Jess's 2010 Favorites

Like last year, for 2010 I’m doing a list of the shows least likely to stack up on my DVR, which aren’t necessarily representative of the best TV had to offer this year. Read on for my favorite show picks from 2010 (in no particular order).

Lost. I didn’t care for every detour and reveal in the final season --- The Temple business? The glowy cave with a stone cork? Adam and Eve? --- but I thought Lost came to a rousing and emotional conclusion, and they could not have come up with a more perfect or poignant concluding moment. I look forward to revisiting the show in a few more years.

Friday Night Lights. A perennial favorite of mine. In Season 4, Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton brought the goods, as always, as Coach and Mrs. Coach dealt with Eric’s exile to the reopened East Dillon High. As beloved characters from seasons past said their goodbyes, the writers effectively managed to introduce new characters I’ve grown to care about. The show suffers from some logic lapses at times, but with powerful episodes devoted to one character’s grief after a sudden death and another character’s struggle with an unplanned pregnancy, FNL had another emotionally compelling season. I can’t wait to bawl my eyes out when the final season airs on NBC in 2011.

Eureka. This summer, I decided to just dive right in with Season 4 of Eureka and quickly found myself eagerly anticipating each new episode. Balancing the ongoing emotional fallout from a time travel twist with endearing characters and hilarious misadventures, the crazy antics of this little town of mad scientists made for an incredibly enjoyable new find.

Stargate Universe. This show took awhile to grow on me, but with a mostly solid finish to Season 1 and a surprisingly strong first half of Season 2, SGU quickly became one of the shows I most anticipated each week. Unfortunately, the show was felled early in its run by a move to Tuesdays and by a storytelling style and pace that appealed to too few. I’m glad we’ll get ten more episodes this spring, but I also dread the cliff I’m sure fans will be left hanging off when the series ends.

Cougartown. I tried this one when it premiered in 2009 and wasn’t impressed. But after hearing it had found its groove later in the season, I decided to give it another try. All it took was the final two episodes of Season 1 and I was a convert. I love the dynamics between Jules and her dysfunctional family and neighbors, and the show never fails to make me laugh out loud. This season the series has been channeling Scrubs at its finest, effortlessly combining a mix of kooks, weirdos, and running gags with a soft doughy emotional center. These characters may be crazy, but they really care about and support one another and I enjoy hanging with them for 30 minutes every week. Surprisingly, the show has usurped Modern Family as my favorite Wednesday comedy. Bring on the zany antics of the Purple Tooth Crew!

Supernatural. This show surprised me this year, not by wrapping up its five-year arc in a relatively strong fashion, but by managing to turn out a sixth season that thus far is even better than the last season! I love what they are doing with the characters, especially Sam, and I’m also loving how the writers have kept us guessing about the overall story arc for the season. In the last few episodes, they rather suddenly closed the initial arcs of the season (or so it seems), and I honestly have no idea where it goes from here. I can’t wait to find out!

As an added bonus, here are my favorite “New to Me” shows from 2010:

Deadwood. Technically, I watched most of Deadwood in December 2009, but since I finished up the last season in January 2010, I’m including it. Truth is, even if I had watched all of the series in late 2009, I’d include it on this list because Deadwood may be my favorite series since The Wire. With a richly detailed setting and wonderfully layered, deeply flawed characters --- most of whom manage to surprise with small acts of heroism from time to time --- this series had me completely engrossed from start to finish. Part of me will always be sad that Deadwood didn’t manage to reach its natural conclusion, but at least we got those three wonderful seasons and countless unforgettable performances.

Better Off Ted. Another gem from the “gone too soon” vault. If you loved Arrested Development, you should check out this hilarious and quirky satire of corporate life. With wacky, lovable characters and even wackier situations created by The Powers that Be at Veridian Dynamics, Better Off Ted often had me in stitches with the insanity of the week. I know I’ll be revisiting Ted, Veronica, and crew frequently.

Mad Men. I tried this one when it initially premiered, but was completely turned off by the rampant sexism. I know, I know; the sexism is reflective of the time period in which the show is set, but it wasn’t something I wanted to immerse myself in on a weekly basis. And yet … four years in, the critics were still touting the show’s awesomeness, so I decided to give it another go. Knowing that at least one of the women breaks out of the “secretary looking for a husband” mode made it easier to get through the sexism in the early seasons, and slowly but surely I became entranced by Don, Peggy, and Joan. Many of Mad Men’s characters are entertaining, but these three in particular are what keep me coming back. Fortunately, I was able to catch up in time to enjoy the show’s most recent season, which was a real treat, particularly ‘The Suitcase’ episode. Whenever it returns, Mad Men will surely be high on my “least likely to stack up on the DVR” list.

Sons of Anarchy. So many critics were singing the praises of this show, that I decided to give it a go in early fall. I quickly found myself getting completely engrossed in the visceral thrill ride and the complex character dynamics, downing episodes up to four at a time some nights. Katey Sagal is simply outstanding as Gemma Teller Morrow, and the rift between Clay and Jax made for some very intense conflict in Seasons 1 and 2. Plus, I just love seeing Dayton Callie (Charlie Utter, Deadwood) on my TV again! Unfortunately, Season 3 (which I’m slowly catching up with on FX’s website) has not been nearly so compelling, but at least we’ve gotten a couple more Deadwood alums to enjoy most weeks! (Now, if we could only get them together in one room …)

Breaking Bad. I recently started watching AMC’s reruns of Breaking Bad, so I’m only in the first season, but I’m already kicking myself for not watching this series sooner. With an immediately gripping and hilariously dark pilot and an absolutely riveting performance from Bryan Cranston, this one is definitely a keeper for me. I can’t wait to get to the much ballyhooed third season!

Parks and Recreation. Another show the critics insisted got better in the second season, so I started streaming it on Netflix the other night (starting with Season 2). I’m 12 episodes in and I’m chomping at the bit to watch more. Just an entertaining setting and group of characters, particularly Leslie Knope and Ron “F***ing” Swanson. Parks and Recreation consistently makes me laugh, and I especially love how serialized the show is, even though individual episodes tell relatively contained stories. I plan to get caught up with this one before the new season premieres and add it to my regular rotation.

That’s it for this year, but on my “New to Me” watch list for 2011: The Pacific, Terriers, Fringe, Justified, and The Shield.

Billie's favorite TV of 2010

It's the end of another year. How does time manage to fly so quickly? We here at Billie Doux (I still find it weird to refer to myself as a website) are planning to once again talk about our faves. It's fun, and we get to post pretty pictures. (See the three gorgeous guys to your right.)

What was my favorite show of 2010, you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask, but I'll tell you, anyway...

Yes, it's Supernatural again.

After winding up a multi-season arc last spring and getting unexpectedly renewed for a sixth season, Supernatural is still its tragic, gory and darkly comic self, and for the third year in a row, it's my favorite currently running series. The mythology has continued to expand and build -- good and evil, monsters and demons, frightening Old Testament angels, Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, the nature of the soul, the search for God, it takes real skill to pull off stories like this, let me tell you. The Winchester brothers and their codependent relationship are still doing it for me in a big way, and this year they actually made it to the cover of TV Guide. I want a seventh season, and it looks like I just might get it.

Runner up: The Vampire Diaries.

Who knew how good it would turn out to be? The Vampire Diaries started out looking very much like a teenage vampire Twilight clone with nothing in the way of innovation or sparkle, pun intended -- but the machinations, magic rings, plot twists and sexual tension have all turned it into one of the highlights of my week.

Interesting that The Vampire Diaries, like Supernatural, features a complicated relationship between two brothers, neither of whom are your stereotypical good guy or bad guy. One of my favorite quotes this season, and I can't remember where I read it or I'd give you the link, was from an article comparing the two shows: "If the Winchesters met the Salvatores, vampire heads would roll." I'm not much of a crossover fan, but can you imagine a Supernatural/Vampire Diaries crossover? It'd be classic. And hopefully, all four of them would survive because I want more Vampire Diaries. More, more, more. Give us a nice long run, if you please.

Surprisingly, Dexter.

