Since I know the wheels and gears of genius grind slow, I’m not embarrassed to admit that it took me about six hours after watching this episode to realize that I’d gotten exactly what I wished for last week: closure. And since I know I’m fickle, I’m not (too) embarrassed to admit that I’m not sure I’m happy with what we got.
Don’t get me wrong: hooray! Silas is done! Although the fourth season got bogged down by the Silas stuff, the show improved in the fifth season once Paul Wesley got the opportunity to flex his doppelactor muscles. I’ve enjoyed stone-cold bastard Silas almost as much as I enjoyed stone-cold bitch Tessa (especially when she was holding her own with Ian Somerhalder’s patented snark). It was the sense of picaresque melodrama that was starting to get to me.
Now: problem solved. We’re moving on, presumably to college just in time for midterms. But was it worth it? I had the same issue with Silas and Tessa that I had with Klaus: because I always expected them to be defeated, I never got invested in their drama. I saw them as obstacles our heroes must deal with, rather than as the heroes of their own stories.
Is that my fault, or the show’s fault? I really can’t tell. When Nikki and Paolo joined the Losties on the beach, a collective groan was heard across the fandom. We all knew that wasn’t working: even Darlton agreed. But Klaus was popular with many fans. Maybe some other fans were hoping Silas would get his own Cajun spinoff sometime soon. But I wasn’t, no matter how much fun it was to watch Paul Wesley do his thing.
I mention all that because the epic bitter end of the Silas/Tessa/Amara triangle felt like it was supposed to feel epic. Silas got his comeuppance for being a sly jerk: as a supernatural being, he is doomed to spend eternity on the Other Side. He will live that unlife without his love Amara, who died as a human and therefore went to the Great Beyond (directions not available on Google maps). He will live that unlife with Tessa, who died a witch and therefore will spend eternity with Silas and, I guess, Bonnie’s Gram.
Tessa’s suicide was like a public service announcement warning us to never fall in true love. Amara’s betrayal was a fascinating glimpse into the doppelganger tendency to fall madly in love with Silastefans and then choose something else. Silas dying at Stefan’s hand felt like lovely karma. It was a huge ending to a 2000-year love affair. And yet my predominant emotion was wistful: I’m going to miss Tessa’s brand of evil deadpan. That girl has wit.
In other news: the show isn’t completely rebooting, of course. Bonnie is now the anchor, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Katherine is once again MIA and still a candidate for the AARP. Nadia is going back to Prague, which leaves me a bit confused about whether or not Matt still has a Gregor in his head.
Stefan has regained his memories, and for him the Stefan/Elena betrayal is still fresh—and still painful. Not as painful as his traumatic memories of drowning over and over again, though. Drowning is #1 on my list of Ways I Really Don’t Want to Die, so I wholeheartedly support his panic attacks, and I hope he figures out a way to deal with that trauma, because I don’t think I could.
Being near Elena and Damon might make it worse, though. Tessa harassed Damon about the whole “fated by the universe” thing for quite a while; can Damon get past the destiny-sized chip on his shoulder to be a good boyfriend to Elena? Or is Tessa right, and the universe really wants to get those two kids together? It seems to me like Amara’s choice of death over love means that the universe likes to play the game, but the final moves are always up to the players. It’ll be interesting to see which side The Vampire Diaries choose: Team Fate or Team Free Will.
• Stefan: “Why do you think I’m crazy? All I’ve wanted for the last 2000 years has been to be reunited with the love of my life. How is that crazy?”
• Stefan: “I’m in Philly? Oh, God. It’s even worse.” I’ve been to Philly. It had more buildings then.
• Bonnie (about dying): “It won’t hurt, will it? It would suck if it hurt.” Oh, irony.
• Dr. Enfield: “Patient is irritable. Not sure if it is a symptom or just…personality.”
• Damon: “This is not the time to have an everyman crisis.”
• Damon: “I got doppelgangers coming out of my ears!”
• Tessa: “So you live in this giant mansion with two doppelgangers who are destined to end up together. I swear there’s a sitcom in there somewhere.”
• Decent explanation for Amara knowing English: she learned it on the Other Side.
• I thought it was the cure that made Katherine resurrect after Silas sucked it out of her, so I spent a few minutes wondering if Silas would resurrect after Stefan killed him. I guess not. Or are they leaving that door open?
Three out of four How I Met Your Doppelganger, a new sitcom from CBS.
Josie Kafka reviews The Vampire Diaries, True Detective, Game of Thrones, and various other things that take her fancy. She is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)
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