The Fades: Episode 3 (God and Man Don't Believe in Modern Love)

“I grow wings when I ejaculate.”

Kids today, eh? They might have the good sense to use protection in the bedroom but they still don't look both ways while crossing the street.

Episode 3 shares a lot of the same problems as Episode 2. Everything is still moving along at a snail's pace. It has no story of its own and instead drifts back and forth between the various plot threads. Looking at the series as a whole, I think Jack Thorne only had four episodes of actual story material. But the BBC wanted six episodes, so he had to pad out the early episodes with a lot of filler.

Fortunately, after treading water for three weeks, we finally got a sense that things were starting to happen. There was more activity in the last ten minutes of this episode then there was in the last three. Helen ascended, turning into an flock of glowy birds, leaving Neil all alone to run things. At the same time, the Angelic killer (which, incidentally, sounds like a good name for a band) regenerated into the more buff form of Joseph Dempsie, the same man Paul has started seeing in his visions. And, finally, the biggest shock of all, Paul was run over by a lorry. You know, considering how fast that truck was going when it hit him, I would've expected him to be a lot more mangled than he was.

The rest of the episode dealt with Paul's relationships with Jay and Mac, his sort of girlfriend and his soul mate. Sweet as it was seeing Mac playing Cyrano to Paul's Christian, I'm just not convinced by the Paul/Jay romance. The relationship doesn't feel like it has develop naturally, you can always sense the writer pushing the two of them together in every scene.

Poor Mac. The recaps are still annoying, but I really feel for the guy. It helps that they dialled down the geek references this week. Having your parents forget your birthday is bad enough. But your best friend/soul mate forgetting as well is just crushing. I know you've got a lot on your plate lately, Paul, what with saving the world an' all. But that is still no excuse for being so neglectful.

Notes and Quotes

--Like many involved in the series, Joseph Dempsie previously worked on Skins, This Is England '86 and Doctor Who. Not bad for one of King Robert's bastards.

--The Mark/Sarah storyline still feels like a complete waste of time.

--Only on a British show would you have your main character discovering his has angels wings during an act of self pleasure.

Mac: "I could've been naked."
Paul: "I've seen you naked."
Mac: "I could've been masturbating."
Paul: "I've seen you masturbating."
Mac: "What, when?"
Paul: "The school trip to Calais."
Mac: "You were awake..."
--Okay, too much information.

Mac: "Wow. It's a key. Am I supposed to break it off and--and give half to you and wear my bit around my neck... are we in love? Because I'm flattered, but..."
Paul: "It's to my house. Anytime--anytime things at home, your mum or your dad, 3 a.m., whenever. You just come to my place. Sleep on the sofa, sleep in my room, whatever you like. You're always welcome. Because you're family. I've cleared it with Mum."

Fringe: Forced Perspective

“Do you believe in fate?”

Forced perspective manipulates a viewer’s perception to create a visual illusion. Fringe, however, likely isn’t referring to a tourist’s snapshot of her boyfriend holding up the leaning tower of Pisa. Rather, Fringe is referring to three specific ways of grappling with both the freak-of-the-week plot and the larger thematic issues of Season Four:

Farscape: Dream a Little Dream

Zhaan tells Crichton about her misadventures with Rygel and Chiana, following Moya’s escape from the Gammak Base assault.

When it takes me forever to write a review, it’s a pretty sure bet that I found an episode “average to slightly below average.” For truly great or truly terrible episodes (and even for most “better than average” episodes), the thoughts and analysis generally flow freely and quickly, whether I’m singing the show’s praises or tearing it to shreds. But if an episode is relatively uninspired or just plain “meh,” it can be a real struggle to force myself to sit through it a second time, then come up with something interesting to say about it. When an episode like that comes along, I can turn procrastination into an art form.

It took me a month to write this review for ‘Dream a Little Dream.’ Which, as noted, doesn’t mean I thought the episode was bad. It was perfectly serviceable, but there was nothing particularly remarkable or noteworthy about it either, for good or for ill. It just kind of was. Sure, the story filled in the blanks on the side adventure hinted at in the season premiere, but it turns out that what happened to Zhaan, Rygel, and Chiana during that time wasn’t terribly compelling. They just had the misfortune to get caught up in some political maneuvering on a random planet full of lawyers, and then found themselves in a really strange episode of Law & Order.

The most interesting aspect of ‘Dream a Little Dream’ was the insight it provided into how the “non-warrior” portion of our crew coped with the seeming loss of their friends and protectors. Chiana and Rygel initially turn to drunken and generally unruly behavior to assuage their grief and anxiety, leaving Zhaan to struggle with the role of leader and mother hen. But as the strain nears the breaking point and Zhaan suddenly finds herself in real trouble, the wayward “youths” manage to pull themselves together to save her life. In the past, both Rygel and Chiana have proven themselves worthy allies when the chips are down and their interests are at stake, but I thought their refusal to leave Zhaan here, even with the deck stacked against them, was a strong testament to the bonds they’ve formed with their shipmates. Other than not wanting to abandon a falsely accused friend, they had no real reason to fight for Zhaan. They could have easily ditched her to pursue their own interests, but they didn’t. Coming so soon after Rygel’s attempt to save his own skin by selling out the crew to Scorpius and Crais, this was a particularly notable stand for him. (Ah! So there was something noteworthy about the episode after all!)

Interestingly, Zhaan --- the one you’d expect to be the calmest, toughest, and most resilient --- completely loses her head at being imprisoned again, with seemingly little hope of rescue. While Chiana and Rygel double down and stand by their friend, Zhaan succumbs to her grief and desperation, resigning herself to death and then retreating into her spirituality. I found it fascinating that she seems to only obliquely recognize her inner strength, choosing instead to see Crichton, Aeryn, and D’Argo as her source of strength, or to only see herself as strong through their eyes. Then again, given the pressures she’d been dealing with --- fighting grief, guilt, and anxiety over missing friends who may be counting on her for rescue, and having to corral the unruly children --- I can see how being back behind bars and facing a certain death sentence would break her spirit, leading to hopelessness and self-deprecation. Still, given that we know the depths of her strength, it was rather disconcerting to see her quaking in her boots and doubting herself.

Other Thoughts

Based on its production number, I believe that the bulk of this episode was intended to be the second season premiere. Yikes! I’m really glad they moved it. Aside from the devastating opening sequence --- which would have been killer (sans hazy dream fog) --- this would have been a very strange and fairly weak episode to kick off a new season, especially after that stellar first season finale. Can you imagine how awful it would have been if they’d left us hanging on the fates of Crichton, Aeryn, and D’Argo while taking us on an awkward side adventure with half our cast and a bunch of evil lawyers? Sure, Zhaan’s vision of Aeryn, Crichton, and D’Argo coming to her rescue would have had more impact (because we might have believed they were really there until they dissolved), but that brief dramatic punch would have been a poor tradeoff for the continued wait.

The episode did have some amusing (and yet disheartening) commentary on lawyers and the complexity of the law. “As more and more of our people devoted themselves to the law, the law had to grow more complex to justify them all.”

Moreover, Rygel and Chiana playing at attorneys was pretty darn funny. Especially Rygel struggling not to lie --- “[Resigned] No questions, your honor” --- and Chiana in “hangover recovery” overdrive. “Yes, your honor, yes. I have questions for the witness, yes I do. Oh-oh-oh, I definitely do. Oh, I definitely, definitely do. Did I say I did? Because I do.” Plus, after his failure at the mining colony last week, it was nice to see Rygel cheat and win. He is an excellent cheater.

I really loved the little touch of Rygel holding Zhaan’s hand as she sat, silently chanting in her cell. He’s a self-interested slug, but he still cares.

Moya and Pilot also got a brief moment to shine (no pun intended) when they forestalled the search for Talyn after realizing the depth of the danger Zhaan, Rygel, and Chiana were facing. “She could not leave you like that.”

Overall, I found the framing device with Zhaan and Crichton in the transport pod awkward and forced, but it did lead to a lovely little closing moment between the two.

Crichton: “You okay?”
Zhaan: “I think so. [Rests her head on his shoulder.] Thank you for your compassion.”
Crichton: “I thank you for yours.” [Gently leans his head against hers.]

