TiMER

"Are you tired of sitting around, waiting for love? Your days of watching and wondering are over. Say goodbye to heartache and disappointments. Now you can be on the clock. True love, on a schedule."

One of my favorite ways to find movies and shows to watch is to take a look at the credits list of an actor I like, and then find something that a) I've never heard of and b) has halfway decent reviews. That's how Olivia Williams led me to Counterpart, Scoot McNairy led me to Monsters and Narcos: Mexico, and Emma Thompson led me to Years and Years*. I discovered TiMER** thanks to Emma Caulfield, a.k.a. Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a.k.a. my favorite character from the Buffyverse.

In Timer, Caulfield plays Oona, a serially single 29-year-old woman who has her life otherwise well in order. She wakes early to jog in Los Angeles' perpetual sunshine (the part of L.A. being played its Hollywood fantasy version, where it's all sunshine and no traffic), lives with her step-sister/best friend Steph, and appears to be successful and satisfied with her career as an orthodontist. The only thing missing is, inevitably, her One True Love.

Timer puts its own unique, sci-fi spin on the standard "single gal looking for love" storyline by introducing a device that provides a countdown to when a person will meet their soulmate. A faux commercial explains that if your soulmate also has a Timer implanted, each of you will be able to see the exact number of days left before you meet (the less you think about the scientific and logistical details, the better). At midnight on that day, your Timers will each "zero out," leading to the moment when your eyes meet for the first time, as each of your Timers chime in confirmation.

Aww, how romantic! How convenient! How... weird and potentially very, very problematic?

While the Timer has done wonders for some people (Oona and Steph's parents included), other people's Timers have given them information that is less than ideal. Steph is spending the decade-plus years left on her Timer having one-night stands and "[hanging] out with old people because they don't have Timers." Then there is their brother Jesse, who unenthusiastically gets a Timer implanted when he turns fourteen, only to learn that he will meet his soulmate in three days. "He doesn't even have chest hair, and he just met the girl he's supposed to grow old with."

Oona's own Timer is relentlessly blank, meaning that even if her soulmate is out there, he hasn't had a Timer implanted. The nerve! So Oona is stumbling through her dating life as a "recurring" customer at the Timer store, dragging one boyfriend after another to get a Timer implanted. Time and again, she learns that her prospective One was someone else's all along.

Frustrated by another failure and irritated by Jesse's three-day countdown, Oona decides that it's time to give a one-night stand a try with Mikey, the dopily flirtatious but much younger checkout clerk at her local grocery store.

Mikey, played by John Patrick Amedori, making excellent use of his puppy-dog-eyed hipster vibe, has four months left on his Timer. "Four long months," he stresses to Oona. She's tempted, then thinks the better of it, and then thinks the better of that...

Their one-night stand quickly evolves into something more, as the two fall into the giggly rhythms of a new romance. Before long, Oona is wearing Mikey's shirts and playing his drums, when she's not joining his roommates on the couch for some quality video game time. They're compatible and adorable , but Oona can't get past the lack of a "guarantee" from Mikey's Timer. "I've slept with a total of four men in my life, and each time, I've had to face the very real possibility of losing them," she tells him. "And with you, it's actually not a possibility. It's an absolute certainty."

They're one of those couples who thrive as long as they stay in their private universe of two, snuggling and making nonsensical pillow talk ("you're the shut up" may be my favorite line in the film) or playing an imaginary game of "orthodontist" ("you have spectacular teeth... you've got a femur in the way back"). But the more their relationship expands to include others, such as Oona's family, the more they run into friction. Steph doesn't hide her skepticism about Oona's new relationship, and Oona's attempts to present Mikey as something that he's not ("we met at one of his concerts... his band is very successful!") suggest that he doesn't quite live up to the image she has of an ideal partner.

Of the two, Oona may be more mature and worldly, but she seems to have outsourced her own heart's desires to the dictates of the Timer. Mikey's relative immaturity is coupled with the emotional clarity that Oona lacks. Their Timer-related stumbling blocks may be science fiction, but their relationship will resonate with anyone who has been in a relationship that feels magical until it bumps uncomfortably into reality.

