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Vampire Diaries: The Five

“You can call it a deal with the devil if you like.”

It was a week of odd pairings on Vampire Diaries this week: Damon and Bonnie teaming up to help Elena; Jeremy working for Klaus; Rebekah having coffee with April in the present and a romance with a mystical vampire-hunter in the past. All topped off with a dash of historical flashback and a smidgen of hints about the future.

Connor Jordan explained his tattoo: a fellow soldier had one and told him that, since he could see it, he was a potential slayer. Connor lost track of him, but his own tattoo started to appear a few years later after he was overcome with an urge to kill vampires. (Nice parallel with Elena’s urge to drink blood.) It’s safe to assume Connor switched from potential to real slayer after his friend died, right? Because in each generation only five are born to stand against the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness?

That tattoo grows with each vampire Connor kills; that tattoo is a map to a cure for vampirism. That map is an excuse for Stefan and Klaus to team up, since they share a desire to make Elena human again. I want Elena to be human again, too, since I’m not really loving the angsty transition.

Although it is an interesting moral dilemma, isn’t it? Elena doesn’t want to hurt people, but she must in order to survive. Feeding on, and compelling, a frat boy who wants to roofie and rape a co-ed is poetic justice—but it also reminds us that eating and mind-wiping people isn’t much different (if at all) from roofie-rapes. Interesting, but uncomfortable. For all of Elena’s Mary-Sueishness, her kindness and humanity made her easy to root for. Now, I’m just as uncomfortable as she is with congratulating her on learning to treat humans like food.

We also got an answer to the question that perplexed a lot of us last week: Why can’t Caroline be a mentor? Apparently, Caroline has such mad skillz that she can’t help Elena learn the art of vampire Zen. Damon isn’t the best of teachers, though, since he seems to take a bit too much pleasure in Elena losing herself. More pleasure than Elena does, in fact.

Speaking of pleasure: Rebekah and Klaus continue to have the same fight, don’t they? Rebekah feels like Klaus takes advantage of her, Klaus continues to do so. Bored now.

And speaking one last time of pleasure: This episode had some delightful moments, witty lines (even from Stefan!), and pretty people doing pretty things. But watching it again I realized that I didn’t get much pleasure from it: Rebekah and Klaus are the same recycled drama. Elena’s transition is depressing, but not in an entertaining way. Bonnie’s new mentor at the college is interesting, especially his connection with Connor, but we got only teases this week.

VD is setting up a lot of interesting mysteries, and continues to deliver fast-paced and fun episodes, but I’m having a hard time investing in the character arcs this season. Is it just me?


• Damon: “We’re in a fight.”
Stefan: “You’re in a fight. I’m not in a fight. I’m over it. I’ve been over it.”

• Stefan: “You went to such trouble to truss him up in your Red Room of Pain.”

• Damon: “Elena’s educating me on the importance of feelings.”

• Stefan: “Let me just name the million other people I’d rather be having dinner with right now.”

• Damon: “I’m Jack. And these are the two lovely ladies I just... rippered.”

And Pieces:

• Witches are the “architects of the supernatural.” Because Bonnie’s powers are so often iffy, I hadn’t quite realized how much power they have, at least in getting things started. (Less good at successfully ending them, though.)

• Grams liked Cujo? I didn’t know anyone liked Cujo.

How many mystical vampire hunters out of The Five?

Josie Kafka is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)


  1. I enjoyed this one. As soon as they introduced the "cure", I thought, Elena is going to be human again by the end of the season. Or... the producers decided to introduce the idea of a cure just in case Elena-as-vampire doesn't click with the fans. I think it's not clicking with you, Josie -- am I right? Even though I am still enjoying every episode, and even though it's sort of fascinating watching good girl Elena struggling with darkness, I'm also a bit uncomfortable with Elena as a vampire. It's just not the same as it was with Caroline, whose transformation somehow made her a much more interesting character.

  2. Hellooo,
    I am adoring this season Josie. I thought the first 3 episodes of the year were fantastic television with Elena's transition really reinvigorating the show in awesome ways. She was always the weakest part of the cast as far as I'm concerned but not anymore! Nina Dobrev is actually getting some material to work with now which is great!

    However, I found this episode to be the weakest of the opening stretch. I really didn't like the "cure" stuff. It's a pretty brave decision to turn Elena from a writing standpoint so I hope this is just a red herring and she won't actually get cured. But maybe that's just me.

    Also, Bonnie continues to be immensely pointless. Please turn her into the show's big bad or "greatest evil" a la Willow Rosenberg. It's just what the character needs!

  3. For what it's worth... feeding on human blood in a way that does not hurt, permanently harm or kill is a less cruel, more sustainable and more eco-friendly way of eating than that of most humans. Big-picture ethics, everyone! Bonnie's judgement and Elena's self-loathing seemed to have more to do with shaming the "good girl" for having too much fun with not-her-boyfriend than any actual morality. As Damon pointed out, Stefan's extremism actually makes him a far more dangerous vampire.

    Caroline is still the best, though.

  4. Josie,

    You aren't alone. I am having a hard time with Elena as a vampire, too. I am becoming tIred of all the bloody scenes of vampires feeding. It seems as if the show manipulates our feelings about vampires and the way they live in many different directions depending on what suits their purpose. Right now this show really has me missing Buffy in a big way. It didn't always make me feel this way either. I will stick with it for awhile, though, to see what develops because it has surprised me before with its great plot twists.

