The problem with parallel universes isn't that they force us to radically re-conceptualize our understanding of space, time, and reality. No, the problem is that now we're responsible for getting twice as many people Christmas gifts, stocking stuffers, and Chanukah chotchkies. And what do you get the shapeshifter who has everything? Read on to find out:
• For the softie who has everything: Over There, the polar bears have mutated. Over Here, they still need some loving care. (Just don’t get too close!) The World Wildlife Fund has a service in which you can direct your money towards a specific type of animal: if you want, you can adopt a polar bear in someone else’s name. This is an incredibly delightful gift, and even comes with a certificate of adoption and (if you’re willing to let a bit of your money to go towards plush toys) a stuffed bear or tiger or blue-footed booby. Fun for all ages!
• For the armchair physicist: Michio Kaku, Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Creation, Higher Dimensions, and the Future of the Cosmos. The title pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?
• For the person who reads too much into episode titles: A vase of white tulips from FTD. The perfect accompaniment to a game of Clue.
• For the lonesome watcher: The complete Dawson’s Creek. Because, as it turns out, Pacey is Peter’s Over There doppelganger.
• For the fan of twisty-turvy TV: The Definitive Gold Box Edition of Twin Peaks, the original super-confusing show.
The White Tulips could be a very romantic present. They're beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI guess if I had a shapeshifter friend I'd give him/her/it a gigantic termometer.
Or give your significant other one broken snowglobe and a normal one, and say: "If there's a universe in which you don't exist, I'd never live in it"
Awwwwwww