Quotes

Zhaan: “You getting dren-faced is not helping, Rygel.”
Rygel: “Well, it’s helping me.”

Zhaan: “I’ve seen the way that you two have handled your anxiety over the fate of Aeryn, Crichton, and D’Argo. I hate to think of how you’re now going to handle your grief … [voice breaking] and your loss.”

Rygel (to Chiana): “I thought we might even pull this off. But you and me, not lying? Are you mad?!”

Zhaan: “I do not want you and Rygel to die with me. I refuse to carry the guilt of any more deaths into the afterlife.”
Rygel: “We haven’t lied yet. Of course, the trial’s only been on for a few microts.”

Ja Rhumann: “Trust me. I’m a lawyer.”
Funniest line in the whole episode.

Pilot: “Moya wants to know --- I want to know --- if you stay, will you be able to save Zhaan?”
Rygel: “I think I may have a way. It’s chancy, and will require lashings of deception and trickery.”
Chiana (smiling): “Finally. You and I get to play to our strengths.”

Crichton: “Screw ‘em, Zhanny. You’re a tenth level, Pa’u. You get to eleven, we get a TV ministry.”
Zhaan: “If I may be honest, John, most of the time, I have no idea what you’re saying.”
Crichton: “Neither do I.”

Final Analysis: “Average to slightly below average.” With a couple lovely grace notes.

Breaking Bad: Grilled

"We tried to poison you because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die."

When you know your main characters will live through an experience, it takes really outstanding writing and acting to get the audience to fear for them. Mission accomplished.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Series Finale

[This dual review by Josie and Mark covers the last two episodes of Chuck, “Chuck versus Sarah” and “Chuck versus the Goodbye.” If you don’t want to be spoiled on how it all ends, click no further! If you do want to know the ending--as well as the meaning of life--click on.]


Josie’s Take

Last February, I gave up on Chuck. The plot holes and problems-of-the-week were starting to drain me, and I’d lost my affection for a show whose biggest strength is creating fondness out of nothing more than thin air, sub sandwiches, and quips. No one loves Chuck because it’s the best, or the riskiest, or the prettiest, or the most inventive. People love Chuck for the same reason Sarah loves Chuck: because he is what he is.

In that last review, I concluded with this statement: “Our heroes…are all about the connections. It’s that theme of Josh Schwartz shows that I particularly like, and it was the guiding principle of The O.C. for most of the series: people coming together and risking a lot in order to protect their loved ones.”

It’s odd, then that this finale wasn’t about people coming together, but people moving apart. Ellie, Awesome, and Baby Clara are on their way to Chicago and a pair of prestigious jobs. Casey has moved out of the apartment complex and on to more spy games and a woman named Gertrude. Alex (Casey’s daughter) and Morgan are moving in together—which just emphasizes that Morgan and Chuck have really moved past the roommate stage.

And Chuck and Sarah? That’s the question, isn’t it? Sarah lost her memory in the antepenultimate episode “Chuck versus the Bullet Train,” and by the end of the two-part series finale, it was left up to the viewer to decide if she’d officially regained it. We know that bits and pieces were coming back. We know that she seemed to enjoy Chuck’s stories about their life together. And we hope that the kiss worked its magic, just like in a Disney movie.

It wasn’t the ending I wanted, but I’m happy with the ending we’ve got. I choose to believe that Sarah regains her memories, and that she and Chuck ride off into the sunset towards their adorable house and a life of bourgeoisie respectability. At the very least, Sarah seems willing to consider the possibility that she loves her geekish husband, and there’s possibility there. Their relationship has come full circle since the pilot, and now—having completed that circle—there’s a chance for them to start afresh.

Mark’s Take

I stopped watching Chuck at the end of season four. Although I still had some affection for the series, it no longer offered a good reason for me to keep tuning in every week. But I still wanted to see the finale because I had to know how it all ends for Chuck, Sarah, Casey, Morgan and the rest of Team Bartowski.

I often rate series finales in terms of Star Treks. On very rare occasions you get absolute perfection (TNG). The majority of the time, though, you have to settle for great but could've been better (DS9). Other times they can be entertaining but at the same time a wasted opportunity (VOY). Too many times a show is cancelled before the writers can wrap everything up in a satisfying manor (TOS). And sometimes you get finales where your first response after watching is to scream “dear god, what did we do to make them hate us so much?” as loudly as possible (ENT).

I would rate this a definite DS9. The story wasn't that great and Quinn made for a rather lame final villain. There not much to the character and Angus Macfadyen's heart clearly wasn't in it. But those final goodbyes really got to me. I was surprised by just how emotional I actually got. Even though I drifted away from the show, I never stopped caring about these characters and it was sad saying goodbye to them. I was even starting to tear up at the end, as Chuck and Sarah shared that final, magical kiss. So I'll finish by saying a big thank you to cast and crew of Chuck. Our time together might not have been perfect but I don't regret a second of it. And I leave you all with some of things I've loved most about Chuck:

• Adam Baldwin's many grunts.

• The general awesomeness of Captain Awesome.

• Fantastic guest stars like Scott Bakula, Linda Hamilton, Timothy Dalton (unquestionable the series best villain), Mark Hamill, Tony Todd, John Larroquette, Rachel Bilson, Bruce Boxleitner, Morgan Fairchild, Tony Hale, Jordana Brewster, Melinda Clarke, Christopher Lloyd, Summer Glau, Robert Englund, Fred Willard, Swoozie Kurtz, Carrie-Ann Moss, a trio of Greendale almuni (Danny Pudi, Chevy Chase, Yvette Nicole Brown), Gary Cole, Mark Sheppard (because its illegal to make a genre show without him) and loads, loads more.

• The unique music of Jeffster! But not Jeff and Lester. They are one of the reasons I started to fall out of love with Chuck in the first place.

• Yvonne Strahovski beating the crap out of Nicole Richie to the sweet sounds of “Smack My Bitch Up”. I like to see this as a symbolic battle between proper television and the unholy scourge that is 'reality' TV.


What do you think? Did the season finale of the little show that could earn four out of four first dates?

Merlin: The Dragon's Call

“None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it.”

You know, Doctor Who has a lot to answer for.

Once Upon a Time: Desperate Souls

"Looks like you made a deal you didn't understand. I don't think you're gonna do that again.”

I‘d never say we’d see Rumpie’s origin so soon. I expected to see a tale of greed gone too far, not of a loving father. The character that began the story and the one we know and love are so different that they seem to be unconnected, yet every step of the process felt true. That’s truly good writing.

Justified: Cut Ties

"You have the right to remain silent. As long as you can stand the pain."

Everyone was so competent. Which makes it sound like a boring episode. This was not a boring episode.

The Fades: Episode 2 (Put on Your Red Shoes and Dance the Blues)

“Don't worry. I get it. You're afraid of my sister. A lot of people are. Apparently my first response when I came out of the womb was to cower.”

I found it difficult to re-watch this one and even more difficult to review it. This has to be the worst episode of the entire first season.

The biggest problem I had with this episode is that there was just no plot. If someone came up to me and asked me to describe exactly what happened, I'd struggle, and I've seen it three times. We got drips of new information about the Fades and the Angelis as well as a few character beats, but apart from that absolutely nothing happened. The closest we got to a genuine narrative was the build up to Anna's party. It was a classic tale of triumph over adversity that did nothing but reveal how pathologically insensitive she is. Two young boys have been brutally murdered and all she cares about is her party being cancelled. Bloody hell, Anna, you could at least pretend to give a shit. It is what human beings do.

We're two episodes in now, and it still looks like he can't decide whether or not he wants The Fades to be a teen drama or supernatural thriller. As a teen drama, The Fades is less Skins and more Grange Hill. Yes, there's swearing, sexual references and a looming zombie apocalypse, but apart from that this is all just bog standard teen stuff. And as a supernatural thriller, so far The Fades is rather generic and not clever enough to realise (nor subvert) how clichéd it is. It's like Paul Kelly said last week: Thorne seems to have no real understanding of the genre. It's easy to imagine that he simply watched a load of movies and TV shows and took notes.

