) work to restore the shield to protect Moya. Meanwhile, Rygel confronts demons from his time spent being tortured aboard the Zelbinion.

The Event: Pilot

"They saved us."
"Who? Who saved us?"

Last year's unfortunate experience with FlashForward has made me leery of any new high concept show with a convoluted plot that bills itself as 'the new Lost'. I like the old Lost, thank you very much.

So you can say I went into this with more than a modicum of doubt. I wasn't all that interested in Sean Walker, our lead average guy schmuck. I was definitely not amused by all of the jumping around, either; I groaned out loud when we got the fifth or sixth "eight days earlier" or whatever. Would it have hurt them to put the flashbacks in chronological order, at least within one episode? Do they really, truly want to confuse their audience? It made me feel like taking notes, although I resisted the impulse.

But then we got to the last five minutes, and something intriguing finally happened. Who saved the President and/or Laura Innes? Was it aliens? a wormhole? a time blip? beings from an alternate reality? mutated X-Men incarcerated in Alaska? It was also an interesting surprise that Sean's prospective future father-in-law was flying the plane, clearly sacrificing himself for his daughter and/or granddaughter. Although if so, I wonder why Sean was trying to stop him.

None of the actors stood out for me yet, although I'm encouraged by the presence of Laura Innes, Tony Todd and the always fabulous Blair Underwood. I noticed many homages to Lost, Heroes, 24, even North by Northwest. Mount Inostranka in Alaska felt very X-Files. Greg and Vicky, the obvious plants who were after Sean and Layla, reminded me of a Timothy Olyphant movie that Dan forced me to watch (A Perfect Getaway).

Some of the imagery was interesting, too. Lots of images of water, rain, and snow. A blood stain in the shape of a teddy bear. AviasAir flight 514, huh? Why not go all the way and make it Oceanic?

So. Could be cool. Could be FlashForward. Right now, I'm just planning to review the premiere; I refuse to watch this episode a second time and do any deeper analysis. And I won't commit to reviewing every episode until and unless I fall in love with it.

But I'm definitely intrigued enough to tune in next week.

Two out of four secret facilities in Alaska,

Billie

NewFlash: Locke and Linus, Together Again?

If it's a hoax, it's the best hoax ever: New York magazine and now Michael Ausiello are reporting that Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson may be part of a new show. Together. Playing "black ops agents." New York mag claims that plans for the JJ Abrams-produced show (possibly called Odd Jobs) are "very real and very active." I'll nominate Jorge Garcia for their wacky sidekick, as soon as I'm done dancing the dance of joy.

Hawaii Five-0: Pilot

CBS’s latest cop procedural is ... well, a CBS cop procedural sans forensics and flashbacks. Hawaii Five-0 reboots the classic ‘70s cop show (1968-1980), adds the occasional bit of grit and personal angst to the tropical paradise setting, and ends up with a show that fits perfectly into the CBS stable of crime shows.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The pilot was an engaging hour with gorgeous scenery and relatively entertaining characters. It was a good bit darker than I expected, particularly the cold open with the convoy assault in South Korea and the murder of McGarrett’s father. After that intense and emotionally brutal action piece, the cut to the peppy opening credits with the classic theme and the sunny locales give me a bit of mental whiplash.

Alex O’Loughlin as Steve McGarrett is ostensibly the lead for the series, but the pilot’s clear breakout character is Detective Danny Williams (Danno). Scott Caan really brought some much needed lightness and exasperated humor to balance McGarrett’s brusque dourness. I understand that McGarrett just lost his dad to a criminal he’d been chasing for five years and he's got exacting bloody vengeance on the brain, but his driven and largely dismissive attitude towards his new partner made him seriously unlikable throughout much of the premiere. At least they gave him a small redemptive moment at the end when he gave Danno the hotel room for his weekend with his daughter. He may not be the gigantic jerk he appeared to be after all.

