Once Upon a Time: The Stranger


“I’m a real boy!”

Once Upon a Time has been toying with the idea of getting Emma to make that leap of faith that would put everything in place to kick start the fight to free all those trapped in Storybrooke for a while now. The Stranger was the first episode to confront Emma directly with that aversion she’s been showing towards her role as the town’s saviour. A lot of her inability to concede to such an outlandish truth seemed to rest on her narrow-minded “man of science” mantra, but here the idea of it being part of reluctance to accept her part in a destiny that puts the fate of so many people on her shoulders is the main focus.

Game of Thrones: The Ghost of Harrenhal

“Anybody can be killed.”

The Great Man theory of history argues that moments of great historical consequence are the result of individual agents of great power who shape their times—and our fates—to their will. Napoleon. Alexander the Great. Hitler. Charlemagne. Game of Thrones disagrees: the history of Westeros is shaped not by great men, but by petty tyrants who shouldn’t have power, and by the people who might not even make it into the histories that might be written later. Events of political consequence are orchestrated by bureaucrats, advisors, and coincidence.

Movie News, April 2012

Movies have a long and twisted legacy of poor choices, strange marketing, and occasionally wonderful results. For example, the absolutely horrible job done by Disney to promote John Carter. None of the advertisements explained what the property was, but made it out to be a wall-to-wall action film, which it wasn't. It created an expectation that couldn't possibly be fulfilled, so it tanked. Why am I bringing this up? Well I'm about to talk about current movie news, since it is all strange marketing, poor choices, and occasionally wonderful results. This is an experimental article that will try to follow in the footsteps of Doux News. I hope I'm adequate to the task.

The only new movie worth talking about this week was The Raven, and it's apparently horrible (it currently has only a 20% on Rotten Tomatoes). I haven't seen it, and after reading some of those scathing reviews, I don't think I ever will.

Scarlett Johansson will not be appearing in next year's Iron Man 3 because of scheduling conflicts. This is probably due to her being cast as Janet Leigh in the upcoming Hitchcock movie (a biopic of him, not a movie by him since he died 22 years ago). This might mean they won't make the same mistake as they made on Iron Man 2, as in using it as a spring board for another Avengers film instead of
focusing on a story specific to Tony Stark/Iron Man.

In sorta related news, The Avengers has already raked in 178.4 million dollars. Wait, that doesn't make sense -- it hasn't even opened yet! Oh, that's how much it's made overseas since it opened in some countries on WEDNESDAY!!!!

A FOX Studio exec has stated that they will not mess with Prometheus (i.e. editing for content to reduce it to a more accessible PG-13) even if it comes down with an "R" rating. Which is a relief because cutting Ridley Scott's movies never turn out well (See Blade Runner, Kingdom of Heaven, etc). (Along with the recent Fringe announcement, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe someone sane came to power over there. Then again, maybe not.) A couple of weeks ago, two brilliant viral videos (David 8 and Ted 2023) were released, as well as an intriguing website launched for the movie. As a marketing campaign, these are great teasers reminiscent of The Dark Knight's viral marketing campaign.

Ralph Fiennes (Harry Potter, Wrath/Clash of the Titans) will be in the new Bond movie Skyfall coming out later this year. The studio has also announced that from now on, new Bond movies will start coming out at regular intervals, with the next one premiering in 2014. After all the issues with MGM going bankrupt and Daniel Craig having conflicts with continuing in the role, I'm tentatively glad to see that we'll get more.

Peter Jackson has responded to criticism over his choice to film the new Hobbit movie at 48 fps (Frames Per Second) instead of the industry standard of 24 fps. This might seem like a non-issue, but using higher frames per second completely changes the way film looks, giving it a more realistic feel. His defense is that using this format will become standard in coming years and is part of the natural evolution of movie-making. While I agree that technology is moving forward and we should accept that, I hope that he considers that using this format might not be a good idea for a fantasy film.

Kick Ass 2 (and 3) might actually happen. Filming is supposed to begin this summer. I personally loved the first one, but this announcement was completely unexpected.

In the category of painful, inexplicable and pointless news, it was announced that there will be a sequel to Twins. It will be called Triplets and adds Eddie Murphy to the cast along with returning stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as their long lost third sibling. This is one of those announcements that has me scratching my head going, why? Why? And this isn't the only head scratcher. A few days ago, a trailer for a movie called This is 40? came out. This is actually a sequel/spin-off to the movie Knocked Up. Again I ask, WHY???

Final note - I understand that fans can be passionate, but there is such as thing as too passionate. Amy Nicholson was one of the first critics to post a review for The Avengers coming out next week. She was also the only one that posted a negative review, which in itself was contentious because she rated it with a 3 out of 5. This lone voice of descent has caused people to lash out at her with some unfairly harsh comments -- calling her names, belittling her skills as a writer, and generally being insufferable brats about someone having a different opinion. To be fair, she was pretty snarky in her review. But that's just it -- it was her review. It was her opinion. Isn't that the whole idea of being a critic? Critics have to be able to share their opinion, even if it isn't popular. Disagreeing with that opinion is fine, sharing that feeling with the writer is great. But raging at someone who is just doing their job is reprehensible, and makes our job impossible.

Thus ends the experiment! Please tell me what you think about any of these news items, or about the movie news article in general.

Doux News: April 29, 2012


This week: Fringe renewed -- True Blood author gets another series -- Felicia Day and Benedict Cumberbatch are everywhere -- Dexter casting news and a possible ninth season -- Community and Awake finales -- Comment and Tweet of the Week

Fringe renewed

The big news this week is the unexpected but welcome renewal of Fringe, which will be getting a final season of thirteen episodes -- enough so that fans will have closure and Fringe's corporate overlords will have a hundred episodes to syndicate. Everybody happy!

TVLine's Renewal Scorecard has a list of predictions and crosses out their earlier predictions. Fringe has an entire line of crossouts because their prediction changed five times. Too funny. At least it's funny now that we've gotten good news.

True Blood author Harris gets another series

Charlaine Harris is the author of four series of novels, two of which are traditional mysteries (Lily Bard, Aurora Teagarden) and two of which have supernatural elements (Sookie Stackhouse, Harper Connelly). I've read everything Harris has written and enjoyed them all, but guess which two are my favorites? With True Blood, based on the Sookie Stackhouse series, about to start its fifth season in June on HBO, Syfy has just announced that they've bought the rights to the Harper Connelly series.

The Harper Connelly series doesn't have vampires or werewolves; it's more of a traditional mystery series, but with a supernatural twist. Harper Connelly was struck by lightning when she was a teenager, and now she can "feel" the dead; she literally knows where the bodies are buried and can tell how a person died. She and her stepbrother Tolliver travel around the country selling Harper's services for a fee, and of course, because her work centers around mysterious deaths, stuff happens. There's a darkness about the Harper Connelly series that appeals to me. Now that I'm nearly finished reviewing the Sookie Stackhouse novels (book twelve comes out next week), I've been considering reviewing the Harper Connelly novels, too. Maybe. This summer is going to be pretty jam-packed, review-wise.

Felicia Day and Benedict Cumberbatch. (No, they're not doing anything together)

Felicia Day is everywhere. Buffy, Dr. Horrible, Dollhouse, Eureka, and she just wowed us on this week's Supernatural in "The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo" (which is almost the best episode title ever). Is she on her way to being the female answer to geek guest star extraordinaire, Mark Sheppard? According to this delightful article on TV Line, Day couldn't turn down Supernatural because she loves it and she's a fan of our type of show. I hereby extend her an open invitation to write anything she wants for us at any time. Although I suspect she's a bit too busy to accept.

Benedict Cumberbatch is everywhere, too: Sherlock (which FINALLY arrives in the U.S. next Sunday), the next Star Trek movie, and the Hobbit, too. In his honor, here is a fun interview in the New York Times, and the classic internet wonderfulness that is "Otters who look like Benedict Cumberbatch".

Dexter casting news and a possible ninth season

Ray Stevenson from Rome just landed a recurring role in Dexter season seven. "Recurring role" usually means "bad guy", but hey, there have been recurring good guys on Dexter, too.

