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Our (non)coverage of the Emmy Awards

Since no one at Billiedoux.com was willing to cover last night's Emmys, here are our excuses direct from the virtual writers' room, complete with an international weather report. What other site offers their readers coverage like this?

Billie Doux: I completely forgot the Emmys again. Did anyone see them? Anyone want to post a diatribe about them?

ChrisB: I saw them, but can't think what to write about them that won't be negative. I thought it was dire. The only win I cheered was Jeremy Davies for Justified and we didn't even get to see that win. As expected, Homeland and Modern Family swept.

Billie Doux: Dire. That sounds like the Emmys we all know and love. :) Seriously, I'm not surprised that I tend to forget they even exist.

Sunbunny: Aaron Paul won. Betty White was robbed. And can anyone explain to me the appeal of Louis CK? Why do we keep giving him awards? PS There is NO WAY it was 125 degrees on the red carpet. It was only 95 at my house and downtown is always at least 10 degrees cooler.

Billie Doux: Do you mean Giancarlo Esposito didn't get best supporting for what very well could have been the best villain on TV, ever? Not that I'm not pleased for Aaron Paul, who has done some exceptional work.

ChrisB: Right??? If one more person had mentioned the temperature on the red carpet, I was going to throw my glass of wine at the television. No one was sweating (one would think the men in their tuxes would certainly have been!) and a breeze was blowing all the lovely coiffed hair all over the place. And, for the love of all that's holy, why is ABC required to ask "who are you wearing?" Is there anyone who gives a good damn? My final rant, what was that bit at the beginning in the lady's room? I missed the joke completely. Can you tell how pissed off I am? My first live awards show in over a decade and I hated it.

Juliette: I had no idea they were happening till I woke up to the news talking about Maggie Smith and Damien Lewis this morning. Since it was hard to imagine another reason those two would be in the same sentence, it had to be awards time! I guess Game of Thrones didn't get anything this year?

Jess Lynde: I find Louie CK's stand up sometimes hilarious --- he has a bit in one of the S2 episodes of his show about reading Tom Sawyer to his young daughters, that had me clutching my sides --- sometimes really well observed, and sometimes incredibly uncomfortable. With his show, I love that I never know what it is going to be from week to week. Sometimes he puts you in some raunchy or incredibly uncomfortable situations, and sometimes he tells a small story that really speaks to some basic truths about parenting or interactions between people. I don't enjoy every episode, but it is a fascinating experience, and he often pulls together something that is strangely moving and/or thought-provoking. I'm glad that he was recognized for his work. And I'm really thrilled about Aaron Paul. Although it was pretty hard to go wrong in that category. :)

Josie Kafka: I didn't watch them, but it's exciting Jeremy Davies won! Were the Emmys downtown or in Hollywood? If they were in Hollywood, I can testify to it being Ungodly Hot Like We're Being Punished For Something last night. It was--seriously--too hot to watch TV.

Sunbunny: Nope. They were at Nokia. When is this effing heat going to break? It's practically October!

Gus Brunetti: Last week the temperature was above 100 degrees. We happen to be in the winter down here. No, it's not normal.

Josie Kafka: You, too, Gus?! It's not fair! It's not fair!

Mark Greig: I was thinking about writing a post but then I saw the results and decided against it because I knew it would just be one titanic rant about Sherlock not winning a single award. Not one! Although I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Moffat was beaten by Buffy's own Danny Strong. Way to go, Jonathan.

Josie Kafka: Did Jonathan win for Game Change? That was good. And horrifying. But mostly good.

Billie Doux: Would it be all right if I condensed our comments in the thread on the Emmys into a brief post on Doux News next week? I bet it would be funny.

Josie Kafka: I think that sounds great. Are you going to include the stuff about how LA and Brazil are getting the unfair share of global warming?

Billie Doux: I could. It's relevant, since the temperature on the red carpet appeared to affect the participants.

Josie Kafka: Then my pudgy cat Small Duckling would like to add: "Hot. Hot. Sprawl. Hot."

Juliette: Over here it's freezing cold and we've had a month's rainfall in 24 hours. Just fyi. Back to the Emmys, I just scrolled down the list and discovered that 2 Broke Girls is now officially an Emmy-award-winning show. We're not quite at the level of Norbit winning an Oscar yet, but getting close...

ChrisB: I like the idea of a collective post on Sunday.

Mark Greig: It's raining so badly here I swear my neighbour is building ark. Josie, he did win for Game Change. Knowing that 2 Broke Girls has an Emmy while Parks and Recreation has none is proof that this is truly the darkest timeline.

Josie Kafka: We could do this entire thread as a post today, rather than wait for condensing for Doux News? Too weird?

Juliette: Either works. I watch Community, so nothing is too weird for me ;)

Josie Kafka: I exist only in Abed's head.

Sunbunny: wtf did two broke girls win? why? how? the whole night I was waiting for Kat dennings to fall out of her dress. I've heard both those girls are mega bitches.

Paul Kelly: Josie, you call your cat 'small duckling,' yet ask whether posting some comments is too weird? It's raining here, too... and purely for the sake of competitiveness, it's just rained 42 weeks worth of rain in 10 seconds.

Josie Kafka: Says some fool who calls himself "Paul." Who ever heard of such a name?

Mark Greig: Well here is just rained 42 weeks worth of rain in 9 seconds. Ha, in your face losers! Incidentally, can someone lend me a paddle for my boat?

