Game of Thrones: Blackwater

“Who are you, that I must bow so low?"

In keeping with the tradition established by last season’s “Baelor,” Season Two’s penultimate episode was a doozy: violent, personal, and—I think—with something for both book readers and newbies. Plus, wildfire and the "Rains of Castemere"!

Discussion: Sequels and Prequels

Billie's recent review of The Matrix inspired a great discussion question from super-awesome-fabulous reader KAM: Which sequels or prequels surpass the originals? And which sequels or prequels should never have been made? We're turning that all-important question over to you, readers, in this week's discussion thread.

Snow White and the Huntsman

"You have eyes, huntsman, but you do not see. She is the one."

This movie is pretty much as you’d expect it to be. It’s Snow White, just embellished to give it enough dimension to work as a large-scope action-adventure. That’s not to say it’s a bad movie though, it’s actually pretty great, and leaves very little left to the imagination, as creative and physical ingenuity take the story to new, exciting heights.

Mad Men: The Other Woman

"We've all had nights in our lives where we've made mistakes for free."

I've always thought there was something naturally tragic about owning a huge, fancy car. Okay, that's probably a little unfair. But so often the purchasing of something like the Jaguar at the center of The Other Woman is guided by the very fact that it's incredibly expensive and awe-inspiring. It's a physical reflection of your wealth, something that isn't static like a house or a fancy object, but something you can drive around and impress with by proxy of merely passing by. For those fleeting seconds it's ridiculously impressive. But, I don't know... it feels hollow. Maybe if you're genuinely filthy rich and could afford a couple of them, but when you're merely pushing the illusion of wealth and grandeur, it can't help but read as sort of underwhelming.

The Matrix

[This review includes spoilers.]

"Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony."

I saw this movie in the theater, with no idea what was coming. And it just blew me away.

World's Sexiest Supernaturals: The Top 25

The E! channel here in the UK is famous for doing these kinds of countdowns, most of which I avoid like the plague. But, how does one resist watching when they are counting down some of my favourite types of characters? I set the DVR and sat down to see what the general consensus was. So, without further ado:

Men In Black 3

Agent K: "There are things out there you don't need to know about."
Agent J: "That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me."

I left the theater with a smile. But it turned quickly into a frown as I pondered what was wrong with this movie. I spent the entire way home coming up with plot holes, inconsistencies, and paradoxes. Although I don't think it matters, because all of the Men In Black movies have had giant plot holes and inconsistencies.

Awake: Turtles All the Way Down

“Sometimes it’s miraculous, how you untangle something.”

As the story goes, a famous physicist gave a lecture explaining the structure of the universe. After his talk, a woman came up to him and asked, “How do you account for the fact the world rests on the back of a giant turtle?” “Ah,” he said, “but what does the turtle rest on?” “You can’t fool me,” she responded. “It’s turtles all the way down.”

WIGS, Geek and Sundry, and the Show Which Must Not Be Named

In an era of changing viewing habits, economic cuts, and poor career opportunities for women actors (unless it's porn), it should come as no surprise that there's been a shift recently towards alternative methods of product delivery. As genre TV junkies, we're already familiar with webisodes. (Even if we're not really sure what to do with them, where they fit in, or even if there's any point to them.) What some are now attempting to do is probably the next logical step in that evolution: exclusive online content, created by top drawer writers/directors/producers/actors, available to view when and where you want.

Glee: Goodbye

“We’re just gonna sit here and we’re gonna let go.... Can you do that with me? Can you surrender?”

Ahh. So many goodbyes to say. For this review I’ll talk about each of the graduating characters in turn:

Doux News: May 27, 2012

This week: Cancellations and Upcoming Fun -- Billie Made Me Post This -- So Sad it Deserves its Own Section -- Obama vs. Aliens -- Around the Internet -- Peter Dinklage, Drag Queen -- Philip K. Dick, Philosopher -- Perpetuate This, NBC.

Community: Introduction to Finality

“Cruel, cruel, cruel.”

I'd like to start by apologising for taking so long with this review. It has been one hell of a turbulent week for Community fans and I've been having trouble articulating my thoughts and feelings about this episode, Dan Harmon's departure, and what the future holds for the show. I still am. Too bad I didn't have Sony to tell me what to say and think (way to Thought Police, guys). Anyway, after struggling for a week, this rambling mess is the best I could come up with. I hope you enjoy it.

