Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One

If you are a fan of the Harry Potter series – movies and books, then you are probably going to enjoy this movie. If you aren’t then you will have no clue what is going on. Actually, if all you have done is watch the movies, you might be a little lost as well.

The movie is beautiful in a moody, dark sort of way. I’m not sure what a non-Potter fan would make of all the camping and longing, wistful glances out to the horizon but Potter fans know what’s coming and can make sense of the strung together bits of war, intrigue and relationship squabbles. There is a lot of filling in the blanks required but to be fair, as one reviewer put it, this is the penultimate movie and is a set-up for part two.

Of course, it is always difficult to fit the many nuances of a book into a movie and when the book is 608 pages long, even if you split it into two movies, it is impossible. We miss a lot of character development and important details including plot points. But David Yates does cover the major aspects of the plot and manages to create an atmosphere reminiscent of the book. The books and movies have moved from a child’s fairy tale to something quite sinister and adult.

Which leads me to a very important point -- this movie is NOT for children. This is not a lovely Christmas family romp with beautiful mythical creatures and evil foes easily overcome. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is a war movie complete with violence, repression and horror. Our plucky heroes are fighting the good fight but it is all pretty grim. This is manageable if you know how things will eventually shake down but if not then you are going to find this movie pretty depressing. I can’t imagine what a young child would make of it.

On a more positive note, I enjoyed the return of some of my favourite characters – the lovable Luna, feisty Dobby and the evil but interesting Bellatrix Lestrange. I loved seeing Harry, Hermione and Ron growing up. They shouldn’t have to save the world at their ages but they know what they have to do and are willing to do it despite the danger involved. At the same time, they aren’t able to avoid the usual challenges of adolescence: jealousy, insecurity, trying to figure out how to tell someone you like them.

Above all, Harry Potter is about magic and even if most of the magic at this point is grey/black and evil, it is still exciting. The special effects do what they are supposed to and they do it well without overwhelming the movie. The action scenes are fast-paced and gripping.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this movie and would say it’s a great bet for Potter fans. A caution, though, if you are just entering the Potter world. This is not the place to start your adventure. Begin at the beginning and you will find yourself here eventually and much better prepared to enjoy this bumpier part of the ride.

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Dexter: In the Beginning

Alex: "What's this going to cost? Give me a number!"
Lumen: "Thirteen."

Powerful, intense, moving, and here's a descriptor I don't usually apply to a Dexter episode -- deeply romantic.

Stargate Universe: Visitation

... in which the crew members left behind on the obelisk planet mysteriously turn up on Destiny’s doorstep.

The New Fall Season Thanksgiving Roundup

It's Thanksgiving week in the states, and time to talk about what has turned out to be a disappointing fall season. I will avoid the predictable comment about turkeys.

We covered several premieres this fall, and there was only one show that we decided to take on and review every week. That's kind of sad. I was really hoping I'd fall in love with something new, since this is Smallville's last season and I have a reviewing slot opening up soon. Oh, well.

With Josie's and Dimitri's help, here is a rundown of the new fall season, such as it was. We're using a new rating system created by Dimitri: WATCH IT, SKIP IT, or catch it when there's nothing else on but a Simpsons rerun of an episode you think you might have seen before but they've all started to meld in your mind and just how many times has Marge discovered she had a gambling problem anyway, if they're going to recycle plots, how can I be expected to keep up, oh, wait this isn't the Simpsons, it's Family Guy (CATCH IT WHEN THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON for short).

And the winner is...
The Walking Dead

Isn't it interesting that the best new show this fall is a zombie apocalypse on AMC? There's a lesson in there for the networks. Will they absorb this lesson? I don't think so. Anyway.

The pros: I really enjoy end-of-the-world stories, but let's face it, they usually suck. The Walking Dead does not suck. It's exciting, intense and character-driven. The end of the world and the zombies themselves are used beautifully as the basis for a story about survival, humanity and morality, and they're not going for the predictable. The lead, Andrew Lincoln as Rick, is definitely the guy I would vote for as The Man I Would Most Want to Be With During a Zombie Apocalypse.

AMC, a network previously known for showing censored old movies, has become the home of exceptional original television: Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and now The Walking Dead. They are cornering the market on quality, and I applaud them. Seriously. I didn't even notice that Rubicon didn't work out.

The cons: Only six episodes? Six? That's it? The Walking Dead has wowed the critics (including us) and has already been renewed, so we're getting a second season. But unfortunately, we'll have to wait for it.

The verdict: WATCH IT. Don't miss this one, genre fans. I'm happy to report that Dimitri is reviewing this show, and I'm proud to have it on the site.


The Event

As I mentioned in my review of the pilot episode, I am leery of any new high concept show with a convoluted plot that bills itself as 'the new Lost'. By trying to emulate the complexity of Lost, they run the risk of never finding their own identity. I was disappointed in the pilot, mostly because the jumping around in time thing was stupid and confusing.

The pros: It's gotten more interesting as the weeks have progressed, and I'm happy to report that they're no longer subjecting us to fifteen time periods at once, meaning the flashbacks are much easier to follow now. And there seems to be a new science fiction element added every week, which is good because I'm all about the science fiction elements. I'm still watching this show, although I'll admit it tends to sit on my DVR a long time. (It's sitting there now, as I type.)

The cons: I have yet to connect strongly with a single character on this show. I've recently started sort of liking undercover alien agent Simon Lee (Ian Anthony Dale) and government-bigwig-with-a-tragic-past Blake Sterling (Zeljko Ivanek), probably because they've gotten some interesting character arcs. But the two cute young leads, Shawn and Leila (Jason Ritter and Sarah Roemer), have *not* gotten interesting character arcs, and they both leave me cold; I just don't care about them. And when you don't care about the two cute young leads, that's not good.

The Verdict: CATCH IT WHEN THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON. It was announced recently that The Event will be going on a long hiatus while its network uses its timeslot to promote another show. This is a harbinger of doom, people; it's giving me FlashForward vibes. So I would advise not getting too attached to this show.

Undercovers

I almost didn't bother including Undercovers, since it's already been canceled. But I'd already written most of this section before the cancellation was announced, and why waste several perfectly good paragraphs?

The pros: Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Gerald McRaney, and Carter MacIntyre. And a strong pilot. I loved the premiere and thought it had potential.

The cons: Unfortunately, the follow-up episodes didn't go anywhere; they basically kept doing the pilot over and over again. As the episodes progressed, I became bored, and stopped watching right before the show was canceled.

What went wrong?

(1) Undercovers stayed frothy, old-fashioned and predictable; there was no edge, no depth, no arc. And surprisingly, no spicy marital conflict, which I'd automatically assumed would have to be the core of the series in order to make it work.

I understand that they had planned to introduce more arc-like elements later in the first season. But I'm not sure that doing it sooner would have helped, because (2) I never warmed up to Boris Kodjoe as Steven Bloom. As the episodes progressed, I found myself wishing Samantha had married Leo Nash (Carter MacIntyre) instead, because he was more likable and interesting than Steven. Except that he probably wouldn't have worked as a romantic lead.

The Verdict: SKIP IT. And I hate saying that.


Hawaii Five-O

Why am I even talking about Hawaii Five-O? It's not science fiction, fantasy or cult; it's a network cop show. Except that it's a network cop show with three actors from my favorite genre shows. And it's getting better.

The Pros: As I just mentioned, I love the cast: Daniel Dae Kim (Lost), Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica), and Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight). O'Loughlin in particular. He's a charismatic actor and undeniably hot; I like him so much that I've rented his Australian movies, and they even let him keep most of his tattoos. It seemed at first that O'Loughlin was a poor choice for Steve McGarrett, since his strengths are comedy and romance. But in the past few weeks, the writers have wisely begun lightening McGarrett up, mostly in banter scenes with the wonderful Scott Caan, who is a stand-out as the fourth cast member, Danno.

