by Billie Doux
Angel: "Is this kid a chip off the old block, or what?"
Cordelia in white ascending into the heavens, Angel in black descending helplessly into the ocean's depths, and neither of them reachable by cell phone? Metaphor anvils, anyone?
Connor is more like Angel -- actually more like Angelus -- than we all expected. Teach me how to fight like you do, Dad? It was like taking candy from a baby getting under Angel's guard, because Angel wanted it so badly. Eternity on a liquid diet, watching the fish swim by? Gee, I sure wouldn't want Connor mad at me.
What's this Cordelia ascension thing coming out of left field? Don't tell me Charisma Carpenter is leaving the show; I like Cordelia, damn it, she's important to the group dynamic, or what's left of it. Or did the PTB decide not to pursue the Angel/Cordelia thing? All that build-up and no double demon smoochies?
I dare say that if Wesley had still been with Angel Investigations, this whole Angel-at-the-bottom-of-the-sea thing might not have happened. Let me add that I would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall during that Wesley/Lilah sexual tryst; must have been really interesting. Lilah has pretty much carried the Wolfram & Hart subplots this year, and she did rather well. Especially in the last few.
There were several cool moments in this episode. I liked Fred poking Angel with a stake. I especially liked Groo and Lorne enlightening Angel and Cordelia simultaneously about their feelings. Angel forgiving Connor as Connor was welding him in was rather touching, too; I'm glad he did it. But as a whole, after an exciting year, this season-ender didn't quite satisfy. With Lorne leaving for Vegas (no!!!), Groo giving up on Cordelia and taking off, and Connor and Justine possibly off on a summer-long vampire-killing spree, what do we have left now? The Fred and Gunn show?
Bits and pieces:
-- Schlug-tee is tense neck muscles. I've always wondered what to call them.
-- Lorne called Angel "bubelah" and "Angel-hair."
-- This year, Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters have grown way too thin, while David Boreanaz and Charisma Carpenter have done the opposite. Almost as if the pounds crept across the networks from UPN to the WB.
-- Tuna and ice cream. Gahhh. I'm glad they didn't kill off Groo; he groo on me.
-- That silly mirror on the wall thing in Cordelia's apartment was actually a flash-forward to her conversation with Skip. Didn't catch that the first time I watched.
-- Connor is sixteen? Come to think of it, Angel was actually dating a sixteen-year-old not that long ago. Talk about irony.
-- Angel has his favorite books from when he was sixteen? Why do I have trouble believing that? He didn't seem like the reading kind; he seemed like the hanging out in a pub getting sloshed kind. Plus, back then, his choices would have been seriously limited; reading didn't become popular with the masses until the mid-1800s.
Cordelia: "Kind of looks like muddy water."
Groo: "Yes. The mud gives it body and flavor. Of course, there is no plock weed in this dimension, so I made do with creeping fig and some cress in the garden. Though it is not true Mock-Na, it is very close to the real thing."
Cordelia: "So it's mock Mock-Na."
Cordelia: "Well, that's, ah... I mean, I can feel the tension draining already. And a little sediment going down the wrong... (Coughs a little then smiles at him brightly) Hmm, tasty."
Groo: "And might I further relieve you by at first gently then more rapidly rubbing your schlug-tee?"
Angel: "I don't even own a TV. He's going to want to watch TV. Not too much, I mean, after homework and chores. He's gonna need clothes, weekly allowance... What's good nowadays? Fifty cents, a dollar?"
Cordelia: "Yeah. If you're Tom Sawyer painting the fence."
Angel: "Me. A vampire."
Cordelia: "You, a vampire."
Angel: "Who drinks blood, keeps to the shadows, and is older than everybody he knows put together."
Cordelia: "You're all those things, plus tight with a buck."
Cordelia: "Well, what about rebuilding your club here?"
Lorne: "That's a great idea, pixie-cat. Except every time I do, you all seem to destroy it."
Cordelia: "It was only three times."
Lilah: "Mind if I join you?"
Wesley: "On many levels and with great intensity."
Cordelia: "I'm not telling your sixteen year old boy that."
Angel: "Well, someone has to make sure he knows the facts of life. My track record with the whole man/woman thing isn't, you know... I don't want to use the words 'tragic farce' but..."
Fred: "I want to be the vampire!"
Gunn: "I want to be in a hot tub."
Cordelia: "I want to know who's cleaning this stuff up."
Angel: (points at Fred) "Okay. Vampire."
(Fred raises her hands like claws and lets out a growl.)
Angel: "Vampire. You're not in 'Cats'."
Cordelia: "Hi, honey. It's me! And I got your favorites, tuna and ice cream. How about tonight you try not mixing it together?"
Angel: "Yeah. I'm taking the kid to the movies. He's going to love it."
Lorne: "Oh. No subtitles or dreary Leitmotive, all bloody action?"
Angel: "You bet."
Lorne: "Oh, he'll love you for it."
Gunn: "He's whistling. I've never heard him whistle."
Fred: "He's happy."
Angel: (to phone) "Angel Investigations. We can help you. I know we can!"
Gunn: "Now he's humming."
Fred: "He's really happy. (pokes Angel with a stake) But not perfectly happy, I hope."
Angel: "No. Ouch."
Fred: "Just checking."
Wesley: "You know that sinking feeling you sometimes get the morning after? It arrived early."
Wesley: "Get out."
Lilah: "What? No sweet kiss? No 'when can I see you again?' (Wesley gives her a look) Watch the dirty looks. That's what got me going in the first place."
Lilah: "Don't be thinking about me when I'm gone."
Wesley: "I wasn't thinking about you when you were here."
Skip: "Power corrupts. And they gave you a lot of power."
Cordelia: "The glowy thing."
Skip: "Which you used well. To fight evil, and heal Connor."
Cordelia: "And only that one time as a night light."
Some clever lines and plot twists, but I still found this episode mildly disappointing. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted, but this wasn't it.
Three out of four stakes,