Revenge: Reckoning

"Just stay where you are and do not do anything revenge-y until I get there."

Eureka: Worst Case Scenario

... in which the Global employees participate in a disaster preparedness drill, because apparently they haven’t had enough practice averting catastrophes.

Castle: A Chill Goes Through Her Veins

“A cop doesn’t get to decide how the story ends.”

Until now, Castle has been focused on Castle himself. We have spent four hours getting to know his family and poker buddies, the way he is integrating himself into the precinct and, to a small degree, the way he thinks. Much of what we know about Beckett has come through either discussions with the people with whom she works or Castle’s perception of her.

Mad Men: Christmas Waltz

"My mother raised me to be admired."

If you're involved in Mad Men's online fan community, then you're doubtlessly aware that there have recently been minor rumblings of dissatisfaction with this season. I certainly understand their reasoning, even if I don't particularly feel like season five has been any less strong than the preceding years. But, with all that in mind, there was definitely a sense of cool nostalgia in Don and Joan's get-together. It suddenly made me remember how much more intimate the show used to be, the cast bouncing off one another in smaller moments that bristled with energy, with dialogue that wasn't steaming with overt symbolism. While I adore this show and have so far loved this season, Don and Joan brought the house down, and the writers should really try and explore older relationships like that.

Castle: Hell Hath No Fury

“Just yanking your chain, Detective. Just yanking your chain.”

One of the things I most admire about the writers on Castle is that they did not force nor rush the initial stages of the Castle/Beckett partnership. Certainly the aspect of the show that kept me coming back through the initial episodes was being able to watch these two people forge a relationship. In this episode, as they solve the murder of a politician, the partnership is evolving -- but slowly.

Game of Thrones: The Prince of Winterfell (Novices)

[“The Prince of Winterfell” is a difficult episode to review without mentioning book spoilers and various hypotheses about what is coming next. For that reason, I have written two reviews: this one, which is spoiler-free for readers who have not read the book, and another for readers who have read up to the end of Storm of Swords. There’s some repetition between the two, because I am a bear of very little brain.]

Game of Thrones: The Prince of Winterfell (Bookreaders)

[“The Prince of Winterfell” is a difficult episode to review without mentioning book spoilers and various hypotheses about what is coming next. For that reason, I have written two reviews: one that is spoiler-free for readers who have not read the book, and this review, for readers who have read up to the end of Storm of Swords. There’s some repetition between the two, because I am a bear of very little brain.]

Castle: Hedge Fund Homeboys

“You know, actually having to prove things is really tedious.”

This week, our team sets out to solve the murder of a teenaged boy found floating in a row boat in Central Park. While the case itself was good enough, what was really well done was the theme of the show -- the juxtaposition of wealth and street in Manhattan, a point very well made by the title of the show.

Person of Interest: Firewall

“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not trying to kill you.”

I like to think I’m too good for CBS shows, although I’ve only seen a few episodes of any of them. Despite (or perhaps because of) that fact, I think of CBS as a station for old people who enjoy watching Mark Harmon solve the same case every week. But over the past nine months I’ve gradually fallen into like (not love) with Person of Interest, which manages to work moments of hilarity, maturity, and poetically painful loneliness into its procedural person-of-the-week structure.

The Secret Circle: Family

“The time has finally come for a cleansing.”

This episode had to be amazing, didn’t it? Just to make it even more awful for me to say goodbye. Ugh. 'Family' wasn’t altogether shocking; in fact everything that happened was kind of to be expected. Predictable doesn’t adequately describe it though, because it was all stuff that had to happen. The Secret Circle was headed in the right direction, characters were even more appealing than they were before and the future looked bright. One thing’s for certain: season two would have been amazing.

Doux News: May 20, 2012

This week: New shows this fall (Revolution, 666 Park Avenue) -- Big changes on the CW -- Big change on Community -- Summer shows -- Haunted hospital -- Tweet of the week

Once Upon a Time: A Land Without Magic

“Magic is coming.”