Since I'm nattering on about the actors, I have to mention that in the first string of episodes, the guest stars have included actors from Buffy, Wonderfalls, 24, Supernatural, Heroes, Dollhouse, and Alias, and there was an obvious petite homage to Lost (the huts on the beach, complete with blue tarps). Can this be a coincidence? Usually, network mainstream show runners don't give a crap about genre shows and genre fans.

(Except Castle. The writers/producers are obviously aware of how wonderful Nathan Fillion is and that his fan base includes genre fans; accordingly, they began writing to highlight his acting strengths and have included several lovely homages to Firefly. The last episode was a parody of the X-Files, too.) (Did I just plug Castle? Yes, I did. I did indeed.)

So back to Hawaii Five-O. I did some research (okay, I checked IMDB) and the three executive producers of Hawaii Five-O are Alex Kurtzman / Roberto Orci (Star Trek, Fringe, Alias, Xena/Hercules) and Peter M. Lenkov (24, La Femme Nikita). The executive producers of Hawaii Five-O are geeks like us. Mystery solved.

Hawaii itself is a main character on Hawaii Five-O; the scenery is striking and the locations don't look like anything else on the tube. And it has what might be the best theme music in television history. Seriously. Pretty people, explosions, Hawaiian scenery, what's not to love?



(Well, maybe it's the second best theme song on television. I love this one even more.)

The Cons: It's a cop show. It will never be more than a cop show. I don't usually watch cop shows. Why? Because they're cop shows. I can hope for time travel, robots and vampires, but I know it's not gonna happen. Or if it does, it'll be a bizarre and groundbreaking cop show, and wouldn't that be cool?

The Verdict: For now, CATCH IT WHEN THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON. But I suspect Hawaii Five-O is slowly turning into a WATCH IT.

(Here is Jess's review of the pilot.)


Nikita

I dropped the new Nikita after the pilot aired, almost certainly because I was unwilling to adjust to a Michael who wasn't Roy Dupuis. So I've hit up Dimitri A.C. Ly for his opinion, since he reviewed the pilot and is still watching the show.

Dimitri says...

The Pros: As expected, the CW has taken active steps to iron out some of the kinks in the pilot, redefining Nikita and Michael's miscast romance as a lost friendship and introducing a new love interest for the heroine: the hand that killed her husband (scrumptious melodrama)! Nikita also has more of an ensemble feel now, devoting two thirds of every episode to Alex and her Division antics. Even Percy got a bit of a personality makeover, no longer the cackling villain but a man too willing to compromise so as to maintain a status quo that may yet save the world. After all, the alternative would be to let the new baddies Gogol take over. Three-ways are fun.

The Cons: Simply put, Nikita isn't likable. It took me six days to get through the first ten minutes of "Phoenix" because I couldn't bring myself to care about the heroine's smarmy one-liners and superior attitude. It doesn't help that the whole series rests on her having sent a seventeen-year-old on a virtual suicide mission. Every time she misses a distress message from Alex (which happens a lot), part of me feels like calling social services. Luckily, it always turns out Division doesn't supervise its trainees, even though they're all criminals and junkies held against their will. Didn't you know? Suspension of disbelief is an Olympic event over at the CW.

Nikita got a full season order, but the CW intends to retool the show even further. So far, the network's done a solid job, but patches can only take you so far before you end up with another Bionic Woman.

The Verdict: CATCH IT if you think Hellcats would be 73% more awesome with machine guns.


Boardwalk Empire

I'm also not watching Boardwalk Empire because I dropped HBO after this season of True Blood ended. Josie Kafka is watching it, though, so the next voice you hear will be hers.

Josie says...

The pros: Steve Buscemi. Kelly MacDonald. A billion great secondary characters. Even Michael Pitt (playing Jimmy Darmody) no longer feels like a cut-rate Leonardo DiCaprio. BE is gorgeously shot, with taut writing, skilled direction, and a great score. The personal and political developments of the Atlantic City hotshots are crafted as elegantly as anything in Deadwood or Mad Men, and the historical details are delightful without bogging the story down. I'm most taken by Buscemi (because I adore him) and MacDonald, whose character is fascinatingly complex. However...

The cons: ... I'm not sure MacDonald's Margaret Schroeder is supposed to be quite as complex as she is. Men who make movies or films about gangsters aren't known for their attention to the female sex as anything other than lovers, mothers, or shrieking harridans who tell you to vanfanculo yourself. Margaret's character is either a fascinating study in the disconnect between how the male characters see women (and how we, as viewers, expect women in this genre to be portrayed) and how complicated they actually are, or the writers are trying to cram every possible aspect of The Female Self into one tiny Irish woman.

Other cons: Sometimes the symbolism is a bit weighty; ditto for the dialogue. Even if I don't intend to review a show, I still like to pick out which quote I'd use as my running headline for a review. Nearly every line and every conversation is headline-worthy. Not a bad thing, but it would be pleasant to see the show loosen up a bit.

The Verdict: WATCH IT. It is a beautiful and well made show. The characters and stories are compelling. The attention to period detail is astonishing, as are the clothes. Sometimes it feels a bit too flawless -- like one of those fabulous cakes it seems a shame to cut into, much less eat. But if high-gloss perfection is the biggest problem, then Boardwalk Empire is still a masterful show.

------

That's it, folks. What do you think of the new fall season? What are you watching, and what have you already dropped? Will The Event get a second season, and do you care?

And to everyone in the states: Happy Thanksgiving!

Chuck: Chuck versus Phase Three

“I’m just a needy, love-crazed girl on a husband hunt who’s trained in over 200 ways to kill you.”

As a card-carrying feminist (yes, we have cards; no, they are not pink), former riot grrl, and reviewer preoccupied with the male gaze, I only have one thing to say about this adventure into the tougher side of femininity, this blatantly sexy portrayal of female power in short shorts and covered in water, this intermixing of female vengeance and an ass-kicking hottie:

Awesome.

This could have gone one of two ways. The bad way, in which I stared in dismay at my screen, feeling shut out of the near-pornographic representation of a woman fighting in skimpy clothes—the way, in other words, that was about Sarah as a visual pleasure for male viewers. The good way (the way it actually went down) made me want to be Sarah, kicking ass and not even bothering to take names.

That’s what all those she-male jokes were about: they represented the other point of view. But the Chuck powers that be managed to make this about a person with a nice rack and a great butt doing some serious damage—only a puerile mercenary would think this was a situation in which a woman was taking on a man’s role. We, and Casey, know that it’s just Sarah being incredibly cool.

In other news: Chuck’s dream sequences were touching, especially the scene of Sarah walking (Sarah Walker, see?) out on him with her rolly suitcase. But I’m glad that Chuck took a backseat this week, even though it meant that we didn’t get a chance to test the fan theory that Chuck’s love for Sarah will make him flash, even though his fear of death didn’t.

Morgan continued to play messenger boy between Chuck and Sarah. Morgan’s good at this, but Chuck and Sarah need to work on communicating honestly and openly—they are not in a threesome with Morgan, and the biggest hurdle to their relationship continues to be their inability to take the risks that honesty involves. C’mon, kids! You fight Baddie the Belgian, but are afraid of opening up?

Chuck and Sarah's reunion was sweet, and now Chuck knows that Sarah loves him, but it didn't resolve the question of what Sarah thinks of Chuck's spy abilities. Does that not matter?

Morgan and Casey’s romance, however, is doing well. Communication is no problem for them, and they both bring a lot of useful knowledge to the relationship: Morgan’s the heart and Casey is the brains (and the brawn) of the coupling. I think those two kids just might make it work.

The BuyMore plot didn’t jibe, at all, with the A-plot this week, but it continued to set up developments for later in the season. Awesome and Ellie—they didn’t just subject themselves to another Intersect download, did they? (No, surely not. Right?) Papa B seems to have anticipated Mama B’s moves; judging from the previews, we’ll find out more next week.

