by Billie Doux
Space pirates and Star Trek. Did they write this one just for me?
Apparently, Lieutenant Rip Hunter wasn't just any old time master. He was a famous time master and scourge of space pirates, until he fell in love with a fellow time master, Lieutenant Miranda Coburn. Why were they both "lieutenants" instead of "left-tenants"? Were the time masters an American organization?
Since I'm asking questions, why are time masters celibate, like priests? Why did Miranda take the heat and resign so that Rip could continue on as a time master without her? Oooh, I can guess that one. Could she possibly have been pregnant with their son? You'd think future time masters might have a better handle on birth control. Although maybe not if they were abstinence only.
The obvious attempt at character development did work, to some extent. I liked seeing Rip with mussed hair wearing a tee shirt, and Rip and Miranda smooching in the corridors. Rip has fighting moves, too, although they weren't terribly successful ones.
But of course, Leonard Snart and Mick Rory stole the episode again.
Snart knew that he should have left Mick back in 2046 Star City, but too late. Their prophetically hot and cold partnership was doomed to fall apart when they began to care about completely different things. It was sad to learn that their partnership went all the way back to Mick rescuing Snart from bullies during a teenage stint in juvie, and somehow even sadder that Rip recruited Mick only because he wanted Snart. That "IQ of meat" jab was an especially low blow.
I kept hoping that Mick was faking an alliance with the space pirates in order to implement some sort of smart rescue ruse, but I had to admit the truth when Mick was battling Sara. Was Mick ever retrievable? Could he have turned into a hero someday? While I'm not surprised that characters are being written out in this first season, Mick was probably the second to last character I'd eliminate, simply because of his superior comic relief skills. But actually, since Snart is the very last character I'd eliminate and this was an irreconcilable conflict... darn.
Of course, Josie's law of my ten rules of television applies: If you don't see the body, don't believe anyone is dead. Where did Snart kill Mick, if indeed he did kill Mick? Was it 2046? Does that 2046 even exist anymore? (I find the time travel rules on this show confusing.) Maybe Snart did kill Mick. Snart was in tears, wasn't he?
As far as the rest of the episode goes, I enjoyed the deep space adventure and Star Trek references, not to mention one of my favorite Cylons, Callum Keith Rennie, as space pirate Captain John Valor. I also enjoyed Ray's heroics, risking his life while spacewalking in his atom suit to save Sara and Snart, dying and being revived. But I'm still not on board with the Ray and Kendra thing, even though I don't completely hate them as a couple.
But if there's a couple I'm already finding a lot more interesting, it's Leonard Snart and Sara Lance. Playing cards, talking about his growing problem with Mick, nearly freezing to death together, it feels like there's a connection, even if it's only a possible friendship. I'm just saying.
One last thing. How much did I love Martin Stein coming to the rescue in a black beret? Rick Starr, space ranger. Of course he built a rocket out of cardboard boxes when he was a kid. Didn't we all?
Everybody remember where we parked:
-- "Rip Hunter" and "Miranda Coburn" are not their real names. Apparently, the priestly time masters take aliases in order to protect their families, which makes sense to anyone who has seen the Terminator movies. I wonder if Rip is related to one of our "legends" and just hasn't said so yet?
-- Captain Eve Baxter was okay. And now she's an ally. I wonder if we'll see her again. Will that portable bit of her computer Gilbert be enough to keep Gideon updated permanently?
-- Do all time master computers get a name starting with the letter G?
-- Ray is allergic to cats and dogs and as a child, he had a Burmese python named Slinky.
-- The next stop: Harmony Falls, Oregon. 1958. I don't recall if they mentioned the date of this current episode. Anyone?
Snart: "Don't mind him. He's still sore about having to leave 2046."
Mick: "I'm sore because I was recruited for my unique ability to light things on fire. And now I'm locked in the one place where I can't light things on fire."
Jax: "To quote every Star Wars movie ever made, I got a bad feeling about this."
Mick: "Do I look like a time master to you?"
Captain Valor: "You look like the kind of man who'd throw his grandmother out of an airlock."
Rip: "For once, we're fighting on the same side."
Captain Valor: "That little slogan should come with its own shovel."
Rip: "You don't know my crew. They're iron-willed and battle-hardened, the most formidable warriors to navigate time and space."
(shift to Ray)
Ray: "Captain's log, stardate 837.9. We're awaiting word from the away team aboard the Acheron."
Kendra: "I hate to break it to you, but you're no Captain Kirk. You're Picard."
Ray: "But Picard was cautious. Pontificating. Sort of sexless."
Kendra: "Tell that to Vash. For the record, Picard was way hotter than Kirk."
For the record, I agree with Kendra.
Stein: "Great Scott, we're under attack!"
And I immediately think of Rocky Horror. What's wrong with me?
Snart: "Make sure Picard here doesn't get us all killed."
Raymond: "Actually, I'm more like Sulu right now. Or Han Solo."
Stein: "That'll teach you to mess with a nuclear physicist."
Gideon: "His chances of survival are less than 3,720 to one."
If you're not a Star Trek fan, this is something Spock and Data did a lot. (Oops! I forgot C-3PO!)
Kendra: "What's your favorite color?"
Dying Ray: "Don't have one."
Kendra: "Who doesn't have a favorite color?"
Dying Ray: "It's kind of like having a favorite Beatle."
Kendra: "Everyone has a favorite Beatle."
Dying Ray: "Not me. Wouldn't be fair to the other three."
Okay, mine are green and John Lennon. What are yours?
My favorite episode so far, even though I'm very sad about losing Mick. Three out of four favorite colors and Beatles,
Billie Doux loves good television, especially science fiction, and spends way too much time writing about it.