The Dexter powers that be have hinted that there might be a ninth season, but Jennifer Carpenter has indicated that she might be done after eight. It also sounds like Michael C. Hall is ready for another project, too. Gay funeral director... vigilante serial killer... with a range like that, what could possibly be next?

Personally, I think eight is enough. A lot of fans thought season six was weak, and I agree -- it was. Just think what they could do if they knew exactly when the end of the series was coming, so that they could go out with a bang. Personally, I've always wanted to see what would happen if Dexter got caught, which isn't something they could do unless there was an end in sight.

Community and Awake finales

Josie says:
The finales of Community and Awake have been swapped from their original schedule. Community is now slated for a one-hour finale on May 17th, which is during May Sweeps. Awake now has a spot on May 24th, which is not May Sweeps (even though it is in May). Incisive conclusion? Awake will be canceled, so NBC doesn't care about setting the ad rates for the show, and that's why they moved it. Alas.

Comment and Tweet of the Week

Comment of the Week definitely goes to Greg Quinnell's on Mark Greig's review of the Community episode "Virtual Systems Analysis". It does have to be read in context, and requires knowledge of the show. Aren't those the best kind of comments?

My favorite tweets are almost invariably by Nathan Fillion or writer Tim Carvell. This week, it's one of Tim's:
Subway ad for waterproof mascara promises "No 'Panda-Eyes'!" I dunno. When you call them "panda-eyes", it kind of makes them sound awesome.
Since we have a Panda and he's awesome, I have to agree with that.

That's it for this week. Opinions, raves, rants, questions?

Community: Basic Lupine Urology

"Greendale Community College is represented by two separate but equally important types of people: the goofballs that run around stirring up trouble, and the eggheads that make a big deal out of it. These are their stories."

Chung, Chung!

This is the second time this season that Community has done an extended parody of a specific television series. But unlike their merciless attack on all things Glee, this was a respectful and affectionate tribute to Dick Wolf's long running procedural, Law & Order. And, as is often the case when the show does an episode like this, it was bloody fantastic.

Chung, Chung!

I've never been a Law & Order fan. Much like Shirley, it's always been one of those shows I only watch if I'm bored and there is nothing else on and I'm too lazy to reach for the remote and change the channel. But I've seen enough of it to get all the references, in-jokes and surprise cameos (well hello there, Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers). As I've said before, the writers' attention to detail when it comes to parody is impeccable. Like most Community episodes, this is one you have to watch multiple times to catch everything. The entire episode had the look and feel of an episode of L&O, from the hand held camera work, to Jeff and Annie having Chinese takeaway in the study room while going over the case. The recreation of the L&O titles, complete with cheesy walk towards the camera while obviously fake laughing at the end, was my favourite part, along with the campus suddenly resembling a New York street. 

Chung, Chung!

Thanks to Law & Order's unique structure (investigation followed by prosecution), the episode was able to make great use of the show's entire cast (with a couple of exceptions) and parody courtroom dramas along with cop shows. In typical L&O style, everything kicked off with a cold open where two random characters stumble on a body. The study group's A+ worthy yam, Pam, had been brutal murdered. Annie demands justice (and her A+). Detectives Nadir and Barnes, channeling Briscoe and Logan, were put on the case. Honestly, I could watch an entire episode of Troy and Abed playing detective. I could watch an entire episode of Troy and Abed throwing David Caruso-style zingers at each other.

Chung, Chung!

The second half moved events to the courtroom science room for the trial of Todd, the potential Sideshow Bob of Community (he's already got the hair). Watching Jeff and Annie play Jack McCoy and interchangeable attractive female ADA wasn't as much fun as Troy and Abed playing detective, but that felt very L&O too. The Order parts of an episode were always less fun than the Law parts. (too much preaching and moralising). Not that the second half didn't have its moments. How could it not? Omar was the judge, Dean Pelton the DA and, in a nice surprise, Michael Ironside was Todd's lawyer/army colonel/uncle, who was also sleeping on Todd’s couch for the weekend.

Chung, Chung!

Case closed, it was back to the Dean's office for booze and reflections. Things then took a more serious turn when it was revealed that Starburns, a possible “Holocaust-denying, 9/11 pedophile”, had been killed when the meth lab in his car trunk blew up. But even that sombre twist was in keeping with the style of Law & Order, where many an episode would end with someone getting a tragic phone call. Poor Starburns. He dreamt of being the Heisenberg of Greendale. But instead he ended up being the.... Starburns of Greendale. Rest in Peace, Starburns Alex.

Notes and Quotes

-- It is a scientific fact that anything is improved by the presence of Michael Ironside.

-- Because they weren't cops, instead of police badges, Troy and Abed wore Inspector Spacetime badges.

-- I want Troy's Spider-Man tie.

-- Annie's victory dance is very similar to my 'Fuck yeah, Fringe got renewed' dance.

-- Hands up who got the reference in the title? Because I didn't until someone pointed it out to me.

-- Different show, different character, but Omar's still got a code. A man's gotta have a code. And women must surely have a female equivalent, right. A codette or something.

-- Old west colour? Britta, you’re the worst. But I still love you.

-- Britta and Pierce had very little to do in this episode, which is a bit ironic since Gillian Jacobs and Chevy Chase are the only members of the main cast to have appeared on a Law & Order series. Jacobs guest starred in an episode of Criminal Intent in 2009 while Chase appeared on the main series in 2006.

-- Yvette Nicole Brown would actually make a great police captain.

Annie: “A passing grade, like a C? Why don't I just get pregnant at a Bus Station?”

Shirley: “He's right, you're not cops.”
Abed: “I’d say our hands are tied, but we basically have no hands.”

Abed: “What happened, Todd? Cut yourself on an extra sharp Oscar Wilde play?”

Jeff: “This yam isn’t boiled. Vicki?”
Vicki: “I didn’t do it I swear!”
Fat Neil: “I boiled the yams! Vicki’s yam never sprouted and I didn’t want her to fail so I threw off the grading curve so she wouldn’t have to go to summer school and we can finally have sex in my parents cabin. God forgive me, I did it for love!”

Troy: “That doesn't make sense. You don’t order ketchup, it’s a condiment.”

Jeff: "If it's any consolation, she got me here on a very misleading text message."
Annie: "Jeff, technically you are about to be screwed in the biology room because our project has been destroyed."

Abed: “You're telling me that after all this, our suspect is going to slip away on the technicality that we're not police.”

Troy: “Todd Jacobsen, you have the right to do whatever you want, nothing you say or do can be used against you by anyone, but we’d really like it if you came with us, please and thank you.”

Dean Pelton: “I'm inclined to agree with the man in uniform.”
Jeff: “Shocker.”

Lt. Col. Archwood: “Objection, she's clearly ramping up to something,”
Jeff: “Objection, that's not a real objection.”
Prof. Kane: “Objection, I hate the both of you.”

Four out of four Chung, Chungs!

Glee: Dance With Somebody


The New Directions seniors get mushy about saying goodbye to McKinley and their significant others. Will intends to rap at his wedding. Everyone mourns Whitney Houston.

How strange to have two tributes episodes in a row, both elevated above what’s become the norm for Glee (an overstuffed melange of plot-threads) by tying the central theme to the ongoing plot of the McKinley seniors’ impending exodus. I’m not complaining – it is refreshing to have an episode that holds together long enough to do what Glee does best – evokes a feeling. Admittedly, it’s a reiteration of what we felt last week, but to me, Whitney’s death is a more powerful vehicle than the songs and plot of Saturday Night Fever. The kids’ mixture of grief for Whitney, and sadness for what they’ll be leaving behind after Graduation lent a certain gravitas to the proceedings this week. 

