by Mark Greig
Oh dear god, was this episode dull. It may be early days, but I am confidently going to proclaim this will be the worst episode of season four, maybe even one of the worst episodes of Lost Girl ever.
How bad was this episode? Really bad. Agonisingly bad. I mean, there wasn't even any Kenzi. That’s a major failing right there. No good can ever come from any episode that doesn’t have the god damn sense to include at least a minimum of two Kenzi scenes. It was so bad that I am not going to talk about it any longer and will just skip to the end. Which, alas, involved Bo killing poor Clio. I think. It wasn’t really made clear what Bo did to her. She could’ve just been knocked out, but it does look like she was killed. Which is a shame because I liked her. Why is it Mia Kirshner seems to die in every show I see her in? The only one where she didn’t die was 24, which is mightily impressive when you think about it because everyone dies on 24. Even Jack Bauer died at one point.
To be fair to Bo, Clio did betray her and Dyson and was going to hand her over to Vex. Still, it was surprisingly ruthless of Bo to just kill her. Bo has never been shy about killing but it has also never been something she does willy nilly. Her time away seems to have made her a more ruthless succubus. What happened to her while she was away? I doubt she spent all the time sleeping on the train. Are we finally going to get the Dark Bo they’ve been hinting at for so long this season? Probably not. It looked like they were going in that direction last season before all that Dawning crap came along and messed everything up.
I’ll admit that the episode wasn’t all bad. Whenever it took us away from that dreary central storyline things did pick up a little. As revealed last week, the Morrigan has escaped and is now hanging around Lauren's apartment, melting handymen, threatening Massimo, getting manicures and looking great with an eye-patch. I do wish she had got to keep it for a little longer. It was a great look for her. Then again everything is a great look for her.
I hope Lauren (or whatever her real name is) appreciates irony because she just got well and truly spy banged. Is that really irony or is it more like karma? Whatever, moving on. In all honesty, Lauren should've seen this coming a mile off. When someone answers their door dressed like this:
Then there is a good chance they have ulterior motives. Then again when someone answers their door dressed like that higher brain function goes out of the window. Seriously, though, who just hangs around their home dressed like that? Okay, probably Bo. In fact, definitely Bo.
Now that we know for certain that Crystal is working for someone (although reluctantly by the sound of it), the question remains who? I don’t think it is the Una Mens. Duplicity doesn’t seem their style (they seem more a torture and death sort of bunch). If they knew where Lauren was they would’ve just gone in and grabbed her, not got her laid. I also doubt it’s the Wanderer either. That leaves only one possible suspect – Mensa. Come on, they’ve got to want to get their hands on Lauren’s big brain before that wig consumes it. Will we ever be rid of that ghastly thing? Even a steamy night of passion with Crystal couldn’t dislodge it.
Fae of the Week
Clio friend with the foot fetish, Lazy John, is based on Juan Tamad, a character from Philippine folklore who was notorious for extreme laziness and was indeed buried alive by monkeys.
The Fae spirit haunting the family was a Jumbee, a spirit or demon in the folklore of some Caribbean countries.
Notes and Quotes
--Along with the complete lack of Kenzi (yeah, I am really not letting that go), there was no Tamsin, Trick or Hale this week.
--That Massimo creep sure does get around. So far we’ve seen him making potions for Tamsin, giving Kenzi fake Fae powers and now conjuring up new eyeballs for the Morrigan. Where will he show up next?
--Why was the Morrigan hiding out at Lauren’s apartment? Surely someone like the leader of the Dark Fae has a safe house or two of her own? The only logical explanation for hiding out there is because the show can’t afford to build a new set or rent a location.
Bo: "You have any idea of how sick and tired I am of being double crossed, lied to and generally dicked around? You picked the wrong girl to screw over because I like to make everything personal."
Clio: ”Did I just agree to a threesome?”
Bo: ”Man, can that guy pick a team already?”
Dyson: “You’re one to talk.”
Massimo: "No phone calls, no letters, no correspondence of any kind for five long years and now all of a sudden you can't live without me. What can I say? I'm touched."
The Morrigan: "If there is one thing that life has taught me it is that I can definitely live without you. But I agree. You are touched."
One and a half out of four imperial brown eyes with a slight flare of green in the cornea.
Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011. More Mark Greig.