Paul Kelly: I didn't call myself it, my parents called me it. They could only cope with one syllable names. And, Mark, it's just rained all the rain in the world in my back garden -- instantaneously. What you got now?

Mark Greig: All the water in the solar system rained in my backyard in a portion of fraction of tenth of a microsecond.

Paul Kelly: Okay, I admit you have more water, but mine was quicker. Draw?

Mark Greig: As long as by draw you mean I win.

Jess Lynde: Since half the post may be about the weather, I just want to say that the last week or so in Western NY has been pretty decent. A return to nice cool weather in the morning and mild temps in the afternoon, with some much needed rain every few days, but not too, too much (except for that one day). I also want to add that it is a damn shame that Parks and Rec can't seem to win any Emmys, but at least Amy Poehler continues to delight at the awards shows. Oh well. I guess since I sung the praises of Louie CK earlier, I can't complain too much about the lack of Parks and Rec wins in that category. :)

Gus Brunetti: Could you say the carpet was... *puts on sunglasses* ... red hot?

Mark Greig: YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunbunny: cue the who!

15 comments:

  1. This post illustrates perfectly why I enjoy the Billie Doux universe so much! You are all so funny whether you are talking about TV or not--the TV is just what brings you all together.

    The only thing I really enjoyed about the Emmys (and I watched the whole thing while working on lesson plans) is how collectively funny the comedic women are. They make all these great inside jokes that are, of course bits, but that flow so naturally. The beginning bit doesn't really count because it was obviously Kimmel's idea, but I loved Melissa McCarthy flirting with all the male nominees and I really enjoyed the Julia Louis-Dreyfus/Amy Poehler switched speeches thing.

    Beyond that, most of it was pretty boring. The same shows kept winning (like Game Change winning 3-4 categories in a row or Homeland taking many awards in drama or Modern family taking just about everything in comedy...). I would like to see more variety.

    I also could not believe they cut off the last speech of the night when it wasn't even 11 yet and he was just about finished...so rude.

    I can't wait to read your non-coverage of the next awards show!

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  2. LMAO

    You guys rock. Buy you already knew that.

    No wonder I'm such a fan.

    Excuse me, but what is an Emmy ?

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  3. I liked one thing about this year's Emmy's: Mad Men's reign is apparently over. I really, relly can't understand the appeal of this show. It has some of the least sympathetic characters ever put on TV, and very uninteresting storylines. If a bomb were to fall onto that ad agency, I'd only feel bad for Peggy. And not that much

    One of the other problems I have with MM is the perception the public in general has of Don Draper. Before watching, I heard marvels of the character, how he represented a type that was the real man, a model for today (seriously). I could forgive the womanizing saying it was the rule at the time of the show (not that I would forgive it in a man of today). But Don is an utter coward, who needlessly steps on those who are below him and has a pattern of not facing his problems, only escapig from them. And I like Jon Hamm, I think he's a fine actor and he appears to be a very nice guy; but Don Draper only drinks, smokes, and stares far away, brooding, and we're tricked into thinking he's having deep thoughts. Anything that we may think is going on his mind is just projection. For me, he represents not only some of the worst traits of humanity, but some of the worst problems in high-brow fiction as well.

    And January Jones and that wooden performance! When I saw X-men: First Class, I thought "she's a nominated actress, this must be a low point in her acting". No, she's always like that.

    I'm a persistent guy for shows. I didn't get into the Wire until mid 3rd season. I only started truly loving Buffy after I watched the 7 seasons. I watched Heroes UNTIL THE BITTER END in hopes it'd get good again. But I've put on ep 10 of the 3rd season of Mad Men 4 times already, and I just can't go on. t lost me completely.

    Now the rant is off the way, Homeland had one of the most suspenseful scenes over made (the one of the bunker). I literally bit my nails.

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  4. Gus, your comment made me laugh out loud three times. I'd just decided this season that I'd had enough of Mad Men. Don Draper's charms are lost on me.

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  5. Yeah, Billie. Many men would like to be like him. I just hope I never turn into that.

    I liked that Damien Lewis got what he deserved. He's a great actor, and has a lot of range. He can believably be the nicest guy in the world one minute and a great menace in the other. I was sad Mandy Patinkin wasn't even nominated. He's great too, and he owned the episode in which there's more focus on him.

    I watched all seasons of Parks and Recreation in 5 days and I love everyone involved. Amy Poehler makes such a larger-than-life character as Leslie Knope feels very real, and that's a big accomplishment. She deserved the award.

    Now someone give Julianne Moore an Oscar already!

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  7. a.m., were you perhaps the a.m. that did Lost webisodes for us?

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  8. 2 Broke Girls won for Art Direction by the way. As Mark says, truly this is the darkest timeline.

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  9. Damian Lewis and Claire Danes really earned those awards..great work from both in Homeland..
    Jon Cryer von best comedy actor? Huh? Is this the Bizarro-verse?
    Love your commentary.
    Anna

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  10. Mark, should I wear a fake goatee over my real one? What's the protocol in this case.

    Dibs on not losing an arm!

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  11. Gus, if you've already got a goatee then you're sorted.

    And dibs on Evil Abed!

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  12. Wonderful post, all. This site is the best. I completely forgot the Emmy's were on...

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  13. guilty as charged--thanks for remembering:)

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  14. Sooze - Everyone forgot, fortunately. They totally sucked this year, like most years...

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