Sword fights! Dragons! True loves kiss! Those were just a small fraction of the events of ‘A Land Without Magic,’ an episode that proved itself to be the season finale we’d been waiting for. All of the season’s storylines were brought together seamlessly, and the episode was an emotionally charged spectacle from start to finish, never once letting the tension and excitement up. But, where do we go from here?

Castle: Nanny McDead

“Richard Castle. Just NY.”

The case of the week is about a nanny who has been found in one of the dryers in the building in which she worked. It is not one of the most interesting or fun the show has ever done, but what I loved about this episode was learning about Castle the man and watching the beginnings of his partnership with Beckett.

Community: The First Chang Dynasty

“Fire can’t go through doors, stupid! It’s not a ghost!”

I'd like to start by thanking Josie for helping me out with the big Block o' Community this week. I've said it once and I'll say it again, you are a very beautiful star, Josie.

Supernatural: Survival of the Fittest

Castiel: "Please accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity."

"Carry On, Wayward Son" gives me chills at the end of every season. Have they ever done a bad season finale?

Awake: Two Birds

“Let’s make this right.”

The first half of this episode was extremely disorienting. I started to doubt my faith in Britten’s mental clarity, and began to wonder if his therapists were correct: not only had he fabricated at least one of his universes, but he had begun to fabricate a complicated story of persecution that would allow him to wallow in a frustrated, dead-end investigation that couldn’t end, because the investigation allowed him to prolong his own complicated refusal to accept his loss.

Community: Digital Estate Planning

“I think we can choose how we want to play.”

[Don’t worry, communitarians: Mark got hit with a Community triple play this week, so I’m pinch-hitting for just this one review. Mark will return with your regularly schedule reviewing for “The First Chang Dynasty” and “Introduction to Finality.”]

Revenge: Grief

"I will never accept and I will never forgive."

Revenge's spectacular premiere season is almost over, and this hour was a pretty effective setup for the hopefully explosive finale.

Glee: Nationals

Rachel: "When I first met you, I was just an annoying Jewish girl with two gay dads and a very big dream. Today, I still have two dads, I'm still Jewish and probably just as annoying..."

Glee hasn't been blowing me away this season. But this episode brought my love of Glee back to me, because (1) they finally, finally, FINALLY won the national championship, and at the best possible time; (2) Rachel and Finn rocked "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," a performance perfect for their characters that reminded me of their spectacular version of "Don't Stop Believing" in the pilot episode; and (3) the obvious poignancy associated with the fact that a number of the characters are graduating, and some of them won't be back next season.

Eureka: Jack of All Trades

... in which Warren Hughes arrives to evaluate the Astraeus crew’s fitness for duty just as Carter and various crew members begin switching bodies.

Glee: Props

[Hey, Glee fans! I'm subbing for Harry, who is on vacation this week, and Samantha will be helping me out by writing the music section. We're doing last night's double episode separately. Our review of "Nationals" will be posted tomorrow.]

Merlin: Excalibur

“I have watched so many people I love die at your hands, Uther Pendragon. Now it is your turn.”

Flamin' typical! You wait all season for a great episode of Merlin, and two come along at once.

Game of Thrones: A Man Without Honor

“No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or another.”

With only three episodes left, Game of Thrones has unsurprisingly taken a moment to remind us of what is at stake in the constant warfare, treachery, and deceit of Westeros and beyond: people, all of whom might die at any moment, or make an incredibly stupid decision, or both.

Mad Men: Dark Shadows

"I'm thankful I have everything I want, and no one else has anything better."

It doesn't seem fair to claim that Dark Shadows didn't totally work because it was such a Betty-heavy episode. And that was a probably an unfortunate turn of phrase. Heh. It's been a constant criticism of Mad Men in recent years that Betty isn't entirely necessary anymore, so stuck on the periphery of the show that she could easily be written out all-together. It's similarly unfortunate that this debate has only gotten more heated this season, when January Jones' pregnancy has majorly increased her absences from the series, meaning Betty turning up again after several weeks of being MIA comes off like a visit from a ghost from the past. But lumping Betty into a slightly 'off' episode is more of an unlucky coincidence than a statement on Betty's redundancy.

Breaking Bad: I.F.T.

"Honesty is good, don't you think?"

Big tug of war between Walt and Skyler. Walt may have won, but Skyler certainly got the last word.