I'm still having a problem with all the characters. I do want to like Paul, despite Iain de Caestecker only ever having the same confused/surprised look on his face. He's got that appealing everyman quality to him, but at the same time is a little too everyman. There isn't anything about him that really stands out (with the exception of his wardrobe). In fact, the only thing he has going for him at the moment is that he isn't as annoying as Mac.

Mac's excessive geekiness really needs to be toned down. We get it, Jack, him and Paul are massive geeks. You don't need to keep hitting us over the head with all these lazy pop culture references. This episode did give us some insight into his pretty horrible home life. It didn't make me instantly like him, but I did feel really sorry for him. Which I would say is a definite step in the right direction.

Notes and Quotes

--Flesh eating ghost I'll buy, but I find it hard to believe that someone who looks like Neil, could just walk into Paul's school and take him away without anyone stopping them.

--Mac's dad is the same policeman investigating Sarah's disappearance. If the writer's plan was for us to instantly dislike Mac's dad then it worked. I don't care how much pressure you're under at work, or how loud they are playing their music, there is never, ever a valid excuse for getting drunk and hurting your child.

--Neil, I know you're a bit of a shut in, but surely you know that people should never split up when they're in an creepy abandoned building?

--Poor Natalie Dormer. Not only is she given very little to do, she's also stuck in the dreary Mark subplot.

--Fades continue to age even after death.

--Why do the Fades keep attacking Neil but never kill him? Finish the job you lazy sods!

Paul:" There's this girl."
Mac: "Fit?"
Paul: "Dead."
Mac: "Dead fit?"
Paul: "You into necrophilia now?"

Neil: "Do you remember the first time we met?"
Paul: "Yeah, you shot at me."
Neil: "Okay, so, so maybe you remember it slightly less fondly than I do, eh?"

Mac: "Your sister was naked."
Paul: "Well, the important thing was that she was dead."
Mac: "Dead. Naked and in your bed."
Paul: "She was... it was only partial nudity."
Mac: "Maybe you're not special, maybe you're just sick."

Breaking Bad: Seven Thirty-Seven

"Seven hundred and thirty seven thousand dollars. That's what I need."

Walt and Skyler White are both going through a terribly difficult time in their lives, but there, the resemblance ends. The contrast is extreme. It's like they're on different planets.

Glee: Yes/No

So it seems Bieste has conveniently married Cooter in order to avoid having any actual fun with the plot about her and Sue fighting over a man. It’s also convenient because Emma’s thinking about being a 21st Century Girl and asking Will to marry her. Meanwhile, Becky and Artie date, and Finn thinks about joining the army.

Summer Lovin’, Happened So Fast

First off, let me apologise for the lateness of this review. I could give you excuses, but perhaps you’d rather I give you what you came here to read. This was a mildly dissatisfying episode. I was rubbed up the wrong way from the start, with Mercedes and Sam doing Grease in a performance that was not a fresh take on a great song, more exactly the same as the film but with actors from Glee. It also felt a rather hollow since Mercedes and Sam have very little chemistry and their whole romance happened off screen. Seeing as Sam had disappeared at the beginning of this Season, I didn’t invest anything in his ‘fling’ with Mercedes. Instead I took it for what it probably was – two characters the writers didn’t really a plan for being flung together in order to tie up loose threads from Season 2, despite the fact that they had zero history of connecting. This season and this episode have spent almost no time developing Merc and Sam’s relationship, so I object to the command to care about them as a couple that was implicit in Summer Lovin’.

Much as I enjoy Chord Overstreet in a bathing suit, there didn’t seem to be much point to Sam joining the swim team other than gratuitous flesh, and to set up the ridiculous We Found Love proposal. It seems the writers are running out of ideas for new characters – the swim coach was basically Sue Sylvester crossed with Martin Luther King. It didn’t work. I did feel sorry for Sam getting synchro-slushied, but Shane handled the situation fairly gracefully. In fact, he has never been anything but a supportive and loving boyfriend to Mercedes, so why are we expected to be onboard with Sam-cedes?

We Found Love in a Hopeless Place

I have to give Glee props for the sheer zaniness of casting Helen Mirren, star of The Queen to be the voice of Becky’s inner monologue. They gave her some great lines, and it was an effective way to tell Becky’s story without it getting unclear or too cute. I personally thought she sounded like a drag queen but Becky has the right to decide how she sounds so I won’t be one of the haterz! Other than awesome Ms Mirren coming out of the left field, I found this sub-plot to be rather predictable. It would have been too painful to have Artie outright reject Becky, but given what we know about Artie, completely unbelievable for them to end up together too. Despite knowing what was coming, the conclusion with Becky’s admittance that Artie didn’t want her because she had Down’s Syndrome had some real emotional weight, and allowed us a rare moment to watch Sue be kind without expecting some cutting remark right after. It’s also good to see a character grow from something more than a one-liner machine into a believable person, and that’s what Becky did this week. I only hope the Glee will recognise and build on that growth in future episodes.

I’ve Got The Wedding Bell Blues

Where this episode really fell down was with Mr Shue. Will used to be a fairly solid and consistent character that could be relied upon to crush on Emma, actually teach his glee club, and be frustrated yet naive about his scheming wife Terri. We all wanted Will to escape his circumstances and take New Directions as far as they could go. We wanted him to get together with Emma. Now Will is proposing to her and my first response is to roll my eyes, why is that? Maybe it’s because Season 3 has spent many episodes giving no time to Will and Emma as a couple, not showing them progress in any way. There have been many promises of this happening, such when Will promised to help Emma recover from her OCD. Now apparently Will feels Emma’s OCD is hopeless, presumably so that the lyrics of We Found Love will make more sense as his proposal. Emma’s obnoxious parents return which at least reminds us why Emma might not have much inner strength to fight her compulsion – she’s growing up enduring people who would rather not see her marry a man who loves her. Emma’s speech to Will about accepting her as she is did resonate with me, probably more due to Jayma Mays and her big doe eyes rather than the quality of the material. Although the eventual proposal was fun, I couldn’t help feeling like this was all a bit of a charade, happening between the writers decreed it time for this episode, rather than because Will and Emma had been moving towards this for some time. Will in particular had such a strong arc in Season One – it feels almost nonexistent this year.

Loved

- Sugar hasn’t been forgotten about completely. Not that I like her, but I don’t like characters being thrown away.

- The one plotline that never seems to get forgotten this season is the students’ impending graduation and more importantly, what comes after? It’s a big question which Rachel, Kurt and Finn have all wrestled with, and although Finn’s army ideas seemed rather out of the blue (they should have been built up over a few episodes ever since his football dreams were crushed), it made sense that he should be thinking about this stuff. The reveal of Finn’s father’s suicide had some gravitas to it, but I found the scene where he was told – in school with his mother and father figures all sitting far away from him rather unbelievable, it should have been set at home.

- Is Mr Shue secretly Jesus?

- It makes complete sense that Finn would propose to Rachel. And I also love the fact that I have no idea whether she’ll say Yes or No.

Didn’t Love

- Sugar sang, and it sounded good! I thought one of her 3 personality traits was ‘untrainable’. Maybe I didn’t give Shelby enough credit.

- Mr Shue slo-mo dancing – no-no.

- I very much Don’t Love the clashing narrative devices of mimesis, where characters are knowingly putting on a performance (which is what Glee normally does) and diegesis, with characters unknowingly bursting into song which is more akin to traditional musicals and only really works when the story full commits to it. Occasionally you have something stellar like Once More, With Feeling that made us think the narrative was diegetic and then revealed it to be mimetic, with the characters all aware they were singing and in that case, trying to discover the cause of it. Yes/No isn’t the same, the first two songs were very much in musical mode and the rest of them were New Directions performances, with no explanation for the switch in narrative.

- Too many recent chart hits that seemed to be included for no reason. I’ll forgive We Found Love, but Moves Like Jagger and Without You didn’t need to be there – I could just imagine Ryan Murphy’s eyes turning into dollar signs from all the iTunes downloads this episode will generate. Don’t be a sell-out, Glee.