  5. Anon, I love your eco-friendly take on vampirism. Blood red is the new green, eh?

    I'm not sure how I'd feel about a cure, Billie. It might feel like cheating. I'm just not that interested in Elena's back-and-forth agony.

  6. Personally im bored and tired with Stefan blood lust crap, u were a ripper, u love blood, u cant have enough, oh shut up allready. We got it. And what really getting on my nervs its that after we learnd about the cure the very first thought was curing Elena, and i dont get why, Elena CHOSE to die , she chose Matt's life over hers. Caroline was murdered, why not cure her? If anyone deserves the cure its Caroline. Elena's character really isnt working 4 me right now, she is just annoying, her and bonney. And i dont like the special treatment she gets from everyone around her.

  7. I somewhat agree with what you said, Josie and Lik G regarding the character arcs.

    The arcs seems to be recycling.
    Enemies to frenemies to manipulation battling... and the cycle goes on.

    I'm starting to get annoyed, too.

    Though Elena's character became a vampire in the book, the take in this TV series is making her an annoying baby vampire.

    Better go back to being a human and stay there, Elena.
    You are more interesting being a human carrot for the vampires to fight over with.

    Sorry, just my two-cents.
    Not happy about it, too.

  8. NOT happy about this idea of a cure. I'd rather see Elena bite the bullet and accept being a vampire. We had so much fun with Katherine, I was hoping to see a bit mroe of that in her doppleganger!

    Intrigued by this new professor though...

  9. Now *that* was creepy. Damon's always reminded me of Spike (and Eric, and Lestat...) but I'm not sure Elena should be reminding me of Drusilla.

    I don't think I want her to get the cure though, not unless they decide to end the series. As a grand finale relieving the heroine of her burden (ala Buffy's Chosen) it could work. Partway through, it just feels like going backwards.

    Of course, I mainly just want whatever puts Elena and Damon together. And Stefan can go off with Caroline.

    (I'm wondering if the 'cure; is all a big con and will actually kill them or something...)

  10. I completely agree with Anonymous up there...Elena's method of feeding is more humane than the way most people eat! It is very true to her character that she tells each of them "this won't hurt".

    I actually thought the most ethically questionable choice Elena made this episode was not telling that girl that her drink had a roofie in in, and not compelling that guy to not to drug/rape girls!

    I also agree that Elena's shame when Bonnie catches her feeding and dancing with Damon was more about being caught in that intense moment with him than about eating people.

    Bonnie could make someone feel guilty about saving a kitten from a fire.


  11. Good points, Anon. I like that Elena is struggling (and yet making progress) to develop her own unique style of human-friendly feeding.

    I am happy to say I don't share your feelings Josie - I love a good tortured descent from goodie into blood-thirsty killer! That Elena is so very moral, and that she has two hot brothers both rooting for her in different ways just makes the evolution of her character all the more satisfying. She still has a long, long way to go before she reaches Dru/Darla-land though, and I am not sure I want her to get all the way there. That said, we already have a happy, well-adjusted new vamp in Caroline, so it might be more entertaining to see Elena switch off her humanity halfway through the season, i.e. after her first kill. Then she and Damon can go have some nasty times together while Stefan keeps trying to obtain the cure.

  12. No, Josie, it is not just you. I am struggling this season and this review helped to articulate why. I was hoping that Vampire Elena would be fun to watch; it's sad and beginning to wear a bit thin.

    I REALLY don't like the idea of a cure. For one thing, vampires are dead, right? Does this mean that the cure brings things back from the dead? How do we then distinguish newly non-dead ex-vampires from zombies? The whole thing is just yuck. I am hoping that the whole cure thing is a con, we learn that very soon and we all move on.

  13. I know I am way late to this discussion and you all probably know already what did or did not happen, but at this point I find the story quite odd.
    So we get a bunch of slayers, who are supposed to kill vampires and follow a map to a cure. For vampires. What about the ones they killed then?

    In the now with the map only completing more every time one more gets slayed, it even makes less sense to me.

    It's like giving someone a net full of oranges and saying there is a bowl to put them in. With every orange you squash you get a hint to find the bowl. When finding it, you have what... 1,2,3 oranges left?

    Yeah stupid comparison I know. And pointless. But still had to say it :P

    Thanks for the reviews, as always!

  14. Hello there, fellow TVD-ers! I love, love, LOVE your reviews, Josie. :) I'm jumping in this late, because I happen to be re-watching the show before the 5th season starts up in October. Anywhoo, my problem with this episode (and the show in general sometimes) is that everyone treats the vampires like humans, just with a slightly weird diet. No, no, no. They are *vampires*! They drink blood. They can do it without killing people (minus Stefan and his blood-aholic issues), and completely erase and even heal the victim. Also, as an Anne Rice fan, I'm a huge advocate of drinking blood of the evildoer. Let's be honest, not all humans are nice, fluffy bunny-like (<-Anya!) folks. But, again, as shown with roofie guy, drink and erase. I've got be on Damon's side on this one (to be fair, I'm usually on Damon's side). And I agree with what several others have already pointed out- Elena was having a great time until Bonnie came with her judgey little eyes. If Elena is drunk on blood, can we all just take a moment to realize Bonnie is always drunk on power?

    End rant. I love this show. These small issues are nothing on how much I look forward to watching it.


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