Ringer: P.S. You're an Idiot

"Will you marry me... again?"

Sorry if these reviews are becoming as predictable as turkey on Thanksgiving, but Ringer rapidly cycles through the same exact problems every damn week. This was another episode in which nothing of huge consequence actually occurred, but ended on a couple of cliffhangers that managed to give the illusion of the complete opposite. Now that I think about it, that's totally this show's routine! The writers flail around the multiple story arcs and tease them out until they're directionless disaster areas, but ensure that each episode is capped by some fake-out plot twist that encourages the audience to tune in the following week, even when we all collectively realize that nothing will actually come of the 'to be continued' shockers. Ringer is all about manipulation, folks, and based on the abysmal numbers it's been getting recently, it seems most people have figured that out.

April and May: Save the Date(s)

Leap Day William has brought his goodies, and we have lots of fun shows (and some not-so-fun) to look forward to this spring. Click on for a list of premieres, returns, and finales for the next two months.

May 6: Sherlock returns to America thanks to PBS. And, of course, viewers like you.

May 7: Castle finale.

May 10: Finales of The Secret Circle, The Vampire Dairies, and Parks and Rec.

May 11: Fringe finale.

May 13: Once Upon a Time finale.

May 14: Hawaii Five-0 finale.

May 17: 30 Rock, Person of Interest, and Community finales. (Community's finale has been moved from May 24th. May 17th is during "May Sweeps," but May 24th is not.)

May 18: Grimm, Nikita and Supernatural finales.

May 22: Glee finale.

May 24: Awake finale, moved from the 17th (see above). This is a good sign that Awake will be canceled, as May 24th is not during May Sweeps, which means NBC doesn't care about setting an ad rate for the show (which is the purpose of sweeps). Alas.


Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments and I’ll add them. And if you, like me, use these occasional posts to keep track of your TV to-do list, check the right sidebar for the permanent easy access.

The Walking Dead: 18 Miles Out

Shane: “Rick, you can’t expect to be the good guy and live, not anymore.”
Rick: “I’m not the good guy anymore.”

This episode was for all those people who thought there weren’t enough zombies. The opening of this episode was terrifying. I almost thought it had to be a dream sequence, because it sure looked like two of our lead characters were going to bite it (pun intended).

The Secret Circle: Pilot

“Destiny’s not easy to run from.”

After the surprising transformation of The Vampire Diaries into an epic fantasy that rivals even the greatest shows in its genre, my expectations for Kevin Williamson’s new baby series were high. All of the lessons had been learned, so we could skip all the boring stuff and get straight down to business. Unlike The Vampire Diaries’ pilot, which left a lot to be desired, this felt like it belonged in a different league. It introduced us to a diverse group of characters, opened up an intriguing world of magic and mystery and left me with an impressive amount of excitement for the story’s continuation. Some people found it difficult to get into this series, especially at first, but I was drawn in almost instantly, despite its predictability.

Winter is Coming!

Just 34 days until Season Two of HBO's Game of Thrones. Just 34 days to sharpen your swords, hide your babies and your beadwork, and train your direwolf to roll over. Luckily, we have a little something to tide you over: the new, almost two-minute-long trailer for the bloodiest show on television. (Not counting Spartacus or when vampires explode on True Blood.)




Are you excited yet?

Fringe: The End of All Things

“Maybe you could tell me a story.”

Once upon a time, I was friends with a good storyteller. A good storyteller, but a bad storyender. Whether it was the time he and a gang of bikers rescued an abused young woman, or the one about the guy, the banana, and the French bulldog, each of his stories ended the same way: “So that happened.”

Glee: On My Way

“I’m not going to lie to you, it isn’t gonna be easy, and there’ll be some days when life just sucks. But you’re gonna get through this, cause I’m gonna help you, and so’s everyone else who loves you and accepts you for who you are. And if they can’t accept that then screw ‘em. Right?”

The Fades: Episode 6 (Earth Was Really Dying)

“And what's the point of seeing the future if you can't change it?”

So the battle's done and Paul kinda won, but he'll sound no victory cheer.

Once Upon a Time: What Happened to Frederick

“We can pick up the pieces. We can start over from a real place.”

