Predator (1987)

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

The 1980s was an age of big men with big guns killing lots of people. The action icons of the decade were guys who spent more time in the gym than in acting class, and the undisputed king of these muscled killing machines was the future Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger (sorry, Sly).

Includes spoilers!

After making his name as a body builder, Schwarzenegger spent over a decade trying to establish himself as a film star. He finally found success in 1982 with Conan the Barbarian and then The Terminator two years later. His early films took full advantage of his main strength (his impressive build) while avoiding his main weakness by giving him as little dialogue as possible, usually just a pithy one-liner when he kills someone. By the time he came to make Predator he hadn't so much matured as an actor, but at least become more natural at it, capable of handling more lines, while also perfecting his on-screen persona. He was also savvier than his contemporaries in picking projects that would not only turn a nice profit, but also end up being really damn good.

At first glance, Predator just seems like your typical 80s dumb action flick as a bunch of muscle men with massive weapons (plus Shane Black) go into some nondescript South American country to kill a load of Communists without getting so much as a scratch (they didn't have time for it). It's pretty much the third act of Commando if Arnold brought along some friends. It is the perfect distillation of everything audiences had come to expect from a Schwarzenegger movie, and the ideal set up for the rest of the movie to completely deconstruct that entire concept, mainly by dropping a great big alien into the mix.

Some would argue that the opening scene spoils the film's big reveal, but I personally think it really adds to the tension. From the moment Dutch and his team are dumped in the jungle we know something nasty is out there waiting for them, and director John McTiernan orchestrates the suspense and slow build up masterfully. Admittedly, that's because he often had no choice. Like Jaws before it, the film's monster caused nothing but problems, forcing the director to shoot around it as much as possible. This resulted in lots of scenes where everyone is staring at the jungle all worried, with the McTiernan squeezing every bit of tension (and sweat) out of these scenes as he can.

Once the intergalactic big game hunter (played by the seven-foot-tall Kevin Peter Hall) makes his presence known it completely upends the film, changing it from a basic shoot 'em up into the best slasher film of the decade (sorry, Freddy). One by one these seeming invincible muscle men are all gruesomely picked off like horny teenagers at a summer camp, their many big guns proving to be utterly useless against this otherworldly foe. Where once they could mow down entire armies with a single clip, now they just fire aimlessly into the jungle, obliterating all before them, and it achives nothing. American ultra masculinity and military might has been rendered utterly impotent.

As with most action movies from that time, the ghost of Vietnam is impossible to ignore. From Aliens to Rambo, a whole generation of filmmakers who had grown up in the shadow of that war were now working through their many issues with it on screen. But unlike Rambo, and despite starring Conan the Republican, this isn't some right wing fantasy about re-fighting and winning the war. Even before the alien shows up, these soldiers are being treated as cannon fodder in another proxy war against communism orchestrated by those lying gits back in Washington. “It's all bullshit!” as Dutch tells Company man Dillon. They're not the heroic rescuers they think they are, just more military thugs there to kill and expand Uncle Sam's global reach. Who would've thought a Schwarzenegger monster movie released at the height of Reaganism would have one of the most cutting condemnations of American foreign policy.

As it enters the third act, Predator shifts gears again and becomes a survivalist drama as Dutch is stripped of his modern weapons and technology and forced to resort to the old ways in order to survive. And it still isn't nearly enough. Unlike some other big action stars I could name, Arnold's ego wasn't so big he was afraid to lose a fight on screen. He repeatedly gets his ass kicked here. Physically, Dutch is just no match for this outer space terror. He defeats him due to a mixture of ingenuity and sheer blind luck, and even then his adversary has the last laugh. Literally. Dutch emerges from this entire ordeal victorious, but not triumphant. Our last shot of him on the chopper is of a visibly shattered and traumatised man. It might just be the best little bit of acting Arnold has done in his entire career.

Notes and Quotes

--Dutch's team is somewhat lacking when it comes to three dimensional characters. They can be easily summed up as stoic Native America tracker, loud mouth redneck, Apollo Creed, etc. But they're still distinctive enough that you can tell them all apart and none of them are forgettable. Except maybe Hawkins, who dies first and never does anything memorable. His sole contribution being uncredited on-set rewrites.

--McTiernan would go on to redefine the action genre with Die Hard, make the best sequel to Die Hard, the best Tom Clancy movie, and the best remake of a Steve McQueen movie. He also directed three of cinema's most infamous flops and served time in prison after committing perjury.

--The Predator was originally meant to be Jean-Claude Van Damme in a silly chicken outfit, but it looked stupid, he got fired and they went back to the drawing board. Eventually they brought onboard the legendary Stan Winston and he produced one of cinema's most iconic (and ugliest) creatures.

The production was a pain for all involved, Schwarzenegger had a particularly rough time shooting the final scenes in the freezing cold. Probably not much of a surprise that he bailed on the sequel.

--The Predator's heat vision POV is an inspired touch, but I do wonder how practical it would really be in a sweltering hot jungle.

--If I had a nickel for every time the future Governor of California starred in a sci-fi action film in 1987 with the future Governor of Minnesota, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Dutch: “GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!!”

Mac: “You're ghostin' us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed ya, real quiet, and leave ya here. Got that?”

Blaine: “I ain't got time to bleed.”

Billy: “I'm scared, Poncho.”
Poncho: “Bullshit. You ain't afraid of no man!”
Billy: “There's something out there waiting for us... and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die.”

Dutch: “You're one... ugly motherfucker!”

Four out of four iconic handshakes.

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Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011 More Mark Greig

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