by Billie Doux
Sookie: "Not any more."
You can tell it's a True Blood premiere. Everybody really needed a shower.
This episode had an emphasis on really strange families, or more accurately, supernatural family groups. Eric's vampire family sort of pulled together, until they didn't. Nora acting like a "super irritating" big sister and top sergeant didn't endear her to anyone, and Tara wasn't ready to say "yes, sir" and follow orders. I hope that doesn't mean her love affair with Pam is over.
I thought at first that Eric's family was sort of adopting the sort of orphaned Jessica, right until her heart was nearly pulled out of her. Why did Jessica stay with Bill? Is she just being smart, making him think she's an obedient progeny and on his side because she knows he has the ultimate power over her? And what exactly is Bill? First he was the Terminator but covered with blood, and then he was like the old Bill who just accidentally acquired telekinesis and the ability to fly. I thought Bill tucking Jessica into bed was sad, like an echo of their previous relationship.
Sookie seemed to be taking the loss of Bill philosophically. But then again, she's been through so much that she probably can't deal with one more thing, which was undoubtedly why she rescinded Eric's invitation right after he deeded her house back to her. (Really, Sookie. Is that Southern hospitality? What would Gran say?) At least he still loves her, and she definitely feels something if she was willing to stake Billith to save him. It would certainly be nice if the True Blood Powers That Be gave the Sookie/Eric shippers a little something this season, since we got freaking zip last summer.
The family theme continued with the wolf pack, who appear to like their new packmaster parties with some tasty cannibalism followed by an orgy. At least we got all that with some Joe Manganiello nudity. And at least Martha is still around to conveniently take custody of her werewolf granddaughter, since Luna is dead. Too bad. I liked Luna. Poor Sam.
Luna masquerading as Steve Newlin and shifting on live television just might have repercussions. Since the governor of Louisiana just pulled a Nazi Germany on the vampires, can the shifters and werewolves be far behind? Pam just lost Fangtasia. Will Sam lose Merlotte's, too? And there's a statewide vampire curfew. What next? Supes in concentration camps?
Finally, Jason, if you're walking by the side of the road, and Rutger Hauer pulls over to pick you up, you don't get in the car! I guess Bill as a wild card isn't enough, so we now have Warlow, another weird all powerful being whose true nature is unknown. I like Rutger Hauer. He was The vampire in the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Could be fun.
Bits and pieces:
-- Vampire families, wolf packs, and now we have a "litter of alien babies". And poor Andy hasn't taken a "poop class". Good thing Arlene was there in a pinch.
-- Sookie can apparently use her hand as a flashlight now.
-- I kept thinking of the movie Kill Bill. Do you think Bill will make it through the season?
-- Dan and I were talking after the episode, and we decided that if they kill off either Eric or Jessica this season, we're dropping the show. :) Smilie face, but seriously.
Jason: "At least he's flying over us like a naked evil Superman."
No, not a coincidence at all, considering what opened in the movie theaters this week.
Pam: "Who the fuck is Mary Poppins, and can I please kill her?"
Pam: "I hate the beach. Fish piss and sand in your cooch."
That reminded me of a quote by W.C. Fields. "I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it."
Pam: "Whatever Billith is, he's not worth dying for."
Arlene: "… and most importantly, Purell Purell Purell, before and after."
Lafayette: "That's the sickest thing I've seen in TV. And I watch Dance Moms."
I'd never heard of Dance Moms. It's a real show. Live and learn.
Lafayette: "You want something deep fried, dipped in sugar, and fried all over again?"
That was so sweet, pun intended. I love Lafayette. Please give him a good storyline this season?
Jason: "My sister, she'd have me hauled off to the Bunny Ranch and put in one of them strait jackets."
Definitely a jam-packed and fun-to-watch season premiere, and probably three werewolf orgies out of four. Although, True Blood producers, can I repeat what I said about earlier about Eric and Jessica?
Billie Doux is the founder of Doux Reviews and has been reviewing her favorite shows for quite some time. More Billie Doux.