Bartender, Get Me A Klaine, On The Rocks *snaps fingers* 

Gravitas like, for example, Kurt and Blaine were in trouble – Oh Noes! Ok, I am pretty sure none of us thought for a moment those two lovebirds were really in jeopardy, but the writers pulled a neat trick here, in that they took all of the lack of effort they’ve made with Klaine this season, and used it as fuel to explain why there could be cracks appearing in the relationship. Were you wondering why Blaine has had eight solos this season when Kurt’s only had one? Well Kurt has been wondering too. Even though it’s obvious Kurt has only been underutilised this year because the writers do indeed have a new ‘Alpha Gay’ to play with, they did an ok job of making it seem like actual groundwork has been laid for this plot. It’s a sign of good writing when the characters feel as if they have thoughts and actions outside of what you actually see on screen, and Glee is particularly poor at creating that feeling. This is mainly because it rushes through plots and pulls its characters into the shape they need to be to fit the story of the week, so the fact that I actually started wondering how Kurt has been feeling about all the Blaine performances (that we have all been enjoying so much) is something to be applauded.

Back to Kurt and Blaine – I found it hard to believe Kurt would be so into texting this Chandler guy, even though he came across as a pretty well-drawn and likeable character in the space of one scene. What’s easier to stomach is that Blaine has been emotionally withdrawing in order to deal with the prospect of a McKinley High without Kurt, causing Kurt to feel neglected and undesirable, and need something to provide an antidote to that. Sending flirty texts is an appropriate transgression for Kurt because it can be essentially harmless, or a worrying indication of cheating that is occurring or about to occur. In Kurt’s mind, it was perfectly innocent. When Blaine discovered the texts, we could see he was already mentally racing ahead to the point of discovering Kurt in bed with this other guy. The scene with Emma where they finally started talking openly to one another was the strongest of the episode. But is it really going to be as easy as a nightly Skype conversation and weekly visits to NYC after Kurt leaves Ohio?

What To Do With The Time That Is Given To Us

I enjoyed the scenes of Puck and Rachel trying to make the most of the little time they have left with the boys and Santana respectively, but both would have been far more powerful with a little build up. We’ve seen very few personal bonding moments between Puck and anyone other than Finn this season, in fact the shot glasses really needed some history such as ‘ND Boys Drinks Night’, or at least for the boys to have bonded during Blame It On The Alcohol. Also, the Rachel/Santana duet came completely out of the blue, they’ve never had much of a connection - Rachel jumping straight to ‘here’s a photo of me to gaze at every day’ was a bit premature. So, while I appreciated the sentiment, the only one of these ‘why must it end so soon?’ scenes I truly enjoyed was between Kurt and Burt. It is a shame we haven’t seen much of Kurt’s home life this season, since potentially five main characters, Kurt, Blaine, Finn, Rachel and Burt spend significant amounts of time there, but Mike O’Malley is so good that we believe he has been skipping dinners with Kurt because he finds it painful to contemplate how temporary their situation is. He’s helped by having a great monologue that manages to reference Kurt’s mum’s death and tie it in with fatherhood and watching your children grow up and move away, thus drawing a more solid connection between Kurt and Whitney Houston’s passing. I am gonna miss you too, Burt. Let’s hope Glee can find a way to keep Mike O’Malley on for Season 4. The way the episode ended, with Kurt gazing into his locker as if was a time capsule, was the perfect shot to encapsulate what Burt was talking about. In fact, it said it far more succinctly – in no words at all.

Loved

- Nice bit of trivia - When Blaine told Kurt "I love you so much," he was wearing the same cardigan he wore when he first told Kurt that he loved him in New York.

- More trivia - The outfit Kurt was wearing in I Have Nothing was the same outfit he wore during his perfomance of As If We Never Said Goodbye, and both songs are his solos in the choir room.

- I wonder if we’ll see Chandler again? I hope so, he was very funny to watch, and you have to have love for a guy who comes up with the text “I'm pretty sure you were Cleopatra in a past life. You've got a great asp.” That’s a pretty potent pun!

- Emma’s ‘Say You’re Sorry With A Song’ pamphlet.

- This week’s fashion report: Kurt’s Hippo brooch becomes every Gleek’s must-have accessory!

Didn’t Love

- Sugar and Rory weren’t in the episode again. Maybe they’ve eloped? Sue wasn’t around either.

- The stupidness of Will’s marriage plot. It felt almost as if the writers had had the discussion of whether they could get the cast back together next winter for Will’s wedding, or whether this May will be the last time they can get everyone onscreen together, in which case it would be better to do the marriage in the finale. This seemed like as if it was that discussion, translated into a plot line. It also didn’t work in that Will really shouldn’t be obsessing over saying goodbye to the seniors – he’s a teacher, it’s what they do! Will has built The Little Engine That Could with New Directions – it should be sustaining regardless of the specific roster of kids.

- I am completely uninvested in Holy Joe’s Boner of Woe. This would be an interesting subject if Glee actually took time to explore it, and if it took a stronger stance, but instead it glossed over any scrutiny of Biblical orders to abstain, and didn’t give Sam Larsen much to work with.

- Boo, no gay kissing. We got a Brittana duet and a major Klaine romantic storyline yet there were hugs and no kisses.

- Argh, I have started using Glee-couple portmanteaus!

Glee Against the Music

How Will I Know performed by Rachel, Kurt, Mercedes and Santana:
Good idea to do this acapella although I thought it was a bit strange for Santana to be included – she doesn’t seem like the type to be Whitney obsessed. The shrine was both touching and hilarious. Did anyone else keep thinking “Shhhh!” during the library section? B+ 

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) performed by Brittany, Santana and the Cheerios:
The girls looked amazing in those matching dresses, and the choreography was spot on (also, impressive in those heels!) but I would’ve liked to see the background change colour for the video tribute section. Can you believe it took this long for Brittany and Santana to get a duet together this season? Grade B+ 

Saving All My Love For You performed by Quinn and Joe:
I suppose this made sense in that it could be taken to mean that Joe wants to be faithful to one person, and he’s trying to decide whether it is Quinn or God. But it also doesn’t make sense – it’s actually about a woman having an affair with a married man. I’d say that could be Quinn singing to Joe who’s spiritually married to God, but that’s really stretching things! At least a musical montage is a good way to show a courtship period in shorthand, which is just as well since I wasn’t feeling much chemistry between Samuel Larsen and Dianna Aggron. Good job their voices fit well together. Grade B-

So Emotional performed by Rachel and Santana:
I would’ve liked a scene prior to this to explain why Rachel and Santana would take the time to work on a duet together – their girl-pal vibe in the song felt a bit forced. This was also my least favourite Whitney song that they chose to cover. Grade C+

It's Not Right But It's Okay performed by Blaine with the New Directions:
And that folks, is how you do a Whitney tribute. There was the glass table, the group of judgemental backing singers, sexy police dancers and Blaine looking confident and gorgeous in that suit. It’s just a shame it wasn’t leather! This was also more integrated into the plot than most Glee songs. Grade A- 

I Have Nothing performed by Kurt:
Hurrah for Kurt finally getting another solo. This is the first he’s had since I Am Unicorn, and it reminded me what a wonderful performer he is. Also, check out the excellent Pointing – straight from the Cooper Anderson school of acting. I also enjoyed Blaine looking sad/adorable. Grade A- 

My Love Is Your Love performed by Mercedes, Artie, Kurt and Blaine with the New Directions:
Everybody say ‘Aww’! It was heart-warming to see all of New Directions arriving to join the song, and even more so to see them taking their Whitney shrine down and looking over some of the photos and memories they’ve made over the past three years. A beautiful tribute Grade B+

Quotes for Gleeks

Blaine: “This song is for anyone who’s ever been cheated on!”
Kurt: “This is insane, I didn’t cheat on you!”
Brittany: “Cheetahs have the fastest land speed of any living animal.”

Blaine: “Do you know how many times you’ve texted me in the past two days? Four. And three of them were about finding peach-colored shoe polish.”

Rachel: “Finn sends me cutesy text messages all the time. Usually they’re puns about my boobs, but I still appreciate the effort.”

Brittany: “Joe is really pretty, but I heard she doesn't shave her armpits.”

Brittany: “And Quinn, you're still dancing in my dreams. And you can fly and breathe fire.”

Puck: “I’m sorry Finn, I tried to get your balls back from Rachel, but she’s got those on lockdown.”

Burt: “Everybody warned me when you were eight and bugging the crap out of me that one day I’d be begging for you to wake me up with a nightmare, or wreck the kitchen, playing restaurant.”
Kurt: “I was 9. Who knew paella was gonna be so complicated?”

