Come on. A wedding going off without a hitch? This is The Vampire Diaries.
Alaric talked too much about dodging fate and that he and Jo should be dead, and see what happens when you tempt the gods like that? Kai may have just killed Jo at the freaking altar. In that gorgeous wedding gown, and pregnant with twins. It's like, could we make this any more tragic? No, we can't.
Is Jo dead? Will one of the vampires be able to save her? What about the twins? As much as I like Jo, and I like her a lot, my first thought was, does this mean we're getting Matt Davis as tragic "my bride died at the altar" guy next season? If they haven't been pronounced married yet, that means he's not a widower, right?
This entire wedding arc was of course really all about Damon and Elena and their possible life as a married human couple, which is so not going to happen and not just because Nina Dobrev is leaving the series and she's almost certainly going to die or leave town in the next episode.
I really liked that Elena made Stefan take Damon on a vampire brother bonding 'This is what it'll be like to be human' road trip. Even though Damon's "I want to be your husband and father of your kids" speech was lovely (they're just giving Damon and Elena a serious wedding-like moment and a literal roll in the hay to placate the Delena fans), it just wasn't in character, and Stefan had a valid point that four years ago, Stefan and Elena were the ones who were in love forever and now they're not. That lovely forty-years-married couple will not be Damon and Elena because yes, I can easily see them as an alcoholic and a workaholic drifting apart. Hey, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev did. Talk about art imitating life. Becoming human again is something you have to want for yourself, not for someone else. Sort of like an alcoholic truly wanting to become sober.
Or maybe they were setting up the possibility that if Elena dies, Damon will take the Cure as a grand gesture to mourn her. Stefan's description of Damon as a human (sweet, earnest and aimless) was meant to imply that Damon's human side, or what's left of it, is making the decisions, and I'm getting the feeling they just might leave us with a human Damon cliffhanger. I hope not. Ian Somerhalder as a snarky vampire is why I got into this show. Don't go changing, Damon.
So very tired of Lily and the witchpires. Can't they wreak havoc and die and take Kai with them? I was starting to like Kai before, but clearly, Bonnie imprisoning him again was a mistake. He had taken a serious step toward being human, but now he's a psycho again. Resolve this and put it away, Vampire Diaries writers. No witchpires next season, please?
I was so happy that Caroline was back and taking over the wedding planning. Stefan, will you give her some space? Her mother just died, and she needs to work through this killing-palooza she just went through. Or maybe it's Stefan and Caroline's turn for the on again off again, since I am picturing Caroline taking over as our female lead. I like Caroline a lot and am fine with that.
Next week's season finale should be a humdinger. And by the way, Josie Kafka will be back to review that.
Bits and pieces:
-- Does Bonnie nearly die in every episode now? It's losing its impact.
-- That thing about Elena figuratively walking on eggshells and she could die at any moment. Way too obvious foreshadowing.
-- Vampires don't do paperwork? We all hate paperwork. That might be the most appealing vampire quality yet.
-- Enzo brought Lily the 2015 version of a mix tape. I expected there to be a lockpick in it, but we didn't get to that.
-- Liv showed up unexpectedly. Is that so Tyler could leave town with her?
-- Jo's dad arrived unexpectedly to walk her down the aisle. Was that just supposed to be sweet, or is there a Kai-related plot reason for him to be there?
--- One thing that struck me during this episode is how many of the cast used to be vampires, but they're not any more. Or they're just marginally supernatural, like witches.
-- How nice that Elena got to wear a beautiful bridesmaid dress, possibly to die in. And what's with the straight hair? It made me think of Interview with the Vampire, where Claudia was turned and immediately had a headful of glorious curls.
-- What's with the long episode titles? Do you know how many times I have to type titles on social media?
-- Alaric: "What rhymes with battlefield clamp?" Jo: "Divorce?"
-- Matt: "Caroline suggested, in a semi-threatening way, that I pick up the centerpieces." Laugh out loud.
No rating. I'm not sure how I felt about this one because I am feeling manipulated, big time,
Billie Doux is the founder of Doux Reviews and has been reviewing her favorite shows for quite some time. More Billie Doux.
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