Lost Girl: Sleeping Beauty School

"Holy Portia DeGeneres Shakira David Lee Roth!"

Now that everyone has their memories back Operation: "Just where the F**k is Bo?" is now in full swing. So where in the world is Carmen Sandiego Ysabeau Dennis?

Well, it seems that she's on a train. A train that is not on this physical plain. Hmm, make sense. I mean, you can't exactly call yourself the Wanderer and at the same time have a fixed abode. But this train also seems to be alive, judging by the way it shakes and moans. Is the Wanderer the train? Is Bo's father really Thomas the Tank Engine? I should've known. There was always something sinister about that locomotive.

Back in the real world, the search for Bo is moving along at an agonisingly slow pace. Dyson and Hale wasted most of the episode looking for, and then running around with, Eddie the Elemental, which ultimately proved to be a colossal waste of time since Eddie was an outdated tracker having been in a coma for hundreds of years. It was a good thing that guy got splattered by a train when he did because if I had to put up with him for another minute I would've found a way to crossover into this fictional universe and shove that umbrella of his right where the sun don't shine.

Why couldn't Dyson have teamed up with the ghost of Jenny Schuster sooner? She may have suspiciously flawless skin and be secretly working for Vex, but the girl knows her stuff (and looks simply adorable in Hale's hat). Without her they never would've gotten onto the train Bo is being kept on. Well, was being kept on. Please tell me the next episode isn't going to be Dyson and Clio roaming around the train only to find out at the last minute that she's not there?

While the search for the succubus continues to be a work in progress, Operation: "Have you seen my Valkyrie?" was brought to a swift, although not 100% satisfactory, conclusion. After more than a month of searching Dyson was finally able to locate Tammy Tam. And where did he find her? Well right in the last place that he saw her. The very same spot that he has been visiting for a month. That's right, a freakin' month! I'm starting to wonder how Dyson ever got a detective's shield. With this guy on the case it will be mid-season before they find Bo.

Tamsin may have been found, but she is not the woman she once was. Thanks to that kooky Valkyrie biology of hers, Tam Tam has regenerated into feral child mode with no memories of her past life. Typical, you wait a whole season for some decent Kenzi/Tamsin interaction and when it finally happens one of them gets turned into a kid. Fingers crossed those growth sprouts she’s going through mean it won’t be too long before she’s back to being Rachel Skarsten size again.

Lauren and her horrible wig are hiding out in Ronny's diner and making friends with Crystal, a woman with no clue how to be subtle. Seriously, she might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says "I want to have the sex with you. Yes, you, Amber or whatever your real name is". Normally I wouldn't find anything at all suspicious about a beautiful woman wanting to get into Lauren's pants She is, after all, a beautiful women herself as well as an adorkable little nerd with the cutest smile. But that wig is so off putting that I can only fathom that Crystal is hanging out with her because she's a spy. But for who?

Fae of the Week

Eddymion and Clio are both Elementals, mythical being in the works of Paracelsus. There are four elemental categories: Gnomes (earth), Undines (water), Sylphs (air), and Salamanders (fire). Endymion is likely a reference to character of the same name from Greek myth, who was either a shepherd or an astronomer, and the lover of Selene, the goddess of the moon.

Astrid was an Astomi, a race of people from Greek mythology who didn't eat or drink and survived by smelling apples and flowers. Unpleasant smells were fatal to them.

Notes and Quotes

--At first I thought that Dyson was going to be the one who had to kiss sleeping beauty. Alas, that was not to be.

--We got our first proper look at the Una Mens in this episode and they are some seriously creepy fuckers. I'll let the freaky arts and craft speak for itself:


--In preparation for her BFF's return, Kenzi filled Bo's room with all of her favourite things, including chocolate (both lube and actual) and some runway, angel grade Victoria Secret models. All that was missing was one human doctor with great hair and a werewolf with receding hair.

--Did anyone else find it annoying that Kenzi was left babysitting the baby Valkyrie while the boys went looking for Bo? Don't give me any of that "It's for her own protection" bullshit, Dyson. You can't use that to hide your shockingly old fashioned attitudes towards gender roles.

--Trick said Aife was injured, not killed. So has he got her stashed away somewhere?

--That dress is doing nothing to cover up Anna Silk's recent pregnancy.

Lauren: "I think that guy just slapped my butt with his eyes."

Crystal: "No good apology ever included the words 'if' and 'but'."

Kenzi: "Is this some kind of spurt?"
Hale: "What do I look like, Dr Spock's Guide to Growing Valkyries?"
Kenzi: "Well I don't know, if she keeps this up she's going to be Betty White by Tuesday."

Lauren: "Password, shit. Maybe it's shit?"

Two and a half out of four arts and crafts.
---
Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011. More Mark Greig.

5 comments:

Billie Doux said...

Well, it was fun. And it had Mia Kirshner, whose usual mischievous persona reminds me of Kenzi. And what's with Dyson making Kenzi babysit?

I can't believe I felt sorry for Vex.

And you're right. How did they manage to find a wig that made Lauren look unattractive? That doesn't seem possible.

Deborah Gallegos said...

What happened to the Lost girl reviews?? :(

Deb

Mark Greig said...

Hey Deb, sorry to say but real world has got in way and this week's review will run a little late.

Deborah Gallegos said...

No problem, Mark, I just appreciate the ones you've done so far.

I guess you're reviewing the American Syfy airings and not the Canadian Showcase airing? It's up to episode 11 of season 4 now and that's why I posted my concern that you'd only gone to episode 2.

If you're doing SyFy, please disregard my comment of concern. :)

Deb

Mark Greig said...

Yeah, I'm going by the SyFy airings. It's what we did for season 3 so I'm sticking with it.