Bytes:

• Awesome: “Did your dad’s ride get five out of five stars in side-impact protection?” Product placement, yes. But still something that Awesome would say.

• Morgan: “I’ve had this awful taste in my mouth ever since Chuck disappeared. Which makes me think that, wherever he is, he’s eating something icky. It’s a strange twin thing.”

• Thai Guy: “It’s amazing what a woman will do to find a husband.”

• Jeff: “Four words: my abscess, Lester’s gout.”

• Morgan: “I overshare to connect. I’m a connector.”

• Sarah: “Anyone else wanna be my boyfriend?”

• Other Thai Guy: “The people have been talking much about the giant blond she-male.”

• Casey: “What’s with all the she-male jokes?”

• Morgan: “It’s okay now. Casey and I are here. Oh! Scary snake! Scary snake!”

• Morgan: “This is, like, a violation of my civil rights.”


And Pieces:

• So, losing the Intersect is like losing penis potency. Just remember, you heard it here first.

• When has the CIA ever cared about jurisdiction? We just saw them install a puppet government a few episodes ago!

• I loved Sarah walking into a Thai bar, speaking Thai, and then realizing that the entire bar was filled with white mercenaries.

• I also loved the BuyMorons trading medical advice for tech advice. I’m pretty sure that anyone who has ever lived without health insurance loved that, too.

• I’m going to leave it to all of you to note the numerous jungle-movie references in this episode. I know there were a lot, but I only caught the Apocalypse Now homage, which was equally well done in Hot Shots: Part Deux.


Four out of four scary snakes.

Glee: Furt

“Long story short – you’re having a Glee wedding.”

Great casting and acting, above average plotting, and an emphasis on music as part of the story make for the best Glee episode in a long while.

Fellowship of the Furt

The main plotline this week was the failing of Finn to defend his future brother-in-law then realising his mistake and apologises in true melodic Glee fashion. It was interesting that the girls all ended up asking their boyfriends to protect Kurt from Karofsky, since they could have made a more positive impact just talking to the bully. I liked Finn’s discomfort at Kurt teaching him to dance, it was understandable and believable. Given Finn’s previous hasty decisions (I’m going to worship a sandwich, I’m going to walk down the hallway in my boxers) his snap realisation of his brotherly responsibility, triggered by Carol’s words at the wedding made perfect sense. Seeing Kurt as a brother also helps Finn push aside fears about Kurt seeing him in a romantic light, as evidenced by his choice of a romantic song sung in a platonic way, at the wedding.

The Two Weddings

I enjoyed Kurt’s excitement about wedding planning, although I think most militant gays (if Kurt isn’t one, he certainly has the potential to be) are slightly ambivalent/tepid when it comes to weddings since they’re such a bone of contention in the fight for equal rights. I was surprised that Kurt didn’t even have a throwaway line about the massive irony of someone who can’t get married planning a wedding. Other than that, I thought this storyline was the Glees-knees! Burt and Carol had a great scene together at the altar, and I liked how they both embraced the originality of the wedding. I’d pay New Directions to pull off something similar at my own wedding (sorry, I mean Civil Partnership, ugh), they were amazing! The magical, happy feeling seemed to continue throughout the wedding due to the clever placing of the songs all in close succession – well done writers. Finn’s speech and song were schmaltzy but once I’d accepted that he really had gotten over being freaked out by Kurt’s crush on him, it was pretty adorable.

Carol Burnett was pretty well cast as Sue’s Nazi hunting mum, and did a good job of seeming slightly more pleasant than the words she was saying suggested. But Jane Lynch really didn’t need any support in this storyline – she was just brilliant, especially in the wedding rehearsal. The ridiculous vows and the kissing, and oh my goodness, the dress! It was just hilarious, in that unique Sue way. But there was a possible serious aspect underneath (Deep underneath, I’m searching here!) it all. Perhaps Sue really does worry about dying alone, and needs to remind herself she is worth marrying in order to maintain her impressive but fragile aura of confidence. We all need to be happy in our own life before we can share it with someone else.

The Return of the Bully

It’s clever that the most menacing bullying scene with Kurt and Karofsky involved no physical or verbal violence at all. Well done Glee for realising that the true misery of bullying is all psychological. Although I slightly want to shout at the TV for having Will and Sue be all supportive and proactive now, when that’s what they should have done two weeks earlier, it makes sense from Kurt’s perspective. Even though nothing Happened to him this week, inside his head things are worse now than ever before. That first discussion in the Principal’s office was informative and interested While New Directions and Principal Sue did their best to protect Kurt, even going a little bit over the top (no Headteacher would ever resign in protest, come on), the atmosphere in McKinley is one where Kurt is afraid every day. I think he’s a little bit of a delicate flower who needs to man up, just like Finn did. He is porcelain, easily cracked. I hope Blaine isn’t happy about Kurt’s transfer, since Kurt is just running away really. However, from a character perspective, it makes perfect sense for Kurt to want to escape to his teenage dream.

Bits and Pieces:

Sue’s internet profile says she is passionate about Tantric Yelling. I heart her. I’m going to message her on eDesperate.com!

Why is Jessalyn Gilsig still in the credits? And why is Chord Overstreet only a guest star?

WRRRAAAHH, the Bieste is in full force this week. I love it when she shouts. Tantric yelling, anyone?

Why didn’t Kurt tell Sue and co about Karofsky being in the closet? Fear? Surely not sympathy!

Santana’s short subplot seemed too easily wrapped up when she saw Finn and Rachel exchanging loving looks at the wedding. I assume Rachel will find out in the near future.

Mike O’Malley always does a stellar acting job, wow.

Nice to see Sue’s sister, Jean – shame she didn’t get to pack a more powerful emotional punch at the rehearsal. What kind of monster, oops I mean mother would abandon her disabled daughter for 3 years?

No Blaine; I missed him. Very little Will; I didn’t miss him. Good pipes though.

Sectionals is next week?!

We had more than 15 minutes without any songs this week. That’s a lot for Glee. It’s also unusual for them to end the episode without a song. It really worked, because the songs were bunched together for a reason and all of them contributed to the story (more or less). I hope Glee continues to make the most of its new fewer songs format.

Glee Against the Music:

Ohio – Wonderful Town:
“...well those Nazis are slippery and me hunting ‘em way down in Lima, Peru...”
I enjoyed the harmonies, and it fit perfectly into the story. Grade B.

Marry You – Bruno Mars:
Lovely song, and it had a very Glee feel to it. Really well choreographed with all the kids coupled up. It was just so much fun, in a very classy way too. Did I mention I want to book New Directions? A

Sway – Pablo Beltrán Ruiz:
Matthew Morrison has a very smooth voice, and he did a great job on the vocals for this. B-

Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars:
Well, Mr Mars just has a plethora of wonderful songs doesn’t he? Glee has a habit of taking ambiguously romantic songs and emphasising the platonic element to the lyrics (done wonderfully with I Want to Hold Your Hand), and it really worked well in this instance. This song basically ticked all the boxes. Catchy, beautiful, great vocals, good choreography, integrated into the plot. Grade A.

Quotes for Gleeks:

Rod Remington: “Sue, you can’t tame the tiger - you’ve read my tattoos.”

Sue: “... which is why I just prefer to think of the homeless as outdoorsy. So shine on urban campers, you smell like adventure! And that’s how Sue sees it!”

Finn: “..are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors – won’t that get kind of messy?”
Kurt: “That’s why we feed them glitter, Finn.”

Kurt: “You know when you call me Lady, that’s bullying, and it’s really hurtful.”
Sue: “I’m sorry, I thought that was your name. As an apology I’ll allow you to choose from the following nicknames; Gelfling; Porcelain and Tickle-me-Doughface.”

Doris Sylvester: “Oww! You poked me in my sternum. I always forget that you have this ribcage that’s kind of weird, and adorable.”

Doris Sylvester: “... but I said no, no, no, no. She’s a perfectly ok child. She’ll grow into her looks! And you know what? I believe you still might.”

