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Supernatural: Don't Go in the Woods

"When in doubt, lie."

The boys went on a monster hunt in Iowa, while Jack hung out at home and went shopping. Guess who got in the most trouble?

Before I begin, you've almost certainly heard the announcement that Supernatural will end next year with season fifteen. OMG. I was actually working on this review when I heard the news. Which is why it's a bit late. I might have lost heart, just a little bit. We knew the show would end someday, but it was still a shock.

Okay, moving on.

The A plot centered on a whistling, cannibalistic monster with super-bad heartburn. Actually, I thought the Kohonta was just a different flavor (pun intended) of wendigo, but nobody mentioned wendigos. I'll freely admit that wendigos don't whistle, but it still felt like one to me. And honestly, turning someone into a Kohonta as a super duper punishment seems like a stupid thing for the tribal elder to do, since they created a monster that would prey on them. But I digress.

Sheriff Mason (Adam Beach) and his son Tom got some significant screen time. Tom nearly died because he didn't know what the Kohonta was. After they gave him "the Talk," Sheriff Mason asked the Winchesters why they didn't tell the world about monsters so that people could defend themselves. This is pretty much the eternal, unanswerable Supernatural question. Really, why? Is it because people who know the truth tend to die? Come on. Hunters certainly die, too, and nearly always too young.

It probably would have made sense storywise if Tom Mason had died, but they didn't really come down on one side or the other. Is it knowledge that kills you, or lack of knowledge? Dean was of the opinion that people are simply happier if they don't know, and maybe this is edging into philosophy, which is not my strong suit. In the end, Sam told Sheriff Mason to tell his son the truth, mostly because thematically, the Winchesters, as Jack's "parents," needed to tell Jack the truth, too.

Sam said he was good, that he was okay, but he really wasn't. You know, I think I would have enjoyed an episode about Sam on some sort of weird vacation getaway that didn't involve hunting, but the evil kept finding him anyway. And if I'm woolgathering and not talking about the episode, it's not a good sign.

On to the B plot, which was Jack hanging out with Stacy, Max and Eliot from the episode "Lebanon," and even though it seemed like fun at first, it was so obvious that something bad was going to happen. Poor Jack is only two years old. He's never had friends, never gone to school, never been anything resembling normal, and all he wanted was to be friends. He seemed a lot like Jeff Bridges in Starman at first, sweet and harmless, unfamiliar with the world. But then he wanted to impress them, to be a Jedi knight with the angel blade. Just like what happened with the security guard, Jack nearly killed Stacy because he was drunk with his own power and wouldn't listen to Max screaming at him to stop.

We've had a lot of time to get to know Jack and to like him, and I don't want him to go bad, but that feels like our destination, doesn't it? As Jack himself acknowledged, he's different than before. Without the weight of his soul, Jack seems mostly happy. (Sounds familiar.) Donatello said that if Jack seems okay, he probably is. Wrong.

It's interesting that Jack still cares about hunting, much like soulless Sam. I don't remember if Sam remembered how he felt when he was soulless, back in season seven. That might be a help. Funny how it hasn't come up.


— Stacy and Max are a cute couple. I think they were just hinting at the possibility in "Lebanon" since Max was new to town.

— Did Jack think there was a way to get a real ID when he's only two years old?

— Yay for the mention of Ghostfacers! There was a shot of their video mentioning the Winchesters. And I'm remembering that the three kids know the Winchesters as the Campbells.

—- Eliot looked a lot better without his hat, much like Jared Padalecki. Eliot is obsessed with the hunting. I was thinking he'd end up a hunter, although nearly losing Stacy might have turned him off.

— This week: Polk City, Iowa, Big Creek State Park.

— Mini hiatus. The next episode airs April 4. This season is a little shorter, too; only four more to go.


Dean: "Morning, sunshine. What you looking at? Porn? Sex tapes? Nip slips?"
Sam: "The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?"
Dean: "Not my internet."

Dean: "Good reading?"
Jack: "Yes. Did you know article 246 of the Haitian criminal code officially makes it against the law to turn a human into a zombie?"
Dean: "Good?"

Max: "Hey, it's cool. We know. About the whole hunter thing."
Jack: "Oh. Good. I don't like to lie. It makes my stomach hurt. Like, when you have to burp but you can't burp."
I really liked how Alexander Calvert delivered this line, how it emphasized that Jack simply has no filter.

Stacy: "I feel… bad for him."
Max: "Same. I mean, living with a bunch of dudes. Their whole place must smell like beer, Kleenex and Old Spice."
Beer and Old Spice I sort of get, but Kleenex?

Jack: "Dean says any music made after 1979 'sucks ass'."
Max: "That's because Dean is also old."
I know it's become a thing where the Winchesters are referred to as old because the series has gone on so long and they're not in their twenties any more, but I really hate it. Maybe I'm feeling my age.

(The Kohonta dissolves into green goop)
Dean: "Whoah. That was like full on Raiders."
I thought this sounded familiar, and voila. Dean has said this line before, in "The Vessel."

I didn't like this one quite as much as last week's Pleasantville episode. The monster was icky, the boys were unhappy, and I don't like seeing Jack lose his way. Two out of four silver blades.

And Supernatural is ending! OMG!

Billie Doux has been reviewing Supernatural for so long that Dean and Sam Winchester feel like old friends. Courageous, adventurous, gorgeous old friends.


  1. "Beer and Old Spice I sort of get, but Kleenex?"

    It's a masturbation joke. Not in the best taste, but that's probably realistic for what was supposed to be teenagers talking.

  2. TheShadowKnows, thanks, I'm sure you're right. Bleah.

  3. "Yay for the mention of Ghostbusters!"

    Don't you mean the Ghostfacers?

  4. Gary, you're absolutely right. I can't believe I misstyped that. Fixed!

  5. Not my favorite episode and I don't have much else to say.


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