by Billie Doux
Geez, don't destroy the fans with a killer cliffhanger or anything, huh?
After Jesse scammed Walt so brilliantly, I kept thinking Walt would figure it out -- but no. And then I thought Walt would get away from Hank and Gomez somehow -- but no. And then Walt was actually under arrest and Hank had gleefully Mirandized him, and I thought, how is Walt going to get out of this? Could Saul possibly find a way to get Walt out on bail?
So I was starting to think that Hank had actually won, right up until he called Marie with the news and he told her he loved her, and I went, "Noooooo!" They couldn't have signaled any more clearly that Hank and Gomez were toast. And a moment later, the neo-Nazi gang showed up with assault rifles. I honestly didn't think they would still come after Walt told them not to. But of course they came. They need Walt to cook for them.
If you've managed to live in this world without ever seeing Star Trek, there's this thing where crew members wearing red shirts tend to get killed, especially after beaming down to desert-like alien planets. Hank and Gomez were both wearing reddish shirts. I don't see any way they could live through this, since the Uncle Jack gang were completely ignoring Walt screaming at them to stop.
So Hank and Gomez are unlikely to survive. I'm not sure about Jesse, though. He was furthest away and was obviously contemplating a strategic withdrawal, and as we know full well, yeah bitch, Jesse is smarter than people give him credit for. The fake barrel full of money was a terrific idea. So was the photo of Jesse "dead" next to the brains and blood, although that might have been Hank's idea. (Loved Marie finding the brains in the garbage. This week's Most Obvious Symbolism, because obviously, no one thought through what might happen in the middle of nowhere when drugs and big money are involved.)
That Walt/Jesse scene during the arrest was intense. Walt called Jesse a coward, and Jesse spit on Walt. We've had five seasons of Walt and Jesse hanging in together, no matter what. And now Jesse has allied with the DEA, and Walt is paying a Nazi to kill Jesse. It was inevitable, I suppose. 'To'hajiilee' is where Walt and Jesse did their first cook. Full circle.
So -- about the opener. I didn't think Todd could get any creepier, but the way he was all over Lydia practically made me gag. He even drank from her mug right where the lipstick mark was. She was working him too, fluttering her lashes and acting all seductive, probably hoping that the sexy might make Todd try harder to bake the meth blue. Is Todd fantasizing about sleeping with Lydia, killing her, or possibly both?
Todd's days are numbered. He can't even make tea, much less master Walt's recipe for meth. I doubt that even extensive coaching from Walt will help. If the neo-Nazis manage to kill Jesse, that is, since that was Walt's price. I haven't forgotten the season opener, with future Walt acquiring guns. Is he coming back to kill Uncle Jack and the gang, perhaps?
-- The opening scene was of liquid glass meth that was not blue. In the middle of the episode, after agreeing to cook one more time, Walt started wearing a blue shirt again. And there was a shot of "blue sky" over Hank's head in his first scene.
-- Saul was wearing a bullet-proof vest. Todd put on a white bullet-proof vest. Please tell me Gomez and Hank were wearing vests. Please. Of course, that won't help if they get their heads shot off. And now I'm thinking about the brains on the floor.
-- Walt Junior was learning the car wash business, sort of like Todd learning the blue meth business. Junior was doing just a bit better than Todd. He seemed a bit star struck at meeting Saul, whose billboard is featured near the A1A Car Wash; it was visible during the Walt/Saul conversation.
-- That sequence with Walt driving at top speed through red lights and around trucks was very edge-of-your-seat. I kept expecting him to crash.
-- Hank was carrying the Hello Kitty cell phone. Does he still have it on him? Was Walt's confession to several murders recorded?
-- Uncle Jack is so tough that Todd suggested Jack go talk to Lydia's buyers. (In the Czech Republic?) And Jack is so tough that he took off his gas mask and breathed toxic fumes; no sissy filtered air for him. Unfortunately, he did not promptly fall over and die. He did it so he could go grab a smoke. Geez, no symbolism there.
-- Kenny, one of the Uncle Jack gang, is played by Kevin Rankin, who wore similar Nazi tatts in his role as Devil on Justified.
-- By using Andrea to set up Jesse, Walt again endangered Brock. And he didn't think twice about doing it.
-- Last week, Jesse finally got a scene with Marie. This week, Junior got a scene with Saul. It's a little like loose-end-tying.
-- What did Walt do with the lottery ticket? I don't suppose it's important now.
Kenny: "That dude who looked like Wolverine? He couldn't crack 70."
Todd: "I think I might have cooked the color right out of it."
Lydia: "You burned it. Like a cake."
Gomez: "You said it yourself. There's no GPS on the van."
Hank: "Yeah. But Walt doesn't know that."
Sigh. Such a good plan.
Walt: (to Saul) "Your phone broken? All 200 of them?"
Jesse: "Got my photo, bitch?"
Four out of four photos, bitch,
Billie Doux is the founder of Doux Reviews and has been reviewing her favorite shows for quite some time. More Billie Doux.