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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Failed Experiments

He was determined to make someone
pay for The Mummy Returns
"Only billionaires can build iron suits. Only the military can make super soldiers. Which can only lead to a war of its own.”

Jeez, could Marvel be any less subtle with their product integration?

When you get right down to it almost all live action superhero stories follow the exact same plot, which goes a little something like this: Evil bad guy, likely played by respected British actor, hatches evil scheme. Good guy, likely played by someone named Chris, tries to discover what evil scheme is. Good guy discovers evil bad guy's evil scheme, tries to stop it before it starts, and fails. Good guy mopes while evil bad guy puts evil scheme into motion. Good guy gets pep talk from love interest/family member/ghost of dead parent/Samuel L. Jackson and stops evil bad guy's evil scheme before it is completed. The End. Followed by post credits scene to set up the sequel.

This plot is best suited to two hour movies, not 22 episode television series. One way to make it work is if you balance out the arc plot with the occasional case of the week episode. But Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. left them behind way back in season one. Everything is story arc 24/7 now. Which is not a bad thing, when you are doing it right. Sadly, this show is not doing it right. So we were subject to another episode where the main story only took a single, very small, step forward and previously intelligent characters turned into complete morons.

It is difficult to tell who were the bigger idiots this week. It was pretty much a three way tie between Lincoln, Hive, and Coulson. Lincoln's idiocy was at least in character. He's been an imbecile all season, it wouldn't make sense for him to change now. I half expected Simmons to open up his head and find nothing inside. But Hive and Coulson are supposed to be smart, and yet both of their plans in this episode were so half baked the judges would chase them off The Great British Bake Off before the first round was even finished.

"This plan has more holes in it than a Madeira cake."
Coulson's plan to kill Hive was nothing more than shoot first and hope for the best. What's worse is he had his agents open fire with regular guns. S.H.I.E.L.D. has access to some of the most advanced weaponry on the planet and they went after Hive with something you can buy at Walmart. If they want us to remain invested in this series they need to stop making the heroes look as competent as Keystone Cops.

I'm really starting to lose all interest in Hive, both as a villain and as a story arc. I've always felt that in order for a villain to be effective they need to be either scary, interesting or likeable. Hive is currently none of these. Whatever initial creepiness he had has now worn off. As a character there isn't anything at all interesting or distinctive about him. And likeable? No way, quite the opposite in fact. Hive takes previously likeable characters, such as Daisy, and makes them completely unbearable.

I know I shouldn't be too hard on Daisy, she is being controlled by an alien-created parasite, but she is just so annoying right now. And she hurt Mack! No one should be allowed to hurt Mack, either physically or emotionally. He must be kept somewhere safe and away from harm. Somewhere with puppies and unlimited wifi where no one can hurt him, or his extra muscles, ever again.

Intel and Assets

--Can Lincoln be the agent who dies? I am so done with that guy's martyr complex.

--Alisha's death was just pathetic. Why did she go after the reaper with just one duplicate? That made no sense.

--Is anyone else wondering if Hive was the original Black Panther?

Coulson: "None of this adds up."

Simmons: "I had to shoot him three times just to shut him up."
Fitz: "Bet that felt good."
Simmons: "Yeah, it did."

May: "The last time you helped wasn't helpful."

Two out of four Madeira cakes
Mark Greig is the prince that was promised. More Mark Greig


  1. This episode was aptly titled since it applies to both the story line and the episode. It was so frustrating, because it went nowhere! I agree with your take on Hive. Just boring, not scary or likeable or even hate-able. Daisy is just acting like a spoiled child. They did great things with Mack, Simmons, Fitz and May as always. It's time to take out Hive and move on!!

  2. I agree about the structure of the show. Everyone gives lip service to helping people, but we don't see many examples of how people are helped. It makes it tough to argue with the whole idea that SHIELD is intended for war.

    Mack was awesome this episode, he looked like a hurt puppy.

    Am I alone in kind of liking James?

  3. > Why did she go after the reaper with just one duplicate?

    I think, she only had three, and two of them were killed — one by another one, another one by Coulson. I'm unclear as to how it works, and I've never been really interested in her character, but it seems that duplicates can be killed.

  4. The show never really established the specifics of her powers, migmit, but she did have more than three duplicates. One was killed by Lash earlier in the season.

  5. Lincoln has had his death telepgraphed so I don't think it will be him. I want it to be him even if I loved the actor on "Spartacus."
    I just hope it's not Mack. Yo-Yo has had a cute flirt with Mack so she's hardly safe. Whedon and co love that sort of a thing..
    Hive is beyond dull, and I'm so ready for Daisy to break free..come on girl..

  6. "This plan has more holes in it than a Madeira cake." Lol, Mark.

    Yeah, maybe not the greatest episode. Daisy is bugging me. And how dare they hurt Mack. No one can hurt Mack.


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