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Smallville: Phantom

Clark: "What the hell are you?"
Bizarro: "I'm you. Only a little more bizarre."

I didn't think they could top last season's Zod finale, and they didn't. But they came darned close, didn't they? When they do cliffhangers on this show, they don't fool around. Explosive confrontations, massive plot twists, new supervillains. Wow.

After six years, Clark finally told Lana everything... right before she died. Not. I'm certain that Lana is very much alive because she obviously just framed Lex for her own faked murder in order to be free of him. I think I need to accept the fact that these guys are never going to write Lana out. Can't she stay in hiding for a long time, at least until Clark notices Lois? With the cast having seven year contracts, if they don't do Lois and Clark next year, they never will.

I'm more concerned about my beloved Chloe, whose meteor power of healing finally manifested in time to save Lois. (That stabbing scene was so visceral that it actually upset and confused me; I started wondering about the Chloe-is-really-Lois theory from so long ago.) Is Chloe's meteor freak power the first one that is totally positive? Chloe can't be dead. She's died at the end of a season before, and wasn't really dead. Hey, everyone has.

We finally found out what was going on with Lionel: he's an emissary of Jor-El, and he was even working with another emissary – Martian Manhunter. They left Lionel looking like he might be dead, too. Please, no.

Dan was absolutely thrilled that they ended the episode by introducing Bizarro, who is Clark's evil, twisted superclone. I didn't know who he was but he certainly looked cool and I'm taking Dan's word for it that it is a great development. It was certainly a surprise way to end the Zoner plot.

Bits and pieces:

— The "previously on" was five yards long and included pretty much every special effect shot they did this season.

— When Lana confronted Lex about her faked pregnancy, he looked and sounded confused. He didn't know, did he? So who did it to her, if it wasn't Lex? Was it Lionel as well?

— I like Martian Manhunter; he's my second favorite of the new Justice League characters they've introduced (after Impulse). Here, we learned that MMH has to leave Earth's atmosphere to heal. And that he speaks French. Do Martians speak French?

— Martha's off for Washington. That felt like a write-out. What about her relationship with Lionel? If he's not dead, of course.

— They found a way not to kill Omen Kid; the Zoner exited through his mouth instead of his torso the final time. They almost never kill off kids in shows like this.

— The second time through, Dan noticed that Bizarro was wearing a dark version of Clark's outfit: maroon and navy instead of red and blue. Consistent with the comics.

— Bizarro actually drained the green K like it was a superpowered snack. Does he have any weaknesses at all? Dan told me that there are several versions of Bizarro and he thinks his weakness might be white K. We shall see.

— Lots of body tossing. I counted at least five. And Lana's car blew up. Six points.

Lionel: "Oh, dear. I'd hoped married life had lessened some of your paranoia."

Lana told Lex, "Clark means more to me than you ever will." I think she did it deliberately to get Lex to hit her.

I loved it. Four out of four stars,

Billie
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Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.

4 comments:

  1. Great review of a great season ender.

    They managed to "kill off" just about everyone, didn't they. The ultimate cliffhanger.

    With the cast having seven year contracts, if they don't do Lois and Clark next year, they never will.

    This made me smile. One of the advantages of watching a show that has already run its course is knowing *exactly* when it is going to end.

    Another great year of reviews, Billie.

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  2. IMHO, Smallville has the best season ending cliffhangers of all tv show ever!

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  3. I was actually thinking Chloe's meteor power would be some supernatural hacking ability, but apparently that's just the usual Hollywood magical hacking approach. One thing I liked about Mr. Robot was that they actually had to work to gain access to passwords and get into data sets.

    It was a very tense episode. Yikes!

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  4. Yeah the Martha departure in the opening scene is the only thing that clued me in that this is the season finale. And right after the opening credits I forgot again and treated it like a regular episode until all the main characters were simultaneously getting into trouble again, lol. I still liked it though, actually. Lois getting gutted was visceral, like you said, and the ending did again what I said the s5 finale did lol, Clark shown getting thrown out of the dam tumbling through the air ungracefully while Bizarro gets to fly coolly after him. I like Bizarro's face glitches, the effects are pretty simple but sometimes I actually do find it kind of unsettling. I'm surprised at how undercooked Martian Manhunter feels, like I'm used to the show doing this with allies like the Justice League heroes but they had center focus in their introductory episode at least... as far I can recall MM was already only a footnote in his first episode. I'm surprised Clark isn't more proactively curious about him.
    I will be shocked if there are still Lexana fans after this season, because that stuff was no fun, no sexy. There was really nothing there for me. I wish they did something with Lionel and Martha instead if they wanted to go there with a Luthor in a relationship, it'd be less depressing to watch with Lionel's attraction at least being completely sincere. Maybe they figured the Jonathan fans would take it badly. Lex kind of creeps me out now, I'm surprised the show managed to pull that off with me. I didn't know he could be so... wooden, romantically. Again, not sure if that was Michael Rosenbaum losing interest or if it was to make an overt point about Lex's incapacity for love above sentiment. It was certainly different when Helen Bryce was around..

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