I don't know how they managed it, but the producers of Dexter followed last year's absolutely exceptional and intense fourth season with a completely different but also absolutely exceptional and intense fifth season. I was completely surprised by the direction they took, but I shouldn't have been. It's clear that the producers are well aware that they have a unique, complex character as their lead, played by an exceptional actor (Michael C. Hall, who should have multiple Emmys for best actor on his mantle), and that the series would be over pretty quickly if Dexter himself didn't change and grow. Now, if only his marriage to his sister had worked out.

Also, surprisingly, The Walking Dead.

So while we were waiting for The Event, Nikita, and Undercovers to take off, The Walking Dead swept under the radar and blew us away. I've already said a ton about this innovative series, but suffice it to say that The Walking Dead may appear to be just another zombie apocalypse, but it's actually about survival, morality, and the human condition. We're probably gonna hafta wait until fall of 2011 for season two, so if you haven't seen the way-too-short first season yet, you've got plenty of time to catch up.

Honorable mention.

I discovered two wonderful shows on DVD this summer. Being Human is a UK show about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who become housemates and attempt to become, well, human. The premise sounds silly, I'll grant you, but it's not. Being Human is about alienation. Mitchell, George and Annie all desperately want to be normal, to live ordinary lives, and that is impossible because of what they are. As they struggle with their humanity, they learn to depend on each other -- and of course, their love for each other is what makes them the most human.

The UK version of Being Human is getting a third season, probably starting soon. We're not getting it in the U.S., possibly because SyFy is doing an American reboot with the same title starting in January. Across-the-pond-reboots are rarely good; it's not easy to duplicate magic, as the producers of the U.S. version of Life on Mars can tell you. We shall see.

The second show I discovered on DVD this summer, Lie to Me, is about the science of detecting deception. Cal Lightman (Tim Roth) and his staff at the Lightman Group work as consultants who analyze facial expressions and body language in order to determine who is telling the truth, and who is not. Yes, it's a procedural, and I'm not a fan of procedurals. But most of the stories are compelling, Tim Roth is amazing, and I'm really enjoying it. I'm nearing the end of season two and haven't seen season three -- so please don't spoil me!

Fun, fun, fun in the summertime.

Ahh, True Blood. The show has its flaws, and I'm the first to admit it; they keep trying to jam too much plot into a twelve-episode season, and I think they try too hard to shock us. But True Blood is fun, sexy, gory, and outrageous, and even though I've read the entire series of books, I never know what will happen next. It also features the delicious Alexander Skarsgard as my new favorite vampire, Eric Northman. (With honorable mention to James Frain, who made Franklin Mott a Vampire to Remember.) I'm definitely tuning in and reviewing season four so please, Alan Ball -- give us the main plot of book four in season four! Pretty please, with sugar on it?

Doctor Who got a brand new Doctor this season. I still feel like I'm cheating on David Tennant, but I have to admit that Matt Smith just nails the character. And new show runner Steven Moffat just gave us the best season of Doctor Who ever, topped by last week's marvelous Christmas episode. I'm very much looking forward to the next season of Doctor Who. (Although I'm even more excited about season four of the Doctor Who spinoff series Torchwood, which is coming to the BBC *and* Starz this coming summer.)

And finally...

... I should probably talk about the end of Lost. It was a big part of my life; I've written literally hundreds of pages about the show, and the hype and hoopla surrounding the sixth season was overwhelming. Yes, I'm one of the fans who was upset with some aspects of how the series ended. But I think I've gone through the five stages of grief and reached some closure with Lost. I no longer fret about the unsatisfactory resolution of the flash sideways and the disappointment of unanswered questions. When I think about the end of Lost, I think about this -- and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes.



So happy new year! And here's hoping for some marvelous television in 2011!

Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol

Doctor: “Tonight, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.”

You've got to hand it to Steven Moffat -- his first Christmas episode was an absolute blinder. It was exactly how a Christmas episode should be. It was different enough from a regular episode to justify its "special" status. It had regular companions (even if they were criminally underused), a strong Christmas theme, great celebrity guests, and an emotionally engaging narrative which both warmed and broke our hearts. In short, it was both "Christmassy" and "special". It also had quotables by the bucket-load. I loved every minute of it!

Holiday Gift Guide: Being Human

‘Tis the season for feeling the pain of your bank account decreasing with a rapid speed as you continue to buy novelty gifts for friends and families. It’s also the season for ghosts, goblins and ghouls. So, while I enjoy my fancy, luridly coloured cocktails on the beach in 30 degree Celsius weather, let’s have a look at the gifts you can get for those open and secret Being Human fans. Mum, dad ... Take note.

Star Trek: Journey to Babel

Kirk: "They're both stubborn."
Amanda: "A human trait, Captain?"

So it turns out Vulcan family dynamics aren't that alien, after all. Spock as a rebellious son sparring with Mom and Dad? That alone makes this episode a winner.

Holiday Gift Guide: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tree. Nog. Roast beast.

It's pretty easy to come up with gift ideas for the Buffy fan. Candles for Wiccan rituals. Self-defense lessons. A mummy hand would be perfect. (Fingers sold separately.) Stylish, yet affordable boots. (Maybe you could wear them with a suede Billie Doux bag. There actually is such a thing.)

Holiday Gift Guide: Lost

If you missed the auction of Lost memorabilia back in August, there are still perfect gifts for the Lost fan on your holiday list.

Misfits: Episode Seven (Oh Wonderful One, Why Are You Like That?)

Simon: “I'm going to kill Jesus.”

This was the most messed-up nativity story I've ever seen. I can still see Nathan stamping on that afterbirth. Truly disgusting. And, of course, quite brilliant. No wonder E4 put out a gore warning before this episode aired. It was enough to traumatise anyone. Tonight's tale was something of a game changer. All of our Misfits sold their powers; and then bought back completely new ones. What they are we'll have to wait until next season to find out. I can't wait.

Kelly and Alisha's powers have been pretty redundant this season. They were interesting back in season one, but they're just not useful enough to feature on a regular basis. So maybe it is time for a change. Alisha's power has always seemed more of a curse than anything else. And Nathan and Curtis' abilities have always felt overpowered. Curtis being able to turn back time is a quick fix for any situation. (Though to be fair, Howard Overman has used it sparingly.) Similarly, Nathan's immortality takes the drama out of any potentially life threatening incident. We're never worried when Nathan dies, because we know he'll always come back. There's only Simon's ability that's ever felt truly balanced.

It took Nikki's death to make them all realise that their powers are important. Simon, early on, said that his power was part of who he was. He didn't see it as some foreign body festering inside of him. He saw it as part of his physical make-up. The rest of the Misfits thought that by selling their powers they could buy back their freedom. But all it did was make them vulnerable. Impotent. Unable to fight back. Curtis couldn't turn back time and stop Nikki dying. Nathan couldn't take a bullet for her. They all failed -- both themselves and Nikki.

I could sympathise with Alisha's frustration. Her superpower was never good for anything. It never saved anyone. It also prevented her from having physical contact with the people she loved. So it was understandable that she'd choose to sell her power. But it was inexcusable of her to trick Simon into giving up his own. Maybe she was afraid that Simon would never be safe -- that they would never lead a normal life together. But lying to him was wrong. To her credit, she realised her error almost right away. But by then it was too late. Nikki was dead.

Simon was a revelation, tonight. He's looking more and more like Superhoodie with each passing hour. You can almost see his confidence growing. Admittedly, his parkour skills are slow in developing. Those were some nasty knocks he took. But at least he's trying. Unfortunately, he's struggling to live up to the standards set by his future self. (Both as a hero and a lover.) But taking sex tips from Nathan? You have to draw the line somewhere. Mind you, they seemed to work. (Lozenge anyone?) But Simon still sees his future self as another person, separate from himself. And currently, he feels small in comparison.

Nathan was the biggest surprise of the night. How sweet that he sold his immortality to provide for Marnie and her baby. He even gave her his last £1.68. Now that's love! (Even if he did take back 50p to buy a Kit Kat.) Nathan and Marnie are the perfect couple. Finally, someone who pisses and shits themselves as much as he does. That scene where the baby pressed on Marnie's bladder, causing her to piss on his foot, was comedy gold. Nathan didn't even seem particularly disgusted. Talk about a match made in heaven.

