by Josie Kafka
Two people with high hotness rankings in one small room? Sneakiness makes an already sexy situation hotter, doesn’t it? About 38% hotter, in fact. What are the odds they’d be discovered? Maybe Professor Slim Calves can tell us. In fact, odds are that any secret will eventually be outed by the group.
Professor Slim Calves is in for a surprise, of course: if she’d only asked Britta, she’d know not to expect flowers, parents, or even being called a girlfriend rather than the “best friend ever” from the man she has been sleeping with for three weeks. In the past two episodes, Jeff gradually managed to admit that he’s a member of a group. He’s even willing to admit to friendship with the sexy statistics prof. But calling someone a girlfriend? He’s a guy who just added names to physical descriptors in his phone just a few episodes ago. I give it one more episode, tops.
Britta’s and Troy’s secret shame was a little more fun than the tried-and-true (the Jim Belushi, if you will) of sitcom plots: the commitment-phobe learns something about himself, and a girl finally admits she has a thing for him. That Britta’s feelings for Jeff were worked out to the tune of “Tea for Two” was delightful. That her teapot was breakaway—just like Troy’s pants—was delightfuler. And that Troy found his manhood while wearing a leotard? Delightfulest.
There was some Troy/Britta sparkage in the backstage hug, right? And some resolution to the Britta/Jeff tension? Britta didn’t think Dr. Sexy Statistics should expect flowers, but Britta got some. While the odds are that Jeff’s relationship won’t last more than one more episode, I’ll bet this friendship really does work out.
I have several questions. Firstly, if Jeff is the number two hottest person on campus, who is number one? Secondly, how are the rest of the group ranked? Thirdly, when did Pierce - PIERCE! - learn how to upload juicy gossip onto Twitter from his phone? (I suspect he really did die and has been replaced by an equally bigoted but more tech-savvy replicant) Fourthly, despite the racy subject matter, would Kate Winslet get an Oscar nomination for Our Library's Back Door Conundrum? Fifthly, will Community ever get tired of making digs at Jim Belushi? Sixthly, Annie was clearly upset by Troy's dance with Britta, but what was Abed feeling in that moment? And finally, where can I get a steady supply of break-a-way clothing?
Answers on a postcard please.
Cool Cool Cool:
• Abed: “Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet.”
• Jeff: “Can’t I be the friend in the group whose trademark is boundaries? Like Privacy Smurf, Discrete Bear, or Confidentiality Spice?”
• Troy: “Girls are supposed to dance. That’s why God gave them parts that jiggle.”
• Abed dancing.
Three and a half out of four prelimiwows.