My biggest complaint about the show thus far is that the unit came together too quickly and caught their first baddie far too easily (despite killing most of their leads along the way). But I tend to watch much more serialized fare --- even the more episodic shows I watch have overarching plot elements that carry through the season -- so a “one and done” story resolution is bound to seem a bit too pat to me. Nonetheless, I’m curious to see how the team dynamic develops moving forward and how the creators fine-tune the balance of light and dark in the series.

Other Thoughts

I was surprised to see James Marsters. I read a fair number of teaser pieces on the show during the pre-season buzz, and I do not remember seeing that he was a guest in the pilot. I wasn’t even 100 percent sure it was him at first. I turned to my husband and asked incredulously, “Is that James Marsters?”

His presence brought a surreal meta-humor to the climactic confrontation between McGarrett and Victor. When they were fighting on top of the shipping containers I kept thinking, “Spike and Mick are throwing down! Can we consider this a candidate for our Top 3 Vampire Fight Scenes?” They actually scored the vampire trifecta with this scene because the pilot was directed by Len Wiseman of Underworld fame.

Despite being fairly standard procedural fare, Hawaii Five-0 is the gift that keeps on giving for cult TV fans. In addition to Alex O’Loughlin and James Marsters, we got Daniel Dae Kim from Lost, Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica, and William Sadler (McGarrett Sr.), known ‘round these parts as Dr. Darrin Tyler, Jaye’s dad on Wonderfalls. I can’t wait to see who shows up next!

The governor referred to wanting to clean up crime on her “island" --- possibly more than once. Is it typical to refer to the entire state of Hawaii as though it is one island? Does she not care about the other islands that make up her state? Or is all the Big Bad Crime only committed on Oahu?

Danno and McGarrett waiting outside the surf shop in those oversize t-shirts was a pretty hilarious sight gag.

Final Analysis: A reasonably enjoyable crime procedural with nice scenery and the potential to develop a fun team dynamic. It may not become appointment TV for me, but I’ll be sticking with it for a few more weeks, at least.

Photo credit: CBS

Boardwalk Empire: Pilot

“You can’t be half a gangster. Not anymore.”

The early 1920s are a fascinating time: the US was still reeling from World War I, but struggled with the question of whether to retain isolationist politics. Many women were in the throes of a religious revival that led, eventually, to women getting the right to vote. In 1920 itself, six black men were lynched in Duluth, Minnesota. Nativist politics underwent a revival of their own, particularly in response to anti-Irish sentiment. Oh, and in January of 1920, the Volstead Act began 13 years of Prohibition—the criminalization of the manufacture and trade of alcohol.


Boardwalk Empire (based on the book of the same name by Nelson Johnson) sets the familiar cast of gangsters in this relatively early era--early as far as organized crime is concerned. It’s halfway between Gangs of New York and Casino, and for the pilot, that means that every line, every gesture, feel like it has been ripped from a Scorsese film. Mr. S. himself said, in a promo clip for the show, that these are “gangster toddlers,” and that perfectly describes some of the moments of recognition I had during the pilot. Oh, look, it’s Al Capone when he’s still young, but just as hot-headed! Lucky Luciano, before everyone knew to call him Lucky! Michael Pitt as Jimmy Darmody is basically playing Leonardo DiCaprio!

If the pilot feels like a Scorsese film in miniature, that probably shouldn’t come as a surprise: Scorsese is an executive producer, and directed the first episode; his co-exec producer is Terrence Winters of The Sopranos fame. That’s an impressive pedigree, and Scorsese uses all his regular tricks, all of which I still love: great period music (more below), jumpy cuts between scenes, a preoccupation with masculinity and the role of women as wives and mothers, awesome clothes. Oh, and gangsters. Always with the gangsters.

Gangster Exhibit A, our hero, is Nucky Thompson. He’s played by Steve Buscemi. I love Steve Buscemi. He is a fabulous actor, and he is somehow perfect for this role, the way he is perfect for all the roles he plays. Nucky is Treasurer for Atlantic City, which is close enough to Canada to become a hotbed for the importation of that lovely whisky. He’s a corrupt, hard-headed liar: he’ll sell anything to the highest bidder—and he’s usually in the market for power more than money. The phrase that came to mind is “hooker with a heart of gold,” and he does have a soft spot for battered and/or pregnant women.

