Vampire Diaries: I Would for You

“It sure feels like we’re on our way to the world’s largest waste of time.”

That quote—uttered by Stefan as he seeks out more herbs to mask the hunter’s mark signal—overstates the case, but not by much. This episode finally caught us up to the three-year flashforward, but it took an unnecessarily meandering road to get there.

Last week, I mentioned how much I like Rayna. I would like to officially retract that statement. There’s nothing wrong with the character, per se. The actress is doing a great job. (I love her no-nonsense delivery). But the “rules” she’s forced to play by are so hackneyed that they’re absurd. She kills vamps, but only sometimes. When she marks them, but doesn’t kill them, she follows them around until she kills them. And she seems unable to really take control of her actions: why can’t she just decide not to hunt Stefan? Is she forced to pursue him against her will?

That question was lurking in the back of my mind throughout the episode, and came right to the forefront by the end, when—in flashforward Dallas—Rayna tells Stefan that she can relocate the mark to Damon, who is willing to do so. That her actions are as predetermined, if not more so, than those of her quarry is horribly depressing. (Or, as I said above, horribly absurd: the Rayna rules are awfully convenient for the TVD plot machine.)

In addition to dealing with (and slaughtering, then reviving) Rayna, Damon had a big Bonnie week in “I Would for You.” His decision to desiccate and wait for Elena was awfully complicated—as his letter to Ric indicated, and his speech to Stefan—but it was Bonnie’s goodbye that was most touching. Those two have come a long way, haven’t they? Just thinking about it, though, makes me long for the days of the 1994 world, the Pearl Jam crossword clues, and the thrill of mystery this show used to have.

There is some mystery left, though. In the flashforwards, Bonnie is in a mental health facility and in love with Enzo. How does she get there? Does the Armory have something to do with it?

Do Matt and his girlfriend have something to do with it? Their vampire hunt in Mystic Falls was a long time coming, and I’m happy Matt is getting laid for the first time in… seven years? But in the flashforward he mentioned that his girlfriend died. And in this episode, he turned up his vamp-hatred to eleven by threatening to blackmail Stefan right out of Mystic Falls. (Specifically, Matt threatened to expose Stefan and Damon with surveillance tapes. Expose to whom? I have no idea.)

All that leaves Stefan with neither a rock nor a hard place to get between. He can’t stay in Mystic Falls; he can’t stop running from Rayna. He can’t travel the world with Caroline, who is feeling the baby-bliss, and he can’t stay in Dallas. Good thing he has a convenient replacement girlfriend to bum around with!

Bites and Pieces

• Damon keeps mentioning how much Rayna looks like Elena. It’s funny every time.

• I was half right (or 8/9ths right) last week: Rayna only has as many lives as she consumed back in the day. So, in the flashforwards, she is down to just one life.

• I wonder what’s up with the Armory in the flashforwards, since Rayna clearly escaped?

• It’s sort of crazy to think that Team Mystic Falls know whether or not Donald Trump is/will be president in three years, and the rest of us are stuck waiting to see what happens in real time.

I’m not sure what to rate this. How many large balls of yarn out of four?

Josie Kafka reviews The Vampire Diaries, True Detective, Game of Thrones, and various other things that take her fancy. She is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)

2 comments:

Billie Doux said...

I always enjoy your TVD reviews, Josie. :)

For some reason, the buzz saw and the pistachios and Damon preparing to keep killing Rayna for as long as it took made me laugh. So did Stefan and Valerie passing the big ball of yarn. And Alaric yelling for backup.

They keep pointing out that Rayna looks like Elena. It can't be a coincidence. Is she related somehow to the doppelganger situation?

Nisha said...

Great review, thank you!! That Bonnie/Damon non-goodbye scene practically tore my heart from my chest. Kat Graham is so talented, I love that we're seeing so much dimension to Bonnie's character the past couple seasons.