Mike: “Dude was a wild animal.”
Artie: “Manimal.”
Brittany: “I’m so turned on by you right now.”

Santana: “Don’t you see that that midget is like an anchor dragging you down to the depths of loserville?”

Burt: “You’re everything, Carol. Words can’t describe you, you’re Everything.”
Carol: “Most women when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me.”

Sue: “Mother, I cannot remember a conversation with you where I didn’t walk away feeling worse about myself.”
Doris: “Well you know what Susan? I’m disappointed in You!” HA, the cheek of it!

Kurt: “I’ve been planning weddings since I was two. My power rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac.” Quote of the week!

Four out of four white striped blue wedding dresses.

Being Human: Ghost Town

Annie: Oh okay, so I'm contemplating resolving my death so that I can move on to the next dimension and you're worrying about getting your leg over?

I did not like this episode. I was really hoping that I would, but I just found it really hard to agree with half of the things Annie did. Maybe it's because I don't like Owen. I don't know.

I usually adore Annie, but from the first scene in the kitchen, where she is crying over a parsley sauce maker, I just wanted to slap her and tell her to get over it. However, Mitchell and George had a far more logical idea: Get Annie out of the house to meet some more ghosts. I still think Annie needs a good slapping, however.

I did like Gilbert and his 'Gilbert Fun'. He's permanently stuck in the 80s, thinks fun is a 'bourgeois' concept and doesn't seem to care about how people see him. I think he's a much more suitable match for Annie, than Owen. I can't remember, but was it explained how Gilbert died? I wish he had stayed for another episode. Maybe one day. I don't know how he managed to deal with Annie's incessant moping over Owen. Gilbert was the only part of Annie's storyline that I liked in this episode.

I guess now with the revelation that Owen was the reason behind Annie's death, we're going to have to put up with more Owen. Great. If they give me more Mitchell and Lauren, I guess I can tolerate Annie and Owen. Barely.

Apparently, Herrick was the mastermind behind Lauren's vampire-porn movie, so that Mitchell would want Lauren and ultimately come back into the fold. Lauren switches her tune a couple of times. First she did it willingly for Mitchell, the next, she was forced to do it by Herrick. Lauren is so devious and manipulative, I find it hard to believe her. Mitchell does, though. Lauren seemed all too willing to get into the car with Seth at the end for me to believe she was that serious about changing and going dry. I guess we'll see. I don't think that video is going to disappear any time soon.

I got horribly distracted whenever I tried to write this review. I ate a mango for breakfast, I took my dog for a walk and I actually did the washing up. I guess it's because I couldn't find all that much to like in it. I liked George and Nina (although watching the scene with Wolf!George and Nina was a bit awkward with my dad in the room) and the Lauren / Mitchell storyline is getting interesting (Who else thought of Angel and Darla with that bathroom scene? The BBC doesn't hold much back when it comes to how graphic a scene is..) I just couldn't get emotionally invested with Annie's swanning about after Owen. It was a great revelation that Annie remembered that it was in fact Owen that killed her, but I didn't even like that enough to stay seated for long.

I'm hoping for better episodes in the future.


Bites and Pieces:

• George's remark about "smashing the granny" when the music stops. Oh, George. Nina must really like you.
• I really, really, really do not like Owen.
• Boiled ham with parsley sauce doesn't sound that enticing.
• Loved the scene between George and Mitchell on the couch. Hence the picture.
• I couldn't tell what book Gilbert was reading in the park. Any ideas?
• More shirtless Mitchell, please.
  

Quotes:

Mitchell: Owen's moved on with his life. You need to do the same.
Annie: I'm dead!

Mitchell: I never know with you if it's Jewish guilt or werewolf guilt.
George: They're pretty much the same thing.

George: And where have you been young lady?.
Annie: I met up with Gilbert. We went to the cemetery.
Mitchell: He knows how to show a girl a good time.

George: I'm not eating raw meat like an animal because a ghost is ovulating!

Mitchell: George, get your lead.

Annie: I'd like to be like his guardian angel and stop anything bad from happening to him.
Gilbert: Can you stop him from listening to Michael Buble?

George: I had sex with Nina last night and it was bloody marvellous!
Mitchell: [Takes George to one side] Annie was killed by Owen.
George: [Sighs] Five minutes. Could I not have had five minutes with the biggest news?


One out of four Moeli graters.

Morgan India.

(P.S. I'm heading up to the Northern Territory [YAY! Wolf Creek!] on the 7th of December and I'm going to be taking my laptop with me, so I will be able to continue writing BH reviews on the slow days (: )

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NewsFlash: Not Without Joss Whedon

It's no secret that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my favorite television show ever. It's the first show I ever reviewed in a comprehensive way, my first major television obsession, and the chief reason why this site exists at all. My old Buffy reviews get more hits on this site month after month than almost everything else. (Lost was the biggest hitter for awhile, but since it ended, Buffy has taken the lead again.)

Dexter: Teenage Wasteland

Barry: "What are you? Some kind of psycho?"
Dexter: "Not today. Just a concerned parent."

I was a bit frustrated at first that we stepped sideways into an episode of Parenthood, but by the end, I thought this was an excellent episode. Like nearly everything in this series, there was so much going on under the surface.

Smallville: Patriot

Lois: "The VRA is a steaming pile of Spanish Inquisition served up with a side of fear and loathing."

I have to say that Darkseid and his insidious gathering darkness thing is starting to intrigue me. It may very well be the most complex evil plot we've ever seen on Smallville. I always thought certain politicians were possessed by evil, anyway. In fact, this whole thing with the Vigilante Registration Act and the waterboarding (with an actual board) is giving me flashbacks to the Bush Administration.

Farscape: Durka Returns

When Moya accidentally clips a smaller transport ship, the crew meet the Nebari, a race that values conformity and obedience above all else, and have the ability to mentally cleanse those who behave inappropriately, including --- much to everyone’s shock --- Rygel’s presumed dead torturer, Captain Durka.

‘Durka Returns’ is a great episode. It starts off with a shocking twist, brings in a calmly terrifying new race, and introduces Chiana, our first newcomer to Moya’s crew since Crichton’s arrival. The opening teaser, alone, is better than the entire previous episode! Bringing Durka back was a really surprising move, and even though it’s horribly contrived that Moya just happens to damage the ship transporting Rygel’s not-so-dead arch-nemesis, the conflict between the two gives us some wonderfully tense moments. Here Rygel thought he had conquered his demons from his time on the Zelbinion, and they walked in his front door, turning him into an irrational, vengeance-driven soul. I rather enjoyed the “most superb irony” that Rygel’s attempts to destroy his enemy actually reawakened him. At least he semi-redeemed himself by refusing to be cowed by Durka, saving Aeryn’s life and buying Crichton some time to come up with a plan. “You tortured me without mercy, but you never broke me. You only made me stronger.” I’m sure getting a chance to show Durka that he no longer holds power over him was far more cathartic for Rygel than spitting on Durka’s supposed corpse. It remains to be seen if this changes him in the slightest. If nothing else, he earned a modicum of respect from Aeryn.

As strong as the Rygel/Durka interactions were, for me, ‘Durka Returns’ is most notable for introducing Chiana. I seem to recall not being overly fond of Chiana when she was initially introduced, but in retrospect, I’ve come to appreciate the different flavor she brings to the crew and I really enjoyed meeting her for the first time all over again. She’s a tough cookie and quite the little con artist. She hones right in on Crichton’s sympathies and plays him brilliantly to acquire the tool that allows her to slip the control collar. She almost gains the upper hand with Rygel, then adeptly hides from the others when he betrays her. I was really impressed with the bravado and quick thinking she showed when playing bait for Crichton’s trap with Durka. She was incredibly convincing, and I’m still not quite sure what gave him pause and caused him to fire at her. I was also blown away by the implied admission that she killed Salis. It would have been easy to leave that murder on Durka’s doorstep, but instead the writers chose to make Chiana just a little more dangerous and vengeful than she might have otherwise seemed. It certainly leaves us little doubt about how far she’ll go to “defend herself.”