And speaking of heaven, who'd have guessed Jesus could be such a bastard? Demanding money from the needy. Having sex with all and sundry. (I'm talking about fake Jesus, obviously; not historic Jesus.) Thank goodness he got what he deserved; a steel locker to the face. Loved the wreath falling down and landing on his dead head. How apt. I kind of expected Jesus' death to give them all back their powers -- but they're gone, never to return. I wonder what powers they've bought? Will Nathan still be with Marnie next year?

Next season can't come soon enough.

Bits and Pieces:

-- Trust Nathan to get ripped off selling his power. He's got the best power and sold it for the least money.

-- Now we know why Superhoodie could time travel. He's not invisible any more. Maybe he buys the ability to time travel from Seth in the future. Maybe he even has it now.

-- Loved the Zod reference. As soon as Superman gave up his superpowers General Zod tried to take over the world. Similarly, as soon as the Misfits sold their powers they were needed to save Nikki.

-- The chemistry between Nathan and Marnie is undeniable. They even had matching stomachs. I just hope there were no children watching. Seeing Santa screwing a pregnant woman is more than a child's mind can take.

-- Nathan made a truly disgusting Santa. Not quite as bad a Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places; but close.

-- I wonder how Nathan still has access to the community centre now he's not working there any more?

-- Nathan singing "Little Donkey" with the Misfits ensemble was as ludicrous as it was touching. Lovely performance from the cast. Well done chaps.

Quotes:

Kelly: “You can't go around pretending to be Jesus. What's God going to say?”
Marnie: “You haven't even got a beard.”

Marnie: "Hiya, you must be Barry. He's told me so much about you."

Kelly: "The woman in the shop thought I was shop lifting. Got me wad out, mate. She looked proper sick."

Nathan: "He looks like me."

Kelly: "It's the afterbirth, you dickhead."

Holiday Gift Guide: Supernatural

It's hard to think of a gift that would say Supernatural. Let's face it, the homeless Winchesters have practically nothing but a classic car and each other, and sometimes they don't even have that.

Farscape: A Bug's Life

When the crew encounters a damaged Marauder, Crichton and Aeryn pretend to be Peacekeepers on a special assignment. However, their ploy goes horribly awry when Chiana and Rygel tamper with the Marauder’s cargo, releasing a deadly, intelligent virus.

‘A Bug’s Life’ was pretty standard “infectious and evil intelligence possesses one of the crew” fare. Everyone assumes the wrong person is infected, and the real infected person makes trouble while the hunt for the decoy is on. Naturally, the virus passes to another host once or twice, ultimately resulting in a standoff where no one knows who in the group is infected. Been there, done that. That said, I still found this version of the tale pretty engaging. Especially the Mexican standoff after they foolishly tried to apprehend Crichton using their hands. (You’d think the Special Ops commandos who’d been hunting this thing for almost a year would have known better.) I really had no idea who would end up being infected, although in retrospect, Larraq was the most likely suspect. I mean, they probably weren’t going to kill off one of our main cast and it couldn’t be the big bald guy, because he was infected earlier. Yet, I still found myself wincing in anticipation every time someone new tried the alkaline shot.

In spite of the standard overall plot, I did really enjoy many of the character bits along the way. The few small moments showing D’Argo’s struggle with the need to once again wear prisoner’s chains, even as a part of a ruse, were a nice touch. And it was great fun to see Chiana and Rygel reluctantly collaborating on their latest profit-making scheme. (Of course those two would see the arrival of mysterious and dangerous cargo as a potential opportunity to earn a quick buck, without even considering that their actions could complicate an already tenuous situation.)

But my favorite character beats this week were with Aeryn, as we learned a little more about her background and saw her once again forced to wrestle with her sadness over what her life could have been. It was so nice to briefly see her connecting with fellow soldiers and smiling as she recalled being too small to “reach the pedals” in more advanced fighter craft. But, of course, fond memories quickly turned to shattered dreams when Larraq suggested she join his commando squad because her talents are being wasted in her current assignment. “What are you doing in Ustar Regiment? You’re being wasted there. You’re wasting yourself there.” My heart broke for her when I saw the sad, wistful look in her eyes as she nodded her agreement to talk about transferring and the even sadder look on her face after Larraq walked away. It seems like every time Aeryn starts to accept the direction her life has taken, she’s painfully reminded of who she used to be and the dreams that slipped through her fingers. All of the fugitives struggle with that issue to a certain extent, but for Aeryn the wound is still fresh and, unlike the others, she has little hope that she’ll ever be able to regain some semblance of the life she knew and loved.

Other Thoughts

I actually had a lot of trouble focusing on the story for this episode, because every time they mentioned the Gammak Base my mind would start wandering down the path of things to come. I’m trying to keep these reviews spoiler-free for those who may be new to Farscape, but I will note that that the events of this episode didn’t wrap as neatly as it may have seemed, and they are about to lead us to an exciting new enemy and a serious uptick in the overall quality of the series. Suffice to say, anyone that would be interested in experimenting with an intelligent virus is not someone with whom you’d want to cross paths. (Unless you are a member of the viewing audience, in which case, you surely do. I can’t wait!)

Moya’s crew really took a hell of a risk pretending to be Peacekeepers on assignment. Especially using Aeryn’s real name. I know that she and Crichton were left off Crais’s bounty list, but surely her name is known within Peacekeeper ranks? Would only Crais’s people know who Aeryn is? Perhaps. The Peacekeepers are a pretty big organization, after all.

Crichton doing the Peacekeeper accent did not work at all, and I can’t believe the Marauder crew didn’t expose him for a fraud much sooner.

World-building bits: Gammak Base, a Peacekeeper “science military” research installation; PK Special Ops are known as “Black Ghosts” (are all Marauder crews considered Black Ghosts, or just some?); and the Peacekeepers have been experimenting with using neural controls on the ship’s Pilot to control a Leviathan.

Lots of cursing in this one: frell, dren, serious frelling dren …

It really bothered me that Crichton kept standing so close to Chiana after learning the virus transfers by close physical proximity. And why did they just believe her version of events anyway? She wasn’t exactly behaving like herself. You’d think they would have picked up on her acting weirdly subdued a hell of a lot sooner.

You know, if the virus wasn’t such a vengeful egomaniac, it probably could have just infected the Marauder scientist and taken the ship. If it was controlling her, it’s not like she could have told anyone about a potential antibody. Did it not think she would have the knowledge it needed to get to the base? Was it just trying to log enough time in its current host to incubate and spawn?

I’m also not sure why they were so worried about the virus spreading. Apparently, prior to capture, it existed out in the Uncharted Territories without wiping the whole place out. So why was it now such a threat to “thousands of species”? Was it relatively contained until Larraq’s team found it? Had it been knocked back down to “single host” phase after wiping out a corner of Universe? Was it just biding its time and hoping to hitch a ride to a more populated area before “going viral” again?

I really liked Crichton’s clever maneuver using Starburst to ignite the fuel leak.

We did get a few hints that we aren’t done with the oft-mentioned Gammak Base. Chiana grabbed Larraq’s ident chip before he escaped, and Crichton noted at the end that, even though they are currently trying to get as far from it as they can, the base is still out there, and they don’t know why. [Cue ominous music.]

I’m a bit bothered that there has seemingly been no fallout from Crichton and Aeryn sleeping together on fake Earth. Was that not really Aeryn? It’s obvious they care for each other, so why not acknowledge that they are closer now? Especially in that last scene. I know Aeryn is a tough nut to crack emotionally, but come on!

Quotes

Crichton: “Now I may be naïve, but flying around in the Uncharted Territories, ignorant of what the Peacekeepers are doing out here? That, to me, seems dangerous.”

Rygel: “How dare you sneak up on me like that! I should make you wear a bell ‘round your neck.”
Chiana: “Keep your fantasies to yourself, Frog Boy.”

Chiana: “Look. In the interest of not getting caught, I’ll agree to half whatever we procure.”
Rygel: “Half?! I was here first!”
Chiana: “But I have the, uh, the key.”
Rygel: “Oh. OK. Half.”

Aeryn: “This is a disaster, Crichton. It is a grave misfortune that uniform did not fit me.”

D’Argo: “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this fiasco, it’s that I will never be chained up again.”
Zhaan: “I pray that will be the case.”
D’Argo: “You can pray all you like. I was expressing a fact. Not a hope.”

