Smallville: Phantom

Clark: "What the hell are you?"
Bizarro: "I'm you. Only a little more bizarre."

I didn't think they could top last season's Zod finale, and they didn't. But they came darned close, didn't they? When they do cliffhangers on this show, they don't fool around. Explosive confrontations, massive plot twists, new supervillains. Wow.

After six years, Clark finally told Lana everything... right before she died. Not. I'm certain that Lana is very much alive because she obviously just framed Lex for her own faked murder in order to be free of him. I think I need to accept the fact that these guys are never going to write Lana out. Can't she stay in hiding for a long time, at least until Clark notices Lois? With the cast having seven year contracts, if they don't do Lois and Clark next year, they never will.

I'm more concerned about my beloved Chloe, whose meteor power of healing finally manifested in time to save Lois. (That stabbing scene was so visceral that it actually upset and confused me; I started wondering about the Chloe-is-really-Lois theory from so long ago.) Is Chloe's meteor freak power the first one that is totally positive? Chloe can't be dead. She's died at the end of a season before, and wasn't really dead. Hey, everyone has.

We finally found out what was going on with Lionel: he's an emissary of Jor-El, and he was even working with another emissary – Martian Manhunter. They left Lionel looking like he might be dead, too. Please, no.

Dan was absolutely thrilled that they ended the episode by introducing Bizarro, who is Clark's evil, twisted superclone. I didn't know who he was but he certainly looked cool and I'm taking Dan's word for it that it is a great development. It was certainly a surprise way to end the Zoner plot.

Bits and pieces:

— The "previously on" was five yards long and included pretty much every special effect shot they did this season.

— When Lana confronted Lex about her faked pregnancy, he looked and sounded confused. He didn't know, did he? So who did it to her, if it wasn't Lex? Was it Lionel as well?

— I like Martian Manhunter; he's my second favorite of the new Justice League characters they've introduced (after Impulse). Here, we learned that MMH has to leave Earth's atmosphere to heal. And that he speaks French. Do Martians speak French?

— Martha's off for Washington. That felt like a write-out. What about her relationship with Lionel? If he's not dead, of course.

— They found a way not to kill Omen Kid; the Zoner exited through his mouth instead of his torso the final time. They almost never kill off kids in shows like this.

— The second time through, Dan noticed that Bizarro was wearing a dark version of Clark's outfit: maroon and navy instead of red and blue. Consistent with the comics.

— Bizarro actually drained the green K like it was a superpowered snack. Does he have any weaknesses at all? Dan told me that there are several versions of Bizarro and he thinks his weakness might be white K. We shall see.

— Lots of body tossing. I counted at least five. And Lana's car blew up. Six points.

Lionel: "Oh, dear. I'd hoped married life had lessened some of your paranoia."

Lana told Lex, "Clark means more to me than you ever will." I think she did it deliberately to get Lex to hit her.

I loved it. Four out of four stars,

Billie
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Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.

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