In this case, can we really blame her? The Nebari may be the scariest race we’ve encountered thus far. Not only did their “standard host ship” take out a legendary Peacekeeper command carrier without breaking a sweat, they have absolutely no compunction about altering people’s brains to ensure that everyone behaves in ways they deem appropriate.

Chiana: “Mental cleansing into a … into an obedient zombie.”
Crichton: “They do that to their own kind?”
Chiana: “Yeah. They do that to anybody they please. They think they’re doing you a favor.”

In a series so focused on exploring individuals struggling with their identities, a race who’s raison d’etre seems to be turning their corner of the universe into a place devoid of conflict and individuality is truly frightening. We don’t really know Chiana at this point --- she could very well be a dangerous troublemaker for Moya’s crew --- but knowing that her people intended to completely erase her identity, we can empathize with her plight and maybe even excuse her murder of Salis as an act of self defense. Of course, now the crew has one more very powerful enemy to worry about.

Other Thoughts

This is the second episode in a row in which Moya’s pregnancy is the impetus for the initial problem. “Now I understand why the Peacekeepers tried to prevent this pregnancy.”

I thought it was unfair and highly insensitive for Aeryn to call Rygel’s attitude towards Durka a “childish vendetta.” He was unjustly imprisoned and brutally tortured by Durka for cycles for goodness sake!

Of course, she got a small comeuppance when Durka dealt her worldview yet another blow. She went from nervous awe at meeting a true Peacekeeper legend to discovering he was a remorseless scumbag who abandoned his post to save his own skin. “You deserted your ship?” “I have done far worse in my time.” Is there anything about her Peacekeeper upbringing that she can believe in anymore?

I enjoyed the short throwdown between Zhaan and Salis. “There are many aspects of your character that would benefit from adjustment.” The look Zhaan gives him in response scared me a bit!

This episode was very visually interesting. The numerous hallway tracking shots made great use of the ribbed architecture of the corridors to create intensity and a sickening feeling of vertigo.

Durka taking the time to give himself a neat trim with just that knife strained credulity a bit.

Quotes

Rygel: “A million cycles will not change him. He will always be Durka!”

Crichton: “I don’t give a damn if she’s an axe murderer, Elvis. She was just talkin’ to me.”
Salis: “You crippled our ship. Endangered our lives. Disrupted our plans. Are you now the arbiter of our justice system as well?”

Crichton: “They’re pretty worried about you.”
Chiana: “Of course they are. I don’t respect authority. I do what I want, when I want to do it.”

Chiana: “I apologize for calling you a toad.”
Rygel: “I make allowances for stress on this ship.”

Crichton: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nebari mental cleansing doesn’t get the tough stains out.”

Crichton: “Look, I don’t have time to play this game. Durka’s gone Hannibal Lecter on us.”
Chiana: “I don’t know what that means.”

Durka: “I was going to use you for a bargaining tool. But now I’m wondering: do you think your shipmates would really care if I just burned your face right off?!”
Rygel: “Go ahead and find out. I don’t care. Because the all-powerful Durka is a failure.”

Chiana: “… or maybe it’s to my advantage to team up with him.”
Crichton: “Do you have a hearing problem, Chiana? Durka’s insane. He’s a psychopath. Legendary. And nobody knows what a hundred years of Happy Meals have done to him. You could end up with your throat cut.”

Rygel: “Don’t you dare thank me for saving your life.”
Aeryn: “I wasn’t going to.”
Rygel: “You weren’t? Why not?”

Crichton: “We have rules.”
Chiana: “Yeah? Well when I see any of you following them, so will I.”

Final Analysis: I’d been very much looking forward to revisiting ‘Durka Returns,’ and it didn’t disappoint. A tense showdown with an old nemesis and an intriguing introduction to a new character.

Supernatural: Clap Your Hands If You Believe

Dean: "I had a close encounter, Sam. And I won."
Sam: "You should take a shower."

Can a post-Kripke Supernatural still do an outstanding comedy episode? Survey says... yes. In fact, this might be my first episode review to consist entirely of quotes.

Fringe: The Abducted

“We all have to make sacrifices.”

So now Olivia knows that Broyles knows what she knows. Walternate knows that Olivia knows what he worried she knew. And Peter knows what he didn’t know (despite my theory that he did know): he knows that what he thought he knew is wrong. The question is: when will Fauxlivia know what Peter now knows, and what will she do with that knowledge?

Being Human: Tully

George: How did you find me?
Tully: You're a werewolf living in Bristol. It kinda narrows the field.

After a pretty good first episode, I have to admit I wasn't exactly expecting a completely stellar second episode. I was right, for the most part. Except for Tully. He was probably one of the only reasons why I watched this episode again.

While the first episode was primarily about Mitchell, Herrick, Lauren and other vampires, it is clearly understandable that they [the writers] would then take a stab (pun intended) at a werewolf storyline, so that we could get to know George and his temporary use of the third-person.

It took me a while to realise that we had seen Tully in the previous episode, when George was running through the woods to find a place to transform and Tully is leaning against a tree. He reminds me of a bad-arse version of Phil Collins and as most of my friends will attest, considering the amount of times I've belted out 'You'll Be In My Heart' very loudly (alcohol was a factor), that that is not such a bad thing.

George has been having a bit of a hard time dealing with his transformations, especially after he pretty much destroyed the house in the first episode. I don't think I would have reacted as ... rationally as George did when he woke up in the woods to find Tully staring over him, while he was buck naked. I like that they haven't made werewolves pretty and cuddlesome-looking like they have in some films which I won't mention, but it is fairly obvious what particular movie I am talking about. I hope. Tully is the sort of guy who looks like he could be a werewolf, or a predator of some kind, anyway; especially with his interaction with the waitress in the pub? I think it was a pub. George, fairly understandably, isn't a huge fan of Tully initially, although it is the opposite when it comes to Annie and Mitchell. Tully is charming and friendly to George's flatmates, while George just plain exudes animosity towards his fellow wolf..

I thought it was nice how Tully taught George how to look after himself while he is in wolf form. In hindsight, it is Tully's retribution for what he did to George, by being the cause of George being cursed to be a nightwalker. Although Tully lost points with me for pushing himself onto Annie the way he did. I hope we see more of Tully in the future (no spoilers in the comments, please), because I think he, and the actor playing him, to be amazing. Tully reminds me of someone from another sci-fi show, most likely Buffy, but I can't remember who. Probably Whistler. It's all about the hat and the tracksuit.

I have to admit that I didn't initially like Nina all that much when she is first introduced. She's rude to George and doesn't seem all that nice in general. George's awkward, stumbling attempt to hit on her in front of Tully was funny, though; I like her a lot more than I did Becca in the first episode. Hopefully she isn't going to be another typical blonde who is going to be killed at some point. She's feisty.

Now ... for the vampire porn video that was sent to Mitchell. Who else immediately knew it was Lauren? This can only have some sort of ramification between Lauren and Mitchell. And judging by the promo for the next episode, I'm going to like the results. I'm twisted, obviously. I love their relationship. Is Mitchell already going down a dark road after Becca's death at Lauren's hands, especially after those last few minutes, where Mitchell took the DVD out of the bin. Could be a bit unhygienic, Mitchell.

So, after finding out Tully's endgame for George, despite it being more an act of retribution rather than malice, George ended his bromance with Tully, in a scene almost replicating the first scene between the werewolves. I think my heart broke a bit in that scene. George needs more guys in his life. Having Mitchell and Annie (And Nina) cannot be healthy for him. But having his, well ... Maker, around, probably isn't any healthier. It's not going to be as adorable and romantic as Eric and Godric in True Blood.