Castle Book Review: A Brewing Storm

“After all, if there was anything he hated, it was unfinished business.”

Derrick Storm is dead. He was killed by his creator, Richard Castle, four years ago in a book called Storm Fall. Castle was not allowed to have his hero die in peace; everyone from his competitors to his publisher and most of his fans bemoaned the killing and wondered if Castle had lost his mind. But, Storm was laid to rest and Nikki Heat was born.

The Cabin in the Woods

Honestly, I had absolutely no expectations going into this, except for the good reviews coming out about it and because it was a Joss Whedon project. Fran Kranz (formerly of Dollhouse and one of the leads) is quoted as saying that when he read the script, he smiled for days afterwards. Of course I'm paraphrasing, but I had sort of the same reaction, I was smiling the entire way home after watching it. In short I was completely blown away by this movie.

Castle: Flowers For Your Grave

“I’m here for the story.”

It’s been done over and over again -- the procedural show in which two opposite personalities are paired together to solve the crime of the week. What makes this show different from the ones that have come before is that while our two protagonists are opposite, they are also a lot alike.

Community: Curriculum Unavailable

“We're all kind of crazytown banana pants.”

So we had some very good news last week. Against the odds, Community has been renewed for a fourth season. We'll be getting 13 more episodes. I know a lot of people are bitter about that, but I'm not too bothered by it. Maybe it's because I'm British and am used to sitcoms having six episode seasons. To me, 13 is still quite a lot. That's one more than Fawlty Towers ever had.

Dark Shadows

Barnabas: "Love means never having to say you're sorry. However, it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all of you."

Based on a 1960s/70's soap opera of the same name, this is the second attempt to capture the zany supernatural antics of this beloved classic. Okay, maybe "beloved classic" is a bit of a stretch, but it is fondly remembered by a lot of people. I've never had a chance to see the original soap, but I did see the remake done in the early 90's, which I only remember vaguely as being moody and romantic. This new one gives us a very typical set-up of supernatural monsters with vampires, ghosts, and witches, oh my. They don't really explain the rules of the supernatural, but I guess that isn't really the point of the film. It's about the actions of the characters, not what they can do. Unfortunately, although a lot of it works really well, a good chunk of it doesn't.

Supernatural: There Will Be Blood

Dean: "You got Pac-Man and True Blood in the same room, and that's bad news."

This felt like the first part of a two part finale. Probably because it was.

Revenge: Legacy

"Destruction is in my DNA. Take it up with Darwin."

Few shows can pull off offbeat episodes such as this one but "Legacy" was a stunning success. It did a superb job of bringing together a variety of plots threads and intriguing details that emerged throughout the year into a fascinating and cohesive whole.

Doux News: May 13, 2012

This week: Renewals and Cancellations --- Finales Ahoy --- X-Files Mania? --- Joss on Joss --- For Geek Moms Everywhere

(Note: I’m covering the news column on an as-needed basis. But never fear! Billie and the other writers are helping to feed me news tidbits, so shows I don’t watch should still get some love.)

Awake: Say Hello to My Little Friend

“I see a little silhouette-o of a man.”

May I, just for a moment, abdicate any pretense of reviewer maturity, detachment, and general grown-upness and say exactly what I’m thinking? Thank you, I will: this episode was totally awesome. And this show totally deserved a renewal, even though none of us thought it would get what it deserved. Why isn’t life fair?

Fringe: Brave New World, Part 2

“She is the redeemer.”

Fringe finales are usually remarkable works of art: emotionally affecting, scientifically (and delightfully) improbable, mythologically fascinating. This finale was not remarkable, merely good. It is more interesting to wonder what will happen next than it is to consider what has just happened.

Vampire Diaries: The Departed

“This isn’t how our lives were supposed to be.”

Oh.

My.

Frakking.

God.

Renewal NewsFlash: Woo, But Not Hoo

Breaking news! In Thursday's top story, numerous renewals and a few conspicuous absences give us something to look forward to once we survive the summer television wasteland.

Breaking Bad: Caballo Sin Nombre

Walt: "I can't be the bad guy."

Interesting that in the previous episode, Jesse said point blank, "I'm the bad guy." Walt still hasn't caught up emotionally with Jesse. How about that.