The success of any romantic comedy always depends on the chemistry of the leads, and Caulfield and Amedori have plenty. My favorite scene is when, after a few false starts, Oona is watching a band at Steph's bar, and she recognizes Mikey as the band's drummer. She smiles, and he looks up to see her smiling, then smiles himself as they continue to look at each other across the crowd, each suddenly aware of exactly where the night will lead. With or without a Timer, the moment feels destined.

* I recommend all of those with the exception of Years and Years, which is set in a dystopian future that's much too close to our current reality to be enjoyable.
** While the name of the film and the device is "TiMER", I'll be referring to it as "Timer," largely so that I don't feel like I am shoutING throughout the review.

Bits and Pieces:

— Kali Rocha, who played Halfrek on Buffy, plays a Timer technician.

— Gossip Girl fans will recognize John Patrick Amedori, who played Serena's boyfriend Aaron, as well as Desmond Harrington, playing a potential love interest for Steph, without an ounce of Jack Bass's sleaziness. Both actors play characters in Timer that are at least ten times more appealing than their Gossip Girl characters.

— Mikey's roommates and members of his band, "Truckbeef", are played by the real-life punk band "The Henry Clay People," while Truckbeef is the name of Timer's production company.

— The only official soundtrack consists of composer Andrew Kaiser's gentle instrumentals, full of twinkling melodies that sound like lullabies in fairyland. The film also features a good number of indie gems from the late aughts, like Sufjan Stevens and Iron & Wine. I made an unofficial soundtrack playlist, in case any other fans want a musical reminder of simpler times.

Quotes:

Mikey: "I see your Timer's blank."
Oona: "And?"
Mikey: "Nothing! You're sweating your future, though, right? That's a shame. 'Cuz you could have a much more exciting present if you really wanted."

Oona: "Did he have a Timer?"
Steph: "Of course he had a Timer. Come on. Timerless guys are so angsty and conflicted. Boys with built-in expiration dates, now they wanna sow their oats. Multiple, tantric oats."

Oona: "You know, Romeo and Juliet were fourteen when they found each other."
Steph: "Mmm. If only life were more like theater camp."

Oona: "What time do you get off?"
Mikey: "What?"
Oona: "Do you want me to repeat it?"
Mikey: "Yes, into the loudspeaker, if you don't mind."

Mikey: "So, what do you do?"
Oona: "Orthodontist."
Mikey: "Far out, like a dentist?"
Oona: "Yeah... only an orthodontist."

Mikey: "See, that's what's stupid about the Timer. It says you have one path, and you can't take detours. I mean, life is about detours."
Oona: "Okay, you know what? You sound like a credit card commercial. I'm looking for my One, and you're not him."

Steph: "Was it as magical as you hoped?"
Oona: "You know, it doesn't all have to be chemistry from the jump. Feelings can grow over time."
Steph: "Yeah, sparks are fleeting. Nothing to talk about can last a lifetime."

Steph: "It only happens once, so we're due."
Oona: "Yeah... but, do you think that they thought like that? That it only happens once. Before the Timer? I'm just saying, like, the expression 'first love' does imply there's seconds and thirds."

Oona: "What are you doing here?"
Mikey: "I wanted to see you again."
Oona: "Why?"
Mikey: (shrugs)
Oona: "You make a strong case."

Overall Rating:

Fans of Emma Caulfield will not be disappointed, as her warmth and deadpan comic skills are both showcased by dialogue that's as funny as it is relatable. It's not a perfect film; certain go-nowhere gags and plot lines seem like they may have suffered in the editing room, and the ending appears to be divisive. Nonetheless, I love the way it explores universal emotional truths by way of a fictional device, and the various relationships, romantic and otherwise, have a natural rhythm, supported by a script that respects each character's choices and doesn't pick sides in the Timer debate.

Three and a half out of four days left on my Timer,

Mothra

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