Crichton: “You got lucky. He missed your heart.”
Aeryn: “Closer than you think.”
I’m assuming she means her dream of becoming a marauder commando, not a romantic interest.

Crichton: “Don’t mention it.”
Aeryn: “Why would I ever mention it?”
Is this a callback to a previous exchange between them, or just her giving a playful response to what she knows is a human expression?

Final Analysis: A fairly standard story this week, but the first step on the path to great things.

Holiday Gift Guide: Fringe

The problem with parallel universes isn't that they force us to radically re-conceptualize our understanding of space, time, and reality. No, the problem is that now we're responsible for getting twice as many people Christmas gifts, stocking stuffers, and Chanukah chotchkies. And what do you get the shapeshifter who has everything? Read on to find out:

Holiday Gift Guide: Glee

So your father/mother/sister/brother/lover/best friend/pet/all of the above is a major Gleek? They're so into Glee that they've bought the all the DVDs (and Blu-Ray, for good measure), all the music, the calendar, t-shirts, mugs and bath-mat. They've seen the cast on tour and stolen Matthew Morrison's empty Starbucks cup, the dregs of which are kept in a vial around their neck. What Gleeful gifts are you going to give them for Christmas?

For those who love Sue Sylvester (or those who hate hair so full of oil you could season a wok with it):

The complete "The L Word". Jane Lynch enters in season two, episode two as the lawyer of two characters undergoing a divorce. Imagine Sue if it was actually her job to be one tough bitch, and you'll get an idea of the awesomeness of her L Word character. It's best to start watching from season one though, because you'll be hooked. Here's Billie explaining why.

For the teen Gleek:

High School Musical? Oh crikey - did I just say that? No, wait - check out Camp instead, it's better... still not a patch on Glee though. Yeah... just watch Glee, actually.

For the Kurt fans and aspiring 'Notorious Homosexuals':

Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin. That book and those that follow it will transport you to 28 Barbary Lane, whose quirky and loveable residents paint a picture of gay and gay friendly life in 70s San Francisco so joyous and full of freedom you'll spend the next week reading about your new friends and the next fortnight missing them.

Also, you could make a donation in the name of your giftee to The Matthew Shepard Foundation or Stonewall, organisations which campaign to tackle homophobic bullying like the sort Kurt experiences in Season Two. They both do essential work that can change young peoples' lives and maybe even convince some suicidial gay teens to endure the bullying until life 'gets better'.

For the London-based lover of tater tots:

Sign them up to Soho Gyms and their new Glee Class! Work off those Christmas pounds to Proud Mary or a Journey Medley and learn the dance moves from the show (yes, these really do exist - in terms of fervour, Gleeks rival even Whedon fans).

For the aspiring Glee Club attendee:

Apart from a few CDs of Mark Salling or Kristin Chenowith to get them in the mood, and some sheet music from Spring Awakening (originally starring Lea Michele) to make some song suggestions to the club director (note, he'll only turn them down for more Journey tunes) there's nothing you can get for this person... except maybe a Slushie in the face.

Oh, and one last shameless plug - if you Do want to buy Glee merchandise check out this page - everything bought after clicking on one of those links helps support the site!

Misfits: Episode Six (I Don't Know What's Happened To The Kids)

Simon: “When do I turn into this superhero?”

I love it when a seemingly innocuous episode suddenly goes bosoms up. We were treated to all manner of drama tonight. It was obvious how it would end. Curtis' lactose intolerance, coupled with his ability to turn back time, was always going to be key. But there were some intriguing twists along the way, some fascinating reveals, and some genuinely moving character pieces. Plus, virtually everyone ended up either dead or incapacitated. Which is exactly what you want from a penultimate episode. Particularly if you're a masochist.

Finally, Simon knows about Superhoodie. All it took was one overheard comment (while invisible in Nathan's room), and the cat was, if not fully out the bag, then certainly one paw out, scratching wildly. Once Simon had followed Alisha back to the base, there wasn't much she could do. She had to tell him. In hindsight, I think he took it rather well. Now he knows they're together in the future, it seems a foregone conclusion they'll fall in love in the present. In fact, the process already seems to have begun. Simon looked genuinely distraught by Alisha's death. Him looking into the camera and pulling up his hood sent shivers down my spine. Is that all it takes? One big event to change him from shy, awkward Simon into his masked alter ego?

I always assumed the transformation would take years. Yet, suddenly, Simon looked like a different person. Focused. In control. Maybe purpose and the right motivation are all that's required. He knew exactly what needed to be done and did it without question -- even at the cost of his own life. Not only will Simon one day become a real hero, he's one already. And both Curtis and Alisha know it. That's why Alisha loves him.

Simon's death gave Curtis the emotional investment necessary to invoke a rewind. It was sad seeing everyone dead. Seeing Nathan reduced to a vegetative state was probably poetic justice. I don't think we've ever seen him speechless. Can mozzarella wrapped around your central cortex actually do that? (Like this is real). Having Kelly's ghost turn up was also a major shock. Howard Overman doesn't miss a trick. I'd forgotten Nathan could talk to the dead. And Kelly looked so alive. Until that shot of her body. That was a dead giveaway (pun not really intended, but I'll take it).

Nathan blowing his own head off on “Whoops, There Goes My Brains,” was laugh out loud hilarious (not to mention stomach churningly gruesome). Is there anything that man won't do for sex? His new found celebrity status certainly attracted the ladies. Admittedly, it was ladies with sexually transmitted diseases. But seeing Nathan in the spotlight is like seeing him in his natural environment. He's a born performer -- a creature who thrives on attention.

I felt sorry for Daisy. She was so innocent. Watching Nathan trying to coax her healing hands down the front of his underpants was just wrong. Daisy had the power to heal mankind. Trust Nathan to kill her (albeit accidentally). There goes our hope, then. All because he couldn't be bothered to go to the Doctor's for antibiotics. Still, at least he apologised. So that's all right.

Did they kill Brian (Milk Guy) at the end, or just warn him not to go public with his powers? (By punching him in the face.) I'm guessing the latter. I hope so, anyway. I'd quite like to see Brian again. Great performance from Jordan Metcalfe. He made Milk Guy seem so sweet, yet so dangerous. (Kind of like milk if you're lactose intolerant.) Coming out of the proverbial closet gave him the attention he so desperately craved. But, in the grand scheme of things, his superpower was terrible. His ability to manipulate milk (lactokinesis) was real bottom of the heap stuff. Still, at least it provided us with an unlikely, yet effective villain. (Not to mention some top notch chortles.)

The Christmas episode is on Sunday, 19th December and they're going to kill Jesus. If that doesn't put you in the festive mood, I don't know what will.

Bits and Pieces:

-- Now that their community service is over I wonder what's going to happen next season?

-- "It's like in Terminator, when John Connor sends Kyle Reece back in time so that he can be his father." Great Terminator reference!

-- I loved the irony of Daisy getting skewered on her Mother Teresa award. Kudos to Nathan for trying to help, for once.

-- I found Simon kissing Alisha on the forehead quite touching. Seeing Alisha dead seemed to change something inside him.

-- Nathan is seriously useless. He could have killed someone in that television studio. To be fair, who would leave a loaded gun lying around unsupervised?

-- How ludicrous, watching Laura choke to death with Lakmé's “Flower Duet” playing in the background. I think I've said it before, but this show uses music so effectively.

Quotes:

Nathan: "I tripled myself."

Kelly: “I shagged a monkey.”
Nathan: “Technically, it was a gorilla.”

Brian's girlfriend: “There's a guy downstairs that can rewind time. You can do stuff with milk.”

Nikki: “Is it true you shit yourself when you die?”
Nathan: “That only happened once. And I've got a bucket standing by, just in case.”

Kelly: “Have I got time to go to the toilet before you shoot yourself?”
Nathan: “A piss, yes. A shit, probably not.”

Nathan: “And now, for your viewing pleasure, I will blow out my brains on national telly. Enjoy!”

Alisha: “You think you're surprised? Imagine being me.”

Simon: “I just want you to know, being here with all of you, has been the best time of my life.”

Holiday Gift Guide: Doctor Who, Misfits and Sherlock

In the spirit of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, I'm including gift ideas for all three of my shows in one post. Sherlock represents the Spirit of Christmas Past (because of its Victorian origins), Misfits the Spirit of Christmas Present (because it's presently airing on E4), and Doctor Who the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come (because the Christmas episode is yet to air).

