by Billie Doux
Not an unbearable series finale, I suppose. But even though I enjoyed this last season and all of the tying up of loose ends, this final episode was just a bit too feel-good for me.
After an entire season of Bill on the edge of death and acting like a suicidal toddler, I was very prepared for him to survive the finale. A lot of fans have been theorizing that Sookie would hit him with her Ultimate Fairy Ball and that it would make him human instead of killing him. Bill de-vamped and Sookie de-fairyed could then live happily ever after as humans and have those all-important babies she needs to have. I honestly thought that was where it was going, especially after she started reading his mind at the wedding.
Instead, Sookie killed her love for Bill by killing Bill. He said he should have died in the natural course of time as a human instead of outliving his own children, and now he's with his family forever. I did not like Sookie kneeling over Bill in his coffin and staking him; it just felt wrong. It should have gotten to me, and it didn't. I was going, oh come on. Tell me he's actually getting into his own coffin. Really?
Honestly, though, I get what they were going for. Sookie is and has always been a creature of light, and ending the series by making her a vampire would never have worked. Having her accept the fairy part of herself was good, too. Maybe the True Blood powers that be wrote themselves into a corner, because there was no way at this point that they could come up with a believable happily-ever-after for Sookie. (More about that further down in my review.)
Other than Bill and his coffin of goo, the rest of the finale was just too heartwarming for a series as violent, sexy and off the wall as True Blood. I adore Jessica, but her wedding was way too sweet. I was glad that Jason and Hoyt became friends again, and Hoyt deciding that amnesia was a-okay with him worked out for everyone, but how believable was that? The whole thing with Andy inheriting Bill's house and essentially giving it to Jessica, too -- it tied everything up in a perfect bow.
The four-years-in-the-future Thanksgiving night picnic at the end with practically the entire cast and a whole lot of children was nice to see, but also way too sweet. Arlene was with Keith, Lafayette with James, Sam brought his daughter, Jason and Brigette had three kids (all girls, of course), etc. etc. Most importantly, we saw future Sookie pregnant, but not the face of her (I'm assuming) human husband.
Except that the entire point of the series was that Sookie couldn't handle dating a human because she reads minds, which is why she fell for a vampire in the first place. Why didn't they just leave Alcide alive and bring him back as her husband in the end? Sookie marrying a supernatural being that we knew and cared about who could also give her a family would have made more sense. Oh, well.
The trademark True Blood outrageousness had to be carried by Eric and Pam in this finale, and I'm pretty much okay with that. I had wondered why Eric didn't just decimate Gus and his minions, but as soon as Pam was safe and Sookie was in danger, he did. He saved Sookie's life again, and didn't even tell her. I loved him driving away in that car with the stereo blasting and blood all over him. Very Spike.
Eric and Pam not only survived the finale, they became New Blood zillionaires. I was happy that they still owned and ran Fangtasia, and that Sarah Newlin stayed chained in the basement, going crazy and being haunted by her husband Steve. Does that mean any remnants of vampire authority are gone forever? Not important, I suppose.
Plus there was a final shout-out to gay rights, with the Jessica/Hoyt marriage not being legal, Bill unable to leave his house directly to Jessica, and the Reverend Daniels telling Sookie that God wants us to exercise free will and make our own decisions. And we got a lovely little flashback to Gran. I had a feeling they were saving her for the final episode.
So, as I said, not an unbearable series finale. I'm not sure what I wanted, anyway. Oh, yes, I remember now. I would have liked if the writers had spent a season or two exploring the interesting book depths of the Sookie/Eric relationship. At least they didn't kill Eric off. That would have been unforgivable.
Bits and pieces:
-- Sarah had changed so much that she wanted Pam to do Bad Lesbian Vampire Things to her. Fortunately, Pam had better taste than that.
-- The scientists that created New Blood came from Sweden, not Japan.
-- Sookie was again driving Alcide's company truck.
-- I was hoping that they'd get Sookie out of that hideous shirt before the end of the series, and they did. And then I realized it was black with flowers on it, and I got it. A little obvious symbolism there.
Sookie: (to Bill) "You're choosing to die cause I have no self respect? That makes a lot of sense."
Eric: "Humans are slow."
Sarah: "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"
Pam: "Yes dear. You are."
Sarah: "Which is why I think I would make a kick-ass vampire, don't you?"
Sure, and Pam is so hot for you that she would throw away the vampire Hep V cure. Okay.
Pam: "I wouldn't let you go down on me for a billion dollars. And as for me going down on you, there's not enough money in the world."
Jason: "It's been a long fucking week and it's been a weird fucking week, but I figured something out along the way. We gotta live every day like it's our last, man. If we do that, it puts everything in prescription for us."
Not the best Jasonism, but the last.
Andy: "You may kiss your vampire bride."
I'm a bit sad about saying goodbye to True Blood, but it's time. What rating would you give this series finale, on a scale of one to four out of four bottles of New Blood?
Billie Doux is the founder of Doux Reviews and has been reviewing her favorite shows for quite some time. More Billie Doux.