Doctor Who: Tales of the TARDIS

"Time is memory, and memory is time."

The 60th Anniversary of Doctor Who has officially kicked off with the release of Tales of the TARDIS on BBC iPlayer.

I'm not crying. You're crying.

Doctor Who: The TV Movie

"By midnight tonight, this planet will be pulled inside out."

After seven years in the wilderness (we'll ignore 'Dimensions in Time'), Doctor Who finally returned to television screens in 1996 with this TV Movie, also known as ‘The Enemy Within’. Intended as a backdoor pilot for a potential new series, this joint production between the BBC, Universal and Fox saw Sylvester McCoy pass the torch to Paul McGann’s new Doctor. Despite strong ratings in Britain, it flopped in the US and all plans for the new series were scrapped. It would be another nine years before the BBC tried to revive Doctor Who again and with considerably more success.

Doctor Who: Survival

"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do."

It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for.

Sort of.

Doctor Who: The Curse of Fenric

"We play the contest again, Time Lord."

Is this the single best story of the McCoy era? I certainly used to think that when I was younger. Now? Not so much.

Doctor Who: Ghost Light

"Is this an asylum with the patients in charge?"

Taking place in a creepy Victorian mansion, home to an eccentric collection of creeps, weirdos and monsters, 'Ghost Light' is a semi-successful attempt to recapture the glory days of the show's Gothic era under Robert Holmes and Philip Hinchcliffe.

Doctor Who: Battlefield

"Tell them I've retired. Tell them I've decided to fade away."

Doctor Who takes on the Matter of Britain and makes a right dog's dinner of it.

Doctor Who: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

"It was naff and it was boring."

You've hit the nail right on the head there, Ace.

Doctor Who: Silver Nemesis

"Hello, I'm the Doctor! I believe you want to kill me?"

This was the story chosen to celebrate Doctor Who's silver jubilee in 1988. Why? I have no idea. Probably because it had silver in the title. Certainly wasn't because it was any good.

Doctor Who: The Happiness Patrol

"I can hear the sound of empires toppling."

Some people will try to tell you that 'The Happiness Patrol' is an unsung masterpiece, a subversive work of satirical genius that really stuck it to Thatcher and the Tories. Do not listen to these people. 'The Happiness Patrol' is rubbish.

Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks

"CRUSH THE LESSER RACES! CONQUER THE GALAXY! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING!!!"

Doctor Who celebrated its 25th birthday in 1988 and to mark the occasion we were treated to... what, not 'Remembrance of the Daleks'? The f**k?

Doctor Who: Dragonfire

"This is naff. This is mega naff."

'Dragonfire' brings Sylvester McCoy's atrocious first season to a suitably atrocious end. But on the plus side it does introduce Ace and write out Mel so it ain't all bad.

Doctor Who: Delta and the Bannermen

"Love has never been noted for its rationality."

Like the rest of McCoy’s first season, 'Delta and the Bannermen' is terrible. To be fair, it's the least terrible of the lot, but terrible nonetheless.

Doctor Who: Paradise Towers

It's acting, Jim, but not as we know it. 

"No yellows. All unalive now."

Like so many Doctor Who stories for this era, 'Paradise Towers' is one with some interesting ideas that are poorly executed. Very, very poorly.

Doctor Who: Time and the Rani

His face says it all.

"I've had enough of this drivel."

That makes two of us.