Of course, the real reason I'm grouping them together, is that I didn't quite grasp the concept of "one show at a time." Which makes the above explanation nothing more than a ruse designed to hide my shame. I made a mistake, okay? I just hope nobody noticed.

Wait! I'm saying this in my head, right?

Doctor Who:

-- For those who don't already own it, Russell T. Davies' "The Writers Tale – The Final Chapter" is a must have for any discerning Doctor Who fan. It's a collection of emails between Davies and journalist Benjamin Cook, documenting the writing process, script development and ups and downs of being Showrunner. Davies is surprisingly candid about his achievements. He's sometimes immodest, sometimes painfully self-deprecating, but you can always count on him to be honest.

-- Not a fan of Matt Smith? Whilst you sit there, wallowing in your own disgustingness, you could always kick it old school and bust out one of Big Finish's audio adventures. Is your favourite Doctor still Colin Baker? Did you stop watching when Peter Davison hung up his cricketing box for good? Fear not, because both Doctors are still out there having adventures. New stories. Old companions. It's like they never went away. Let's hope they all team up for a 50th anniversary special, eh? It'll likely be dire, but imagine the fun we'll have.

-- For those of us hit hard by the recession (i.e. the known universe), how about making some Doctor Who gifts yourself? You've heard the axiom about home-made gifts showing the most love, right? Well, it's not true. It means you're cheap. But since cheap is the new charitable, you might fancy taking a gander at the numerous Doctor Who craft ideas out there. There are patterns galore on the internet for crocheted Cybermen, macramé Daleks and cloth Adipose. Some aren’t embarrassing. Some you could conceivably give as a gift without it seeming like a slap in the face. You may even have fun. Which let's face it, is what it's all about.

Misfits:

-- Yes, I know I've only just started reviewing it, but the series boxed sets are so cheap at the moment, you'd have to be a right Scrooge to deprive your nearest and dearest of E4's latest foul mouthed sci-fi offering. Beware you don't accidentally buy The Misfits, starring Clark Gable. It's a good film. But nobody has superpowers, and nobody craps in anyone's bed.

Sherlock:

-- Sherlock was the unexpected hit of 2009. The concept seemed dreadful, but it was so brilliantly realised and acted, that it totally worked. For those of you only recently acquainted with Holmes, there's a massive back catalogue of previous adaptations to choose from. The Ronald Howard (no, not the ginger one from Happy Days) boxed set is as rough as a roofer's glove, and should be avoided at all costs. But the Jeremy Brett boxed set is as cheap as chips and as good as any adaptation you're likely to see.

-- The original Conan Doyle Stories are also bafflingly cheap. In fact, if you have a Kindle, "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" is completely free. Even hard copies (that's books to you and me) of the full canon are just a few quid. A small price to pay for classic story telling.

-- The BBC's audio adaptations (featuring Clive Merrison), are also worth a look (and listen). Merrison and Co. managed to record every story in the canon (and some that aren't). Ideal fodder for those cold winter evenings... when the powers of evil are exalted.

That's me done. Have a good one, folks!

NewsFlash: Torchwood casting

Really interesting casting news for the fourth season of Torchwood, airing this summer on the BBC and Starz. Mekhi Phifer (whose name I always have a terrible time spelling) has been cast as FBI agent Rex Matheson. And Bill Pullman has been cast as Oswald Jones, a convicted murderer and pedophile. They'll be joining original series stars John Barrowman and Eve Myles.

I'm okay with Mekhi. He's a dynamic actor who can handle difficult stuff, although I have a hard time seeing him as something other than a doctor or a cop. (So I guess it's good that he's playing a cop; it's just the sci-fi venue that's new, so he gets to arrest aliens now.) I was a bit put out, though, because I'd heard a rumor that Enver Gjokaj (whose name I also have a terrible time spelling), the guy who did such amazing work as Victor in Dollhouse, was up for the role.

And I'm oddly weirded out by the casting of Bill Pullman, and I'm not sure why. He can definitely act, and I know he can do heavy; he's certainly done a lot more than romantic leads, goofballs, and the test pilot president in Independence Day. Maybe the description of the character is a turnoff. It's hard to picture the star of Spaceballs playing a homicidal pedophile. And maybe it's just weird to see a British show acquiring American cast members.

Casting weirdness aside, I am SO looking forward to the return of Torchwood this summer. And yes, I'm definitely reviewing it.

More about it on The Sci-Fi Wire That Isn't The Sci-Fi Wire Any More.

My Torchwood reviews are archived here.

NewsFlash: Stargate Universe Canceled

I am completely bummed to report that SyFy has canceled Stargate Universe. We're getting the spring ten episodes, and that's it.

Yes, the ratings haven't been great, but I have always enjoyed this show. Dramatically, I thought it stood head and shoulders above Atlantis. I look forward to it and it never sits unwatched on my DVR. (I finally deleted the last two episodes of The Event, unwatched.)

What do you think? Were you still watching? Did it deserve cancellation?

Smallville: Icarus

Carter: "This is what we do."

They started with an engagement and ended with a funeral. Do you think they were hinting that there are no happy endings for superheroes?

Holiday Gift Guide: The Vampire Diaries

December is a special time of year. A time to remember how much we love our families and friends. A time of high-caloric sweets, astronomical heating bills, and pine-tree-induced allergic reactions. A time to incur massive amounts of debt in a feeble attempt to provide the best useless gift that will live in someone’s closet gathering dust mites.

Dexter: The Big One

Deb: "Nothing is as simple as it seems."
Dexter: "You're right about that."

This entire episode had me on the edge of my seat. And the ending was not what I expected. Actually, the entire season was not what I expected. That's a good thing, by the way.

Supernatural: Appointment in Samarra

Death: "I want you to be me for one day."
Dean: "Are you serious?"
Death: "No, I'm being incredibly sarcastic."

I expected Dean to screw up his assignment for Death. I didn't expect Sam to get his soul back. So I guess I was half right.

Farscape: Through the Looking Glass

In an effort to prove herself late in her pregnancy, Moya attempts Starburst and winds up split between four dimensions.

‘Through the Looking Glass’ was a reasonably entertaining episode, with a fun sci-fi plot and some good character beats. I enjoyed the initial mystery regarding what the heck was going on, and liked the various character interactions as they attempted to resolve their dimensional schism problem. However, things did tend to bog down a bit during Crichton’s extended solo treks through the various dimensions (especially the cheese-tastic slow-motion running shots at the end), and it certainly didn’t take long for the visual distortion from the Red Dimension and the noise from the Blue Dimension to really bug me. Still, the episode featured some memorable quotes and an exceedingly goofy Giant Brain Jellyfish, so at least it gave me some good chuckles to balance the annoying visual and aural effects.

Moya’s pregnancy was, yet again, at fault for their precarious situation, but I actually didn’t mind it this week. This time, instead of just being a random side effect or a typical “I’m protecting my baby” issue, Moya’s attempt to Starburst stemmed from her fears and desires and gave us a chance to explore her and Pilot’s relationship with the crew. We often get caught up in the needs of the people living on Moya, and it can be easy to forget --- the baby issue notwithstanding --- that Moya and Pilot are beings with their own feelings and needs. As Aeryn rightly notes, Moya is not a possession to be tossed aside in favor of the next fastest vessel to cross their path. Nor are she and Pilot slave laborers being forced into service. They are happiest when serving others and take great comfort in the presence of the crew. As such, when Moya and Pilot learn the others are thinking of leaving for fear of getting caught if she can’t Starburst, it’s only natural that her fear of abandonment and her desire to serve her crew would drive her to attempt Starburst even though she wasn’t truly ready.

When she fails miserably, putting them all in even greater danger, we again see how much value Moya places on serving others when she offers to willingly lose her baby to give the rest of them a chance at survival. After all the trouble she’s caused these last few months trying to protect her baby, I was simply blown away by this proposal. Even if it was true that the baby wouldn’t survive if none of them did, Moya’s willingness to go on without her child so that she could best serve the others was a tremendously powerful testament to just what her relationship with her crew means to her. All the same, I was much relieved when Crichton and Zhaan immediately quashed the idea.

