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Don't You Just Love Vampires, Billie?

In honor of Vampire Month, and because we were feeling a bit cheeky, we decided to continue the About Us interviews with an incisive series of conversations abut the very Important Topic of vampires. Um, I mean Vampires. Our first victim is site queen herself, Billie Doux.

What are your top three vampire movies?

Interview with the Vampire is probably my favorite. I had loved the book and was wildly apprehensive about the movie, and it turned out to be terrific. I still think that as far as vampire movies go, it's the one to beat. I don't actually have any other favorites.

What are your top 3 vampire TV shows?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and True Blood, in that order. Honorable mention for Moonlight, which had promise and a really hot lead, but never had a chance to fulfill its potential. I'm currently watching the reruns of Vampire Diaries with hope throbbing in my heart that it'll get good. I believe it will, because Josie says so.

What are your top 3 vampire books?

I'm not really into vampire books. For me, it's early Anne Rice and the Sookie Stackhouse series, and that's about it. I've read the Twilight books and they're fun, but I find them flawed and they don't speak to me personally.

Which vampire universe would you most like to be a vampire in?

Twilight, definitely. I'd love to be preternaturally gorgeous and all sparkly in the sunlight and be able to spend all my time reading, having super sex, and playing ultimate baseball.

What are your top 3 vampire kisses?
What are your top 3 vampire fight scenes?

I'm going to combine these two questions and give one answer for both: the Buffy episode "Smashed". Buffy and Spike consummated their bizarre love affair while battering each other, and they managed to destroy a building in the process. It was the wildest, sexiest, most passionate thing I've ever seen on television. It blew me away.

Who's the sexiest/favorite female vamp?

Drusilla on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She was just cool. Violent, insane, collected dolls, loved her.

Who's the sexiest/favorite male vamp? (Because with vampires, aren't sexy and favorite the same thing?)

Spike was my favorite for years, and still is, although Eric Northman has become a serious challenger for the top spot. They're both blond and snarky. Guess we know what Billie's type is.

Vampire I'd most like to bite me?

Definitely Eric Northman. I don't want Spike to bite me because he's trying too hard to behave.

Favorite Buffy quote?

This is not a question you should ask the person that the Buffywikia referred to as "renowned Buffy reviewer Billie Doux". I spent an hour going through my reviews and picking out my favorites. Eventually, I decided to narrow it down to the vampire-related quotes, or this piece would be five miles long. (So since I already did the compiling, I may do a "Favorite Buffy Quotes" piece later this month.)

Spike: "If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and spent the next six hours watching my hand move."

Giles: "Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore."

Willow: "So you're feeling better about Angel?"
Buffy: "Well, we talked. And then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me... and then we talked some more."
Willow: "See? That's how it should work."

Buffy: (to Dracula) "You know, I really think the thrall has gone out of our relationship."

Joyce: "He seemed so nice and normal. A little pale."
Willow: "A good Sunnydale rule of thumb? Avoid white-skinned men in capes."

Buffy: "You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up."
Spike: "Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck."

Andrew: "Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he's room temperature."

Why don't men get Spike?

I bet it's because Spike is a fool for love. He makes the woman he loves the center of his existence and builds his life around her. He'd do anything for her, anything to win her love. He'd even die for her. Maybe men find that a little frightening, or possibly a bit emasculating? It certainly made Spike more attractive to women.

Why men want to punch Angel... and then wear his entrails as a hat, record it for future posterity, and cite it as the answer to a question. [Editorial note: Paul made up this question.]

I've heard several times that when David Boreanaz auditioned for Angel, the men in the room had pretty much no reaction, but the women were in a tizzy. He's probably just one of those guys that women really like but men mostly go, Huh?

What do you like most about vampires?

Wow. I really had to think about this one, and my thoughts all went in the direction of the good-looking male vampires. There's immortality, meaning he isn't going to grow older and develop a beer belly. Since they usually don't eat normal food (yes, I remember Spike and the Weetabix) they tend to stay trim (yes, I remember Angel in season four). They look good in black. And they stalk you, which is only fun if the stalker is exceptionally gorgeous and you dig him.

What caliber gun should a UFC champion vampire hunter holding a beer use when taking down a horde of terrorist zombie werewolves while oogling a lesbian stripper next to BBQ steak? Let's race cars on a football field! [Editorial note: But this one is all Dimitri.]


Team Edward or team Jacob?

Neither. I think the question should be "Team Bill or Team Eric?"

And of course, it's Eric.


  1. Speaking of Spike, Angel, Bill, Eric, Edward, Damon, Stefan etc. Why aren't there any shows where the main vampires are female? :)

  2. Druscilla is a fascinating pick, Billie. Very cool.

    Regarding the Spike question: Good God, you LA women are jaded about men! In your eyes, we're just big balls of petty insecurity, aren't we? Well, I don't mind telling you that reading this made me feel very insecure, and your mom dresses you funny.

    Also, as much as I'd like the credit for the "Angel entrails" question, that one was all Paul. However, I will own up to the "strippers next to BBQ steak" one.