Solid episode, but I am a little bit worried they’ve exhausted all the warm fuzzies associated with saying goodbye to the McKinley seniors already. Wait, this is Glee, there’s always more warm fuzzy. I’ll let you guys rate this one. How many “Green is for humidity controlled storage to keep in mint condition, to sell as memorabilia after Kurt gets famous” stickers?

Supernatural: The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo


"I'm gonna die. I should have taken that job at Google."

And now for something completely different.

Stephen King: The Wind Through the Keyhole (Dark Tower 4.5)


“And so it happened, once upon a bye.”

Stephen King finished his magnum opus, the seven-book Dark Tower series, in 2004. But now in 2012 he has discovered that his “old friends had a little more to say.” “It was a great gift to find them again,” he says, “years after I though their stories were told.” Us hardy Dark Tower fanatics were equally pleased to hear that we would have the chance to see our old friends—although some of us may wish they had a bit more to do and a bit less to say.


The Wind Through the Keyhole fits between Wizard and Glass and Wolves of the Calla. Wizard and Glass was split between stories that featured the heroes of the Dark Tower series (Eddie, Susannah, Jake, and Oy) and Roland’s storytelling of his own past and first love. It is a fascinating book, but often clumsy: I have re-read it numerous times, and I have begun to skip Roland’s narrative in favor of those narrated by Sai King himself. Eddie, Susannah, Jake, and Oy are what make the Dark Tower emotionally fulfilling. Roland’s past is interesting, but not (for me) as fascinating.

Sadly, The Wind Through the Keyhole suffers from the same fault as Wizard and Glass. Team Roland gets stuck in a storm and pass the night with a story narrated by Roland—one that explains an adventure he had shortly after the events he’d described in WaG. Within that story, young Roland narrates a Gilead fairy-tale about a young boy on a quest.

That King would choose to use Roland (one in the past, one in the “present” of the Dark Tower story) to narrate both stories is appropriate to two of the dominant themes of the second half of the Dark Tower series. One, the tricky, often reflexive, relationship between hero and author. Two, the ways in which storytelling, frame narratives, and meta-narrative remind us of both the fictionality of what we are reading, and the way that stories and how we tell them shape our understanding of our own lives.

That’s all well and good, but if you are hoping for more adventures with the gunslingers you know, this book is a disappointment. They listen silently (even Eddie!) and when it is time to move on, the book ends. However, if you manage your expectations and treat this book as the opportunity to see another glimpse of Roland’s past, as well as a bit more of Mid-World, you will not be disappointed. The story of Roland’s youth is effective, and shows his gradual transition into the man he will become. It even features the horror and gore that helped King make a name for himself back in the day. In that way, it feels almost like the story of his own growth towards authorial maturity.

Narrated by young Roland, the fairy-tale is even stronger. It is a true quest narrative, set in a simple village that backs onto a scary forest filled with monsters, featuring a young, stout-hearted protagonist who makes mistakes and takes risks to do what is right. The themes within this story resonate with the themes in the story of Roland’s youth, and the conclusion to both of those stories neatly tie up some of the dangling threads left in WaG.

Because both stories feature child-heroes, because of the obvious fairy-tale influence on the central tale, and because it is a relatively short 309 pages, this book feel simpler than King’s more recent work. It did not sate my thirst for more Dark Tower, or even my desire for a new Stephen King book. But it did make me smile, and I’ve been pleased to recall one scene in particular numerous times in the days since I finished the book. I suspect it is a book that will grow on me, both in memory and in re-reading.

2.5 out of 4 tygers.

The Secret Circle: Traitor

“We totally got out-magic-ed in our own magic house. Unbelievable”

The shock factor is something that can go either way. In a show that knows what its doing and where it’s going, it can work as great mechanism for enticing viewers into returning, on one that’s messy and disjointed, it’ll just come off as cheap and forced. The former applies in The Secret Circle’s case, but without that sense of impending battle and culmination, Traitor’s twist could have so easily become the latter.

Among other things, Diana’s new identity seems like the stimulus required to stop John Blackwell in his tracks. Her opposition to his methods was never as pronounced as it was after she discovered her true parental lineage, but I guess that’s the point. If he’s capable of tearing two happily content people just to further his own agenda, then he’s certainly capable of deceiving the circle. As the show’s trademark force of good, it makes sense for Diana to be the second Blackwell. Cassie gave into that dark side of herself so easily, we never got to see someone like Diana who has strong morals and an even stronger sense of self, not even entertain the notion of using it for protection. It makes me worry that she may fall a lot harder than Cassie did, should she need to resort to tapping into it.

Diana’s discovery is something that also serves Cassie’s loss in a way that she could never really grasp right away, especially if she’s dealing with the shock of it herself. Now that Jane is gone (RIP), Cassie has no family left. Out of everyone in the circle, Diana was always the one she was closest to, and after learning that the bond they share could be tied to something she so desperately needs, must be overwhelming. It’s almost forgivable that the writers waited until now to reveal the show’s biggest mystery. It could never have had such a profound meaning a few weeks ago.

Every week the writers seem to entertain some different combination of all of the characters, and it never feels like something left into chance. Each time characters interact if feels engineered and totally intentional, especially in the light of recent events that make their reciprocity more purposeful than it would normally. That applies not only to Cassie and Diana but to Jake and Faye, and Melissa and Adam as well. Every scene seems to use the traits we’ve come to expect from each of these characters and plays them off each and every other character, typically to interesting results. Even if the results aren’t momentous events, or pivotal realizations, they’re always rewarding predicaments, no one can deny the unbounded chemistry between Faye and Jake, can they?

So, Nick’s back. I never really missed him, mostly because he was always the flattest of each of the characters in this show. I don’t think for a second that he’s back in some permanent capacity; his return is most likely attached to some kind of spell being used to destroy the circle, or stop Blackwell, or kill the Elders, or something. I dunno, this show is kind of confusing sometimes. Regardless, his return brought the shock necessary to keep this show throttling forward, even though casting spoilers ruined it a little for me. The only thing ruining the season’s big narrative is that we haven’t really seen our “big bad” enough, but that’s a small gripe, and easily overlooked in light of everything else.

The best thing about The Secret Circe lately is the feeling that it’s following in its predecessor’s footsteps. As far as I can remember, it was around this time during the first season when I really sank into The Vampire Diaries and the kind of show it was, and the same is really applicable in this show’s instance. It’s just a shame this newfound confidence isn’t translating into ratings, since Traitor is yet another strong contribution on The Secret Circle’s part.

Plus

One of my favourite parts of his episode was when Nick burst through the bars after Cassie is sure he’s trapped; random as hell.

Faye distracting Dawn was kind of hilarious.

If this show is cancelled, I’m going to throw cats at little babies.

He Said, She Said

Cassie: “I think what hurts the most about losing my grandmother is...is that she’s the only thing I have left of my Mom and now. I mean, there’s no one left alive that really knows me. Knows me, before everything changed.”

Charles: “I was there when you were born. I raised you. I’m your father. Not him.”

Faye: “If we live remind me to download this song. It would be perfect for my “running for your life” treadmill mix.”

3 out of 4 creepy clowns.

Previously Posted at PandaTV.

Fringe: Worlds Apart

“Every war has a cost.”

Now we know. No—that’s not right. Now we think we know Jones’s master plan, and we think we know his motives (basic megalomaniacal world destruction, with animal accompaniment). What matters more, however, is the damage he has caused. Not earthquake damage, although of course that is significant, but damage to the sense of community that has, for the past few episodes, been growing between the two worlds.

Vampire Diaries: Do Not Go Gentle


“Sometimes, the people who love her get caught in the crossfire.”

So are you raging, raging against the dying of the light? On a show that encourages us to never give up without a fight, we’re stuck in a rather awkward situation, as the Alaric story has headed so far downhill it’s practically in Antarctica. (South is downhill, right?)

Awake: Game Day


"Just that one thing. One tiny little thing, and this could all be different."

I had a feeling Michael and Hannah would experience some obstacle to their departure from Los Angeles, and voila.