If anyone call tell me who played Tully, I'd appreciate it. I think I've found my new older guy fantasy ;)

Bites and Pieces:

• The Vin Diesel obsessed neighbour reminded me of myself. Except I talk about Jensen Ackles.
• I wish they had shown Tully and George walking the chicken carcass around.
• I cringed when Mitchell and Annie kissed. No. No. No. Do not want. Mitchell and Lauren, please.
• Lauren's line about Hotel California: "You can check out, but you can never leave." Probably one of my favourite lines this episode.
• Seriously, Tully = Phil Collins in a track suit. I can't be the only one who sees this?

QUOTES:

Mitchell: [Voice-over] He should be dead within 30 seconds. The werewolf heart is about two-thirds the size of a human's. But in order to shrink, first it has to stop. In other words, he has a heart attack. All of the internal organs are smaller, so while he's having his heart attack, he's having liver and kidney failure too. If he stops screaming it's not because the pain has dulled, his throat, gullet and vocal chords are tearing and reforming. He literally can't make a sound. By now the pituitary gland should be working overtime, flooding his body with endorphins to ease some of the pain, but that too has shut down. Anyone else would have died of shock long ago. But it won't kill him and that's the thing I find most remarkable. It drags him through the fire and keeps him alive and even conscious to endure every second. Nothing like this could just evolve. This... is the fingerprint of God. An impossible lethal curse spread by tooth and claw, victim begets victim begets victim. It's so cruel, it's... perfect.

George: We have to put a stop to this. Doesn't he understand, these people are British? You're not allowed to talk to your neighbours until you've nodded at them for fifteen years.
[My dad is from England. He thought that line was funny, he does that here, too]

Lauren: And the blood Mitchell. Can you remember the taste? So rich and warm. You can have it again. As much as you want.
Mitchell: I can't, the cost is too high.
Lauren: Please! Who are you saving, really? Have you seen Britain's Got Talent?

Mitchell: He's a twat!
George: Well he's my twat!
Mitchell: You know, I'm sure that sounded much better in your head.

George: Do you know the difference between you and [Tully]?
Mitchell: Mmm, I don't know, I don't have to shave my palms?
George: I, I think that's actually racist.

Annie: Maybe he's had a blow to the head.
George: I'm sorry?
Annie: Happened to my Nan. She got hit in the head by a radio controlled plane at a county fair. From that moment - obsessed with pygmy goats.
George: There wasn't a single bit of that sentence I understood.

Mitchell: We can't just dip our toe! We have to dive into the churn of humanity. Laugh with them, listen to their stories.
George: About Vin Diesel?
Mitchell: A remarkable man, I'm starting to realise.
[Good analogy of humanity being chum, whilst George and Mitchell are obviously the implied sharks]

George: Look, don't try to understand George.
Annie: George? George who?
George: Me!

Three out of four chicken carcasses.

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Glee: The Substitute

Will: “Tell me again about this life with no consequences?" Holly: "It's kind of awesome!"

Glee tackles healthy eating in schools and the importance of the work/play balance as teachers. New Principal Sue’s years long quest for power finally bears fruit and Terri the shrew returns, hurrah!

A New Holly

The concept of a substitute is perfect for a celebrity guest star and for a standalone episode, in those respects Gwyneth Paltrow helped concoct a great, fun episode. The only problem is that Glee is always fun and always a fantasy, so it didn’t really need an episode that was light on heavy and heavy on comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but found myself being mildly annoyed that there were relatively few songs and they were all pure escapist fun. Glee is always ridiculous, it’s always escapism. There’s no need to set out specifically to make it so. What is with the Tweeting? That wouldn’t work as a praise mechanism, Holly. Borrow Rachel’s gold stars!

The Principal Strikes Back

Yay for Sue! I have missed her in the past few episodes. Hilarious that her elevation to Principal (Headmistress to us across the pond in Blighty) came as a result of her using bio weaponry (a sick student) and that Becky is her new PA. Will this last into next week? I think we have only seen the tip of the power Sue would want to wield as head of the school. Granted, Will was forced to leave the club (must be Tuesday) but it had no real repercussions. Come on writers, make Sue even more villainous, I’ll still adore her!

Return of the Terri

Terri was great in this episode, I enjoyed her creepy baby talk and the fact that she was a vehicle for another Really bad decision from Will. I mean, Jessalyn Gilsig is gorgeous but did the monkey flu make Will’s brain relocate to his groin? What on earth was he thinking? If he knew it was a mistake as soon as it happened, why did he do it? Especially after hearing she was in therapy and on medication. My sympathy for Will is gone. Oh well, if it means Terri is sufficiently aggravated to come back with a vengeance soon, I’m not complaining. Ms Gilsig is very believable in her awfulness, and I mean that as a compliment! Not just anyone could play someone that crazy, and make it ring true.

Not sure what to make of the Kurt and Mercedes subplot, apart from that I loved the “gay gay gay” tiny handbag hallucination. I sometimes worry that I talk about the gay plots on Glee too much - it’s nice of the writers to acknowledge that gay issues are sometimes all Kurt’s character is used to explore. By the way, almost no gays actually read Vogue do we? I don’t! Also, what does Mercedes being obsessed with tots and hanging out with Kurt have to do with her not having/wanting a boyfriend? Maybe if she had been shown in previous episodes to still have feelings for him, this plot would have made more sense, but as it is it just felt like two separate plot threads tied together sloppily.

Bits and Pieces

--Loved the slow-mo sneeze onto Figgins! Poor Figgins.

--Why were there scallops on the TV?

--Awwwww mini Glee kids! So adorable.

--Sick baby role play with anal temperature probe? Whoa, way to turn on the freaky, Terri!

--Mercedes glee (ha) at seeing freshly cooked tots was a bit unsettling – are they really that good? I’mma have to get me some tots!

--Conjunction-junction, what’s your function - Amazing! Apparently this is an actual song from something called Schoolhouse Rock! but I don’t think it really counts toward the music in this episode.

--Sue’s face when Bieste asked who the Cheerios would be cheering if the football team was cut – priceless.

--All that waste throwing the tots away! Hideous.

--What a flimsy pretence of a menthol massage for Terri to seduce Will.... I should try that!

--Hurrah, the jokes about Will’s hair are back. I was beginning to think Sue was losing her touch.

--Of course Sue has a Le Car, it fits perfectly with her.

--Glee certainly doesn’t go for realism when it comes to sets and backdrops for the numbers, does it? An LED wall and a rain machine? But I don’t care, it’s a fantasy and it’s great to watch!

Glee Against the Music:

“Forget You” – Cee-Lo:
Santana: “What would you know about Cee-Lo, you’re like forty.”
Holly: “Top forty sweetcheeks, Hit it!”
Just a generally Fun song really! Obviously, it is a top forty song and could have been replaced by anything and it had no impact on the plot, but it was great fun. Gwyneth Paltrow is a great performer, who knew. I liked that everyone joined in, but wasn’t it Puck’s suggestion, shouldn’t he have had a solo? Grade B+

“Make Em Laugh” – Donald O'Connor (Singing in the Rain):
If you didn’t know this was from Singing in the Rain (like me) I’m sure you had an initial “Huh?” moment. Maybe they should have prefaced it with a brief clip of Will snoozing while watching the film. After that wore off I loved it. Awesome dancing on their knees and off the side of the stage. Again, No relation to the plot! Grade B

"Nowadays/Hot Honey Rag" – Chicago:
Pretty similar to the film and stage versions really, and performed to a similarly high standard by Holly and Rachel. I did enjoy it but definitely noticed the age gap between the two. Again, no relation to the plot and pretty replaceable, but good fun. Grade B

“Singin' in the Rain/Umbrella” - Various/Rihanna:
Pretty awesome mash-up. Not much else to say, other than it must have been really fun to perform. I want a rain machine! Oh wait, I live in England, I can just step outside. Grade A-

Quotes for Gleeks:

Sue: “My years long quest for power has finally borne fruit”

Sue: “First order of business, destroy the Glee club!”
Will: “I thought we were friends?”
Sue: “That got boring!”

