Star Trek The Next Generation: Firstborn

"As time passes, a boy inevitably becomes a man but what is not inevitable is that a man becomes a sword."

'Firstborn' is the final instalment of the ongoing saga that is Worf being a terrible father. At least, it is the final instalment on Next Gen. The saga would continue over on Deep Space Nine for another four years of neglectful parenting.

Because Klingon biology is weird, five-year-old Alexander is now at the age where he must take part in the first Rite of Ascension. That's the one where you light a candle to show your commitment to becoming a warrior, not the one where they jab you with pain sticks. That's the second Rite of Ascension (I wonder if the third one is the one where you turn into a giant snake?). Unfortunately for Worf, Alexander isn't interested in becoming a warrior. This is of course a big no no for a Klingon. All Klingons have to become warriors. You really have to wonder how their entire society even functions when everyone is shamed into getting the exact same job. If the toilet breaks do they just have to learn to live with the smell because Klingons do not become plumbers?

I can't really blame Alexander for having no interest in all this Klingon stuff because Klingon stuff is so bloody boring. It's just the same old nonsense again and again about duty and honour and bloody Kahless. Are there no other famous figures in Klingon history? Imagine if we went into outer space and just never shut the fuck up about Julius Caesar to every species we encountered?

Like all the other Alexander episodes that came before it, 'Firstborn' fails to make me care about this annoying little brat or his troubled relationship with his obviously reluctant father. For three seasons now we've had to endure the same old boring routine of Worf wanting Alexander to be a well behaved Klingon son, Alexander just wanting to play and have fun like all the other kids that really shouldn't be on a starship, and their inevitable fights and make ups that are forgotten about whenever the writers could be bothered to remember they lumbered Worf with a son. Even the ending of this episode, which makes it look like Worf will finally get his act together and be a good dad by accepting his son for who is, ultimately gets scrapped by his eventual move to DS9.

And then there's that final last minute shocker, which is the worst kind of twist as it comes out of nowhere and makes hardly any sense. See, it turns out that K'Mtar is actually future Alexander who has come back in time to make himself a warrior so he can save his father from being assassinated in the future. Of course, what he really should've done was make himself smarter so he wouldn't come up with such a dumb plan in the first place. You have time travel, you moron. Just go back and save your father yourself. Kill the assassins before they strike. God, no wonder your father abandons you again after this show is done.

Notes and Quotes 

--Picard only appears in one scene because Patrick Stewart was busy hosting Saturday Night Live.

--K'Mtar was played by James Sloyan who previously played Alidar Jarok in 'The Defector' and Dr. Mora Pol on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He would later play Jetrel in the episode of the same name on Star Trek: Voyager.

--Future Alexander's explanation for how he came back in time is that he... met a guy. Is the future just full of random helpful time travellers?

--Barbara March, who played Lursa, sadly passed away last month.

--K'Mtar threatens to use Klingon law to take custody of Alexander, but how would that even work since Alexander is obviously a Federation citizen?

--The crew contact DS9 to get a lead on the Duras sisters and for some reason talk to Quark. I mean, wouldn't Odo make more sense? He's chief of security and usually well informed on what shady characters are up to. Also, why is Quark under armed guard while he Skypes with Riker?


K'mtar: "Finish him!"
--He didn't become a warrior, but he obviously played a lot of Mortal Kombat.

Worf: "This was dropped by one of the assassins. It bears the crest of your house."
Lursa: "Someone must have given it to the assassins to implicate us."
Troi: "Why would someone do that?"
B'Etor: "In order to tarnish our good name."
Worf: "You cannot tarnish a rusted blade."

Quark: "Lursa and B'Etor – big talk, small tips."

Two out of four giant snakes.

Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011 More Mark Greig

1 comment:

Billie Doux said...

Well, not the best Klingon episode. The gathering on the planet felt like Klingon Ren Fair, or possibly activities at a Star Trek convention. Honestly, what I liked best was the photo of Keylar, whose name I could never spell. It probably would have been best if she had lived and raised Alexander.

(I wonder if the third one is the one where you turn into a giant snake?). lol, Mark. Especially since one of that snake's victims was actually in this episode.