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Vampire Diaries: There Goes the Neighborhood

Stefan: “I remember them, from 1864.”
Damon: “Yeah, about that.”

Melinda Clarke and the Pearl-led tombies really shook things up tonight. The title refers to both of them, but they couldn’t be more different: Kelly isn’t much of a mom, but Pearl runs her crew, and her daughter, with an iron fist. Neither Kelly’s laissez-faire policy nor Pearl’s dictatorship, though, really worked out the way they wanted.

Stefan and Elena’s awkward double-date with Caroline and Matt... well, it probably needed to be done, but I’m still bored by Caroline and Matt, so it wasn’t really the highlight of my evening. Stefan did do a great job of making himself seem like an average guy despite the ginormous house and super-sleek car. All that build-up was worth it, though, when Matt and Caroline walked in on Damon’s trip to cougar town. Kelly and Damon seemed to be working out pretty well, didn’t they?

Pearl has something of a rebellion on her hands. Some of the tombies are chomping at the bit, and even Anna is lying to her mom about what’s going on with Jeremy. We’ve seen what Isobel is capable of, and Katherine (in the flashbacks) has come across and devious and manipulative. Pearl’s a bit different: she’s in charge and she expects everyone to accept it. If they don’t, she punishes them. It’s very forthright.

Jenna finally got a chance to cut loose tonight, and she did it well. Despite the Jenna/Damon sparkage from a few episodes ago, she gracefully let Kelly Donovan enjoy the man-meat. And then she—with some vervain-assistance—managed to laugh off a thuggish tombie.

Jeremy and Elena still aren’t communicating. That can’t end well.


• Stefan: “He waited 145 years to find out that Katherine didn’t care about him at all.”

• Pearl: “And the keypad is for texting, which is what you do when you don’t want to talk to someone.”

• Kelly: “You’re new around here.”
Damon: “On the contrary, I’m very old.” Okay, I have to stop now. I loved the entire conversation between Melinda Clarke and Damon.

• Anna: “You were all cute and floppy, and I wanted to make a good impression.” Yeah, the floppy always does me in, too.

• Caroline: “This is much better than watching Damon visit Cougar Town.”

• Matt: “…hooking up with a guy half your age.” Well…

And Pieces:

• Ms. Gibbons sounded just like a mom when she asked Anna if she wanted some blood.

• Don’t even get me started on Jeremy doing the stupidest internet research possible.

• We got confirmation that Pearl has 400 years on Damon, which, as we discussed in the comments, must mean that Anna is over 500 years old. Which I still have a hard time believing.

• I’d forgotten that Stefan didn’t know about the tomb vampires. Oops.

This was a transition episode. It did its job.

Three out of four apothecaries.

(Screencap courtesy of vampire-diaries.net. Thanks!)

Josie Kafka is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)


  1. So funny! In the scene where Pearl reveals her age, Damon falls on a sofa. There is a pillow there with an embroidered quote. I had to pause the video to read it: "If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth" (FDR's daughter?)

    And what is it with the choking, anyway? They don't breathe, so what's the point?

    Josie, you might want to edit this post. Some things are duplicated.

  2. Pucklady, thanks for the heads up! I've fixed it.

    For all you reading these comments later: Nothing to see here. No paragraphs used twice. Not at all.

  3. I was hoping for more hilarity from the double date. But Damon picking up Matt's mother made up for it. And Pearl! She is hard core, isn't she? Eyes? Really?

  4. It occurs to me that Anna could very well be 500, and not be very independent. She is so entangled emotionally with her mother that I don't think she really views herself as anything else.

    I know it flies in the face of reason. But maybe if that isn't the case, then perhaps there is more to Anna then we've seen.


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