Other Thoughts

I liked the juxtaposition of the two meal scenes. Even though there was a lot of disagreement, I thought the opening dinner discussion was a fairly interesting look at everyone actually trying to function as a crew and come to a somewhat mutual decision about their course of action. The heated debate also gave us a greater appreciation for the joyousness of the latter scene. But my favorite shot of everyone bonding was the giddy, relieved laughter in Pilot’s den after they survived the failed Starburst. “I fail to see the source of your amusement.” What a fun way to see the entire cast together!

Well, it seems there wasn’t a whole lot of fallout from last week’s episode. Crichton is still trying to find a wormhole back to Earth, and there didn’t seem to be much change in Crichton’s and Aeryn’s relationship. They were both going to stay with Moya, but it didn’t seem to be out of a desire to stay together as a couple. We really only got a brief hint that they are more than just friends when he said he’d never leave her and then called her “baby.” Of course, he then did the same with Chiana a few moments later. “Give me seven seconds, baby --- we’ll come and go together.”

I find Chiana’s fluctuating accent entertaining. She mostly sounds American, but Gigi Edgley’s native Australian accent slips in at fairly regular intervals.

While really gross, I still found some of the vomit jokes in the Red Dimension amusing. And I did love the charades gestures that Aeryn and John used in Blue Dimension to discuss finding D’Argo and Rygel.

We learned a bit more about how Starburst works. Moya is able to enter the energy stream between space-time dimensions, then ride it until she’s pushed out at random. Huh. Randomly jetting from place to place doesn’t seem like the best way to travel the Universe. I guess it’s just supposed to be a defense mechanism.

Zhaan’s return to the priesthood was rather underwhelming. It almost felt like an afterthought. “Oh yeah. Seemingly imminent death made me realize that, deep down, I’m still a priest, so I’m just going to start wearing my vestments and praying again.” OK, then. Moving on.

As noted, the brain/jellyfish hybrid was fairly ridiculous looking. I kind of like the idea that there’s a big weird alien in the “space between” repairing fractures between dimensions, but the visuals didn’t really work for me.

Quotes

Rygel: “Moya has been, for as long as I can remember, our protector, our home, our companion, and our friend.”
Crichton: “Amen.”
Rygel: “However, as relationships grow, they also change. You think we can trade her for a faster vessel?”
And here I thought Sparky was suddenly a more thoughtful and compassionate being. Should have known better.

Crichton: “Moya is protecting her baby, D’Argo. Do you blame her?”
D’Argo: “That is selfishness masquerading as reason.”
I initially thought D’Argo was saying that Moya was being selfish and was like, “Whoa, buddy! What’s that they say about glass houses and throwing stones? Didn’t you cut off Pilot’s arm to get a chance at finding your child?” Then I realized he meant that Crichton was being selfish.

Crichton: “Listen, Sunshine, you want to be part of this crew?”
Chiana: “On your good days.”
Crichton: “This is one of the good days. I thought you were Junior Miss Tough Chick of the Universe.”
Chiana: “Yeah. When I can kiss or kick or cry my way out of it. This is way, way, way, way different.”

Crichton: “Look, I’ve gotta get out of here before I end up like you!”
Rygel: “What? Handsome with a great sexual prowess?”

Zhaan: “I’ve always wondered what could be beyond height, width, depth, and time.”
Crichton: “Nausea.”

Chiana: “Do you know any good jokes?”
Crichton: “Not beside the one I’m living.”

D’Argo: “One Mippippippi. Two Mippippippi. ...”
I know it’s silly, but I’ve always loved this one. I’ve been known to actually use D’Argo’s lingo when counting off seconds.

Zhaan: “My dear, I’ve kicked more ass than you’ve sat on.”

Crichton (toasting): “This is one of the good days, people. To a happy, healthy baby!”

Final Analysis: A decent enough episode, featuring some nice character development for Moya and the “crew as family” dynamic.

Fringe: Marionette

“She’s taken everything.”

I wondered last week why the Fringe powers that be didn’t use the last episode—specifically, Olivia’s return—as the mid-season finale. It was exhilarating, fast-paced, and nicely concluded one phase of the longer story about the two worlds. Now that I’ve seen “Marionette,” I understand.

Vampire Diaries: By the Light of the Moon

“Do nothing.”

Hey! That’s not what was supposed to happen! This was not the episode I was so excited about, and I’m feeling pouty.

Misfits: Episode Five (The Killing Moon)

Nathan: “Why's a gorilla wearing a gorilla costume?”

Good question. Maybe because Bruno's a monkey, with the ability to change into a human? Yeah, I know: technically he was a gorilla. But let's not go there. They sold us a double bluff tonight and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. The most obvious candidate for Nathan's mysterious killer was either Jessica or Bruno. Bruno because he clearly had anger issues (evidenced by the hearty banging he gave Kelly in the store cupboard). Jessica because, let's face it, she was just too adorable. Her interest in Simon was clearly a set-up. She just had to be evil. Except she wasn't. She was an innocent. Just like Simon.

This was a rough episode for both of our lady Misfits. Alisha was forced to watch impassively as both Simon and Jessica fell in love. (Not easy when you're in love with Simon's, now dead, future self.) She also managed to bust in (or maybe out) on Curtis and Nikki going at it hammer and tongs. Talk about gratuitous arse shot. To be fair, virtually everything in this show's gratuitous. I shouldn't complain really. Both Kelly and Alisha get their fair share of naughty camera love, too.

I like how they're developing Alisha's character this season. She seems easier to relate to now she has a secret to keep. We know that one day Simon will fall in love with her. But when and how is still a mystery. Will it happen before the season ends? It would be nice if it did -- although the present situation is creating a terrific dynamic between them. Alisha feels awkward and unliked around Simon, yet is desperate for his love. Simon, conversely, seems pretty much oblivious to Alisha's attentions; probably because he considers her way out of his league. I like seeing Alisha so vulnerable. It's ludicrous she should be so hung up over Simon. But love makes fools of us all.

At least Alisha knows that at some point in the future she'll be able to have sex again. (Well, non-superpower induced sex, anyway.) Until then, she seems fated to play the role of observer. Not that she doesn't keep trying to ingratiate herself into Simon's affections. Or maybe she just wants to be close to him until the inevitable happens. Future-Simon warned her that present-Simon just wasn't ready for a relationship with her. Yet he's clearly ready for a relationship with Jessica. When Jessica kissed him all his awkwardness and anxiety seemed to drain away. So the time can't be too far away.

Likewise, lady luck crapped all over poor Kelly this episode. She finally met a man whose thoughts and intentions were pure; only to have him turn into a gorilla and end up dead. The implication was that Bruno was a gorilla turned human, not the other way around, right? If not, worst superpower ever! It was sweet seeing Kelly's reaction to Bruno's innermost thoughts. There was no deceit in him. I was surprised to see her attracted to someone so straitlaced, though. Maybe she's just a big softy at heart. In the end she wasn't at all repulsed by Bruno's metamorphosis. She even gave his fur a loving ruffle and kissed his snout before he died. At least she knew he loved her.

Nathan, rather typically, was non-stop hilarious. His self confidence knows no bounds. Even being told he was "annoying" by the whole group didn't dent his seemingly indestructible ego. His bizarre confession of attempted auto-fellatio was as cringe-worthy as it was hilarious. He just doesn't know when to shut up. Which, as Kelly rightly suggests, is probably why people keep killing him.

Jessica's Dad being the killer made sense. He was outside when the first murder took place (though the narrative seemed to point towards Jessica). What a creep. I couldn't work out exactly what his superpower was. Was he just insanely overprotective? Or could he somehow see/sense what Jessica was up to? Did Alisha cold-cock him or kill him outright? If the latter, that's another body they're going to have to get rid of. The corpses are certainly piling up. I wonder whether Jessica will still want to be with Simon after what Alisha did? I'm guessing not.

That last shot of them all dressed as superheroes, drinking beer, was inspired. What a slovenly bunch of miscreants. Jessica's party was an ideal excuse for them to play dress up. Kelly's costume was hot. Alisha looked like a grown-up Hit Girl. Nathan looked ridiculous. But what a tantalizing fore-gleam of things to come.

Bits and Pieces:

-- I loved Alisha trying to bond with Simon over Echo and the Bunnymen's The Killing Moon. They clearly have nothing in common. At least, not yet.

