Stargate (1994)

“What a rush.”

I'll start by stating the obvious. The TV show is better. So much better.

That's not to say the movie is without its charms, but watching it now always feels like viewing some awkward work in progress version of the thing you actually know and love. The names are right (though not the spelling), but these don't look like the characters I know, they don't sound like them, they don't act like them, and where the hell are Sam and Teal'c? It just isn't Stargate if Sam isn't there to confuse Jack with technobabble while Teal'c raises an eyebrow. And what's with all these sunny desert vistas? Where are those trusty damp Canadian forests?

Anyway, say hello to Dr. Daniel Jackson (James Spader), an archaeologist with wild theories about who built the pyramids that have him laughed at by the rest of the scientific community. For whatever reason, the Air Force decides he's the right man to help them crack the problem of translating some Egyptian hieroglyphs. He's out of work and grant money so takes the job, not bothering to ask too many questions about why the Air Force wants these Egyptian hieroglyphs translated. Jackson is one of those movie scientists the writers try to look really smart mostly by making everyone around them seem really dumb. His big realisation is to notice that one of the symbols on the cover stones looks like the Orion constellation, but it looks so obviously like Orion that any idiot with even the most basic knowledge of the night's sky could tell it's Orion. So Jackson figuring it out doesn't make him look like a genius, it makes everyone else who worked on this project for two years look like complete morons.

Since he figured out what the symbols (obviously) mean that finally allows the Air Force to use the Stargate, an ancient circular device that enables interstellar travel. At this point any sane person would use probes to gather as much data as possible to work out exactly what is on the other side of the gate and how to get home any team they send there. But that would be boring, so the military brass just take Jackson at his word about getting everyone home and greenlight a recon mission, led by Col. Jack O'Neil (Kurt Russell), so we can get to the adventure and fight the alien bad guy as soon as possible.

It still surprises me that this film eventually became a popular long running franchise, albeit one that has sadly been stuck in limbo for the last decade because the rights holders have no clear idea what to do with it. I watched it when it first came out and my initial reaction was “Yeah, that was alright.” It satisfied my craving for big budget sci-fi adventure, but didn't do much else. I wasn't desperate for a sequel and was only mildly curious when I found out they were turning it into a TV series.

The key thing to understand about Stargate: The Motion Picture is that it's a crappy (but enjoyable) b-movie made by men (Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin) who specialise in crappy (but enjoyable) b-movies, but also somehow have been able to convince others to spend more money than anyone ever really should on crappy b-movies. Even making Godzilla wasn't enough to put people off investing in their movies. I guess when you deliver a colossal hit like Independence Day it gives you a hell of a lot of good will.

Emmerich and Devlin tapped into the public's growing fascination at the time with aliens and conspiracy theories about aliens, which helped turn a show like The X-Files into a cultural phenomenon. One of the most popular theories back then was that the pyramids had been built by aliens, something we now dismiss as not only ludicrous, but borderline racist. But the filmmakers obviously didn't care about all that stuff; if they did this film wouldn't be plagued by many of the genre's more unpleasant tropes like how the team only has one black guy who dies early on, or how the whole thing is just one big white saviour narrative about a primitive and ignorant non-white culture being saved from tyranny thanks to the aid of all these white Americans. The producers saw this as Lawrence of Arabia in space, and it isn't at all surprising that they had a very basic understanding of what Lawrence of Arabia is actually about. After all, it is foolish to expect nuanced storytelling from the people who made The Patriot.

For a film that is over 30 years old it holds up surprisingly well. The CGI is obviously of its time, but the film wisely doesn't go all in on it and stretch it beyond its capabilities. What doesn't hold up so well is the action. The climatic battle is kinda meh, you really get a sense that they were reaching the limits of their budget at that point (Ra only seems to have three or four guards) and couldn't really do anything more elaborate than stick a load of people in a circle and have them shoot up at the sky while Russell has a fist fight indoors.

If Stargate had been made decades earlier it probably would've starred Doug McClure; you may remember him from such films as The Bloody Vultures of Alaska and Humanoids from the Deep. But he was out of the leading man game by the 90s so instead it stars Russell, Hollywood's most successful, charismatic and beloved b-movie actor. He's mostly cast against type as a humourless military stiff with a traumatic past, something Russell's natural charm is constantly fighting against throughout the whole movie. James Spader is also cast against type as a loveable dorky scientist, the type of guy who takes a moment before entering the gate to appreciate the sheer wonder of what is happening. It is just weird seeing him play someone who isn't slimy or creepy in the slightest.

Notes and Quotes

--The director's cut adds a couple of scenes that really don't feel needed.

--It is never made clear how they know that you can travel one way through the gate or even how they dial the gate on the other side.

--Ra is such a cliched villain who only speaks in cliches like “I will not accept failure.”

--Jack says they have seven mins before the bomb goes off. Ten minutes later the bomb goes off.

--Jaye Davidson disliked all the attention he got after starring in The Crying Game and was reluctant to star in this film. Not wanting to just dismiss the offer outright, he demanded a $1 million fee expecting the producers to say no. To his surprise, they agreed. He quit acting not long after the film came out.

--This was David Arnold's big break as a film composer and he would go on to score Emmerich and Devlin's next two films. His theme would continue to be used for the TV series.

--Ra was originally a human for aliens, essentially a middle manager, but after poor test screenings, it was decided to make him an alien possessing a human instead and his glowing-eyes and deep voice were added in post-production.

--Djimon Hounsou has a small role as one of Ra's guards.

O'Neil: “Give my regards to King Tut, asshole.”

Johnson: “Once on the other side, we'd have to decipher the markings on their 'gate, and in essence dial home in order to bring the team back.”
West: “Based on this new information, I don't see how we can do that.”
Jackson: “Well, I can do that.”
West: “Are you sure?”
Jackson: “Positive.”
O'Neil: “He's full of shit.”

O'Neil: “I guess the word dweeb doesn't mean anything to you guys, does it?”

Two and a half out of four Doug McClures.

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Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011 More Mark Greig

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