Glee Against The Music

Summer Nights from Grease performed by Mercedes and Sam with New Directions:
On the first watch, I just went with it and enjoyed the song, but after I watched through and discovered we weren’t being asked to suspend disbelief about the characters this was just the writers being damn lazy. Grade C-

Wedding Bell Blues by Laura Nyro performed by Emma with Sue and Shannon:
I have already bitched about this, but Glee asking us to suspend disbelief for the first two songs (to the point of watching Sue and Bieste backing Emma), then dropping the whole idea for the rest of the episode, was really jarring. I couldn’t get into it during this song. Grade D+

Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash by Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera/Rolling Stones performed by Artie with Will and New Directions Boys:
This has been on my iPod for over a month – it’s a brilliant mashup and Artie was great on lead vocal here, but I sort of wish I’d never seen it in the context of the show. This was somehow supposed to be a proposal to Emma? What?! Taken as a standalone performance it was great, the choreography, the set and the arrangement all worked (the weird neck scarves didn’t though), but it didn’t fit into the episode. Grade B

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack performed by Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, and Tina:
Paper thin set-up for the song, but it was a beautiful performance. Despite it feeling a bit forced, I did enjoy seeing the girls meet their respective significant others for the first time. Grade B

Without You by David Guetta ft. Usher performed by Rachel:
The transition from Rachel imagining singing at Breadsticks, to the real choir room performance, to Finn imagining Rachel coming up to him was done well, it was clear what was going on and I like that we saw the flow of Rachel realising Finn needed reminding that he had something really special in his life, to Finn waking up to that fact in the choir room. I think it could have been tied into the Finn army plot better, but all in all a good effort. Grade B+

We Found Love by Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris performed by Rachel and Santana:
I am glad Glee can still pull off a performance like this, something completely ridiculous yet amazing, one that makes me think ‘this would never happen in a real high school but I really don’t care’. I think the last time was Umbrella/Singin’ In The Rain. Although I’m sure the song was primarily chosen because it would sell well, there’s an interesting parallel between Emma needing drugs to get better and make her relationship work, and Rihanna's video in which recreational drugs destroy her relationship. Hmm, maybe it’s best not to peer too deeply at this stuff. Grade B+

Quotes for Gleeks

Becky: “I, Becky Faye Jackson, am the hottest bitch at McKinley High School.”

Becky: “No Chang do, I’m no rice queen.”

Sue: “Well, Michael Chiklis in a wig, I would like to offer my congratulations. I’ve been bested. I guess it’s time to call Boreanaz.”

Sugar: “I just think we’d look really weird together. It’s not that you’re disabled, it’s cuz I’m abled and people are really mean. I’m really worried that people are gonna think your legs look thinner than my arms.”

Finn: “Dude, you’re in synchronized swimming and glee club. That’s like some kind of weird death wish.”

Artie: “What’s your favorite movie?"
Becky: “Schindler’s List."
Artie: “Seriously?"
Becky: “Toy Story 3 is a close second."

Sue: “For God’s sake, can you maybe go one day without the driving gloves? It’s a wheelchair, Artie, not a Porsche.”

Finn: “Rachel Berry, will you marry me?"

I’m growing increasingly dissatisfied with the sloppy storytelling and the cavalier treatment of characters, but there were still some good moments here. Yes/No – I’d prefer Ask Again Later. Two out of four incredibly sexy bathing suits (yes, I’m talking about Santana).

Alcatraz: Kit Nelson

We're not officially covering Alcatraz here at billiedoux.com. We've got lots of shows to watch and to write about, and we're not fully convinced that Alcatraz has the staying power of some of our current faves. But we are watching it, and we suspect at least some of you are, too.

Fringe: Enemy of My Enemy

“You don’t know me, or what I’m capable of.”

Peter has finally succeeded at what he intended to do: bridging the gap between Over Here and Over There. At the end of Season Three, Peter put everything on the line to broker a peace between the two universes—and we all know how that turned out. Now, Peter’s wildcard status has brought both sides together to fight a common foe. As the saying goes, the enemy of my…oh.

Vampire Diaries: The Ties That Bind

“You’re not the only one that changed. We all had to.”

After a long, long streak of perfect or near-perfect episodes, VD finally managed to underwhelm me this week. That’s not to say this is a bad episode: it had many great moments and put some interesting pieces into play. But the spotlight is on Bonnie and Tyler this week, and they’re my two least favorite heroes.

Underworld: Awakening

Have you ever been to a sequel to a movie franchise you like and think; this was a good installment, I enjoyed it, but I want a little more? Well, that's kind of the way I feel right now. Don't get me wrong, I definitely liked this one, but as I'm trying to conjure up a stronger feeling to make writing this review easier, I find I can't really summon anything.

So what can I say about it?

(Mild spoilers ahead, but nothing beyond what can be found in the trailers.)

Well, for one, it didn't pull an Alien 3 and destroy everything that came before it. But they robbed the heroine of a lot of time, twelve years in fact. Time that could've been used to soften her, and mature her out of her angry adolescence. (Which is kind of funny considering she's supposed to be centuries old. I guess she has some long lasting rage issues.) In a lot of ways she's still dealing with the events that happened in the first movie, events of betrayal and violence. It also worked to give her a solid reason for her apparent coldness.

But I wonder if it isn't a bit of a cop out, especially with the new character that's introduced -- a hybrid child who is about twelve years old. I won't elaborate further, but the dynamic between Selene and this girl is one of the few character strengths in this film. Unfortunately, it is also one of the problems. The characters are all broad stroke archetypes with no real history or detailed motivations. Yet they do tell us enough that we understand them and connect with them on a basic level, for the most part. I just wish we'd gotten more of those quiet moments of exposition and character growth, instead of just a series of interconnected chase/fight sequences that I have a vague feeling I've seen before. I also wish they had fixed some of the iffy special effects that have plagued the series from the start.

But this was a good installment in what has been an unabashedly violent and fun vampire versus werewolf gorefest of a series. I liked the ending. I liked that they didn't destroy three movies worth of continuity. I liked that they stayed true to the look and atmosphere of the series. I liked that they continued the war started in the first film, but took it in a new direction. I liked that they brought back Kate Beckinsale, because she is really the reason the franchise exists. I missed some of the vampire politics, but given the nature of the story, that's understandable.

I recommend it to fans since it does push the continuing story forward. But if you haven't seen the rest, you might not get much out of it beyond the cool action scenes, and Kate Beckinsale looking awesome and killing people in a variety of gruesome ways.

I'd give this installment two and a half giant rampaging werewolves out of four.

Dead as a Doornail by Charlaine Harris

[Although I don't reveal whodunit, this review contains spoilers.]

"The next time someone told me I had to watch a supernatural rite, I was going to tell him I had to wash my hair."

Synopsis

A sniper is shooting shifters, but since most of the world is unaware that shifters exist, only the local supes make the connection. A werefox named Heather Kinman is killed, werepanther Calvin Norris from Hotshot is seriously injured and hospitalized, and Sam is shot in the leg. Sookie is also shot because the sniper is aware that she is "different." Sookie's house is set on fire in the middle of the night, and fairy Claudine saves her life.

In between all the mayhem and no longer dating vampires, Sookie begins to explore shifters as a romantic possibility, but things don't seem to take off with Sam and Calvin, and Alcide blackmails Sookie into attending the contest to determine the new Shreveport packmaster. Even though Sookie's mindreading discovers deception on the part of packmaster contestant Patrick Furnan, he kills Alcide's father, Jackson Herveaux, and becomes packmaster, anyway.

On the vampire front, with Sam incapacitated, pirate vampire Charles Twining helps out with the bartending at Merlotte's. Tara is victimized by vampire Franklin Mott, who "gives" her to a vicious vampire named Mickey. Eric helps Sookie with Tara's situation, but in return demands that Sookie tell him what happened while he had amnesia.

Review

There is an obvious shift toward shifters in this installment, including in Sookie's love life, and that doesn't make me happy. I'll readily acknowledge that Ms. Harris's shifter universe is complex and the variety of weres is fun, but it's not what I really want to be reading.

Sookie makes out with Sam for the first time, but it doesn't go further. I do like Sam most of the time, and I've always had the feeling that Sookie might end up with him in the end, considering how close they are. Sookie spends a lot of time considering Calvin Norris as a marital possibility, mostly because he's kind, level-headed and mature and wants her so much, but she eventually decides he's just not for her. And it appears at first as if a relationship with Alcide is finally going to happen. But no.