While a lot of episodes have seen Once Upon a Time dragging its feet a little bit, probably due to the decision to span out the story into something much grander and decadent than your average fairytale, episodes that focus specifically on the central characters always hold a lot of power, mostly because the effects of such episodes can be felt several weeks down the line. Josie discussed in her 'Skin Deep' review the show’s issue of major development of characters not being felt in the following installments, but now that the series has gotten past the “finding its feet” stage, there’s a lot more room for people to change and grow as their lives begin to adjust and the curse begins to unravel.

Justified: When the Guns Come Out

"You know you're in trouble when the drums stop."

There are now three conflicting sides full of bad guys fighting for control of the Harlan county oxy biz, and as per the episode title, the guns have come out and people are getting killed.

Being Human: The Graveyard Shift

Tom: “I don’t think we need this any more. I’ve got your back, mate.”

Despite offering up a few morsels of main arc development, tonight’s story took a break from the ongoing War Child saga, and focused on the private lives of our supernatural trio. Being Human's always been about the small things, so it's no surprise Jamie Mathieson managed to find some great character moments in the minutiae. Finally, Honolulu Heights is starting to feel like home again. The gang even have a new TV show to obsess over. It may not be The Real Hustle, but it's a start.

Fringe: A Better Human Being

“I remember everything.”

There are two ways to approach this episode: as a vital part of the overarching mythology of Fringe and a turning point in the more controversial aspects of this season’s story that happens to have a freak-of-the-week, or as a freak-of-the-week that happens to contain a few short minutes of vitally important material. How satisfying you found this episode likely depends on your perspective.

Ringer: Whores Don't Make That Much

"If it's forgiveness you were looking for, you came to the wrong place."

Before Ringer turned into a convoluted mess dangling perilously close to the edge of Mount Cancellation, there was actually a relatively simple idea at its heart. Way back in the pilot, Bridget took over her sister's identity in a shocking moment of ill-conceived craziness, a rash decision that quickly devolved into assassination attempts, marital intrigue and contrived mystery-solving that would make even Jessica Fletcher wince in embarrassment. But at the crux of the show was that initial decision, a chance of potential escape from Bridget's eternally rock-bottom existence that she instantly leapt at. "Whores Don't Make That Much", the strongest episode in a long while, finally threw that decision into perspective, granting Sarah Michelle Gellar the emotionally-draining material that she's been crying out for.

The Secret Circle: Return

“There are a lot of stories out there, but the truth is bigger. I think you know that.”

After almost half a season of build up and countless vaguely threatening references, it figures that John Blackwell's arrival in Chance Harbour would be kind of an anti-climax. Though its events were some bit disappointing, the direction and tone of ‘Return’ seems to have finally solidified the series into something wholly appealing and definitive in its own right.

The Walking Dead: Triggerfinger

Andrea: "Those were all the right calls. It's your presentation that leaves something to be desired."

Is Shane right? I can't say that Shane is one of my favourite characters. He’s way too macho for me. Violence and categorical decision-making isn't always the right choice, even for survival. Humans have evolved to the point they have because people formed groups and relationships of mutuality. Every man for himself doesn’t bode well for the survival of our little group or the human race. I think that Rick is intelligent and mature enough to understand this. It’s not that he won’t use violence when necessary, it’s just that he knows at some level that just survival is not enough and safety comes from the group, not just his own strength and abilities.

Once Upon a Time: 7:15 A.M.

[Let's give a warm welcome to Panda, who will be reviewing Once Upon a Time and The Secret Circle for us. Welcome to the site, Panda!]

“I wish feelings could be helped, but they can’t.”

In an effort to give Mary Margaret and David’s forbidden romance a chance to develop, there’s been a lot of delaying tactics at work in the Once Upon a Time universe, but after weeks of never ending tension and upset, everything finally fell into place in one of the most rewarding episodes to date.

Breaking Bad: Breakage

"I don't think either of us is eager to jump into bed with another Tuco."

Yes, they don't want another Tuco. And yet, Walt wants Jesse to become their very own Tuco. WWTD. What Would Tuco Do?

Supernatural: Repo Man

"This is what you do? Find postal workers, make them go postal?"

Vampire Diaries: All My Children

“Pot, kettle, brother.”

