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Smallville: Hydro

Clark: "If she marries Lex, there's no going back."

Let's start with the major development first, i.e., that Lois and Clark smooch. That shot of Clark's face afterward implied that he was turned on. And my favorite scene was definitely when Lois said dreamily that "Green Arrow" kissed better than Oliver, and Chloe couldn't contain her glee. So I'm a romantic. Sue me.

The other thing I loved about this one was Chloe getting caught in the middle of all of the secrets she's been keeping. And now she has another one: she knows who Green Arrow is. Clark doing the traditional "superheroes covering for each other" thing was a lot of fun as well. Hey, I'm for anything that gets Lois and Clark in each other's arms. Geez, if they'd waited any longer, the series would be freaking over.

The Lex/Lana developments were cool, as usual. Lex finally has a permanent trump card. I knew he would throw Lana's pregnancy in Clark's face. And Lana, totally fooled by Lex bringing her breakfast in bed and revealing tiny slivers of his real self, has just agreed to marry a supervillain. We got one final, angst-filled Clark/Lana relationship scene in the barn, but I didn't mind that blast from the past so much since it was obviously their last. I was more strongly moved by the end of Lana's relationship with Chloe, since Lana will never forgive Chloe for keeping Clark's secret. That was rather sad.

The reason for Tori Spelling's fame has permanently eluded me. But I'll give her this: she was convincingly nasty and villainous. Tori hasn't been "liquidated" yet. Hey, they don't have to bring her back just for my sake.

Bits and pieces:

— If they're really planning to do a Justice League spinoff, they should definitely hang on to Allison Mack. And possibly Aaron Ashmore as well.

— Was this the first time Lois Lane worked with Jimmy Olsen?

— There were a bunch of water puns: her name is Linda Lake (another character with those initials), and Lana talked about her secrets being "leaked" to Lake's column. Dan was wondering what would happen if someone drank Linda Lake.

— Chloe mentioned a dwindling pigeon population. Was that a throwaway line, or did it mean something? Maybe they were drinking her.

— Linda Lake mentioned being able to see Gotham from her new office window.

— Clark in the Green Arrow costume was pretty cool. Tom Welling's eyes have never looked greener.

— Clark called Lois "a pitbull in a pantleg."

— There was some obvious Sprint product placement. I hate that.

— Clark as Green Arrow tossed a bad guy into a pile of garbage. And Lana's SUV hitting Linda Lake was almost a car wreck. Two points?

— This episode was directed by Tom Welling. Excellent job, Tom. I don't mean this as a dig, but I think you do better as a director than an actor. Seriously.


Chloe: "I swear I'm losing my scare reflex because of you."

Clark: "For the record, I prefer 'intergalactic traveler' over 'alien from another planet'."

Lex: "Lana, with the life I've led, I go to bed praying every night that I don't get what I deserve." I thought this was a very interesting line. It can be interpreted in more than one way.

It was nice to have an episode mostly about Clark again, and this was loads better than the last one. Let's go with a marginal four stars,

Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.


  1. This episode is one of two halves for me. The first is all the Lana/Lex/Clark angst. I guess because I am just so over Lana and Clark that I don't care any longer. And the main story is just silly.

    But, then we have the "Is Ollie Green Arrow" story which may be one of the best things this show ever did. I watch the two scenes (where Lois kisses Clark and then the follow-up in the apartment) over and over, just laughing. Chloe's glee in the latter scene just makes me laugh out loud. Allison Mack is just obviously having so much fun. And Clark's face at the end -- priceless.

  2. Part of the thing that irritates me is that while Clark has always been focused romantically on Lana, the show seems to be retconning things to pretend the same has also been true of Lana. But Lana had at least two other significant relationships (Jason & Whitney) and arguably three (Adam), before Lex. And they all hid things from her, not just Clark. In fact, I would say Adam and Jason's secrets were even more significant.

  3. Lana was... was actually kind of scary this episode... First that scene with Chloe then even when she switches to 'imploring' with Clark it's no less intimidating somehow.


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