This is the book where Alcide lost me. He figured out that Sookie killed Debbie, and decided to use that knowledge to force Sookie into a critical and dangerous situation at the packmaster contest. (Okay, I get it, Alcide's father was a contestant, but it was still a low thing for Alcide to do.) Alcide also decided that Debbie literally bewitched him, sort of a retroactive excuse for being involved with the homicidal bitch in the first place. Did Debbie in fact bewitch Alcide? I sort of don't care.

Even Sam was using Sookie, pushing her into asking Eric for help on his behalf, and even insisting that pirate vampire Charles Twining stay at her house when she desperately didn't want him there. Bad Sam, no biscuit.

Along with all the other shifter stuff, Jason becomes a "bitten not born" werepanther, and he likes it. He is still dating Crystal Norris from Hotshot, and she might be pregnant. (Jason is a suspect in the shifter shootings, of course, because Jason is always a suspect in everything.) We're introduced to a cool werewolf named Dawson, who is guarding Calvin Norris. And finally, we meet the very tall, very cool weretiger Quinn, who is master of ceremonies at the packmaster contest.

So we have way too much shifter, and not enough vampire. And for me, the best part of the book was (you guessed it) vampire-related.

Tara has been dating Franklin Mott since Club Dead. She finally discovers the down side of dating vampires when Franklin, who never really adjusted to the new ways, "gives" her to a horrendous vampire named Mickey. Eric still does not remember what happened in Dead to the World, and it's driving him nuts. When Sookie asks Eric for help with the Tara/Franklin/Mickey situation, he is thrilled to oblige so that in exchange, Sookie will have to tell him what happened while he was "out". The best scene in the book is when Sookie tells Eric in excruciating detail exactly what happened between them in book four, and he is completely thrown.

There's a tad more in the fairy department, although it's something of an afterthought. Claudine saves Sookie from the house fire and announces that she is Sookie's fairy godmother. And Claudine's twin brother Claude, a male stripper, utterly gorgeous and completely gay, joins the cast of characters.

Bits

-- Arlene, Holly and Danielle are still waitressing at Merlotte's. There is a new cook named Sweetie Des Arts. (Sweet desserts?)

-- Andy Bellefleur is dating elementary school teacher Halleigh Robinson. And Bill, who catches Sookie kissing Sam, is now dating a woman named Selah Pumphrey.

-- Sookie's insurance agent, Greg Aubert, is a witch.

-- The action takes place starting at the first full moon after the new year, shortly after the end of book four. Sookie is still 26.

-- There's a Charlaine Harris crossover! Private detectives Jack Leeds and Lily Bard from Harris's non-fantasy Lily Bard "Shakespeare" series are hired to investigate Debbie Pelt's disappearance. They stop by Merlotte's and Sookie's house to make her uncomfortable, but Sookie does not break down and confess. Although she does tell Alcide the truth.

Quotes

"Eric had told me that that little road, a dirt track leading back to a deer camp, was where Debbie Pelt had hidden her car when she'd come to kill me. Might as well put up a sign: 'Parking for Sookie Stackhouse Nighttime Attacks'."

"Pam had sent a mixed bouquet, and the card read, 'Don't get shot anymore. From the gang at Fangtasia'."

Television Series Notes

At the time of this writing, season five is in production and since I avoid series spoilers, I have no idea what we're going to get. But since the majority of the cast are vampires and the focus of the fifth book is shifters, I'm guessing that this might be the season Alan Ball decides to leave the books behind.

Of course, we saw the Tara/Franklin Mott plot back in season three. I think they combined Franklin and Mickey to some extent.

In closing...

An enjoyable read, but this one sort of felt all over the place, and of course, since it had a shifter focus and not much Eric, it's not a favorite.

My next book review will be posted in two weeks.

Important notice! After eleven books and four seasons of the series, I have no idea what kind of spoiler limitations to put on the comments section under these circumstances -- so I'm not going to put any. It's a spoiler free for all! If you're new to the books and haven't seen all of the television series True Blood, reading the comments may, and probably will, spoil you. Read on at your own risk!

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Justified: The Gunfighter

"Sorry about your tablecloth."

I've been thinking for awhile that it's going to be pretty much impossible for them to top season two. So you know what? I'm not expecting it. I just want to be intrigued and entertained.

Lost Girl: It's a Fae, Fae, Fae, Fae World

“You're pretty. I saw you eat some dude's face, it was amazing.”

Lost Girl is a Canadian fantasy series that aired way back in 2010 and is now airing in the US for the very first time on Syfy.

It's all about Bo, a succubus who grew up with an adopted human family, unaware of her non-human nature or the Fae world. After she saves a human girl, Kenzi, from being date raped, Bo is confronted by the Fae elders with having to choose a the two main Fae factions, the Light or the Dark. Instead, Bo gives them both the finger and declares herself neutral.

Before I start, I feel that I should point out that I'm currently onto season two, so I'm going to try my best to keep this review completely spoiler free. Lost Girl is my current guilty pleasure, only I'm starting to get over the whole guilty part. First time I watched it, I thought it was just completely ridiculous, a slightly trashy mixture of everything from Buffy to True Blood, with some questionable acting, corney dialogue and special effects that can't help having that cheap, made in Canada look.

But, and this is a big one, I liked Bo and Kenzi (especially Kenzi). Bo might not be Buffy Summers, but Anna Silk still makes for a engaging leading lady. Granted, I'm probably unashamedly biased on this one since I go weak at the knees every time she smiles. And Ksenia Solo just steals the whole show as Kenzi. Oh, Kenzi. You wig wearing, wisecracking, runaway Russian kleptomaniac, you. They are exactly what a show like this needs: fun, likeable characters you care about and want to spend time with, no matter how absurd things get. Now, compare this with show like, say, Alcatraz, where the characters are so lifeless that if they stood still for too long you would easily start mistaking them for furniture. If given a choice between the two, I'll go with the cheesy, low-budget Canadian show about the bisexual succubus and her human BFF every time.

Despite its faults, Lost Girl is a fun show that knows not to take itself too seriously. It isn't out to break new ground or reinvent genre television as we know it. This is a show that is content with what it is. Lost Girl will not be to everyone's tastes, but I thoroughly recommend it.

Sherlock: The Reichenbach Fall

Moriarty: “Every fairytale needs a good old fashioned villain.”

After “The Blind Banker” and “The Curse of the Black Spot”, I was less than optimistic about Steve Thompson's chances of scripting a gripping finale. Yet, as soon as I saw Watson struggling to cope with his grief in that psychiatrist's chair, I knew I was going to love this episode. Not only did Thompson create an intriguing and ultimately compelling season conclusion, he also managed to achieve the impossible... he made me love Moriarty. Which is some achievement considering the frosty reception I gave him last season.

Alcatraz: Pilot/Ernest Cobb

“That’s not what happened.”

The latest offering from J.J. Abram’s production company, Bad Robot, Alcatraz tells the tale of federal agent Emerson Hauser (Sam Neill), SFPD detective Rebecca Madsen (Sarah Jones), and Dr. Diego Soto (Hurley!) as they attempt to piece together what happened nearly 40 years ago, when all the residents and guards at Alcatraz disappeared—and why they’re coming back.

The Fades: Episode 1 (Ashes to Ashes, Funk to Funky)

“Are we about to get assassinated? Because I'm not ready to die. I haven't decided what my last words will be yet.”

It took me a while to really get into The Fades.

I wasn't really impressed with this first episode when I initially watched it and decided not to bother with the next one. There just wasn't anything that excited or interested me. It wasn't until after season one had finished airing, and a lot of people started raving about how good it was, that I decided to give it another go. And I was glad I did because exactly halfway through its first season The Fades suddenly got good. Very good indeed. So good in fact that I wish the BBC would hurry up and announce season two already. All this waiting has me worried it's been quietly axed due to budget cuts.

The Fades is a supernatural series from the BBC, created by Skins writer Jack Thorne and new Doctor Who producer Caroline Skinner. It tells the story of Paul Roberts (Iain de Caestecker), a geeky teenager in a small English town, who is able to see spirits of the dead, known in the series as Fades. Fades are what is left of humans who have died but not been able to ascend to the other side. Normally, they cannot be seen, heard or touched by other humans but somehow they have found a way to regain control of touch and have started killing Angelics, people like Paul who have the ability to perceive the Fades.

