Discussion: Predictions for JJ Abrams' Star Wars

So, JJ Abrams is going to be running Star Wars. And, after 2-3 TV series (depending whether you count Lost) and several films, we're starting to see a pattern in Abrams' work, a pattern that could essentially be summed up as 'he's admitted he's obsessed with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and it shows.'


And so, purely for our own amusement, here are my predictions for what JJ might do with the Star Wars universe...

(Possible spoilers for Star Wars, Star Trek, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Alias and Fringe).

It turns out Vader isn't dead after all, he's just uploaded himself into a new body so he can take off the helmet. A new Emperor has arisen and since Luke, Vader and Princess Leia are the only Jedi left they have to get together to fight him by locating pieces of a mysterious machine buried on various different planets at various different points in the past. Leia is reluctant as she's still mad at Vader for trying to kill her back in Episode IV but then the new Emperor's minions kill Han Solo and she teams up with Luke and Vader but resists Vader's attempts to build a relationship with her. Chewbacca is killed and replaced with a clone but no one notices until he tries to kill them all, then just as they've got rid of him they discover Han Solo's alternate from another universe is working for the new Emperor. Alt-Solo has developed, with alt-C-3PO and alt-R2D2, the machine, and scattered it across time and space, but he's trying to put it back together and when repaired it will have the power either to bring the dead back to life or destroy the universe. They have to convince him to come over to their side, which is made more difficult by the fact exposure to a weird red ball has wiped all of Luke and Vader's memories, including Luke's memories of the baby he had with a new character because the only kick-ass female character in Star Wars is his sister...

What do y'all think? Any suggested improvements to my story outline?

11 comments:

CrazyCris said...

Remind me NOT to put you in charge of my next Star Wars movie project Juliette! :p

Also, killing Han Solo is something only Joss Whedon would dare do. ;o)

Billie Doux said...

This is hilarious, Juliette. I think it'll be interesting to look at this post after the movie actually comes out, and see if you were right.

Juliette said...

I can't see him resisting the urge to put in some juicy parent/child issues, I guess it depends who becomes the focus for them - maybe Han and Leia's children, or does Han have some parents somewhere?

CrazyCris said...

No mention of any parents for Han in any of the books (and I've read almost all of the post-New Hope books and many of the prequel era ones.)

But Han and Leia's (and Luke's) kids have PLENTY of issues to focus on! Hell, they even flirt with the dark side! Lots of juicy stuff there... ;o)

celticmarc said...

LMAO

Wow Juliette ! Ccris is wondering what king of drugs I'm taking, but your text beats ALL my crazy comments on this site over the months. Give yourself a gold medal (you guys are costing me a FORTUNE, BTW).

Wow, you surely were massively inspired.

Ah fudge......completely forgotten about the red ball !!

Suzanne said...

Don't count out Felicity (believe it or not) when looking for patterns in Abrams' work. Even though it was a different genre of show, I still saw some similarities to his later works, having been a big fan of that show.

Juliette said...

I've never seen any Felicity, I just remember the fuss when she cut her hair...!

PlatinumRosebud said...

Hahaha.
Juliette, your (not so) far out premise is so insanely funny.

I agree with the parent/child(ren) themes.
JJ do love injecting family angst in his stories.
Those kids with huge chips on their shoulder back stories has somewhat been a trademark in almost all of his work.

How about adding more spice by making Han Solo work for the Emperor and then have a duel with Luke, die and then they find out later that he's doing an undercover work for Vader.
Then he'll be jump started by Vader then have extraordinary babies with Leia.
Wait!
If this Star Wars ep will be part of the continuing saga, Darth's grandkids will be doing all the action and their parents will be doing the counselling.
Otherwise, everything will be in flashback and in slow-mo.

Gosh, this is exhausting. :D

CrazyCris said...

Want some more laughs? Check out this post I found about the Harisson Ford rumour and why he should be grateful it's a JJAbrams movie and not George Lucas! good laughs! :p

http://theparkbencher.blogspot.com.es/2013/02/abrams-over-lucas-why-ford-will-have.html

celticmarc said...

LOL for the link

We are NOT going to cease hearing about this for quite a while !

ChrisB said...

Ah, Juliette. A much needed laugh. This was fantastic.

And, another good laugh with the link, CrazyCris.