Baby Rachel: “Mr Shue, I for one think that we should use our set list for Sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of one Bernadette Peters”
Baby Brittany: “Someday I’m gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre!”

Terri: “I was really good at taking care of you when you were sick”
Will: “That’s because you like me best when I’m weak”
Terri: “Maybe! That’s what my therapist said”

Holly: *in Spanish* “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab” – made five times funnier by the fact that she had just told them it was five times. Five times?!?!

Kurt: “You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless.”

Rachel: “Well, at least I didn’t fall and break my talent!”

Britanny: “I’m Mike Chang.”
Holly: “Those aren’t your names. You know how I know that?”
Britanny: “You’re psychic”

Sue: “Becky get your fanny in here and bring your pad”

Sue: “You know what this is?”
Mercedes: “Toilet brush.”
Sue: “It’s broccoli. When I showed this to Brittany earlier she began to whimper thinking I had cut down a small tree where a family of Gummi bears lived”

Holly: “Oh, Puckerman here are the answers to the pop quiz I’ll be giving in Spanish class later, it is So boring in there”
Puck: “Thanks Miss H!”
Holly: “Righteous!”

Kurt: “He’s a wide receiver on the football team, he’s very handsome and he’s a member of the black student union”
Mercedes: “Any non-black activities?”
Kurt: “I don’t know, my google search was a little...”
Err, what about the football team thing Mercedes? And he is very handsome!

Cameo: “What are you, some kind of magician substitute? I’m a Christian, and that devil magic stuff offends me!”
Holly: “Cameo!” thunk.

Sue: “ You irritate me William. You make the underflaps of my breasts burn. Like when I used to rub them with poison sumac. But your kids sure love you...”

Britanny: “Mr Shue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I felt they were too similar and got frustrated”

Sue: I suggest you start selling yourself on Craigslist under the heading of "Men seeking men with butt-chins."

Holly: Mary Todd Lincoln in the house! My husband was probably gay and I'm bipolar which makes me yell things like "That teapot is spreading lies about me!" or "That can't be my baby because I don't love it!"

Holly: “Hi I’m Holly Holliday”
Terri: “Are you a porn star or a drag queen?” - Quote of the week.

A solid three out of four tater tots. I just googled – they’re hash browns! Now it all makes sense. I’m with you Mercedes!

Stargate Universe: Malice

... in which Rush must face the “unforeseeable consequences” of his actions of late, while much of Destiny’s crew struggles to cope in the wake of tragedy.

Smallville: Abandoned

Lois: "Aw, Shelby, come on. I am Watson to his Holmes, Cher to his Sonny. Just like you're Scooby to his Shaggy."

There were several intertwining stories in this episode: Lois's encounter with her long-dead mother, Clark seeing his biological parents for the first time as they really were, and Tess discovering the identity of her biological father. Guess which two stories I liked, and which one I didn't?

Chuck: Chuck versus the Fear of Death

“Neuroscience hurts.”

A friend of mine once gave me this niblet of relationship wisdom, courtesy of his mother: All men want to feel needed, and all women want to feel special. Chuck is a complex guy, though: he wants to feel both special—spy-worthy, that is—and needed by Sarah. What Chuck doesn’t understand is that it’s not the Intersect, or his massive brain that can handle the Intersect, that makes him special. It’s his ordinary qualities that make him seem exceptional to her, along with his sweetness and loyalty and humility.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Theme of the Week is castration, and the Symbol of the Week is Jeff’s tie getting chopped in two. Bear with me: I don’t mean actual castration—everyone gets to keep his penis! [Edited to add: and testicles!] I mean metaphorical castration. Chuck lost his Intersect, Casey lost his missions, Jeff and Lester…well, I won’t ponder what they lost or when they lost it. Both Chuck and Casey struggled with facing the loss of what seemed to define them.

For Casey, that loss was a revelation. For all of his bluster about an itchy trigger finger, Casey was most troubled by what he never thought he would possess, and so could never lose: his friends and family. As always, kudos to Adam Baldwin, who packed a huge emotional wallop into just one line about Afghanistan and Iraq. Just the way he sat up straight and drank his coffee…okay, I’ll stop mooning over him now.

Chuck, though, is stuck between a rock and a hard place: he wants to be a spy, “doing great things, doing them with [Sarah],” and he worries that without the Intersect he’ll lose the new identity he’s been building for the past four years. He worries he will no longer be special, no longer be needed.

We know that’s not really true. Chuck had some good ideas on his mission, even though he’s not an ace fighter. He’s perfectly capable of being a very effective spy without the Intersect—but neither he nor Sarah can see it. When Sarah declared that Chuck isn’t a spy, she hurt him. More importantly, she revealed to us that she doesn’t fully understand just how special Chuck really is.

That tension, between Sarah’s fears and Chuck’s dismay at knowing about those fears, is the real cliffhanger. Sure, Chuck’s been kidnapped by a fake-diamond-buying Belgian (Egad! Belgians!) who wants the Intersect (or maybe the info therein, I wasn’t quite clear on that). I suspect Chuck will survive the kidnapping. But will Chuck and Sarah survive her revelation?


Meanwhile, back at the BuyMore

Dr. Rye (or Rob Riggle, if you’re a Daily Show fan) tried physical, psychological, painful, brutal methods on Chuck, to no avail except comic relief. Jeff and Lester broke Greta almost instantly with their creepy creepiness.

I’d heard in the early part of the season that the writers would be inserting a Greta into most episodes, and that’s why I’ve been referring to the random one-off BuyMorons as Gretas, regardless of gender or nametag. That long, long set-up all led to this moment: Summer Glau. While I love Summer Glau, and I’m incredibly impressed by the way her legs seem to have grown to Amazonian lengths, the BuyMore plot felt sort of empty to me. Funny, yes. Relevant, not so much.

Although we did get a miniature Firefly reunion. That’s worth an entire subplot of set up, isn’t it?

Bytes: (I tried not to go too crazy with the list this time, so if I missed your favorite quote, add it in the comments!)

• Chuck: “Do you ever wonder if this is all life is going to be? BuyMore, Burbank. The best years behind us.”
Jeff: “Whoa, whoa! That sounds like candor.”

• Dr. Rye: “I don’t believe that the psychological rock can be hoisted off the Intersect by watching kittens play with yarn.”

• Chuck: “We are digging deep into his mind right now.”
Sarah: “It looks like he’s hitting you.”

• Chuck: “Aside from the fact the place is populated with a crowd of international psychopaths, the air is fresh, and the chocolate—so milky!”

• Chuck: “I’m not afraid of your phony Russian accent or your finger-gun, okay?”

• Lester: “We won’t be stopped, and we can’t be stopped, and we won’t be stopped.”

• Greta: “The psychotic one follows me with a webcam, narrating the tracking and hunt of the Greta marmot.”

• Dr. Rye: “Are you a spy, or are you a guy with a spy girlfriend?”

• Jeff: “Why did she transmogrify into a woodland creature?”

• Casey: “This is the best damn spy team in the world. We are strong.”

And Pieces

• I love the blatant Subway product placement. Thank you, Subway, for giving us more Chuck!

• Our tax dollars at work: Spies watching YouTube videos of kittens and idiots.

• Did the ceilings look really low in the scene with Chuck and Dr. Rye at about the 40 minute mark, including commercials? Or am I just not used to seeing ceilings, ever, on TV?

• How brilliant is it that the writers chose to soften Casey up not by giving him a love interest, but a daughter? He took her advice, too, about helping his friends.

A solid episode with lots of great emotional development. Sure, the BuyMore plot wasn’t great (but it had Summer Glau!) and the spy hijinks…well, they weren’t supposed to be important. It’s Chuck’s reactions to them and his situation that matter.

Three and a half out of four psychological rocks.

Dexter: Take It!

Dexter: "This is all much easier with a partner. But a partner in what?"

