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Forever Knight: Father Figure

"You know I have to really stop getting shot; sometime, someone's going to notice for good."

In a blatant attempt to cram Punky Brewster into a show that talks about sex a lot, we learn that kids and vampires don't mix.

Sometimes you can tell the producers and writers weren't all on the same page about what kind of show Forever Knight was supposed to be. More than half of the episodes open with lingerie and affairs. A few open with suicide. It aired during a special late-ish time slot called "Crimetime after Primetime," which graced the screen with more naughty images and some sensual saxophone.

Someone wasn't thinking along those lines when they decided to write an episode about a plucky little girl who shakes up the precinct and adorably saves the day. This sort of thematic mismatch happens now and then on the show. Part of the charm, honestly, but it throws you off if you tuned in expecting to see someone throw off their bra.

On the other hand, this episode does a good job exploring the reality of being a vampire, and gets into some interesting ideas about bringing children across, so I can't hate it. I also think the flashbacks are cool because the cast looks dynamite in their period outfits.

I don't know how the police operate in Toronto, but apparently Nick's apartment is the most secure location they've got; every time someone's in trouble they get stashed in his living room. It's pretty troubling here, since most of us would object to sending a little girl to stay alone with a single man. That's kind of weird. The nanny shows up for a few minutes, but they don't bring her along. Also weird.

But it's a good setup for Nick exploring his feelings about having children, something he can't do. La Croix acts like he's above that sort of thing, but he's not. He just makes his own children. Of course, his vampire children don't quite satisfy him, so maybe he's got just as many paternal feelings as Nick. Meanwhile, Nick and Janette, like good vampires, try to keep their parental urges stuffed down deep.

If you enjoy watching opening credits like me (I have no friends) then you'll notice this one's directed by the legendary Gary Farmer. He plays Captain Stonetree, of course. Sometimes it's hard to tell the different directors apart, every episode kind of looks the same, but Farmer came up with some unique shots of Nick's apartment, which had to take a lot of creativity. Most of the episode takes place in that one location, and it's where most of the series is filmed, so finding new angles allowed Gary Farmer to give this episode a distinct look and feel.

Flashback

England. The Blitz. WWII. Our vampire friends are... well, I'm not sure. Nick and La Croix are in military uniforms, which I don't get. It's not like they could get through basic training without going outside during the day. And they spend all their time in a cool mansion. It's a neat flashback with classy imagery, but I'm not sure it makes sense.

The real meat of the flashback is when they befriend a kid and talk about bringing him across. La Croix calls it an "experiment," and we see how cold he really is. To him, everyone else on the planet is just an insect in a jar.

Quotes

"Let's get together and fight the forces of evil!" (Spoiler: They don't.)

"After a few hours with that little angel, you'll probably get the biological urge to have some of your own... . How old are you anyway?"
"I'm a lot older than I was five minutes ago."
"The right age."

Little Bites

-Familiar Faces: Little Lisa can be seen in a movie where she befriends a Yeti and tries to defend it from Meat Loaf. It's called To Catch a Yeti. I'm not kidding.

-Vampire Lore: Apparently Nick's gotten to where he can be seen in mirrors. Also, he feels pain for the first time. These are fun landmarks on the road to becoming human, but the show really doesn't stay on that road. More conversations like this one would have been great.

-Sometimes bullets pass right through Nick, and his clothes, like he's a ghost. This time he was able to use his body as a human shield, and the bullet (intended for Lisa) lodged itself in his abdomen.

-Wasting time: Today's Eurominutes courtesy of Nick putting on a special shirt to ladle blood from a barrel into empty wine bottles. I'm pretty sure he borrowed the shirt from Jerry Seinfeld.



-Lots of no-kids shaming going on here. And some work-shaming, if that's a thing. They really are hard on Lisa's dad for having a job where he's away a lot, but it's not like he's a villain. He's just trying to pay the bills.

-Canadian bad guys with very Canadian accents are just not scary. If I ever get in trouble with the Canadian mafia I'm going to totally die, because I'll laugh my butt off every time they threaten me.

Final Analysis: Eye-rolling kids stuff combined with interesting vampire lore. 3 out of 5 stolen comic books.

Adam D. Jones is a writer, musician, and medievalist who feels a kinship for vampires because his sensitive eyes that make it difficult to go outside during the day.

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