Despite eventually winning me over, I still didn't enjoy this episode. I've watched it three times now and my feelings about it haven't changed since the first time I saw it. I don't think it was terrible, just sort of 'meh'. After a tense opening, it just sort of plods along for the rest of the hour, shuffling from scene to scene with no clear sense of direction. As first episodes go, it does do an effective job of introducing all the principle characters and establishing all the basics of the series' mythology. The problem, for me anyway, is that the mythology isn't all that interesting yet and neither are any of the characters.

The show has a talented cast, but by the end of this episode I did not feel any kind of attachment to a single character. Normally, I would be wholeheartedly rooting for a geeky duo like Paul and Mac. Instead, I'm resisting the urge to slap the pair of them. Mac is a one man geek culture reference making machine, a machine that is almost out of control. Honestly, the guy can't seem to shut up. Mac, I want to like you, so please tone it done a bit because your numerous  references often feel forced and overdone. The female characters also need some serious work. Anna has no personality beyond being the bitchy older sister, Jay is the nice but bland love interest, Helen is your basic super-powered, gun wielding, female priest (yeah, like we haven't seen that a hundred time before) and Sarah gets little to do beside have some visions, die and then glow in the dark.

Refreshing as it is to have a supernatural series that doesn't feature vampires or werewolves (or the Winchesters), when you get right down to it, The Fades is nothing we haven't seen a hundred times before. There just isn't a very original idea at its core.There have been hundreds of books, comics and TV series about a teenage kid discovering they have superpowers and becoming humanity's last hope against the forces of darkness. With the school setting and teenage heroes who only communicate in witty geekism, you could argue that The Fades is actually the closest we've ever come to having a British Buffy. And before anyone says anything, Hex does not count. I don't care if Micheal Fassbender was in it, it was crap and should be forgotten about completely. But likely won't be because freakin' Micheal Fassbender was in it.

I know this review comes off as rather negative. But please don't let that put you off. Even if you felt the same way about this episode as I did, stick with the show. Trust me, it does get better.

Notes and Quotes

--What was Sarah thinking going into that dark alley alone? Has she never seen a single horror film in her life?

--Okay, be honest, hands up who didn't squirm at the DIY eye surgery scene? Ha, liars.

--The cast is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon, but for British genre telly. Daniel Kaluuya (Mac), Tom Ellis (Mark) and Claire Rushbrook (Paul and Anna's mum) all appeared in Doctor Who. Ellis also had a recurring role on Merlin. Natalie Dormer (Sarah) is set appear in season two of Game of Thrones. Kaluuya and Sophie Wu (Jay) both appeared in Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror but in different episode. Kaluuya also appeared on Skins as did Lily Loveless (Anna) who also guest starred in The Sarah Jane Adventures, which is a spin-off of, you've guessed it, Doctor Who.

--Daniela Nardini and Lily Loveless are the only actors to appear in both the series and the original pilot episode. All the other roles were recast. Lacey Turner (Eastenders, Being Human) was originally going to play Jay.

--Top marks need to go to director Farren Blackburn because, despite the character and story problems, there's no denying that The Fadesis brilliantly shot. The scenes in the disused shopping centre are suitably creepy and atmospheric. And the apocalyptic visions that Paul and Sarah share look fantastic and have a real sense of foreboding.

--I'm almost certain that Sarah Lund would kill to her hands on Paul's collection of naff jumpers. And I don't doubt that she'd be able to pull them off, too.

--The special effects of the various Fades standing on rooftops looked hopelessly fake. Is it really that difficult to have a bunch of stuntmen stand on roofs?

Paul: “This is a bad idea.”
Mac: “Correction, this is a good idea with bad possibilities.”

Meg: “I don't know what's going on with him.”
Anna: “It's called being a teenage boy. He should be wanking, not pissing.”

Anna: “Fuck off, Paul! How we came out of the same egg is a mystery to me.”
Paul: “Womb. We came out the same womb. Egg and we'd be identical twins. There are certain differences between us, in case you hadn't noticed.”
Anna: “Yeah, you're retarded.”

Paul: “Tolkin had a twisted sexuality?”
Mac: “The eye of Mordor, the guy was clearly petrified of vaginas.”

Neil: “Yeah, that's right, kid, I'm a Ghostbuster.”
Paul: “And none of this... none of this stuff's in my head?”
Neil: “Ghostbuster's honor.”

Paul: “Would you say everything you've ever learned about was from films, Mac?”
Mac: “No. Television's been doing some important work for me. Then there's the complicated yet thorny issue of Internet pornography.”

Mac: “Which makes my best friend Indiana Jones. Which is good, because I always wanted to be Short Round in The Temple of Doom. Or Marion Ravenwood from Raiders.”

Neil: “Death is random. Same as life. Life has famine, illness, shitiness, death is similarly crap.”

Fringe: Back to Where You’ve Never Been

“If you want to get rid of me, just help me.”

This episode began (dream excluded) with Peter asking Walter for help and hearing the story of Walter’s wife’s death and the tragedy that some Peter’s death caused. That tragedy is the moment in which Walter went crazy: not the death of his son (although obviously that was a factor), but the death of his beloved wife. The episode ended (dream-like Observer encounter excluded) with Peter asking Walternate for help and witnessing the death of Fringe Division’s internal security—smaller problems that only take on enormous import for a version of Walter who has not lost his wife.

Justified: Reckoning

"This is who we are, Dickie. This is who we've always been."

What a complicated, emotional, heavy duty episode.

Justified: Full Commitment

"Are we done with play time now?"

This was like a chess game with guns.

Supernatural: Time After Time

"Sometimes you just want to punch through the red tape with a silver bullet."

Supernatural does time travel good. How cool that they found a way to do it without angels. (Although I still want Castiel back.)

Farscape: Home on the Remains

In a desperate move to stave off starvation, Chiana leads Moya to the remains of a gigantic space creature, where she hopes a colony of miners she and her brother briefly lived with (then robbed) will provide food and supplies. Meanwhile, starvation causes Zhaan to begin transforming.

‘Home on the Remains’ had a number of really fascinating world-building tidbits and provided a new glimpse into Chiana’s past, but, strangely, still managed to feel a bit “been there, done that.” I think that lingering feeling stems from the main character dynamics, which were largely things we had seen before and which didn’t really provide new insight. We’ve seen Zhaan in her red-eyed, savage state before, and we’ve seen her lash out at Aeryn for her Peacekeeper past. Likewise, we’ve seen Aeryn challenge herself while trying to find non-military or brute force solutions to help her friends. Moreover, we’ve previously seen that, despite her frequently selfish actions, Chiana will go the extra mile to help a friend in need, prostituting herself to accomplish her goals, if that’s what it takes. And Crichton, D’Argo, and Rygel pretty much just did their usual thing here. I’m definitely down with character consistency, but it is also nice to get new shadings to the characters and their relationships. This episode mostly felt like well-trodden ground, and didn’t give us an interesting or fun story to make up for the general lack of development or progression.

To be fair, I suppose we did get some progression on the potential relationship between D’Argo and Chiana. After that kiss, there is now no question that he’s not interested in being her brother. Of course, nearly everything else that transpired between them in this episode indicates that he’s also not really interested in being her partner. He may have romantic feelings for her, but he doesn’t seem to respect her independent spirit or her choices. “Does he make all of your decisions for you? That’s not the Chiana I knew.” He oozes utter disdain for the way she approaches life, and he certainly doesn’t see her as an equal. Rather, he views her as a child, who needs protecting from the world and from her own worse impulses. “Don’t tell me what to do!” “Well someone has to!” He seems to think of her as some sort of wild mustang that he can tame. Moreover, he doesn’t trust her. None of which is the basis for a relationship. Certainly not a healthy one.

First off, if you don’t have trust in a relationship, you have nothing. Equally important is loving your partner for who she truly is, not who you think she can or should be. Encouraging your prospective partner in ways that allow her to grow as an individual and to find new strengths and abilities (a la Crichton and Aeryn), is totally different than failing to recognize her innate qualities and needs, and attempting to impose your own morality on her.