We meet Nucky and his wacky cast of Irish almost-gangsters on the night before Prohibition becomes official, as Nucky is already plotting an alliance with the Chicago boys and “New York Gangs” (read: Eye-talians) for the import and distribution of alcohol. Nucky is soon in over his head, and while he eventually manages to stay afloat (despite the efforts of both his enemies and his friends), Nucky’s basic good-heartedness, as well as his relative naiveté, are sure to provide the arc for the rest of the season, if not the show. Jimmy Darmody’s basic good-heartedness and desire to get ahead will also provide plot-fodder. And the lovely Kelly MacDonald, playing immigrant Margaret, will surely be put at risk even more than she has before. She’s also good-hearted.

(Random aside: The Italians are not really good-hearted. If I were Italian, I would possibly take mild offense at this. Remember Jack Nicholson’s speech at the beginning of The Departed? Yeah, the Irish mafia isn’t there yet, at all. They haven’t, in Frank Costello’s words, “taken it” yet. They don’t even know it’s there for the taking.)

(Second random aside: Have you noticed that Irish gangsters are now the “safe” bad guys for liberal shows and movies? They’re white, but just ethnic enough to not be WASPs. So they don’t offend anyone, and some Irish-Americans are probably just happy not to be lumped in with other white people.)

Back to the review: All of the interpersonal drama and criminal maneuverings, as well as the political awareness and intertextual baggage, are set against a beautifully realized set of Atlantic City. Ocean, storefronts, promenades, casinos, illegal distilleries--Boardwalk Empire will surely be nominated for a set-design Emmy, and it will deserve to win. Scorsese and Winters also establish a strong sense of more nebulous aspects of place: while I obviously viewed this show with American “ethnic” identity in the back of my mind at all times, I was struck by how Atlantic City really did feel diverse and polyglot, even if the glots are just different accents.

The post-WWI period, through the Depression and WWII, marked the beginnings of American ascendancy. BE picks up on this as well, although more subtly: none of the characters seem to feel like they are ascending anything, but at one point the soundtrack features a song Al Jolson stole from Puccini—and in the context of what happens on-screen during that song, there’s a definite New World vs. Old World vibe. It’s interesting.

It’s easy to make quick comparisons between the 1920s and modern America, as well as some radical differences. We’re definitely in the throes of another Protestant religious revival, but equal rights don’t really seem to be its main goal. Black men are no longer lynched in Duluth, but Korans are burned and the conservative media has no problem manufacturing a Ground Zero Mosque that is really a nearby community center. Nativist politics (of both the 19th century and early 20th century varieties) have been mentioned quite a bit recently—some journalists seem to feel that the Irish should be grateful that we were so violently forced to assimilate. (For a great response to that atrocious claim, read this.) And California’s current debate over whether to legalize marijuana is like the flip-side of Prohibition. Will BE fall into the trap of cheeky self-awareness, as Mad Men occasionally does? I hope not, but some comparisons, like the ones I just made, seem inevitable.

Hopefully, though, the plot and the characters will be the focus of the show. This pilot effectively introduced many of the characters, and established a few relationships that will eventually morph into plots. But it was mostly concerned with setting the stage: Atlantic City, the historical context, and even BE’s place in the canon of gangster films and TV shows. That’s what a pilot should do, I suppose, and BE did it well. I’ll certainly keep tuning in to see how it all plays out.

Star Trek: Who Mourns for Adonais?

Apollo: "I am Apollo!"
Chekov: "And I am the Tsar of all the Russias."

(Ben and I apologize in advance for the high level of snark in this review. We just couldn't stop ourselves.)

Vampire Diaries: Brave New World

“Talk about a town where history repeats itself.”

I groaned quite a few times during this episode. “Oh, I can’t believe they’re doing that,” I said to the cat. “It’s so cliché, and it’s been done before,” he responded with a wise nod. And then, moments (well, sometimes minutes) later, I realized that I should sit back and trust the man who brought us the Scream franchise. It’s not Vicky Donovan, 2.0. It’s not Token Black Guy and Racially Appropriate Relationship. It’s The Vampire Diaries, and it’s damn good.