NewsFlash: Fringe Renewed


Congratulations, Fringe fans: you now have proof that there is a God, and He/She is a good God. (Also, He/She works at Fox. Who knew?) In other (less religious) words, our favorite time-bendy wonky-science serialized genre show has been renewed for an "exciting and climatic" last season of 13 episodes.


Here's what the internet is calling a "Season Five Promo." Almost zero spoilers. Really, zero spoilers plus a tiny tease.



Happy Fringe is getting the time it needs to wrap up the stories without resorting to graphic novels? Or feeling a little bruised and battered by recent jumps to the future? Let us know in the comments...

Breaking Bad: ABQ


"Lies on top of lies on top of lies."

What an outstanding, moving finale.

Revenge: Justice


"Sorry to interrupt your regularly-scheduled plotting."

Revenge's shift to courtroom drama the past two episodes (ever since it returned from the hiatus) has felt very jarring. I actually always imagined that this would be how the second season would look like. And while I usually enjoy law machinations, I felt last week that the show was missing something. Sure enough, this feeling continued throughout the first half of this episode. Then, Daniel confronted Emily at her house and my faith was renewed by the end of the hour. This is one show that barely had a single misstep throughout its marvelous first season so I'm positive it will go out on a high.

First off, I'm surprised Daniel's trial ended so early. It's actually quite the impressive move on the writers' part because the storyline could have easily been dragged out until the finale by a lesser show. They obviously still have some marvelous stories up their sleeves which is undeniably exciting.

As for Charlotte and Declan, I was ready to start another rant about just how useless and annoying the characters are and then Charlotte went ahead and got interesting for the first time in a while. I surprisingly enjoyed her bad girl scene as she bribed the maid and proceeded to have sex with her drug dealer. If the writers decide to make her a full-on villain instead of a love-struck idiot with the IQ of a shrimp, the character just might work yet.

And finally for the second week in a row, Revenge delivers a knockout ending. I absolutely loved everything from the cinematography to the rousing score as the writers delivered a fake-out and we realized Lee (instead of Daniel) had hung himself and Emily came to the realization that the Graysons did indeed murder her father. I've said it a million times this season and I'll say it again, she's a fantastic protagonist and I can't wait to see what sneaky plans she intends to hatch as we wind down the season.

Vengeful Bits:

- Wonderful slow-motion opening of Daniel's trial and Emily's excellent voiceover (for once). I really, really enjoyed her insight about jurors.

- Daniel drinking again. That can't be good.

- Conrad threatening Dominique made me despise him even more, if that's possible.

- Fantastic scene with Daniel confronting Emily before the police storm in and she eyes her bag.

- Can Declan just die already?

- Brilliant move by Emily putting the bloody sweatshirt in Lee's car.

- Victoria screaming at Conrad for scaring off Dominique was a surprisingly touching moment for the character.

Devious Delight:

- Victoria: Go home, Emily. And tomorrow, deliver the performance of your life.

After last week's underwhelming episode, this was a strong hour and a welcome return to form.

3 out of 4 bloody sweatshirts.


Previously posted at Nad's Reviews.

Mad Men: Far Away Places

"It's young and it's beautiful, and no-one else is gonna figure out how to say that about beans."

A lot can happen in a day. Like Seven Twenty Three in the third season, this was another episode that experimented with non-linear narrative, all of the three stories here linked by that collective desire to break out and escape. It's a theme that's always been at the forefront of much of Mad Men, that wanting to experience adventure and break up the monotony of everyday life. We can all relate to that, but it was even more daring back in 1966 -- doing something bad, abandoning your responsibilities, reaching that high. Every story here had that same sense of momentum, and the three characters anchoring their own vignettes all wound up experiencing some kind of epiphany or emotional break-through. And only one of them was helped by a little LSD.

Peggy's story is likely the most transparent in its use of escape. Peggy herself has been at something of a crossroads this year, at the top of her game but struggling to truly be heard. The Heinz account has been a brick wall that she's repeatedly slamming her head against, and her latest pitch and subsequently her latest shut-down pushes her to breaking point. Because it's beans. And it's ridiculous. Yet this guy is never happy. So she flees the office, goes to the movies, smokes pot, gives a stranger a handjob and returns to work. All of this is so wild for her, Peggy just cutting loose and doing whatever the hell she feels like doing in the moment.

But it's also so intriguing from a time stand-point. What this episode does so well is in exploring the unexpected detours that we go down on any single day. Peggy's story opens with an argument with her boyfriend, Abe's exchanges implying that this is the latest in a line of frustration. Things have been festering for a while. The fight is put on hold, and Peggy ventures into this day filled with shock and spur-of-the-moment nuttiness. In just a couple of hours, she becomes this different person. And later, when she calls Abe and reaches out to him for some kind of late-night intimacy, only she is aware of the day she's had, and what she's done. It's just a fascinating mode of storytelling, the intricate moments that occur within a couple of hours, and the lives you lead far removed from your typical personality, that no-one but yourself is even aware of.

Time itself has been an integral element in every episode this season, cemented here by Roger's experience with LSD while the Beach Boys' I Just Wasn't Made for These Times plays in the background. Roger is somebody who breezes through life in his own little bubble -- it's his universe, and everybody just sort of orbits around him. But the drug opens that bubble up, allowing Roger to finally see the emotions and vulnerabilities in others. There are metaphorical warnings at first, notably the declaration to not 'look in the mirror', but he eventually gives into it. Age plays an important role in his LSD trip, as he sees his dual selves (the young and the old Roger), fantasizes about the 1919 World Series and begins to see the vast differences between him and Jane.

While Roger has his eyes opened in the experience, Jane seems to react badly. She becomes fearful, regretful, concerned about her weight and appears disgusted at her own form. But maybe that too was a warning. As the very next morning Roger confronts her with their mutual dissatisfaction, the trip exposing how distant they've grown from one another. And it appears to be the end. Jane attempts to salvage things, but Roger's mind seems pretty made up. Later, at work, he seems ecstatic. There's a tragic irony to this, Jane's determination to get Roger to stay and experience the high with her only backfiring on her marriage and lifestyle. Poor Jane.

Don's story was all about the confronting of home truths. For a short time here, Don almost treated Megan like a child. He drags her around to places she doesn't want to go, is bothered when she appears distracted by work, and encourages her to try desserts she's never eaten before. It's at that moment that he snaps, finally angered so much by her own aspirations and, gosh, 'personality' that he abandons her at the Howard Johnson's and drives off on his own. Only for it all to quickly come crashing down on him when he returns to the restaurant and finds that she's vanished.

Don does love Megan. He values her, he adores her, and is genuinely ruptured by the possibility that something has happened to her and that he is responsible. But there's also that longing for a better time, now that they've settled into their post-honeymoon period. He dreams of their Disneyland vacation last season, his children in the backseat and Megan this adoring, intriguing woman in his life -- before she exhibited her own character and became more relaxed with her flaws. Before she became more willing to confront their issues. Megan has suddenly become complicated, and this story pushed the feeling that Don is struggling to maneuver himself into this new incarnation of their marriage. We saw a similar idea earlier this year in regards to Don's place in the world itself. Here he wishes his time with Megan could just stand still, somewhere before the pain began.

Yet Megan is taking it hard, too. "Why doesn't this man respect my work and my talent?" "How could he leave me like he did?" They get over their fight and return to work with smiles on their faces, but that image of a gorgeous, compatible power couple is slowly coming unhinged. Like she tells him, "every fight [they] have only diminishes this a little bit". In the end, everybody goes back to work -- the events of yesterday, with the excitement and the epiphanies and the terror, all but a distant memory. But those feelings still linger, masked by smiles. Because those feelings are private, even if you wish you could confront them more openly.

Notables

- Scott Hornbacher's direction was gorgeous, especially his use of lighting. I loved the dimming of light-to-dark as Peggy slept, as well as the dimly-lit night-time scenes as she spoke with Ginsberg and later called Abe.

- Gold acting stars to John Slattery, Peyton List and Jon Hamm. Especially List, for whom this appears to be her curtain call.

- So Don Draper as we know him is back. The world is seemingly back to normal, and he's been confronted with his recent lack of effort. Good job, Bertram.

