by Billie Doux
Rectify is an exceptional series. I'm actually crying as I'm writing this, and not because anything terrible happened in the story. I'm crying because the amazing writing in this episode, as interpreted by Aden Young's performance, made me feel quite deeply what Daniel Holden, a fictional character, must be feeling.
A halfway house, successful or not, can't help but be a purgatory since its very nature is about transitioning between one sort of living and another. But Daniel's previous existence isn't like anyone else's. The other former prisoners interacted with other prisoners. They at least knew for certain whether or not they'd committed a crime. Daniel was alone in a death row cell for over nineteen years waiting to die, unable to see or touch his only friend, who was then taken away from him and executed. There's no halfway house specifically for people who transition from death row back into an actual life, because they don't do that: they die. Daniel didn't die.
Even worse, Daniel still feels that he deserved to be punished, even though he doesn't even know if he killed Hanna or not. Finally! Three seasons of not knowing if Daniel killed Hanna, and we still don't know, but this makes sense of every clue we've gotten so far. And yet, Daniel insisted, he knew, that he didn't rape her. Why doesn't Daniel know if he killed her? If he did it while he was stoned out of his mind, wouldn't that be accidental death, or possibly manslaughter?
That scene where Daniel told group therapist Avery the whole truth about why he was finding it impossible to adjust was so good that I don't think I can heap enough praise on it. All it was was two men sitting in a bland institutional room talking, and I could not stop crying, because Daniel was finally revealing his total self to someone. It was Emmy-worthy, all by itself. And it was finally enough to bring Daniel out of his shell, to admit to how incredibly freaking lonely he feels. He was ready to join in, to interact with Pickle and Nate and Tyrus, ready to play cards instead of hiding in his room reading a book.
Even better, Daniel is now interested in pursuing some form of artistic self-expression. During the blackout at his dull job at the warehouse (gee, no symbolism there) Daniel took a walk and happened upon an artists' cooperative and a woman named Chloe who saw the hunger for beauty in Daniel's soul. I really loved that while Daniel was there, the light went back on (see above re: symbolism). When he returned later and accepted Chloe's invitation, Daniel told her the truth about who he was.
I write and paint, and both forms of self-expression mean a great deal to me. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Daniel could learn to express his rage and pain and his love of beauty and nature through art?
-- Although the cast is the same, the only cast member in this episode was Daniel. There were lots of interesting guest stars, all good, but the standout was Scott Lawrence as Avery, the therapist. You need someone terrific to catch the ball when you're pitching a scene as strong as the one Aden Young gave us. I particularly liked that Daniel finally let go after Avery acknowledged that what Daniel had endured was inhuman.
-- Everyone at the halfway house called Daniel "Dan." In the end, he introduced himself to Chloe as "Daniel."
-- Practice interviews. It's true that it's easier to accept not getting the job if you look at each interview as a learning experience.
-- Daniel noticed some unique metal jewelry created by Chloe when he was at the artists co-op. It was in the shape of a delicate metal tree. That's Daniel. He was twisted and stretched, but he's still strong and beautiful.
-- I loved what Daniel said about feeling like he was in the middle of the existential play, No Exit. "Hell is other people."
-- Daniel got a letter. Who was it from? Let it be Tawney.
-- In this week's hair report, Daniel is much hairier than we left him last season. It looks good on him, though.
Maggie: "Dan's one of our many success stories."
Daniel: "I'd call it more a work in progress.
Daniel: "I just saw you with the bird and was just..."
Daniel: "More curious."
Chloe: "Like train wreck curious?"
Daniel: "If a train wreck is absurd."
Pickle: "To some degree, we got to be our brother's keeper."
Daniel: "When you are alone with yourself all the time, with no one but yourself, you go deeper and deeper into yourself until you lose yourself. It's a perverse contradiction."
I wanted to transcribe pretty much everything he said, but I stopped myself. It means less when Aden Young isn't saying it. Okay, maybe one more.
Daniel: "I think, therefore I am. I think too much, therefore I am not. I am not, therefore I am nothing. I am nothing, therefore I am dead. And if I am dead, then why am I still so goddamn lonely?"
Wonderful, moving, beautifully acted. Four out of four works in progress,
Billie Doux loves quality television and spends way too much time writing about it.