What a weird episode. Awkward plotting and non-surprises mixed in with beautiful character moments that are simultaneously tragic, hopeful, and perfect for each person making his or her own very idiosyncratic mistakes. Yet while the first 10 minutes and last 10 minutes were perfect, the middle part just wasn’t quite right, was it?

All Together Dead by Charlaine Harris

[This review contains big honking spoilers.]

"I'd never seen anything like it. First a trial, then a few murders, then dancing. Life goes on. Or, in this case, death continues."

The Fades: Episode 5 ( Scary Monsters And Super Creeps)

“You're a library monitor? My boyfriend's dead and you're a library monitor?”

Now, why couldn't The Fades have been this good from the start?

Justified: Thick As Mud

"These are the end times for Dewey Crowe. The only choice I have left is how I punch out."

Poor Dewey. What a schmuck. He wasn't even planning to escape from prison in the first place. And there he was, living out the kidneyless in the bathtub urban legend, up close and personal.

Star Trek: The Tholian Web

"I must say I prefer a crowded universe much better."

This episode, like many in season three, featured a combination of recycled plot elements: response to a distress call, an encounter with a technologically superior alien race in a bad mood, and the crew suffering from extremely ill effects of something they'd never encountered before. (Unfortunately, those effects didn't include singing in Engineering, or taking showers with their clothes on.) To make the bad even worse, Kirk apparently disintegrated after selflessly ordering everyone else back to the ship first. Bummer.

Merlin: Valiant

“Don't you understand? I can't withdraw. The people expect their prince to fight. How can I lead men into battle if they think I'm a coward?”

Howard Overman is probably the closest thing Merlin has to a Steven Moffat. When he's not pushing the limits of good taste on Misfits, he is regularly responsible for some of this series' finest episodes. 'Valiant' is not one of them.

Glee: Heart

Ugh, I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s disgusting, the commercialisation of love. Overpriced flowers and chocolates with too much packaging. Can you tell I’m single? I do like those Love Hearts sweets though, especially the ‘Email Me’ ones. Mmm. Well, I suppose it’s pretty impossible to expect Glee to ignore a day that’s all about what 90% of recent songs are about. I don’t have to enjoy it though!

Ringer: It's Easy to Cry, When This Much Cash Is Involved

"Somebody's trying to kill me."

Ringer is a series that works well in bits and pieces, but struggles to be much at all when put together as a whole episode. This was very much an episode of varying subplots being thrown at us all at once -- some that haven't been seen for weeks, some that are painful in their predictability, and others that essentially feel like a bombardment of uninteresting information. The latter is obviously occurring with Bridget who, for the second week in a row, gets driven around Manhattan picking up clues in ridiculous places. It's another waste of the character, somebody stuck in stumble-mode where she conveniently walks right into the path of another clue, all the while completely ignorant to the fact that her sister is so obviously alive. It's ludicrous that she hasn't even theorized that Siobhan's suicide was faked.

Being Human: Being Human 1955

Pearl: “Over fifty five years and I’ve never had to change my line-up.”

If last week’s episode felt like a season finale, then "Being Human 1955" felt like a season première. It introduced us to Leo, Pearl and Hal; established a strong group dynamic; explained interpersonal dependencies -- then sent two of them packing to the afterlife. Despite Leo and Pearl being relative newcomers, their deaths were surprisingly affecting; as was Hal’s almost defection to the dark side. I guess his self control isn’t as strong as we thought. With Leo and Pearl gone, will Hal be able to put the mask back on? Or does Honolulu Heights have a new loose cannon on its hands?

Chronicle

There is something inherently engaging about the "found footage" (Cloverfield, Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, etc.) style of filmmaking. Occasionally used as a con to get viewers to believe it is real footage, it is really just a clever way to hide a lower budget. There have been some successes using this style, and some abysmal failures. Every once in a while, "found footage" doesn't feel forced or cliched, and fits perfectly with the story being told. Like it does with Chronicle.

The Walking Dead: Nebraska

Dave: "There ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world."

It appears that nobody escapes the dehumanizing effects of a post-apocalyptic zombie infested world. The death of Sophia has left everyone in shock. The reality of the new world is sinking in, and as Dave points out, "the ugly truth is there is no way out of this mess." But that doesn't mean our group is giving up (wouldn't make for much of a series). As Rick points out, death has always been there, it is just in a new form now.

