Supernatural: Mint Condition

"Pantro is mine."

Clever and funny, but I suspect this episode was lost on me. I just don't like horror movies, especially of the Hatchet Man "Time to slice and dice!" kind.

But Dean loves them, which was the point. Fighting a horror movie monster come to life got him out of his room, and out of his understandable funk about being possessed by Michael. Or more accurately, Sam was able to use a bizarre action figure case to lure Dean out of his room. It was almost like an actual hunting holiday for Dean, a case that was pretty much wall to wall fun for him.

The geek store location made the episode feel a bit like one of their meta episodes, even though it wasn't. Or was it? It was a horror movie involving a bunch of geeks who loved horror movies, inside Supernatural, which is a horror series, right? I did particularly enjoy the sight gags: the boys ducking down in the car as Stuart's mother came out of the house, Dean with the hatchet. Sam blowing up a door with a Scooby-Doo lunch box was, like, the best thing ever. The hospital scenes in the second half actually mimicked the identical ones in the All Saints Day movie they were watching, to the point that I was confused about what was happening on television, and what was happening on television.

I didn't care at all for Stuart, the nerd slash internet troll with rage issues, but I don't think we were supposed to care about Stuart. Who steals from a friend? I did love that Stuart's facial injuries looked exactly like he was attacked by an action figure, though. And I did really like Stuart's good friend Dirk, who bonded with Dean as they were doing a lengthy analysis of the All Saints Day movies while guarding Stuart in the hospital. And it was nice that comic book store owner Samantha got to connect with Sam. And total fun that Sam gave Samantha "the talk," right before Dean gave Dirk "the talk."

And I give the director/producers/writers big points for the horror movie score that we could hear throughout the entire episode. If you're going to do a Halloween episode, do a Halloween episode, guys.

Bits:

— There was a Hell Hazers 3 poster on the wall of the shop in the first few minutes. That's from season two's wonderful "Hollywood Babylon."

— Dean finally found out why Sam hates Halloween, and it was all about dating humiliation vomiting while bobbing for apples, nothing really about the holiday itself.

— Aaron Paul Stewart (Dirk) also played a frat boy in season ten's "Halt & Catch Fire."

— This week: Salem, Ohio, and Smash Pow Comics.

— Dean and Sam were nerdy insurance adjusters Ian Gillan and Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple) who worked for Campbell & Sons Insurance. Bruce Campbell of the Evil Dead series? Or was that a reference to Mary's maiden name?

— I loved the pocket protectors and Dean's glasses. I was actually thinking that their extreme nerd clothes were a pretty good costume for monster hunters.

Quotes, which was the best part of the episode:

Samantha: "... According to Yelp and this awesome one star review we just got, you screamed at a customer and called him a, quote, 'mongoloid tribble in a robotic exoskeleton built by Tony Stark's inbred third cousin.' Which is not cool, and weirdly, creepily specific."

Sam: "Oh, yes. I shaved."
Dean: "I mean, it's so smooth. It's like a dolphin's belly."

Dean: "What do you care. You don't even like scary movies."
Sam: "Well, yeah, Dean. Our life is a scary movie."
Dean: "Exactly."

Dean: (re: Samantha) "She's like your twin."
Sam: "What are you talking about?"
Dean: "Her soft delicate features, luxurious hair, she's like your wonder twin."
She was wearing a plaid shirt, too.

Dean: "Merle?"
Sam: "M-I-R-L. Meet in Real Life."
Dean: "Why do you know what that means?"

Sam: "I think I know why Stuart changed his story. The comments on his video are pretty brutal. People are calling him a liar, a loser, ThunderSpaz, Snarf's love child, Panthro's b..."
Dean: "Rhymes with itch?"
Sam: "Yeah."
Dean: "Gotta love the internet, where everyone can be a dick."

Dean: "Everything is not fine."
Sam: "Yeah. My first clue was a flying chainsaw."

Dean: "I like to watch movies where I know the bad guy is going to lose."
Wow, that makes sense.

Sam: "All right, listen to me. Ghosts are real and they can possess things, people, toys, chainsaws, and apparently, lifesized figurines."

Dirk: "If ghosts are real, does that mean vampires…"
Dean: "Yep."
Dirk: "Witches?"
Dean: "Uh huh."
Dirk: "Werewolves?"
Dean: "Unless it's Godzilla, it's real."

Dean: "Next year we're doing Halloween right, okay? I'm thinking matching outfits, like uh... Batman and Robin."
Sam: "No."
Dean: "Bert and Ernie."
Sam: "No."
Dean: "That's weird."
Sam: "Yes."
Dean: "Uh... Rocky and Bullwinkle."
Sam: "Dean…"
Dean: "Shaggy and Scooby!"
Sam: "Why would we..."
Dean: "Turner and Hooch. Ren and Stimpy."
Sam: "Come on, now."
Dean: "Thelma and Louise. We just put it in drive, and go."
I'm going to try to ignore the double suicide implications there. Personally, I'd go for Rocky and Bullwinkle. It would be a nice tribute to Crowley.

A lot of fun, although it was not my sort of thing. What would that make it? Three out of four pocket protectors?

Billie
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Billie Doux has been reviewing Supernatural for so long that Dean and Sam Winchester feel like old friends. Courageous, adventurous, gorgeous old friends.

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