by Billie Doux
I've been waiting and hoping for a Sister Ingalls episode. And then I was mildly disappointed that she turned out to be such a narcissist. And then I thought, what was I expecting, a saint? (I think I was expecting a saint.)
Just like every other character in this show, Sister Ingalls has some serious flaws and has made mistakes. As an idealistic young nun, she jumped at the opportunity to demonstrate against the war in Vietnam, but as her activism progressed and she was unable to hear the voice of Christ in her head, she started listening only to herself. That last demonstration we saw in flashback with the blood and the photo op (plus her wonderfully named spicy autobiography Nun Shall Pass) showed that Sister Ingalls' good works had finally become all about her, and not the works.
And yet, when the hunger strike was foundering on the rocks of the merits of different maple syrups and the last temptation of pizza, Sister Ingalls took over and acted like the leader she was. She knew how to run a protest, and she did it, low blood sugar or not. I loved when she hit Caputo right between the eyes with what happened to Jimmy. "You can't dump sick old ladies in the street. It is unconscionable, inhumane and illegal." I loved the way she just kept screaming in her hospital bed that she did not give anyone permission to force feed her. Go, Sister Ingalls. She's the real deal, after all.
I was also impressed with Healy, who has continued his march toward character redemption by not giving up on Safe Place, where attendance has risen because of its new "remove a shot from my record" policy. Unfortunately, there is no place that is safe for Poussey to talk about what is happening to her. Especially with Suzanne, Vee's enforcer, sitting in the room and staring at her.
Vee tried unsuccessfully to bring Poussey back into the fold, and Taystee was upset about it, too. I hope that means that Taystee hasn't completely gone over to the dark side. If Taystee is now responsible for keeping Poussey quiet, maybe that will help bring them back together.
In this episode's Piper plot, Alex is hiding from Kubra in Queens when she really should be in witness protection. And how massively unfair is it that Kubra and Alex are free and Piper is the only one in prison? Piper is still crazy about Alex, no matter how much she rationalizes it with Healy. Piper also stood up for the hunger strike by publishing their demands in the newsletter, which was promptly taken away from her.
And now Piper is going to be transferred to another prison in Virginia with twelve other women. Healy said it was random, but we all know it was the wrath of Fig, who is so worried about getting caught with her hand in the cookie jar that she is also fixing the B-dorm bathroom.
Which means Vee wins again. I'm sick of Vee winning. Vee needs to lose, big time. It's a shame that Taslitz didn't succeed in her Vee assassination attempt. (And please, I hope that wasn't Watson that she stabbed.) Underestimating old ladies has been a major theme this season. Taslitz is scary. She also needs glasses.
Bits and pieces:
-- Daya has had it with Bennett, and drew a comic featuring a pregnant horse shouldering her burden alone. Aleida is advising blackmail along with suing the government, but hopefully, Daya is better than that. And hopefully, Bennett will take responsibility for supporting his child, even if he doesn't acknowledge it publicly.
-- Healy said that when he was a boy, his mother got electro-shock therapy and made a lot of soups after that. This explains a lot about Healy.
-- Black Cindy ratted out Big Boo, who was the one that ratted out Red. Vee didn't want Boo in her family, either. Snitching is apparently frowned upon in prison. (That was my sarcastic voice.)
-- I'm starting to like Soso. She may be annoying, but she's also stubbornly sticking to her principles. I loved the bit about Gandhi.
-- Watson returned from the SHU looking horrible, and rejected Yoga's overtures to talk about it. Sad.
-- Suzanne called Pennsatucky "Pennsabama". I thought maybe that might work with a lot of other state names, but I tried it and it doesn't.
-- Polly and Larry dropped the hammer on Pete, who thought they were approaching him about a threesome. Frankly, as awful as Larry is, Pete is worse and Polly is well rid of him. Although it was quite satisfying seeing Pete punch Larry in the face.
-- Piper got out of a shot by saying "menses madness".
-- Riot gear. What could go wrong with that, she said the week after Ferguson, Missouri went nuts?
-- There was a lot of set-up regarding the approach of a large winter storm called Wanda. Must be important for the next episode.
Soso: "We're trying to effect positive change."
Sister Ingalls: "Can you please do it quietly?"
Sister Constance: "Focus not on what Christ may do for you, but on what you can do for Christ."
Sister Ingalls: "Good tip. Thank you, Sister Kennedy."
Caputo: "This shameful sexual violation is really working out for you, isn't it?"
Fig: "I am just happy that we have helped to start a dialogue."
Poussey: (to Vee) "You're like a pedophile without the sex."
Absolutely perfect, Poussey.
Red: "I give you fiber supplements! I give you Ben-Gay! And this is how you repay me?"
Nun number three: "I was afraid nunning was going to be boring, but that was so exciting."
Aleida: "A lot of people are stupid and still live full productive lives."
Soso: "Gus is a webmaster of an anti-logging blog, and Gerry runs a bakery that sells anti-authoritarian cupcakes."
Leanne: "Water under the creek. I forgive you."
I love mixed metaphors.
Nicky: "Didn't she screw you over in Chicago? Oh, that's right, that's kind of how you two relate, isn't it? Like Spy versus Spy, but sexual."
Vee: "If its and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas."
Black Cindy: "And if snitches and bitches were wine and beer, we'd all have a Happy New Year."
Suzanne: "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride…"
Three out of four anti-authoritarian cupcakes,
Billie Doux is the founder of Doux Reviews and has been reviewing her favorite shows for quite some time. More Billie Doux.