Once Upon a Time: Skin Deep

“I would never suggest a young woman kiss a man that kept her captive. What kind of message is that?”

I’ve praised the great Jane Espenson before, and I won’t do so at such length again here. But I will point out that Espenson has the remarkable ability to turn dross into gold while still maintaining a show’s identity. She did precisely that in this latest Once entry, bringing sweetness to a rather annoying character and, finally, finally, finally, creating some progress in the show’s overarching narrative.

Valentine's Day Matchmaker

Xander: "We read about it all the time. People meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show ... horrible axe murder."

Love makes you do the wacky. And our love for the characters on our favorite shows can make us a little wacky (but in a good way). We can’t get them boxes of chocolate, foot rubs, or tasty dinners. But we can make sure they don’t live lives of unending lonely miserable misery. So we have another challenge for you, beloved readers:

The Challenge: Determine which characters from different shows would pair well together romantically or platonically. List your pair in the comments, and if you want to have a little crazy fun, plan out their first blind date. Demon hunting? Po’ boys and Abita beer at Merlotte’s? Damiano’s pizza?

If you’re really bored and alone (no judgment!), feel free to contribute to this thread on Most Datable Characters, and check out Billie’s list of Buffy quotes on The Perils of Dating.

And, above all, please have a happy Valentine’s Day!

Farscape: Out of Their Minds

When Moya is attacked, seemingly without provocation, Zhaan attempts to talk down the aggressors, while the rest of the crew deals with a strange and unsettling side effect of the attack: everyone has switched bodies.

Breaking Bad: Down

"I dreamt I owned an antique bicycle repair shop in Ireland."

Family trouble for both Jesse and Walt. They are completely dissimilar people, but they were again in the same situation.

Fringe: Welcome to Westfield

“You folks lost?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”

This is an episode that could have gone either way: horribly disappointing or deeply satisfying. Standalones and trapped-in-a-town narratives can provide a welcome relief from an overarching mythology, or a frustrating sense that the writers are dragging their feet. Somehow, “Welcome to Westfield” didn’t have either of those results at all: the standalone elements were so evocative of so many other episodes, and the final surprise was so darn exciting that the relief I felt wasn’t at the break from the mythos, but at the sense that we are finally, finally getting somewhere.

Supernatural: Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie

"Seriously. Dractapuss. Sea Biscuit the Impaler. Land shark. What's next?"

Classic Supernatural black comedy episode. And it was even relevant to the Winchesters because it addressed Sam's fear of clowns. Which actually had to do with his fear of abandonment, and specifically, abandonment by big brother Dean. I think. Although they never really explained why Sam was afraid of clowns. I doubt that he just associated them with bad pizza.

Vampire Diaries: Dangerous Liaisons

“It’s some twisted Cinderella fetish.”

I have ball envy. Ball envy, not unrelated to Freudian penis envy, is a condition that affects women of a certain age who skipped their high school proms. Us ball-enviers (we call ourselves “ballers” at the monthly meetings) are fans of anything with a tight bodice, poofy skirt, and dazzling men in tuxedos. Up-dos are optional, but heels are mandatory for all but the Jane-Austenite splinter groups, who advocate a lifestyle of empire waists, saucy ringlets, and Darcymania. (Freaks. And dangerous, too, especially around tea-time.)

Justified: The Devil You Know

"Is that a note of veiled menace I detect in your voice, Devil?"

Another episode that was wall to wall bad guys. Jockeying for position, making alliances, doing stupid stuff. I think I'd have liked it better if more of it had been about Boyd. And where was Ava?

Glee: The Spanish Teacher

This week on Glee, students complain about Will and Sue’s teaching skills, Emma prints lots of pamphlets, and Ricky Martin is discovered to be teaching night classes at McKinley.

The River: Magus/Marbeley (Pilot)

“Give me the bear!”

ABC’s latest attempt to replace Lost premiered with a two-episode starter kit on Tuesday. The River tells the story of a group of plucky heroes searching for one Emmet Cole, missing TV naturalist. The search is funded by a television network, so it is being filmed. The clues leading to Cole’s body (alive, dead, or otherwise engaged) consist of found footage. In other words, take your Dramamine: shaky cam ahead.

Ringer: What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?

"You can wear lipstick, but you're still a husband-stealing pig!"