- Of course we now know that there were babies born in WWII concentration camps, but it must have been horrible to consider that possibility so unimaginable -- therefore thinking the circumstances of your birth and parentage are mysterious and impossible to discover. This kid is growing on me.

- Loved Jane's strange intergalactic-space-princess dress.

Quotage

Roger: Did you ever hear the one about the farmer's daughter? This is where it all takes place!

Roger: Sitting here listening to these people have a conversation that has nothing to do with me. It's incredible.

Previously posted at Unwelcome Commentary.

Eureka: The Real Thing

… in which Carter, Henry, and Kevin keep the search going for the missing Astraeus crew. Meanwhile, Beverly struggles to keep the crew from discovering the truth of their situation.

Game of Thrones: Garden of Bones

“Does anyone live?”

This episode was both the wittiest and the most depressing one we’ve gotten all season. Since witty and depressing are my two favorite things, I enjoyed it absolutely—what happened, what seems to be about to happen, and what is happening differently than it does in the books. Not to mention the incredible everything: acting, costumes, and especially the horrific Harrenhal.

Breaking Bad: Phoenix


"Meet your daughter."

Walt's daughter Holly was born.

Fringe: Letters of Transit

“Resistance must take place at any opportunity.”

This was a great episode, almost despite itself. An hour devoted to people we have never met, this close to what might be the final episode of the show ever? And yet it was touching, interesting, and extremely well done, just like all Fringe episodes are. But while “Letters of Transit” was a great episode, I’m still not sure that I’m on board with the direction this season has taken, or with the place of this episode in the master plan.

Once Upon a Time: The Return


“You can’t just turn someone into a snail and step on them, can you?”

This episode had something important to say, but just took too long to say it. Everything that happened here was a necessity in continuing this show’s journey towards an eventual turning point, and though it spent a little too much time following characters talking nonsense, it was still a strong episode in what is so far a solid season-ending arc.

Doux News: April 22, 2012


This week: Community is the most popular show on the internet -- Buffyverse-related news -- American Horror Story -- Comment of the week -- Commendation for meritorious service above and beyond the call of duty -- Most annoying characters on TV

No real cancellation/renewal news yet. I mostly have tidbits this week.

Apparently, Community is the most popular show on the internet. The show was recently named TV Guide's fan-favorite comedy and the actors the fan-favorite ensemble. The Big Bang Theory, a show with a sci-fi focus and an ensemble cast, gets MUCH higher ratings but didn't win in any category. (Here's the link to the full article on Gawker, which is an interesting read.)

Why do people like us (I tend to call us "geeks", even though that doesn't describe us at all) bond so strongly and get so passionate about shows like Community, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek and so on? If you have thoughts about this, I'd love to hear them, because it's been a huge part of my life forever but it's still a mystery to me.

Buffyverse-related news

Amy Acker, who has been on nearly every show I love, is going to be in the Person of Interest season finale. Yay!

Eliza Dushku is voicing She-Hulk.

And some actual Buffy news! With The Avengers coming soon and Cabin in the Woods making an interesting and surprising splash, there are a bunch of interviews with Joss Whedon in the news. And Whedon says he is still considering the possibility of the spinoff series Ripper starring Tony Head. I'm not holding my breath, but wouldn't it be nice? If The Avengers does as well as expected, Whedon will probably never return to television.

American Horror Story

American Horror Story ended (and I'll try to be vague, but if you haven't seen the first season and you're planning to, skip past this paragraph) with a lot of events that would necessitate recasting. Many have wondered what on earth they'd be doing next season. And here you go.

Comment of the week, and Commendation for meritorious service above and beyond the call of duty

My favorite comment this week was a lovely one by Suzanne on maxpower03's review of the season (and probably series) finale of Ringer. Suzanne said things about Max's review that I wished I'd said. Max closed his review with, "Thanks to everybody who has stuck with these reviews over the last couple of months, and congratulations for getting through the season with me. I feel like we deserve some kind of award."

So in honor of Max's determination to keep reviewing Ringer until the bitter end, I am pleased to announce that Max is this year's winner of P.U. award for stamina and persistence in continuing to review a series despite being assaulted weekly with bland characters, lingering plotholes and ridiculous plot twists.

Although the awards were never actually held, (the award ceremony took place only in my head), Josie Kafka was the recipient of the previous two Doux P.U. awards for hanging in there with FlashForward and of course, the source of the award's name, the original P.U. -- Persons Unknown.

Most annoying characters on TV

EW had an article (okay, not so much an article as a slideshow, the laziest of articles) of the 20 most annoying characters on TV. Several of their nominees are in shows we review.



(pictured: Dawn and Kennedy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Meg, Supernatural; Will Schuester, Glee; Henry Mills, Once Upon a Time; Nikki/Paulo, Lost)

While my vote would definitely go to Dawn on Buffy, part of me believes that children should never be nominated for awards like this. Look at what happened to poor Jake Lloyd, who has been blamed for ruining an entire Star Wars movie. It wasn't Jake Lloyd's fault. It was George Lucas's fault. For that matter, can we blame Nikki and Paulo for their brief adventures on Lost? I'd blame the show runners for trying to retcon characters. They should have known we'd never fall for something like that.

Anyway, for what it's worth. Who do you think is the most annoying character on TV, past or present?

That's it for this week. Opinions, raves, rants, questions?

Community: Virtual Systems Analysis

“I didn’t get Inception!”

After this episode finished, my first thought was “How I am going to review that?”. Dan Harmon may have spoken too soon when he described 'Documentary Filmmaking: Redux' as the series' “least accessible, least marketable episode”. An entire episode of Abed and Annie in the Dreamatorium is about as high concept as Community can get. This had the potential to be the best thing the series has ever done or it could've ended up being its Ishtar. I don't think it was either.

Supernatural: Of Grave Importance


"What are the odds this ends well?"

This episode touched on themes they've explored in the entire series about the negative nature of the supernatural. Ghosts go crazy and hurt people. It's inevitable. Bobby really should be drinking beer at the Roadhouse with Ellen, Jo, Ash, Pamela, Rufus and especially his wife, Karen. (Wow. A lot of people have died in this series, haven't they?)

Awake: Night Swimming

“A chance to walk away from this mess and start afresh.”

I know I sound like a broken record, but each week Awake astonishes me with the simple beauty of its characters, including those that—on other shows—might be dismissed as nothing more than corpses waiting to happen. “Night Swimming,” once again, didn’t disappoint. And while we’re still not getting anywhere with the mystery of what’s going on, I continue not to really care.

Breaking Bad: Mandala

"From what I do hear about him, he sounds a little like you."

So much for do-it-yourself distribution.

Vampire Diaries: Heart of Darkness


“He changes her, too.”

This week’s episode focused on difficult encounters between characters, as well as the revelation of various secret longings, dark hearts, and veiled emotions, from Evilaric’s hidden stake (and not-so-hidden rage) to Elena’s ambiguous desire, Caroline’s alleged feelings for Klaus, and the last-minute revelation about Rebekah that I totally didn’t see coming.

The Secret Circle: Crystal

“The circle will be the death of you.”

With a clear end-game in sight, and after last week’s declaration of war on the witch hunters, this episode marked the beginning of what is clearly the show’s final march towards the season finale. Momentum throttled this episode forward at a seriously rapid pace, bringing new revelations into the fold, and changing the circle irreversibly.

There’s always been a strong bond between Cassie and Diana, I wouldn’t say it was a sisterly one, but the idea of them sharing something like this isn’t without merit. In fact, it serves the dynamics that have been formed so far quite well by highlighting all of the characterisation that the writers have gotten right from the start. The twist itself was one of greatest moves the writers have made all season, but I had honestly come to the conclusion half way through the episode. That didn’t diminish the power of the episode’s final moment at all though, which has really kick started The Secret Circle in a way I never thought it could have.

Such a massive revelation fed quite neatly into Diana’s desire to set herself apart from the circle. I’ve discussed it so many times already, but Diana’s independence has forged her a nice separate identity from the circle, and as a result she’s begun to stand out from the crowd, so to speak. I love it when you think you have a character all figured out, and then they’re turned around on you. She’s been that kind of girl ever since she made the decision to cut Adam loose, and her side tryst with Grant has only solidified that opinion. It’ll be interesting to see where Diana ends up by season’s end. I hope it’s not in a body bag.

