Hogfather by Terry Pratchett (Discworld 20)

"DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT."

Book twenty heralds the return of Death's granddaughter Susan Sto Helit. So of course, we also have Death himself, and his manservant Albert, all involved in shenanigans surrounding the holiday of Hog's Watch, the Discworld version of Christmas. But all is not so jolly this time.

The auditors of reality, who we first met in Reaper Man, are back. And they want the Hogfather to be dealt with. To do so, they hire the assassin's guild of Ankh-Morpork. So, Mister Johnathon Teatime, or Teh-ah-tim-eh, as he prefers it to be pronounced, is chosen for the job. Oddly, he's already concocted a plan to assassinate the Hogfather. He also has plans for taking out the Soul Cake Duck, the Tooth Fairy, and Death, among other mythological figures, as he's quite an unusual person. He's a nasty piece of work, much like Vorbis from Small Gods and Lord Hong from Interesting Times. He's ruthless and creepy and even his hired goons are leery of the strange and evil man. He's someone you love to hate, so he makes an excellent antagonist.

Death is doing the Hogfather's job as the latter has been indisposed. Death quite likes people, so he was happy to help deal with the Hogfather's absence. Albert becomes his main pixie helper for this, since elves on the Disc are nasty pieces of work as we learned about in Lords and Ladies, so they don't call them elves like we do for Santa Claus here on roundworld. He takes the job very seriously although it seems he has issues with the "Ho Ho Ho" part of the role, judging by Albert's opinions anyway. He's both trying to keep faith in the Hogfather alive and for the positive interactions with people he craves. As usual, he goes a bit too far at times, but he means well.

Susan starts the book employed as a governess by the Gaiters. She found it's a job she's good at, and there's not that many opportunities for a young noblewoman. She's trying to return to a normal life, but this of course doesn't last long. The Death of Rats is the first to see Death acting as the Hogfather, and he worries about him slipping into a funk again, so Quoth the Raven is again brought in as a kind of translator and between their efforts to convince her, and Susan encountering her grandfather as he slides down the Gaiters' chimney as a rather unusual take on the Hogfather, she feels she has to intervene.

UU is also involved in the proceedings, and as amusing as always. Archchancellor Ridcully spies the newly created Verruca Gnome when it tries to give him a verruca, and Susan seeks them out once she discovers Bilious, the Oh God of Hangovers at the bone palace of the Hogfather and wants him to help her understand what exactly is going on, which is difficult when he's having multiple simultaneous hangovers. They soon discover that they can call all kinds of things into being, from the baldness fairy to the monster that devours socks, and those are just a few examples of the strange entities being called up. There's excess belief going around, thanks to the situation with the Hogfather, so some rather amusing entities come into being due to that fact.

This book is where Sir Terry makes it obvious that he is not a fan of how Hans Christian Andersen's Little Match Girl turns out. In his role as the Hogfather, Death saves her in a very touching scene as pictured below this paragraph. Of course, the humor comes back when the angels sent for her are repelled by an eager Albert pelting them with snowballs. A key part of this particular scene is that even crusty and cantankerous Albert sees the flaw in the idea that the original story presents, once he speaks of it out loud to his master. This is a powerful and moving section of the story and one I wish more people would consider when confronted with the idea of "at least it's not us!"

I can't adequately express how much I love this scene.

Between Death trying to be the Hogfather, and mostly succeeding despite himself at times, the involvement of the tooth fairies, Teatime's rather nasty disposition and how he treats his henchmen, Susan being practical and interesting while also being very annoyed most of the time, the book progresses through amusing situations that don't back away from the real issues that wealth inequality cause, until it reaches its delightful conclusion. A great mix of fun and serious moments take us on a grand trip through this enjoyable novel.

This interaction between Death and Susan is too important to not post as well:

"All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

The similarities between this and Reaper Man are present, but it also stands out from that book quite significantly. The examination of holiday traditions, the unfairness of rich people getting even more while poor people get next to nothing, the idea of belief creating things, much like in Small Gods, all mixed in with humor and wit like Sir Terry always does, makes it another true gem of a book.

4 mythical manifestations of cultural concepts out of 4.

Some fun quotes:

"You can't give her that!" she screamed. "It's not safe!"
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
"She's a child!" shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
"What if she cuts herself?"
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON."

"She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella."

“And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done... which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions."

Morella is a Gen Xer who likes strange things a bit too much.

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