by Josie Kafka
Watching The Vampire Diaries is like running into a former flame gone to seed. There are glimpses of what you used to love, but most of your attention is taken up by noticing how far they’ve fallen and how maybe the signs were there all along.
It was a nice treat to see the Miss Mystic Falls pageant again, even though Our Heroes are now way too old to bother with such nonsense. Caroline is always in her element at town events. She and Bonnie looked gorgeous. Everybody did, in fact. Stefan and Damon always look good in their skinny-tie tuxes.
But there’s a lot of backing and forthing in this episode, and I still can’t get a clear sense of where we’re headed. Caroline accused Stefan of hanging out at an event for hormonal teenagers (something he deserves, since he went to high school for, like, a century) while he accused her of trying to relive her “glory days.” Their snark is interesting, as Caroline seems convinced that her “deep and real” love (a phrase she used to describe Damon and Elena) can outlast Stefan’s Ripper phase. So do they both get a free pass on anything that happens in the meantime?
Caroline is committed to him—and she has a plan, of course, to keep his Ripper murders in check—but a one-sided relationship with an inhuman immortal doesn’t sound very promising. There was a nice contrast between her conversations with Stefan and the way Caroline mentored the blonde newbie vamp, just like Stefan used to mentor Caroline. I miss those carefree days.
Bonnie, meanwhile, came back from Paris with a vial of Enzo’s blood: never before has an accessory made me think simultaneously of Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton, and Chekhov’s infamous shotgun.
Bonnie said she would become a vampire for Enzo, which is…um…not quite what I wanted to hear. Maybe she could become a vampire for her own personal reasons? Or to find a loophole in the whole dead Bonnie/alive Elena thing? Could that work—Bonnie dying and coming back to life to revivify Elena? I don’t even remember.
That could solve Damon’s problem: that he can’t let go of Elena. Stefan accused Damon of letting Elena’s memory manipulate him, which is the sort of wooly-headed evil thinking that leads to a big whopping comeuppance at some point. After all, TVD has pushed the idea that Elena made Damon want to be a better manpire for a while now. It looks like his humanity came back at the end of this episode, so cue the tortured flashbacks and pain next Friday night.
Meanwhile, Matt Donovan found the bell. Hooray?
Bites and Pieces:
• Caroline ended the Miss Mystic Falls pageant by claiming there was a gas leak. Isn’t that the excuse they used to empty Mystic Falls a few years ago?
• So, about this Armory Intern who randomly popped up a few weeks ago. How much does he know? Does he know everything? Is getting extra college credit for having what must truly be the worst internship in the world?
• Would Enzo take the cure? (It’s inside Elena, right?) Hmm…
Josie Kafka reviews The Vampire Diaries, Game of Thrones, and various other things that take her fancy. She is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)