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Vampire Diaries: Detoured on Some Backwoods Path to Hell

“Get the kids out of the car seats. Let’s go summon the devil.”

The two magical twins are adorable little McGuffins this week, as everyone—including the police—scrambles to find them before the Sirens can feed them to Cade in exchange for freedom.

Also, there was stuff with Enzo. After what appears to be six hours (give or take) of happiness with Bonnie, Enzo got mind-jacked by Sybil again, this time with extra blood and guts. Stefan mindwalking through Enzo’s brain and, essentially, conference-calling Sybil was interesting, but I felt like this portion of the episode dragged. Perhaps it was just my distaste for scenes of flesh being pulled out of someone’s stomach.

It all led to Stefan saving everyone while double-crossing them and playing savior. He sent Caroline and Alaric to an abandoned motel in order to make a trade with Sybil, Seline, and Damon. He got attacked in the creepiest motel hallway this side of a horror movie. (This episode was all about the gore, wasn’t it?) He got tricked by Damon into killing someone. Is “brotherly irony” an official form of irony? Is it listed in Quintilian?

Regardless, it’s all part of Damon’s plan to exploit the hell loophole. The scheming between the Siren sisters was a nice parallel to the double-crossiness of the Salvatores, although Damon’s plan seemed more predicated on knowledge of Stefan’s character, while Sybil’s was just about getting what she wanted now rather than later and paying back her sister for not putting Sybil first.

My favorite part and least favorite parts of this episode were the Alaric/Caroline moments. Caroline’s no-nonsense Mama Bear attitude after her daughters were abducted was a great return to her uncompromising control freak character, especially when she told Stefan that she would kill Damon if he “got between [her] and [her] girls.”

Alaric was uncompromising, too. When Stefan told him that Enzo was in pain, Ric said he didn’t care. And why should he? His children were missing. He had other things to worry about. Did that excuse him yelling at Caroline? No. Nothing excuses him yelling at Caroline.

Do I agree that some of this is Caroline’s fault? Not really. The twins being mystical has nothing to do with her, and she’s a good mom who should be more involved in her children’s lives (as she wants to be) rather than less.

Especially now that Stefan has a new job as a Cade acolyte, with just 24 hours of freedom left, and Damon is dead. If this were a subtler show, I’d say that Cade has such power that he made Alaric want to kill his former best friend, and thus reap Damon’s soul into hell that way. But this is not a subtle show, and I think Alaric just “wanted to kill something all day.” Must be Friday.

Bites and Pieces:

• Alaric: “Somehow, in all your scheming, you’ve missed just how far I’m willing to go.”

• Damon: “Child sacrifice is a little hardcore, don’t you think?”

• Damon: “I have been with you for almost five hours, and in that time you’ve almost been captured by the bumbling human authorities not once, but twice.”

• Caroline: “You promised me a June wedding.”

• Matt: “Sometimes it makes me want to fight back.” Finally, someone is taking the initiative and not just waiting for the next bad supernatural event!

• With all the talk of the girls needing training, “time and guidance,” and so on, does anyone think TVD is setting us up for another time-jump? Bonnie and Matt are the only two people who would age over decade-long jump.

Two out of four Amber Alerts.

Josie Kafka is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)


  1. I honestly didn't know what to think about what's next, although I could see the Salvatore brothers replacing the Saltzman twins coming a mile away and I'm reasonably certain the star of the show won't stay dead. And I got where Alaric was coming from with the "getting away from vampires" thing, but you're right, Josie -- the kids are mystical witches. If Alaric takes them far away from vampire trouble, won't it inevitably take them closer to witch trouble?

    I'm ready for Bonnie and Enzo to HEA. Enough suffering.

    Every time there are Alaric scenes, I think about Matt Davis wanting to leave the show, having his own show briefly, and coming back, undoubtedly for financial reasons. At least this is the last season.

    Really enjoyed your review, Josie. Only you would casually put in a reference to Quintilian. :)

  2. I bet Damon will spring back to life the moment the agreement with Cade goes live so to speak.


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