Chiana: “D’Argo, I do what I do to survive.”
D’Argo: “Can’t you just let it go?”
Chiana: “I can only let go when I feel safe.”
D’Argo: “You are safe.”
Chiana: “Am I?”

I get that D’Argo cares for Chiana, but if he truly wants to be her romantic partner, he needs to stop trying to change and repress her. Right now, their dynamic seems like a recipe for disaster.

On a related note, this episode did give us one really intriguing new insight into Chiana’s moral boundaries. I was quite surprised when she didn’t outright kill B’Sogg, and I’m not quite sure what it means that she didn’t. Either B’Sogg had it right when he said she isn’t capable of cold-blooded murder, and she settled for wounded him to exact some revenge. Or she just opted to give him a slow and agonizing death, instead of a quick, painless one. I’m thinking it was the latter. After mercy killing Temmon earlier in the episode, she noted that “once that stuff touches you, you’re dead anyway” (meaning the acid), and as she slowly walked away from the maimed B’Sogg you could hear him screaming “Don’t leave me here to suffer!” Whoa. We’ve certainly seen her kill to defend herself, but this strikes me as something entirely different. I guess she really is evolving as an individual, scary and dark as that may be.

Other Thoughts

The Keedva was really the highlight of this episode for me. First off, it managed to be creepy and ridiculous, all at the same time. It was like a cross between a yeti, a grizzly bear, and a rancor. It also called to mind the Morlocks from The Time Machine (at least the way I pictured them when reading the book). Second, I got a huge kick out of Crichton’s fight with the thing. He took it down by kicking it in the ‘nads, taunting it with a flashlight, and then rancor-ing it! Freaking hilarious!

I also really dug learning more about Zhaan’s species. When suffering from severe deprivation, Delvians revert to a sort of feral plant state, then become immobilized. So they evolved buds as a defense and survival mechanism. If an animal tries to eat them, the buds poison the animal, allowing the Delvian to consume the dead animal’s meat and thus survive. Fascinating.

The size of the budong was really impressive. “One of the largest creatures there is.” Even the idea of a space creature so large you could turn its corpse into a mining colony (with room to spare) is wicked cool.

I hope Chiana sticks with this new outfit. I like it better than the leopard-spotted thing with the puffy fur on the shoulders.

B’Sogg’s physical appearance reminded me of the family from ‘Home’ in Season 4 of The X-Files. Shudder. And Chiana sticking her hand into the cleft on his head to arouse him was so, so gross. Possibly more gross than the melty hand scene. Maybe. It could be a toss up.

I couldn’t help chuckling at the extremely inconvenient timing of Temmon getting fatally wounded by the Keedva. He’s been doing just fine, all this time since Chianna left, but as soon as she shows up desperately needing his help, he gets killed. Does Moya’s crew have crappy luck or what? Bad timing, indeed.

All the mining and claim-jumping talk made me wistful for Deadwood.

The massive dose of sunlight definitely wasn’t one of Aeryn’s smartest ideas. Ah well. Her heart was in the right place. At least her “transport pod containment” idea was much better. And she did find a way to talk Zhaan down long enough to subdue her. “Cut through the haze, Zhaan. Think. You’re a Delvian tenth level Pa’u. You’ve trained your mind to control your thoughts. Do it now.”

Quotes

Crichton: “You can eat anything, if its fried.”
Except dentics, apparently.

Aeryn (disgusted): “Oh, that’s just great. I get to stay on board with the blooming blue bush, and you get to play with your favorite little trelk.”

Crichton: “You’re gonna use your dead brother to play on his sympathies?”
Chiana (irritated): “I have a plan.”
Crichton: “D’Argo, it’s okay. Chiana has a plan.”

Zhaan: “Need meat.”
Crichton: “No. No, look you don’t want meat. Meat’s bad for you. It’s got cholesterol, hormones.”

Vija: “You’re just a lousy cheater.”
Rygel: “I’ll have you know, I am an excellent cheater. I’m just not at my best right now. This outrageous hunger is affecting me!”

Crichton: “I ain’t your lunch.”
Rygel: “The dentics tasted better.”
Crichton: “You tasted worse.”

B’Sogg: “Chiana. You’re a thief and a trelk, but you’re not a killer.”
Chiana: “I’m evolving as a … as an individual.”

Zhaan (with a mouthful): “Mmm. It’s wonderful.”
Crichton: “Yep. Carolina-style Keedva. Best barbeque this side of a budong.”

Final Analysis: Some cool new world-building bits, but a relatively average episode.

Doctor Who: The Green Death

"So, the fledgling flies the coop."

The BBC’s alleged left-wing bias has never been more evident than in 'The Green Death'. If you're a conservative, hippie hating capitalist, then chances are you're not going to like this one.

Justified: Debts and Accounts

"You are who you are. Nothing I say has never made any difference. No punishment I can dream of will ever change you."

This isn't what I expected from an aftermath episode. We had Mags determined to keep the peace and not kill Raylan. We had Boyd attempting to start a kinder and gentler Crowder criminal organization. We had Art writing Raylan off in a particularly painful way. And, oddly, there was a whole lot of romance. Oh, and a gun battle.

Vampire Diaries: Our Town

“Rest in peace, so that you can move forward.”

Our Theme of the Week is birthdays. Or, more specifically, those moments in which we suddenly realize that we are not-so-suddenly different, and come to terms with our new, older selves. Both Elena and Caroline said goodbye to their previous incarnations, and both of them seem ready to live with the new normal.

Justified: Brother's Keeper

"You pick the devil you run with."

I guess Mags really wanted to raise Loretta. It's hard to tell with Mags, but I think she saw Loretta as the innocent young girl she never got to be. She prettied her up like a toy, decorated her with a family heirloom, and unintentionally made her a sacrificial lamb, because it made Coover hate Loretta enough to kill her.

Star Trek: For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

"Is truth not truth for all?"

In the sixties, you could get away with introducing a fatal illness and a marriage and have it all resolved like it never happened by the end of the episode. Today, it would be introduced a lot more slowly and believably and would extend through several episodes as an arc.

Vampire Diaries: The New Deal

“That’s the thing with younger siblings. You just never know what they’re going to do.”

Should I start with the slap? Or the kiss? Or maybe the sudden departure? Any way you slice it, this winter premiere lived up to the CW’s slogan of “TV to Talk About.” It’s also TV to gasp at, and TV that makes your jaw drop—VD continues to pack more meaty goodness into 42 minutes than a sausage factory on double-time.

Supernatural honored AND snubbed at the PCA

How is it possible for a television show to win two prestigious awards and actually get snubbed during the same award ceremony? You'd think that wouldn't happen. But it just did to Supernatural.

Sometimes I feel like what has happened to Supernatural for the past few years is Buffy the Vampire Slayer deja vu. Buffy is now acknowledged to be a groundbreaking television classic and one of the best shows of all time, but it was virtually ignored by everyone but its legions of passionate fans during its initial seven year run. Supernatural has also been ignored by awards shows and critics, and even by its own network. (The CW rarely promotes Supernatural and has moved it to the Friday night death slot opposite Fringe, thereby ensuring that we genre fans have to watch one and record the other. And of course, that affects ratings, because DVR ratings aren't counted in the same way, because nobody goes out on Friday night. What is this, the 19th century?)

Twice now, Supernatural has gotten some unexpected major league attention, but only because those accolades came directly from the fans. Last year, TV Guide held a contest -- their first -- intended to discover which TV fan base was the most passionate, with the prize being the cover of their magazine. Supernatural was the surprise winner. It was such a shock that some commenters on talk and news shows hadn't even heard of Supernatural. I remember one commenter mentioning that the two stars were really handsome. Yeah, that's why a show is popular. Because everyone else on television is so homely.

http://www.douxreviews.com/2010/12/newsflash-supernatural-on-cover-of-tv.html

Last night, the Peoples Choice Awards crowned Supernatural Favorite Network TV Drama AND Favorite Sci-Fi Fantasy Show. Favorite TV Drama is a big one, isn't it? And yet, it was not presented during the broadcast, and Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, according to some well substantiated rumors, were not invited to attend. (They did record a lovely thank you, though.)