It's become routine in recent years for writers to present networks with a multi-season plan when it comes to serialized dramas. In light of high-profile failures like Heroes, it makes sense for networks to request some kind of long-term agenda, preventing a series from sputtering along with writers making things up as they go. Ringer is an example of a series that clearly has one of those long-term plans (it's something the EPs have mentioned a lot in interviews), but is struggling to execute it very well. This episode was of course better than last week's flat series return, but the overriding problems lie in the little things -- it's all good providing shock twists and interesting plot developments, but the journey getting there needs to be interesting, too.

Classic TV or Passing Fad?

Life is full of classics--those things that never go out of style and always delight: Levis. Coffee and donuts. Thank-you notes. Cats. Agatha Christie.

But there are also passing fads. Boxy shoulder pads, anyone? Molecular gastronomy? Tiny dogs? Yeah.

So we have a challenge for you, billiedoux readers...

The Challenge: Imagine you're introducing a sweet, friendly alien to the delightful medium of genre television, broadly defined. Which shows must she watch first? Which are classics? Which are classics in the making? Which shows (or episodes) will we still be talking about in 10 years? Which shows aren't always great, but have some spectacular episodes that make it all worth it?

Here's the catch--you can only pick 5.

Being Human: Eve of the War

Woman: "I'm going to save the world. I'm going to kill that baby."

I’m not sure how I feel about tonight’s episode. On first watch, I hated it. Second time through, I actually quite liked it. Following last year's finale was always going to be a challenge. Season three was to Being Human what "Children of Earth" was to Torchwood. Mitchell's death was always going to leave a void, but to give Toby Whithouse his due, he threw virtually everything at this episode to fill it. He gave us a vampire apocalypse, supernaturals galore, glimpses of a dystopian future, and a mysterious war child prophecy written on nipply parchment. On the downside, he gave Arthur Weasley a job, killed off half the cast, and replaced them with suspiciously familiar surrogates.

Fringe: Making Angels

“Everything happens right now.”

Fringe’s best episodes always make me think of those paper chains we used to make in grade school, or to decorate a Christmas tree. Each slip of paper makes a closed circle that links to other loops, and the result is a chain that can make on larger circle. Interlocking, in other words, while still distinct.

The Fades: Episode 4 (Like a Leper Messiah)

“Do you understand what I just learned? I’m immortal. This is better than I thought.”

Congratulations to everyone who has stuck with The Fades this far. Your perseverance has finally paid off and you are being rewarded with three stellar episodes, starting with this one. Unlike those that came before it, this episode had focus and drive. All the tedious teen drama from the first three episodes has finally been put aside as The Fades finally becomes the show I hoped it would be.

Doctor Who: The Time Warrior

"A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting."

'The Time Warrior' was the first story of Season 11, Jon Pertwee’s last as the Doctor. It introduced a trippy new 2001-ish title sequence; enduring potato headed bad guys, the Sontarans, made their first appearance; and the Doctor’s home planet was finally given a name: Gallifrey. But all of that is irrelevant, because this is the story that first introduced us to the fantastic Miss Sarah Jane Smith, played by the wonderful, irreplaceable Elisabeth Sladen.

Vampire Diaries: Bringing Out the Dead

“This is family business.”

After a clunker last week, Vampire Diaries returned full force with “Bringing Out the Dead,” an episode that caused two gasps, one OMG, and a deep-throated “Nooooo!” before I came to my senses. And how cool is it that I am reviewing a show in which vampires solve murder mysteries?! This really has been the luckiest week ever.*

Once Upon a Time: True North

I have to be honest: this is the first episode I didn’t like. I could see the big twists from miles away, but, most importantly, I didn’t care about them. Seeing the glass half full, it’s good that the 9th episode of the show was the first bad one; and it had its good moments, too.

Supernatural: The Slice Girls

Dean: "I'm telling you, I have been eating at the buffet of strange all afternoon."

What a melancholy little episode. It had something to say. Unfortunately, it's stuff they've been saying for awhile.

Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris

[Although I don't reveal whodunit, this review contains spoilers.]

"The average woman would not be pondering how fast her date could kill her, but I'll never be an average woman."

Glee: Michael

Glee-hee’s tribute to the late, great Michael Jackson. This was so heavily promoted, that I felt for sure that it would be a corker this week.