  3. Good point, Patryk. No starring female vampires. I loved Darla and Drusilla with a passion, though. And Jessica and Pam on True Blood are just wonderful, although they are mostly comic relief. Fabulous comic relief, if I may say.

  4. Well, it isn't a TV show, but I'm reasonably sure that the star of 'Underworld' is Celine. So there's one lead female vampire.

    And there was that one (terrible) episode of 'The X-Files' where Mulder was hot for the supposed female vampire. I think she turned out to just be a messed up human chick, but it was still a case where the human man was drawn to a female vampire figure.

    Fun stuff, Billie! I enjoyed seeing which questions you chose, even more than your answers. Great Buffy quotes! I'm looking forward to your piece with the rest of the best.

  5. Sorry about that, Dimitri and Paul. Men aren't interchangeable. :-)

    There was the Fringe episode about vampires, too.

  6. Let's try this again.

    There's a cute little vampire movie called Once Bitten starring Lauren Hutton (hey! there's a starring female vampire!) and a very young Jim Carrey that I like a lot. In this version, the first thing vampires do is bite off all your buttons.

    Also, in your list of vampire TV shows, if you are going to name Supernatural for its one vampire episode, you have to name Smallville for its single episode. On the DVD, the commentators laugh about how it was the worst idea they ever had.

  7. Hey, I like Spike, too. But I think the reason women like him so much is not that he does anything to the one he loves, but because he does it while being sincere, aware of it, and tremendously cool.

    I like Angel too, he's a very good tragic figure. Boreanaz is not my favorite actor but I think he could convey the character well.

    But it's hard to think of a Buffy/Angel character I truly don't like. I even think Dawn had a purpose in the narrative.

    But I don't think of Buffy/Angel as vampire shows. As they progressed, the vampire thing got a bit on the side. We started to think of Spike, Angel, Darla and co. as people. Dangerous, immortal people, but people nonetheless.

    Maybe I think that way because I don't like vampires per se.

  8. YEEEEHAWW it's Vampire Month! Great quotes section Billie, Please do your Buffy quotes article sometime, it'll be interesting to see how many of us will get teary eyed with nostalgia at the same time as crying with laughter.

    I'm rewatching VD along with Josie's reviews and am more and more stricken by how hugely similar Stefan and Angel are in looks and attitude. In some shots of Stefan at home I almost couldn't tell whether it was him or Angel(back when he was played by young toned, high-haired DB). Surely everyone else sees it?

    I totally agree about Buffy and Angel not feeling like vampire shows Gustavo. They explored so many different themes and incorporated so many different supernatural entities that they feel about as vampiric as Supernatural to me. Oddly enough, Supernatural feels way more 'genre' too.

  9. Harry, I agree completely. Not just with the Yeehaw, either: especially last week, Stefan looked a lot like Angel.

    Thank goodness we don't have to deal with an atrocious Angelus wig, though.

  10. Vampire month rules! I just love the theme, have always done so, and after Angel and BUffy gone I felt a hole. I remember "Forever Knight" that was a great TV show but didn't last long. I guess it's because viewers tend to prefer more witty, ironic and tending to be bad kind of vampires, take Eric Northman, Spike (while he wasn't behaving) and Damon; the three of them hold the same charm, the same lure, especially to women. And hey, just a final comment, Damon Salvatore has really made Ian Somerhalder improve his acting and sex appeal - he doesn't even remind that boring and dull Boone at Lost!

  11. Okay, first of all, love vampire month. Second of all, great questions and answers, which like all great questions made me think what my own answers would be.

    Like Billie (and many others i suspect) i prefer Spike to Angel and Eric to Bill, but in both cases it started off the opposite way round. And i think it comes down to two things. When all is said and done, Spike and Eric are more exciting than Angel and Bill. There's the possibility for turning them into good men purely because of you and at the same time the unpredictability of just not knowing which way they'll go. So you have the romance and the thrills. And for me, personally, there's sarcasm too which i have a weakness for. Which may also partly explain my fondness for Dean Winchester...

  12. By the way, Dean Winchester is a proof that good guys can also be fascinating ;)

  13. Eric and Spike are so good at being bad guys that I cannot help it... just love them. But my favorite is Eric, and Alexander Skarsgard has a lot to do with it.

  14. I haven't read the books, but Eric can't hold a candle to Spike. Spike is witty as hell (he was a poet, after all). He was very self aware and cynical about it at the same time. He bows only to love, while never been really the top dog.

    Eric, on the other hand, acts mysterious. Only that. He abuses his power but breaks for political reasons all the time. And he didn't seduce Sookie, he tricked her into drinking his blood, taking advantage of her good nature. He's an asshole, and if you're a woman and have a crush on him, well, you know your type.

    Dean may act like a bad boy, but his heart is pure gold. I'm with him all the way.

    Did I sound gay? Let's talk about Jessica. Love her. Sexy, troubled and endearingly clumsy.


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