Eureka: Season 4

I’m new to Eureka. From the promos, I’d always thought the series looked like great, quirky fun, but it just didn’t intrigue me enough to add it to my summer viewing schedule. This year, however, the addition of James Callis and the promise of a time travel story resulting in big changes proved too alluring to resist, and I decided to give the show a whirl. I’m very glad I did, because Eureka turned out to be the summer show I most looked forward to every week.

Farscape: Thank God Its Friday ... Again

After a bout of Luxan hyper-rage sends D’Argo down to a nearby planet, the crew is surprised to find he’s gone native and become uncharacteristically happy as a field laborer. Crichton and Zhaan stay to figure out what’s happened to him, and Aeryn returns to Moya with Rygel following an apparent assassination attempt on the dominar. Zhaan soon falls under the planet’s spell, while Crichton learns that the root they eat on the planet causes everyone to seriously mellow out and become highly susceptible to suggestion, which is why they always think it is the final day of the work cycle. Meanwhile, Aeryn discovers the attack on Rygel was caused by his body fluids turning explosive, and with Pilot’s help she must determine how to save him.

True Blood: Evil is Going On

Bill: "Sookie, stay here. Pam will protect you."
Sookie: "Feel safer protecting myself. Since I now know I'm basically vampire crack."

After being yanked here, taken there, bitten and used, Sookie finally turned the tables. This was Sookie's episode, and it was about time. I loved seeing her literally take her life back.

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 7: Religion

Here's this week's installment of subject-oriented Buffy quotes. This time, the topic is religion. Always a touchy subject, but some of my absolute favorite Buffy quotes are about religion, gods, vampires at the Crucifixion, bad home perms, and so on. This particular installment contains several of my absolute all-time favorites. They're in italics and blue.

Star Trek: Amok Time

Spock: "How do Vulcans choose their mates? Haven't you wondered?"
Kirk: "I guess the rest of us always assumed it was done quite logically."

In the space of one episode, Spock went from cool superman to sexy beast. And a whole new wave of fan fiction was born.

Vampire Diaries: The Return

“Kiss me, or kill me, Damon. We both know you’re only capable of one.”

I was a bit nervous going into this episode, our first premiere of the 2010 Fall Season. Would VD continue to delight? Had I committed to a show destined to crash and burn? (Again?) How could they possibly top the wonders of the first season? Luckily—or rather, thanks to the skills of the writers, directors, producers, and cast—the Season Two premiere was top-notch, and set up plenty of meaty, angsty, delicious goodness for the rest of the season. (Don’t over-think those descriptors.)

Newsflash: Caprica to Return Oct. 5th

SyFy announced today that Caprica will be returning to the schedule in October, instead of January, as previously announced. Caprica will return Tuesday, October 5th, at 10:00 p.m. following Stargate Universe (which returns on September 28th). Sanctuary was originally scheduled to return on Tuesdays, following SGU, but now will remain on Fridays at 10:00 p.m., returning October 15th.

More details can be found here and here.

Photo credit: SyFy

Farscape: Back and Back and Back to the Future

After Moya rescues two escapees from a sub-atomically disintegrating ship, D’Argo plays gracious host to the secretive new guests while Crichton plays Billy Pilgrim (or Desmond Hume, if you prefer) in an increasingly disastrous series of future flashes.

Star Trek: Operation - Annihilate!

Spock: "Pain is a thing of the mind. The mind can be controlled."

I didn't remember much about this one when I sat down to rewatch it and write this review, so I can personally attest that this is not an episode that stays with you.

Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 6: Holidays

In honor of the strange and unknown-outside-the-United-States Labor Day (tomorrow), this week's theme is holidays. Okay, mostly it's an excuse to post a lot of quotes from my favorite Thanksgiving episode of all time, "Pangs". Buffy the Vampire Slayer also gave us quite possibly the best Valentine's Day episode of all time as well ("Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered"), and two exceptional Halloween episodes ("Halloween" and "Fear, Itself"). Who's a little fear demon?