-- "Oh Jesus, she's after Barry." Eleven episodes in and Nathan still can't get Simon's name right. Even when Simon's visible he's invisible.

-- It was nice seeing Curtis' flash forward from three episodes ago happen in real time. This time, however, Curtis didn't turn Nikki down.

-- Monkeyed up Bruno carrying Kelly up the side of the building was a total King Kong moment.

-- Who'd have though we'd ever see Nathan and Simon bonding? Over his lost virginity no less. Perfect.

Quotes:

Kelly: “I meet a guy who I really like and he's a fucking monkey!”
Nathan: “Well, technically he's a gorilla. But you...you know, let's not go there.”

Probation Worker: “I know women. I know what they're like.”
Nathan: “Is that because you used to be one?”

Nathan: “I walked in on her. She was right there, bent over, pointing her cute arse at me. What am I supposed to do, poke my eyes out with a stick?”

Nathan: “Do the maths.”
Simon: “There is no maths.”
Nathan: “Right, she was here, plus no-one was around. Times, she caught me leering at her semi-naked. Divided by, all the weird shit that happens to us. Equals guilty.”

Nathan: “And, did you know that some of these marathon runners shit themselves?”

Kelly: “What's your name?”
Bruno: “Bruno.”
Kelly: “What kind of a shit name is that?”

Nathan: “”She's like one of those evil bitch spiders. They lure you into their web, they shag you, then they kill you and then they eat their own faeces.”

Being Human: Another Fine Mess

George: I'm not the pervert, that's my housemate. And actually, he's not a pervert either.

If I thought I was going to have trouble writing the review for the third episode, I should have seen how difficult I would find it writing this review. I thought it was an incredibly strong episode; addressing just how two men living together can be seen from the outside, the familial love of a parent and child, as well as just how far someone will go for someone they love.

I'm glad that the writers didn't leave the video storyline hanging. I didn't expect them to use it with Bernie. In hindsight, it became pretty obvious that it may happen, but still ... Oh, Mitchell. I'm glad that storyline is over.

The series has gone strength to strength when it comes to their guest characters. First Tully, then Gilbert and now Bernie. I believed the blossoming friendship between Mitchell and Bernie; Mitchell (as well as George and Annie) really needed a friend outside of vampires and his housemates. He just picked someone who could get him in trouble. However, with regards to Bernie's mum, Bernie really needed an authoritive figure to look out for him and keep him safe.

I'm rather thankful that Annie was in the background this episode. Her popping up here and there, causing vases to explode and not really having a storyline made it easier for me to focus on Mitchell and George's dilemma with the community. Being attacked by their neighbours for something they weren't, rather than for what they are, made the realisation that the group really are alone even more tragic and obvious. George's reaction to the misspelling of the word 'Paedophile', along with other small moments, kept the episode light enough with humour so that it didn't get extremely heavy. With a plotline such as this, it is easy to get lost in the situation, and not be able to get back out of the hole. I think I just mixed metaphors. George would not be happy.

Nina's misunderstanding of George's "problem", thinking he was a paedophile, rather than a werewolf, will hopefully come to a head soon. I like Nina and George and I really wish that George could tell her that he is a supernatural being. But I guess they don't make a Hallmark card for that. I hope Nina isn't going to look into George's past to work out what is wrong with him.

The small sections with Lauren, Herrick and Owen kept us in the loop on the other storylines in the series. I find Herrick and his Vampire Revolution starting to bore me. Maybe because it just seemed too out of place in the episode for me, but I don't think Herrick or Seth really needed to be in it. Lauren was a lot like Annie in the episode, with one scene with Mitchell at the bowling alley and then poof! This works for me. I genuinely thought that she was going to attack Bernie or Mitchell, but thankfully, I was wrong.

The episode's climax - Little Bernie, the boy who pretty much started the problem for George and Mitchell, gets hit by a car, along with Mitchell, who tries to save him. Shocking, but sadly predictable. However, I honestly did not expect Mitchell to turn Bernie in order to save him. He came out, so to speak, to Bernie's mum in the ICU about being a vampire and that he could save Bernie. After what happened with Becca in the first episode, you would think we wouldn't change his mind. I honestly thought that Bernie's mum would turn Mitchell's offer down. I loved the set up in the morgue for the scene in the train station. When Bernie arrived and told his mum that he was hungry, I yelled, "Oh my God, don't eat your mum!". I hope that Bernie is seen or mentioned in the future, but I wouldn't be torn if he wasn't.

Bites and Pieces:

-- I loved the Laurel and Hardy figurines. Very cute.

-- How adorable was George, Mitchell and Bernie's little picnic in the house? I used to do that with my sisters when we were little.

-- More dysfunctional George and Nina, please.

Quotes:

Mitchell: Where do I belong? Where do I fit? Who are my people? Where do my loyalties lie? We all choose our tribe. It's that need to belong, to live within boundaries, cause it's scary on the outside, on the fringes. Some labels are forced on us. They mock us, set us apart 'til we're like ghosts, drifting through other people's lives. But only if we let the labels hold. You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be. It's when you've worked out who you are that you can really start to live.

Annie: For all I know this could be perfectly normal. You find out your fiancé killed you, you become a throwing things about ghost.
Mitchell: Poltergeist.
Annie: See, you know the terms, you know how this works. I mean, do you know if I can channel it because I have been dying to pull that fridge out and clean behind it.

[Looking at a figurine of Laurel and Hardy]
Bernie: Who are they?
Mitchell: Are you serious? They're Laurel and Hardy!
Bernie: Was the fat one Prime Minister?
George: You might be thinking of Churchill.
Annie: Or Hitler - same 'tache.

Nina: Saying 'it's not you, it's me' is a stabbable offence in my book and I can easily get my hands on scalpels.

George: Who keeps their rotten tomatoes? Who looks in their salad cooler, sees their tomatoes are on the turn and thinks 'oh no, no I'll hang on to those in case some paedos move in opposite'?

George: What else have you got up there, some German scat inside Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
Annie: How many times have you watched it?
Mitchell: I've never even seen any scat. Oh well, just that first time, to see what it was...

Two ... Okay, maybe three out of four Laurel and Hardy figurines.

(I would like to apologise for not posting up a review in the last couple of weeks. I feel dreadful about it, and I promise it won't happen again. After a frustrating week of travelling, electrical storms and losing my money card, I can safely say that I am back.)

Morgan India.

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Warehouse 13: Secret Santa

... in which Pete and Myka head to L.A. to investigate a Bad Santa attack, while Claudia celebrates her “first time in forever” holidays with people in her life by attempting to find the perfect gifts for her Warehouse family.

This was an enjoyable episode, but not an instant holiday classic. While I appreciate that the show went for overall theme about fathers and estranged children and letting the time slip away (“Cat’s in the Cradle, huh?”), the main plot with Santa Newley didn’t really work for me. It was mildly entertaining at first, with the zaniness of Angry Badass Santa threatening the mall developer and calling him “Larry Noodle,” but by the time it devolved into the whole “rich dude who’s too busy to spend time with his kid learns important life lesson and has big cheesy bonding hug with his family” conclusion, I was groaning and rolling my eyes. Whereas the Eureka Christmas episode managed to ground its predictable and sentimental holiday lesson in the emotions of its main characters, the A-plot for ‘Secret Santa’ was based around some guy we didn’t really care about, so the resolution ended up feeling forced and cheesy instead of sappy, but still kind of sweet.

On the other hand, the subplot with Claudia, Artie, and Artie’s father was rooted entirely in our main characters’ histories and emotions, and as such, it was fun and emotionally resonant. I got a huge kick out of Claudia’s maneuvering to get Artie and his father to repair their rift. Her dual “he’s dying” lies were hilarious, especially with her brother’s exasperated background reactions. “Holy Mother of God!” And every scene between Judd Hirsch and Saul Rubinek was chock full of awesome. From their tentative awkward overtures, to hugging it out, to their angry accusations upon discovering no one was dying, to finally bonding over the annoying Gentile who reminded them of “Trudy.” Plus, they effectively managed to undercut any excess in sentimentality during the piano scene by having Artie and his father fall into mild bickering and kibitzing. “You’re ruining a perfect moment.” “You’re ruining a perfectly good piece of music.” Although, to be perfectly honest, in this case I wouldn’t have minded if they’d just let it be emotional.