[Update: Jensen Ackles was asked by a fan if he and Jared were invited, and he said yes -- but that they were told the awards weren't going to be presented during the broadcast. That's a good reason not to go. And still a snub.]

So Supernatural just got swept under the rug again. Fans are livid, but unsurprised at the continuing slights to their favorite show. Yes, we know it's because it's a fantasy show. I've been a fan of a number of high quality shows that have been serially ignored at the Emmys and by the critics. Science fiction, fantasy and horror films are nearly always ignored at the Oscars, too. (Except for those technical and special effects awards, which always feel to me like "here's a little pat on the back, now go away").

What's it going to take?

I suppose, after the show ends its run this year or the next, Supernatural will eventually start getting the after-the-fact "yes, it's a classic" recognition that Buffy now enjoys. Until then, though, I suppose we should just stop expecting anything more.

Posts about what happened have been going up all day. This one was my favorite so far: "Supernatural Wins At The People's Choice Awards, But Is There Evidence Of A Genre Conspiracy?" by Laura Prudom:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-prudom/supernatural-peoples-choice-awards_b_1201590.html

Also, check out the People's Choice blog. They asked people what they thought of last night's show -- best moments, and so on. The comments are incendiary. Supernatural fans are PISSED.

http://blog.peopleschoice.com/2012/01/12/2012-pcas-best-moments-best-dressed/

Here's a list of all the winners. Big congrats to Nathan Fillion, Nina Dobrev and Lea Michele, by the way. I understand Nina wasn't even nominated but managed to rock the write-in.

TELEVISION (televised)
Favorite Daytime TV Host: Ellen DeGeneres
Favorite TV Comedy Actress: Lea Michele, Glee
Favorite TV Drama Actress: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Favorite TV Comedy Actor: Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Favorite TV Drama Actor: Nathan Fillion, Castle
Favorite TV Crime Drama: Castle
Favorite Cable TV Drama: Pretty Little Liars
Favorite Celebreality Star: Kim Kardashian
Favorite Late-Night TV Host: Jimmy Fallon
Favorite Cable TV Comedy: Hot in Cleveland
Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Supernatural
Favorite New TV Drama: Person of Interest
Favorite New TV Comedy: 2 Broke Girls
Favorite Network TV Comedy: How I Met Your Mother

TELEVISION (non-televised)
Favorite TV Competition Show: American Idol
Favorite TV Guest Star: Katy Perry, How I Met Your Mother
Favorite Network TV Drama: Supernatural

MOVIES (televised)
Favorite Movie Actress: Emma Stone
Favorite Comedic Movie Actress: Emma Stone
Favorite Comedic Movie Actor: Adam Sandler
Favorite Movie Star Under 25: Chloe Grace Moretz
Favorite Drama Movie: Water for Elephants
Favorite Comedy Movie: Bridesmaids
Favorite Book Adaptation: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Movie Superhero: The Green Lantern
Favorite Movie Icon: Morgan Freeman

MOVIES (non-televised)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Action Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Action Movie Star: Hugh Jackman
Favorite Ensemble Movie Cast: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Animated Movie Voice: Johnny Depp, Rango

MUSIC (televised)
Favorite Pop Artist: Demi Lovato
Favorite Band: Maroon 5
Favorite Album: Lady Gaga’s Born This Way
Favorite R&B Artist: Rihanna

MUSIC (non-televised)
Favorite Male Artist: Bruno Mars
Favorite Female Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Song of the Year: “E.T.,” Katy Perry featuring Kanye West
Favorite Hip-Hop Artist: Eminem
Favorite Country Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Music Video: Katy Perry, “Last Friday Night”
Favorite Tour Headliner: Katy Perry

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Sherlock: The Hounds of Baskerville

Henry: “Mr Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound.”

Mark Gatiss and "The Hound of the Baskervilles" should have made perfect bedfellows. His childhood passion for Holmes, his extensive writing experience, and his love of classic horror, should have produced a script beyond compare. Sadly, he was cursed with the misfortune of following Stephen Moffat. Compared to "A Scandal in Belgravia", "The Hounds of Baskerville" was less complex, less exciting, and ultimately less rewarding. But it was beautifully filmed, contained some great dialogue, and perfectly captured the spirit of the original story. And it most definitely had chills.

Justified: The Spoil

"You see anyone pull a gun, step in front of it."

Does Raylan always get into a fight when he's in a bad mood?

Justified: Save My Love

Winona: "Say something."
Raylan: "Wow."
Winona: "Say something else."

And we thought the cage money plot was over. Or maybe we just hoped that the cage money plot was over.

Justified: Blaze of Glory

"When someone's threatening the woman you care deeply for, there's no end to the lengths that you will go to keep that woman safe."

There is a certain type of man (the best kind) who always shows respect for women, and always protects and provides for the woman he cares for, no matter what. Yes, it works both ways, women protect their men, too. But it all went in pretty much one direction this time.

House of Lies: Gods of Dangerous Financial Instruments

Showtime’s latest half-hour comedy, House of Lies tells the story of the number-two management consulting firm in the United States: a band of plucky heroes who cheat the big guys out of money and have fun doing it. Starring Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) and Don Cheadle (almost everything else), with Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio of Parks and Rec) in a supporting role, House of Lies has a strong pedigree and lots of potential. It almost lives up to it.

The show is fast-paced and brash. I watched a screener online and all the “bad” words were bleeped, all the nudity fuzzed out. Nothing like fuzziness and bleeping to make a girl realize just how raunchy Showtime likes to be. The language is appropriate, though: like David Mamet after he’s been slowed down by too many drinks and not enough protein. (Carbs and teetotaling are for liberals.)

The quick, naughty wit and obvious intelligence of the characters and the actors who play them are this show’s biggest draws. Don Cheadle’s character, Marty Kaan, is the focus of the pilot, and we get a fair amount of his relationship with his plucky son, sociopathic ex-wife, steadfast father, and even some pop-psychologizing by the business psychologist played by Bell. That character, Jeannie van der Hooven (seriously), is less finely drawn: obviously comfortable playing by the rules of the good ol’ boys’ club, Jeannie doesn’t seem to inquire into her own motivation for hanging out with the types of guys who assume a strip club will be fun for everyone.

The plot is…interesting? Well, not really. The team wants to get an account with a massive financial company of the sort that are responsible for the sub-prime mortgage crisis. The consultants talk about revenge against the big finance companies as a motivation: ripping off the companies that can afford to be ripped off with over-priced and useless consultations.

In fact, the characters reiterate that point repeatedly. “These guys are evil!” they say, as they charge $1000 sushi dinners to their expense account. The team taps into the despair caused by the mortgage insurance shell-game, irresponsible lending, and bloated management salaries in order to make a hefty profit and fund their own high-priced lifestyles. House of Lies skirts the ramifications of those Robin Hood claims, though. One character (a bad guy) points out that the people who borrowed inappropriately to buy McMansions and Escalades on installment plan are responsible for their own tragedy; the lenders just lent. How are the lenders, then, really different from our heroes, the consultants who sell equally worthless product to people who think they want it and need it? Ultimately, it’s all about high-stakes players trying to get money at someone else’s expense.

House of Lies wants to have its cake and eat it, too. Watching smart, brilliant people con others is undeniably fun for those of us who enjoy a bit of sadism on our screens. But HoL doesn’t want us to associate the plucky heroes with the “bad guys” or the “one percent,” even if that’s who they really are. Asking us to root for the bad guys is one thing—we’ve all done it, and its part of the allure of fiction that we can take pleasure in someone else’s evil. (I’m lookin’ at you, Ben Linus, Season One Damon Salvatore, and Angelus. And you, Milton’s Satan. You rascals!) But HoL asks us to pretend that the bad guys are really good, hoping we won’t notice that the consultants mouth Occupy platitudes while telling the financial firms how to scam the little guy one more time. That’s a moral house of cards that might not stand up for more than a few episodes.

Conclusions? It’s extremely watchable, mostly for Bell’s and Cheadle’s quick wits. Maybe, like Chuck and Homeland, this will just be one of those shows where I have to put the political criticism on pause in order to really enjoy it. Or, maybe, House of Lies will start to luxuriate in its own brash, lying, down-and-dirty potential.

Three of out four stripper-wives.