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Witches of East End: Art of Darkness

"I don't care! You should have told me! I can't believe you would keep a secret from me."

Ha ha ha ha haa ha ha haa ha ha ha ha ha. I couldn't help with that quote. I've watched this episode three times now, and I cracked up every single time.

If you've been reading these reviews for any length of time, then you will know that I find the lack of communication hysterical and frustrating. I can't say that line was an intentional gift from the writers to me. It probably wasn't, but I still very much enjoyed it.

Ingrid went to Freya and asked for her blessing to go out with Dash. The shocking part is that Freya told Ingrid the truth about how she was feeling. At first, I was pretty impressed. Characters lying to each other only for their true feelings to come bubbling to the surface at the worst possible time is a tried and true drama trope. But, WoEE is a show that has built itself around the characters lying to each other so I am left completely confused. On the other hand, Freya did get very upset with Freddie for not telling the truth about the twins. Maybe she truly has turned over a new leaf or maybe she has always been a firm truth teller and I am judging her by her family (because I honestly can't think of anything that she has lied about right this second).

Apparently Wendy has been married three times. Ronan is a little one dimensional and completely expected. I sincerely hope he isn't going to stick around because I rolled my eyes a lot through the Wendy and Ronan scenes. What really got to me is that Ronan is essentially selling off pieces of Wendy in his paintings. If that's not glaringly obvious symbolism that he doesn't respect her enough, then I don't know what is.

Dash and Ingrid creep me out. He was engaged and left at the altar by her sister and the grandson of her deceased ex-cult-leading-lover. Is this Art of Darknesses ick factor? While I'm talking about Dash, am I the only one that saw him killing Kyle's father from very far away? His body count continues to rise while he gets closer and closer to Ingrid. Hopefully Ingrid won't help Dash destroy Freya.

I should feel so much worse for Killian than I do. Eva, however, did a fabulous job. She was completely in control and didn't once lose her cool. Completely creepy and just like the killer in a horror movie. Acid blood in the face. Ouch. I guess we can add love potion to spell combo pack possibilities. I will say though that for a long time I was harping on how annoying it was that last season so much was made out of Freya and Killian being soul mates and this season he seemed to be able to completely forget about her and move on to Eva. I guess we have an answer about that now. He was smart enough to leave himself all those messages, but not smart enough to get out of the house while he could. And now she has upped his dosage, so I can't imagine there will be any more covert mirror messages.

3 out of 4 magical paintings. (this is the second time magical art has been displayed on this show)

Potions and brews

Frederick had a seizure in front of Wendy three weeks ago? How did that happen?

Grandfather's plans are to bring Ingrid and Freya back to Asgard. Hmm...

Tarkoff? I kept waiting for Caroline to ask about such an unusual name. They didn't. I found it odd.

Grandfather is living in Freddie's shoulder oath branding. That's not weird at all.

Wendy: "I'm sorry. I've only met her a few times. You've seen her naked."

Caroline: "I can not have dinner with your mother after I flashed her my boobs."
Freddie: "It didn't faze her, I promise. My mother is the most non-judgmental person you'll ever meet. She's seen it all."
Caroline: "Exactly."

Caroline: "I'm so sorry that you saw my breasts."
Joanna: "I didn't see anything."
Caroline: "Really?
Joanna: "I saw everything, but guys it's okay. It's all smooth sailing from here."
Caroline: "I really do like your son."
Joanna: "Good. Maybe between you, me and your breasts we can convince him to stay in town."

Freya: "You were married three times?"
Wendy: "Yeah. The first two times were really great. The last time, not so much."

Wendy: "I got shot point blank by someone you scammed!"
What's that? Death number six? Seven?


  1. Poor Ingrid. First she gets violated by the Mandragora and now she has a real winner for a boyfriend. Eww.
    Was nice seeing James Marsters. At this rate he can date Ingrid next.
    Eddie McClintock from Warehouse 13 was kinda fun as Ronan. Another bad boyfriend.
    That's a theme for this show right?
    Plus really bad girlfriends to even out the gender score. Eva is scary.

  2. LaureMack, I gave up on this show a couple of eps ago, but I'm still enjoying your reviews! They're a lot more fun than sitting through the episodes these days.

  3. The Eva/Killian thing is creeping me out, and so is Dash, who is darksiding even further in every episode. Ingrid has terrible luck with guys and warlocks as well as blue rapey monsters.

    Frederick is more interesting than I thought he would be. He's not a force for good, but he saved Wendy last week and refused to hurt his mom this week. I wonder if suicide really is the only way to take out the king?

    I'm actually happy I gave the show another shot. There isn't a lot of depth in it, granted, but it's weirdly fun.


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