Likewise, the closing dinner scene and the few schmaltzy holiday beats with Pete and Myka worked pretty well for me. I loved Pete and Myka’s usual sibling banter (“Do not eat the stuffing out of the bowl! … I don’t want your cooties!”), but I also really enjoyed their short scene discussing their relationships with their dads, and their final recognition that they were with family for the holidays. Because we know these characters and their relationship, the latter moment felt sweet and earned instead of cheese-tastic. And since they didn’t really let the sap linger too long, how could I object?

Pete: “I realized I was already with someone that I cared about and that’s what matters, right?”
Myka (smiling): “Don’t you get all mushy and sweet.”
Pete: “Oh, all right, Ophelia Tetons. Bam!”

Other Thoughts

Given how many times the ornaments for Callie were mentioned, it seemed pretty clear that one of them would turn out to be the artifact. I gotta say, I didn’t quite understand how the thing worked. It was just imbued with wish-granting powers because it was created on a special day in history chock full of unusual good will? Weird.

The holiday changes to the opening credits and the commercial cutaways were fun!

Claudia: “Poor, Artie. It must be exhausting to be that grouchy without even time off for the holidays.”

Mr. Weisfelt: “Hearing the little bastards bang out ‘Moonlight Sonata,’ no wonder Beethoven went deaf.”

I’ve often wondered: does the Warehouse Team have some kind of magical transport device? Because I don’t understand how Claudia and Joshua made it to Philadelphia and back (with a piano!), seemingly within the space of a few hours. On Christmas Eve, no less!

Mr. Weisfelt: “She’s not yours, is she?”
Artie: “God, no, no! She wasn’t even born of man. She nudged her way into existence.”

Loved, loved, loved the personalized t-shirts featuring the artifact that almost killed each of them. “Oh my god, I LOVE IT!!!” Just hilarious.

I’m assuming this episode is supposed to take place at some point during the events of last season. Of course it would have to be after ‘Merge with Caution,’ given that Mata Hari’s stockings was the artifact on Artie’s t-shirt.

Final Analysis: A fun outing, featuring an entertaining and sweet "Ardia" subplot and plenty of witty Warehouse banter, but I could have done without the predictable and overly sappy “Scrooge sees the light and changes his ways” ending for the Bad Santa story.

Eureka: O Little Town

... in which the great scientific minds of Eureka take on the “magical” Christmas season.

Smallville: Luthor

Clark: "Luthor blood is Luthor blood. It's poison."

This episode was terrific. It was like we went back to season five or six. Either that, or the evil quotient got dialed up to eleven.

Glee: A Very Glee Christmas

Awwwwwwwwwwww. This week’s Glee may have been cheesy as all get-out, but if you can’t stomach it at Christmas then you’re lactose intolerant. My heart has melted into a big pile of snowy slush with food colouring in it. “You can eat that you know.”

Clap Your Hands if You Believe in Santa

Brittany’s innocence is the gift that keeps on giving. It not only provided the perfect vehicle for a Glee Santa story, but gave all the other glee kids a chance to act much nicer than they normally do, especially Artie. He and Brittany are a strange couple, but they just might be my favourite couple on the show. I enjoyed all the unconventional Santas, and they don’t come much more original than Coach Bieste pulling down her beard and tossing Brittany off her lap for a chat on the couch. I suspected that Sue was behind Artie’s new legs, but seems like it was the Bieste? Is she really that rich? I also liked that Brittany still believed at the end of the episode. Don’t stop believing, Brittany.

Christmas is a Time for Forgiveness

The Rachel and Finn scenes were much more pleasant to watch this week. Maybe it was the holiday spirit, maybe it was the minimal talking (I like them both more when they’re singing) but I wasn’t nearly as annoyed by them as last week. I thought Rachel’s repeated attempts to apologise were very in character – only she would go to the lengths of 20+ Christmas trees and fake snow to stage an apology. The set with the real trees seemed completely tame in comparison. I’m with Finn, I much prefer real ones, although Brittany’s shocking pink tree was perfect for her.

Sue the Grinch

If you push aside the tiny niggle that Sue was totally, gloriously evil for most of the episode and creepily, uncharacteristically nice at the end after being transformed by the power of the glee club’s voices, then her plot this week was a bucket of awesome. I really enjoyed her acceptance that she was making up for a lack of presents in her childhood, and the glee (there’s no other word for it!) with which she stole Christmas. It was very Sue to already have boned up on the relevant laws before Will and Bieste came a’knocking. The last scene was sweet and all, but I enjoyed Grinchy Sue too much to be completely satisfied with her contrition.

Bits and Pieces

-- Nice brooch Emma. Apparently everyone else at McKinley thinks Christmas is an excuse to wear awful jumpers and tartan apparel. Kurt, come back – they need you!

-- Loved the teacher throwing her shoe at New Directions

-- As soon as Emma picked her secret santa and rolled her eyes, I thought she must have gotten Sue. Good misdirection showing us that Will had her.

-- Brilliant present ideas for Sue list -
1) Dog Robot
2) A Soul

-- I was hoping that Blaine and Kurt would be doing more than singing, but at least we got an admission that Kurt is just a little bit head over heels in love!

-- That ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ Terri flashback was amusing but not enough. Bring back the shrew!

-- The New Directions kids' Christmas present requests on Santa’s knee were hilarious. “When does Asian Santa arrive?”

-- Becky was the cutest Rein-dog possible!

Glee Against the Music:

"The Most Wonderful Day of the Year"
It was a nice start to the episode, but by the end of the episode I was thoroughly tired of tree decorating – and I haven’t even done my own yet! Strange that the kids were wrapping lots of presents and yet Puck later said he’d nicked them. Grade B-.

"We Need a Little Christmas"
I wouldn’t have thrown a shoe, but I wasn’t inspired by this. C.

"Merry Christmas, Darling"
Rachel must have spent a bomb on this. It paid off - the set was great and the song was beautifully sung, if not especially engaging. B.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"
This is such an awesome song. Kurt and Blaine did it brilliantly too. Nice touch with the man on man version, but I’ve done that before myself so it wasn’t a surprise. It could only have been made better with a little bit more romance. B+

"You're a Mean One, Sue the Grinch"
Great fun! Matthew Morrison’s voice is so smooth, it fit very well with scenes of confident, mischievous Sue being aided and abetted by adorable Rein-dog Becky. B+

"Last Christmas"
Gorgeous song, and I enjoyed the direction too, especially the high shot at the end with all the lights and the trees. B+

"Welcome Christmas"
This was beautiful, I concur with Becky and Sue. B+

Quotes for Gleeks:

Will: “Someone special?”
Kurt: “No, just a friend. But on the upside, I’m in love with him and he’s actually gay. I’d call that progress!”

Rachel: “You don’t know how many kittens I’ve given away because they haven’t been just right.”

Emma: “...Oh, Sue. I drew her as my Secret Santa.”
Will: “Wait a minute, that’s not possible, Sue’s MY Secret Santa.”
Bieste: “No, Sue’s MY Secret Santa!”
Sue: “I’m Everybody’s Secret Santa.”

Brittany: "The roads to the North Pole are getting treacherous."

Artie: “I told my parents that I only want one thing for Christmas this year: Stop friend requesting me on Facebook.”

Brittany: “Can I be honest? I don’t understand the difference between an elf and a slave.”

Lauren: “I would like Puckerman to love me. He’s a fox.”

Santana: “I want bling. I can’t be any more specific than that.”

Mike: “I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.”

Sue: “Becky, go into the glove box of my Le Car and bring me my tear gas, then get me Gloria Allred.”

Artie: “...she’s gonna lose faith in Old Saint Nick and we can’t have that.”
Sam: “Tell her the elves are working on it. Elves have awesome cord blood for stem cell research, but these advances are a few years away.”

Sue: “As satisfying as it is to have been gifted enough rotisserie ovens to roast en entire hobo, for me the real joy of Christmas was breaking the collective heart of the glee club.”

Sue: “I thought you might want to put all of us out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.”

Quote of the Week is Brittany’s again:
“Last year I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation and an entire family of mice started living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.”

Three out of four tracksuits with fur-lined hoods. Merry Christmas Gleeks!