Movie Review: Hundreds of Beavers

"Well. That's certainly not where I was expecting that to go."
--Me, at every point in this movie.

This review is 100% spoiler free, excepting anything shown in the trailer.

There are some movies that it's probably better to have a drink or two before settling into. Just throwing that out there. Not that this movie isn't equally fun when sober (and believe me, I checked) but because it lends itself so nicely to a slightly goofy frame of mind.

That said...

According to the official log line for the film, the plot can be described thusly:

"In this 19th century, supernatural winter epic, a drunken applejack salesman must go from zero to hero and become North America's greatest fur trapper by defeating hundreds of beavers."

Now, nothing in that description is technically incorrect. Although the use of 'supernatural' is a bit misleading, as what they really mean by it is that at many points in the movie you might think to yourself, 'Um, that's not remotely how nature works.' What we actually get in the movie is so much weirder, so much stranger, and so much better. If I might misquote Russell T. Davies.

Shot entirely in black and white and almost entirely devoid of any intelligible dialogue, at first blush the film seems to be invoking a Buster Keaton/Charlie Chaplin aesthetic. And it certainly is doing that, there's no question. But it's drawing on a lot of other influences as well. Primarily the 1930s Warner Brother cartoons – specifically the Tex Avery/Chuck Jones ones. But also, Indiana Jones. And old school boo/hiss sawmill melodrama. and just a dash of Tarantino. And so much more.

In many ways it's a difficult movie to review because, as it's a slapstick comedy, the only real yardstick that matters is, 'Did it make you laugh?' And since comedy is notoriously subjective, all I can tell you is that it made me full on belly laugh to the point of what might be justifiably termed a 'guffaw' at least once every two and a half minutes. But I can't tell you why, because the surprises are what makes it funny, and I'm resolutely determined not to spoil the jokes here.

So, here are the things that work here which appear in the trailer, and so I can talk about:

Firstly, the main character of the film is the delightfully named Jean Kayak, played by the equally delightfully named Ryland Brickson Cole Tews. Mr. Tews (possibly Mr. Cole Tews...? You know what, I'm just going to call him Ryland) has a laser precise sense of comic timing which is much more difficult to pull off than it looks. Particularly because a lot of the comedy in slapstick is dependent on it looking like you aren't trying at all. The majority of the gags in this film land because he makes them land. Also, he repeatedly finds plot related reasons to take all of his clothes off, which did not go unappreciated.

Secondly, whoever made the decision that all of the animals in the movie would be played by actors in what amounts to college mascot costumes is a comic genius. Indeed, if you look up the cast on IMDb, all of the actors playing animals are listed as 'Mascot,' which shows that it was a deliberate choice.

So, we have beavers that, if attacked, are much more likely to push you down and kick you in the balls than they are to bite. While I acknowledge that your mileage may vary, speaking solely for myself that never stopped being funny. To say nothing of the wolves, bunnies, sled dogs, and raccoons, all of which also exist in a nebulous zone somewhere between acting like actual animals and acting like people wearing furry costumes. It's a strange and enjoyable vibe for them to have and it works for the film better than it has any right to do.

And thirdly... that's actually it. There's nothing else that I can tell you about this movie without ruining it for you. Just know that however weird you're expecting it to get, wherever you think the plot is going at any given moment, you're wrong. It's going to be so much better.

Bits and Pieces:

-- The same crew that made this made an earlier film called Lake Michigan Monster. I haven't seen it yet, but I definitely will track it down.

-- Interestingly enough, the most common question found on the internet regarding Hundreds of Beavers is, 'Does... Does this movie actually exist??' And, fair enough, when you watch the trailer, that is the first question that leaps to mind. Fortunately for us all, it does.

-- This isn't technically a silent movie, as you hear various noises communicating feelings of various characters throughout. And there's a song set to a cartoon in the beginning explaining how Jean Kayak used to own an apple orchard and made applejack whiskey before his operation was destroyed by beavers. Outside of that, literally the only intelligible dialogue in the entire movie is a beaver shouting 'J'Accuse!!' We don't deserve this movie.

Quotes:

Beaver: "J'Accuse!!"

Seriously, we as a people do not deserve this movie.

Directed by Mike Cheslik and written by Mike Cheslik and my close personal friend Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, Hundreds of Beavers is available to stream on Amazon Prime, Tubi, Pluto, Sling, and pretty much everywhere else. Honestly, they clearly just want you to be able to watch this movie, since they've obviously poured their hearts and souls into it.

Tomorrow, when you go to work, be able to walk up to your coworkers and proudly declare, 'Last night – I saw Hundreds of Beavers! And then just walk away.

I could not recommend this more highly.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, retired firefighter, and roughly 78% water. You can find more of his work at the 42nd Vizsla. If you'd like to see his raw notes for this and other reviews, you can find them at What Was Mikey Thinking. Although he didn't take any notes on this one because he was too busy laughing..

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