Speaking of body bags, after retuning with a new “and” credit, I should have spotted Ashley Crow getting the Amber Benson treatment straight away. Given her large absence, I can’t say Jane is someone I’ll miss a whole lot, but as a single character unit, I’ve always enjoyed the strength and comfort she so easily exuded. It’ll be devastating to see Cassie suffer yet another massive loss. That girl can’t catch a break. Jane’s death felt more like a way to reveal John’s true colours (finally), but its emotional effect shouldn’t be ignored.

The history of witchcraft in this series has always been a fascinating aspect, and I got serious enjoyment out of the amount divulged during this episode. Alongside some serious “fill-in-the-blanks” about the fire 16 years ago, the story of the witch’s arrival to Chance Harbour gave the series back story a lot more weight and believability. The only thing we’re missing now is a nice flashback episode. Something similar to ‘Witness’ wouldn’t go amiss, right?

I honestly thought an episode named after the most annoying plot device of all time would suck a tonne, but ‘Crystal’ was an episode that put an end to the slightly clumsy nature of the show’s plots by neatly tying them all together, and sending the show forward with a new lease on life.

Plus

- It was pretty cool how close Charles came to being outed about Amelia’s death. Without a blood connection, once Diana finds out he’s pretty much dead to her.

- I really hope Callum never comes back. That guy is such a creep.

- Even though John’s an evil dirtbag, I loved that scene with Faye towards the end. She’s a lot more lost than she lets on, and her obvious elation at having a father was quite nice to see.

- That was a sweet little reunion between Jake and his granddaddy. The male teens in this show seriously need some more character work, they’re becoming to macho-male for me, it was nice to see some vulnerability.

He Said, She Said

Faye: “I can’t believe I just rifled my Mom’s underwear drawer. No one that old should have that many thongs.”

John: “The only reason you’re not dead right now, is I still have use for you.”
Some kind of “luring your daughter into black magic” plan, perhaps?

Cassie: “Oh my God, it’s true.”
Diana: “What are you talking about?!”
Cassie: “It’s you.”
Diana: “What’s me?
Cassie: “You’re the other Blackwell in the circle. You’re my sister.”

3 and half out of 4 secret sisters.

Previously posted at PandaTV.


Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris


[This review contains spoilers.]

"Maybe I should install a crematorium in my backyard."

Synopsis

Sookie impulsively takes up her witch friend Amelia on her offer to dissolve her blood bond with Eric, and even though their love survives the process, they must break up because Eric's maker Ocella set up an arranged marriage for him with the Queen of Oklahoma. Sookie discovers an old letter from Gran about her half-fairy grandfather that includes a magical fairy object called a cluviel dor that will grant Sookie one wish. Sookie also discovers that Mr. Cataliades is the source of her mind-reading gift.

Pam and Eric are in conflict because she wants to make a vampire child, and Victor Madden, the king's agent in Louisiana, won't give his permission. Bar businesses Merlotte's and Fangtasia are suffering because of competition with two sleazy establishments owned by Victor, as well. Eric, Pam, Sookie and their allies set up a special private party for Victor at Fangtasia featuring a concert by Bubba, and manage to assassinate Victor.

Review

I'm a huge fan of Charlaine Harris's work, and even I have to admit this is far from her strongest Sookie novel.

The most disappointing development for me is the dissolution of the Sookie/Eric blood bond, which is my favorite ongoing plot in the book series. Even though it's satisfying that they still love each other without it, Eric's upcoming arranged marriage with the Queen of Oklahoma (noooooo!) has essentially broken them up. And I don't get that. Apparently, vampire/human marriages are recognized as important by vampires under some circumstances, but not others, and that doesn't make a lot of sense.

Even worse, Sookie reconnects emotionally with Bill after she winds up naked in his daylight hiding place. Since Bill saves Sookie from being tossed into a car trunk by two evildoers, it feels a lot like the author is absolving him of the car trunk rape much earlier in the series. That, and the dissolution of the Sookie/Eric blood bond, feels an awful lot like Sookie is going to return to Bill (noooooo!)

I also hated seeing Eric and Pam fighting over something that wasn't either of their faults, because it didn't feel like something they would do. How could Eric have the free will to take out Victor in such a decisive way while still obeying his orders about Pam not making a vampire child and Ocella's beyond the grave edict of an arranged marriage? Can you say, forced conflict? It would have made more story sense if the removal of the blood bond had also removed Sookie's love for Eric. (Although, once again, noooooo!)

The fairies cleaning out the attic and Dermot's attempt to renovate it into another bedroom is fun, but it feels a bit like an episode of HGTV blended with a sitcom about Sookie's wacky roommates, the crazy fairies. And Sookie lived with Gran nearly her entire life, and never got even a particle of a mind-reading hint that Gran's marriage was a lie? Like the Bill rescue, it felt like retcon for me. I also thought that the explanation we finally got as to where Sookie's mind-reading gift comes from (a genetic baby shower gift from Mr. Cataliades) was unsatisfying. Although it explained Hunter, it didn't explain Barry the bellboy, although I suppose one of Barry's ancestors could have gotten a mystical genetic baby shower gift from a demon, too.

The bloody battle in Fangtasia to overthrow Victor was cool, although it appeared to drive yet another wedge between Sookie and Eric. I liked the contrast of the battle with the baby shower for Tara, since it served well as a commentary on the widely diverse problems in Sookie's life. And at least the Pelt situation finally, finally ended with Sandra's well-deserved death. Here's hoping another previously unknown Pelt bent on revenge doesn't show up in the next book.

It seems likely that book twelve (which will be released May 1, 2012) will focus on Eric's familial obligation to marry the Queen of Oklahoma, whom we have yet to meet, and the as yet unused fairy object, the cluviel dor, which will grant Sookie one wish. I did like that there are restrictions on the wish (no way to wish for world peace or for Sookie's "gift" to disappear). Here's hoping that Sookie uses it to wish that Eric is freed of his obligation.

Bits and pieces:

-- At the start of the book, Sookie is living with Claude and Dermot. Dermot vanishes inexplicably near the end of the book, and Sookie throws Claude out because he and Amelia try to trick Sookie into getting involved with Alcide. Sookie has had it with Alcide using her. About time.

-- Miriam, the woman Pam chose to be her child, was dying of leukemia. That was a bit too convenient plotwise, and a shame. I would have enjoyed Pam making a vampire child.

-- Because four bars aren't enough in the story, action also takes place in Hooligan's, Claude's strip bar that has become a refuge for the exiled fae. That felt a bit like set-up for the next book, too.

-- Niall and Eric had Terry Bellefleur secretly guarding Sookie.

-- Lily Bard and Jack Leeds again cross over from Harris's Shakespeare series, but this time they're working for Mr. Cataliades, hired to warn Sookie that Sandra Pelt has gotten out of prison.

-- Amelia and Bob are a couple again. I like Amelia's protective wards around the house that allow in only those with good intentions. I want one of those.

-- Eric has a new "day guy" -- a were named Mustapha Khan.

In closing...

I plan to post a review of book twelve shortly after it comes out, which is May 1. And I won't be including spoilers.

Important notice! After eleven books and four seasons of the series, I have no idea what kind of spoiler limitations to put on the comments section under these circumstances -- so I'm not going to put any. It's a spoiler free for all! If you're new to the books and haven't seen all of the television series True Blood, reading the comments may, and probably will, spoil you. Read on at your own risk!

Revenge: Doubt


"Your empire is crumbling, my queen."

A tad too underwhelming for my liking. Revenge has been on hiatus for far too long so viewers were bound to find themselves out of the show's groove. It doesn't help that this was a transitional hour which was too preoccupied with setting up the season's final stretch than providing us with many explosive developments.

Glee: Saturday Night Glee-ver


“It’s not the broken dreams that break us, it’s the ones we didn’t dare to dream.”

