Home Featured TV Shows All TV Shows Movie Reviews Book Reviews Articles Frequently Asked Questions About Us

Alias: No Hard Feelings

Vaughn: "You know, it's funny. It's the first time I felt Jack accepted me."
Dixon: "Or else he manufactured a very elaborate scheme to postpone your wedding to his daughter."

This episode just flew by. I thought I was ready for The End, but maybe I'm not. And maybe they should have been doing stuff like this sooner.

Another blast from the past. It was so much fun seeing Sydney, Vaughn, and Dixon doing the undercover thing again. And I loved every Sark scene, especially in the prison when he was being cruised by that other inmate who clearly underestimated him. Please tell me Sark is going to be in the finale. And Irina. Then again, I want everyone to be in the finale, and I know there won't be time.

Rambaldi, our own little DaVinci Code. "The circle will be complete when the Chosen One finds the Rose in San Cielo." He didn't look rosy to me; he looked like Vincent Price. I thought for a moment that he was Rambaldi himself, although I almost immediately realized that a dead genius megalomaniac like Rambaldi wouldn't be hanging around in a dank basement, even to fulfill a prophecy.

So. "His greatest gift and also his greatest curse." "Defiance of the natural order." "End of nature." "Until the stars fall from the sky. Until the end of light." Everything the Rose said until the last part made it sound like Rambaldi's end game was immortality. Will immortality cause the end of the world? Apocalypse, anyone?

I honestly thought Sloane knew Sydney was Sydney and not Anna, especially when he observed that Anna wasn't acting like a Rambaldi acolyte. I mean, he knows Sydney so well, he was the original target of her double-agent-ness. And hey, evil genius? At least we know that Sloane loves Sydney enough to kill her murderer with his bare hands. I also noticed that Sydney appeared to take some serious glee in telling Sloane about how she killed herself.

Vaughn said to Sydney at one point, "I don't know how we do this any more." Our characters have grown up; this life is getting to be too much for them. Time for the next generation, Tom and Rachel, to take over and make the world safe for Isabelle. But couldn't they do it when the series is over? For me, this episode sparkled with Sark, but dragged with our newbie agents. And we still haven't gotten to the Cardinal part. If Tom isn't a secret evil Rambaldi genius, I wish they'd spent the time concentrating on the original cast.

Man, the end of a show that tends to kill people off can be nerve-wracking. I kept expecting someone to die – especially Vaughn – and I'm worried that the finale will be a bloodbath. That Sydney-and-Vaughn-and-baby-makes-three ending was too soon, with the two hour finale still to come. I hope they're just playing with us. Is a happy ending too much to ask for?

Bits and pieces:

— When you're initially arrested, don't you go down to a police station of sorts? Who just gets thrown into a maximum security prison?

— The all important chips inside of Renee and Vaughn don't appear to be important now.

— Yeah, I want Marshall guiding me through traffic and changing lights to green for me. It would make LA a lot more bearable. Except why didn't Vaughn just break the law?

— Rachel can fix a car. Tom cannot fix a car. A little sex role reversal there.

— Did Vaughn just kill an innocent prison guard?

— If there is ever an Alias spinoff, I want Sark, not Tom and Rachel. Just so we're clear.


Marshall: "You know, I cried at your funeral."
Vaughn: "Uh, yeah. Uh, sorry about that."

Sydney: "It's this body. I have this uncontrollable urge now to act like a girl scout all the time."

Sydney: "Did she just..."
Jack: "Giggle? Yeah. Apparently I'm funny."

Dixon: "Hey."
Vaughn: "Hey."
Dixon: "You're shorter than I remember."

Sark: "Lucky for you I won't be here for long. Otherwise, I'd pull out your tongue and choke you with it."

Inmate: "Help! The beautiful man is dying!"

Vaughn: "You're going to be just like your mom, aren't you?"
Sydney: "I hope not. I hope she's a doctor or a teacher or just anything that does not involve wearing a wig."

This week's...

... itinerary: Hamburg, Zurich, Rome, and a dank basement in Italy.

... language skills: Sydney and Sark made big with the Italian.

... No hot looks this week. But I fully expect to see a magenta wig in the finale.

Four stars for Sark, Sydney, Dixon, and Vaughn working together, and all the fun with Rambaldi. Two for the Tom/Rachel scenes.

Does that make three, or three and a half?

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.

1 comment:

  1. Billie, I agree with you in this: “If there is ever an Alias spinoff, I want Sark, not Tom and Rachel.” Yes! I love Sark! Too bad he's one of the bad guys! I hope they don't kill him in the last episode!


We love comments! We moderate because of spam and trolls, but don't let that stop you! It’s never too late to comment on an old show, but please don’t spoil future episodes for newbies.