This must have been an amazing episode, because I kept saying "Wow" out loud while I was watching it.

Being Human: Flotsam and Jetsam

"Everyone dies. Actually, can I start that again? Everyone deserves a death. I was going to die of old age. That was the plan." - Annie.

You would think by now that people would be getting sick of shows featuring vampires and werewolves; and in honesty, Twilight initially ruined my love of the supernatural. However, with the slew of US supernatural shows such as True Blood, Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, it only seems to be fair for the UK to try and one-up all of these teen fan-based shows with one of their own.

Enter Being Human.

When I first heard of Being Human (BH), I had a horrible thought that it was going to be like a sit-com; the premise says it all: A vampire, werewolf and a ghost all live together in Bristol, England, while trying to live normal, social lives surrounded by 'normal' people.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Immediately, I fell in love with the series. The characters of Mitchell (vampire), George (werewolf) and Annie (ghost), instantly won me over. Especially Mitchell. I love Mitchell.

This episode of BH is more of an introduction to the characters, as well as bringing in the Big Bad, Herrick (and/or Lauren, depending on how you see it) and the impending Vampire Revolution. The Vampire Revolution sounds a lot like a British version of when the vampires 'came out' of the closet in True Blood. Except it's scary. And British-y.

The supernatural lore in BH isn't all that different to the lore on other supernatural shows, but thankfully it is a lot better than the lore seen in Twilight.

Vampire lore:

• Vampires can walk in the sun, but it hurts their eyes.
• Their eyes go black when they're all vampire-y.
• Vampires don't have to live on blood; Mitchell and Herrick both drink coffee, although their craving for blood is still as intense.
• Their body temperature is cold, so they wear layers and coats, etc. in the summer.

Werewolf lore:

• Werewolves only turn one night of the month, instead of the traditional three.
• Vampires consider werewolves to be dirty, inferior creatures.
• The process of a werewolf shifting looks extremely painful and a lot less fluffy than Twilight werewolves.
  

Ghost lore:

• Ghosts can be seen by humans at times, depending on their mood.
• They can't eat or drink.
• Ghosts can be seen by other supernatural creatures.
• They don't seem to be able to walk through walls.

For a show competing against US heavy-weight shows dealing with the same, supernatural lore and mythology, Being Human definitely holds it's weight. I love the fact that George doesn't look the typical way werewolves do in shows. He's nerdy, huggable and has no idea how to communicate with women (See Quotes). He's a puppy compared to his werewolf persona. The relationship between George, Mitchell and Annie tended to make me forget that I was watching a show about vampires, werewolves and ghosts, only to spring the supernatural on me when I wasn't expecting it.

And I love Mitchell.

Bites and Pieces

• While watching this episode the first time around, I thought Becca was going to become a love interest for George. Guess not.
• I love Lauren. I feel bad for her, but she makes a great, personal nemesis for Mitchell.
• Someone needs to shove a big wooden stake into Seth's ... heart.
• I don't like Owen, and Annie's fawning after him annoys me. Janey seems like a hoot, though.

Quotes

Mitchell: We've got work and then it's his time of the month.
Annie: Oh god, I used to hate that. Curl up on the sofa, Pride and Prejudice, if anyone spoke to me I'd bite their head off. Of course, that's probably likely for you. The, the biting.

Seth: What blood type is he - A positive? Bit Jacob's Creeky for my taste but there you go...

Mitchell: I'm sensing a trip to IKEA. You know my feelings on that.

Annie: Okay I've written a list of questions for you to ask him
Mitchell: [Reading the list] 'Are you screwing Janey Harris?
Annie: She always fancied him and believe me, if she knew when I died she'd have been here before the ambulance crew.
Mitchell: Aw, [Reading the list] 'Has my sister had a baby?'
Annie: They've been trying for ages. I blame her husband, his name's Robin and he works in a Post Office.

Herrick: [To Mitchell] How noble of you to take on the curse of immortality so that your friends could wither and decay in hospitals and old people's homes.

Lauren: Before I died I had this one odd last thought, and now I'm going to make it yours. You know all the things you were scared of as a kid, all the monsters under the bed? They're all real. [She blackens her eyes. George doesn't react] Okay I'm new to this but aren't you supposed to weep or scream or wee yourself?

George: You smell like a Polo .... Have you got a hole?

Three out of four undrunk cups of milky tea.

(I promise that the rest of my reviews will be less lengthy. Just had to get in all the lore (: )
Morgan India.

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Supernatural: All Dogs Go To Heaven

Sam: "I'd doublecross us."
Dean: "Thanks, Dexter. That's reassuring."

Are they going for the upfront symbolism this season or what? (You all got that Sam was the dog, right?)

Farscape: Jeremiah Crichton

After Moya’s pregnancy accidentally forces her to Starburst, Crichton is stranded on a nearby planet for three months, believing his shipmates abandoned him. When D’Argo and Rygel finally arrive to rescue him, Rygel is mistaken for a local deity who is expected to rise up and lead the people to the light.

I remembered really not liking this episode and was wondering if I’d be surprised to discover it wasn’t all that bad. Nope. This is a flat-out terrible episode that’s like a bizarre cross between Dances with Wolves and Return of the Jedi, with Rygel in the C3PO role. All the beats with the local populace have been done and done better in other stories, and I found myself getting rather bored with the whole thing. I could not have cared less about the chief, his daughter, her suitor, or his priestess mother, and couldn’t wait for the boys to figure out how to extract themselves, resolve the mystery of the negative power vortex, and just go home already.

I will give Rygel credit for seeming genuinely appalled by what his ancestors had done to the natives and by what the priests had done to maintain their power. He honestly wanted to set things to rights, even before he realized that the populace intended to kill him for being a false god. So good on ya, Your Eminence.

Other Thoughts

On top of the crappy story, this episode also had a number of really bad effects shots. Particularly some of the shots with Rygel walking or falling out of his hover chair.

Crichton’s “native” beard was god awful. It looked ridiculously fake and I found it distracting at times. How was I supposed to appreciate his fine, shirtless, giant crab-fishing physique, when he had that ludicrous pelt on his face?

I was rather shocked by Crichton’s pissy tantrum at the beginning. I can understand him reaching a “fed up” point, but he was really nasty to everyone. His treatment of Aeryn, in particular, seemed overly harsh. Still, I felt really bad for him when he thought the crew abandoned him. Fortunately, D’Argo was able to set him straight pretty quickly. You know. After the three-month absence.

I was happy to see that Aeryn and D’Argo were unwilling to give up the search for Crichton, even after a quarter cycle. Particularly Aeryn. She and Crichton have forged quite a deep connection, even though they haven’t taken things beyond “heat of the moment” making out and coy flirtation.

I assume the title is a reference to the biblical Jeremiah who, according to Wikipedia, “God appointed […] to confront Judah and Jerusalem for the worship of idols and other violations of the covenant described in Deuteronomy.” Otherwise, it really doesn’t make much sense.

Quotes

Zhaan: “The only reason this search still drags on is because of the guilt in your own hearts.”
D’Argo: “My hearts are private places. Stay out them.”

Aeryn: “You were a lot more agreeable as a peace-loving priest.”
Zhaan: “As I assume you were as a Peacekeeper pilot.”

D’Argo (to Crichton): “You smell like dren. You look like dren.”

D’Argo: “Do you really think we abandoned you, when we spent the last quarter of a cycle searching for you?”

Crichton: “You came back. To look for me.”
Rygel: “A lapse of sound judgment I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”
Crichton: “Yep. You just might. The rest of your life.”

Zhaan: “What we need to do is isolate the most highly developed organisms.”
Aeryn: “Well, that rules out the three we’re looking for.”

Rygel: “I have not risen. I am not a deity. I am but a worthy being like yourselves. But I am your sovereign.”
Crichton (to D’Argo): “The slug who would be king.”

Final Analysis: A tedious episode that I hope to never watch again.