I hope no one was put off by the cringe-worthy title of this episode, because it was one of the best of the season. I start each one of my Glee reviews by writing the music section, because the music is really why I watch the show. I’m sure that’s the case for a lot of people. If it’s not the main reason why you watch it, it’s in the top three, along with Darren Criss and Naya Rivera. So you can imagine my delight when this week’s episode started off with some sort of surreal Darren Criss advert. The fact that it seemed to happen apropos of nothing added to the impact, it was as if the show was saying ‘if you can’t get onboard with this, please leave now’. Thankfully, I got on the glitter ball, I hope you did too.

Saturday Night Fever was a perfect fit for an episode about following your dreams while singing and dancing. In fact, that’s pretty much the over-arching theme of the series. The main ongoing plot this season has been the struggles of the various senior characters to figure out what they will be going on to do after graduation, and it’s been a bit of a lynchpin. Even though some of the plot-lines this season have been rather dire, most episodes have had least one scene regarding the idea that some of our beloved characters will be leaving at the end of the season, and we’re all invested in finding out what their plans are. It’s something we all care about; just like we used to want Will Shuester to make a success of New Directions and find out what an evil shrew his wife was, way back in Season One.

Tuesday Night Finn-ver

While Mercedes and Santana’s plots were enjoyable to watch, both had nonsensical elements like Glee not understanding how YouTube works, and Lord Tubbington being featured in a Santittany sex tape (don’t get me wrong, that was amazing). It was Finn who really stole the show with that scene where becomes surprisingly articulate about how scared he is of leaving high school behind, of never again feeling what he feels on the football pitch, or on stage with New Directions. I completely understand Finn’s fear that he’ll be a failure, and I’m sure Will does too. Terri was doing her best to make him feel like one when the series began, and neither Will nor Finn wants him and Rachel to end up the same way. I’m not sure that there’s been much evidence of Finn secretly wanting to be an actor though – did he even audition for West Side Story? Maybe he shouldn’t have chosen a profession that is likely to involve a lot of knocks, after all, most actors never make it big.

Actually, Unique’s a Her

It’s kind of hard to believe that Wade would have been worshipping Kurt and Mercedes from afar all this time, only to approach them now, but it’s hardly the most implausible thing that’s happened on the show. While part of me just wants to hoist my rainbow flag and shout “Hurrah for LGBT representation on TV”, I’m slightly worried that some people will have confused Wade’s trans-ness for just enjoying dressing up. As this was only a side-plot, the episode didn’t really have time to explain the difference between being trans and being a cross-dresser, but Alex Newell did a lot with the material, so we got at least some sense of how different Wade/Unique feels. I am fairly confident this will be explored in more depth at some point, if not necessarily next week. While the Glee writers have always been cavalier with guest stars’ storylines, sexuality is one of the strongest recurring themes of the series. Take Karofsky for example. Despite him having very little scene-time this season, and despite us not having seen or heard anything about him since his suicide attempt, his storyline had some of the most powerful scenes of the season.

Loved

-Mr Shue’s glee club diorama. Who can I commission to make me one?

-The video of Lord Tubbington doing household chores needs to be released in full online. If it is intercut with Santana and Brittany doing sexy things... well I’d probably watch that too.

-I wonder if Heather Morris did all the choreography this episode. Regardless, I always enjoy Glee more if it contains plenty Brittany dancing, so this week’s was a treat.

-Alex Newell’s appearance means The Glee Project winners have all made their debut. Alex’s has been far and away the most enjoyable to watch. In case you’re wondering who the others are, they’re the Gerber Baby, Irish Rory (didn’t even notice his absence this week), and Teen Jesus.

- I enjoyed Mr Shue’s flashbacks to That’s The Way (I Like It) (which was in the Director's Cut of the Pilot) and when Sue mentions swag. But how did he remember Rachel saying “mattresses” when he wasn’t there?

-Nice to see Mercedes and Kurt doing things together again.

-They mentioned Blaine's big brother, Cooper, who I miss!

Didn’t Love

-“Disco Sucks” Huh? I am sorry but Kurt would never say that. Not because he’s gay, but because he’s Kurt.

- Stupidest quote of the week: “Your assignment for the week – perform a song from Saturday Night Fever, and then share your hopes for the future.”

-Sue is just now plain nice. I fear this is a permanent personality shift, since her one-liners have consistently become meta-gags and pop-culture references instead of wonderful put-downs.

-Jesse St. James is back, but didn’t have much to do. I am glad of his return, but can’t he be in Vocal Adrenaline rather than coaching it? Remember Bohemian Rhapsody?

-Apparently Sam doesn’t know the difference between 485 views and 485 comments on YouTube. Doh!

Glee Against The Music

The Bee Gees - You Should Be Dancing performed by Blaine with Brittany and Mike:
Glitter balls everywhere. Awesome dancing. Blaine doing a straddle jump. This could not have been more ridiculous or more fun. Grade A-

The Bee Gees - Night Fever performed by Will, Sue, Joe and Blaine with the New Directions:
Impressive falsettos boys. Everyone showing off their moves was very fun and in some cases, hilarious, like when we saw everyone’s nonplussed reactions to Finns moves. Err, I mean move. Grade B+

The Trammps - Disco Inferno performed by Mercedes with Santana and Brittany:
Most flimsy introduction to a song, ever. Other than that, it was great, and Mercedes looked amazing. Grade B

Yvonne Elliman - If I Can't Have You performed by Santana with the New Directions:
I honestly believe Santana could wear a bin bag and still look incredible. Check out the pointing at Brittany too, we learnt last week that’s the way you show who you’re talking/singing to. Grade B+

The Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love performed by Rachel with William McKinley Jazz Ensemble:
This is such an awesome song, and well performed, Rachel. Also, check it out – band members singing. Grade B+

KC and the Sunshine Band - Boogie Shoes performed by Wade/Unique with Vocal Adrenaline:
Wow. Wade/Unique looked and sounded amazing there, and if you take this as the introduction of the first trans character on Glee, it’s a pretty powerful first impression. Lets ignore the fact that Wade could never have kept what he was about to do a secret from everyone, and just enjoy the performance. VA won their Regionals for certain. Grade A

The Bee Gees - More Than a Woman performed by Finn with Santana and Kurt:
Everybody say Aww. I liked seeing Glee’s four main student couples dancing together, it was like a mini-prom. Plus, Brittany getting to wear anything other than her cheerleading outfit always makes me happy. Grade B+

The Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive performed by Finn, Mercedes, and Santana with the New Directions:
You don’t need to have seen Saturday Night Fever to appreciate seeing the cast strut their stuff in the white suits. I hope Becky got paid! The cheesy moves were a lot of fun, but where was Quinn? Grade B+

Quotes for Gleeks

Sue: “Lets be honest, William, you’ve been out of ideas since Madonna week. Why don’t you just embrace that lazy, horribly treacly style of teaching and assign them a famous album.”

Jesse: “The star of Vocal Adrenaline is Vocal Adrenaline. No one is special. You’re the Borg. You don’t like it, there’s the freaking door. Am I clear, Chunks McGriddle?”

Sam: “One of them was disappointed because they thought Mercedes Inferno was a car fail video.”

Santana: “I am a thousand percent sure that I’m actually going to be famous, just like I’m a thousand percent sure that our man-child piano player keeps a petite Eurasian locked in a trunk underneath his bed.”

Sue: “Look at poor Brittany. Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler’s fist.”
Brittany: “I can show you the MRI.”

Finn: “I did one of those quizzes online that was supposed to tell you what job you’d be good at, and my results were: Competitive Eating Champion.”

Brittany: “It’s a bull testicle. I drove all the way to Spencerville to get it. It came with a pair, but I got hungry on the way home, so… It tastes just like a chicken testicle. It’s for Fear Factor. If you want to be famous, you have to eat crazy stuff.”

Quote of the Week: “Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones, Unique worships the red carpet you walk on. If you two had a love-child, it would be Unique. And Unique’s grandparents would be Andre Leon Talley and Beyonce, because only the best will do for Unique. Yes fools, it’s real chinchilla! Unless you’re planning on spattering it with red paint, then it’s fake.”

Was this four out of four glitter balls? You tell me.