by Billie Doux
An enjoyable episode, chock full of delectable banter, and it featured the Winchesters wearing adorable mystical glasses. But honestly, not a hellhound of a lot happened.
But seriously, folks, hellhounds used to be pretty frightening, and Ramsey was supposed to be the oldest and scariest hellhound of them all. And what was she doing hiding in the woods in Nebraska? Is Hell near Nebraska? Does Nebraska even have woods? Why did she attack Gwen and Marcus in the first place, when neither of them had sold their souls? Was it completely random? I even thought for a moment that the hellhound targeted Gwen because Gwen was planning to become a veterinarian. Hounds, vets, you get it? I'm groping here.
It was pretty much worth it to see Dean and Sam in those hellhound-detecting holy fire glasses again, though. (That goes back to season eight's "Trial and Error.") And I absolutely loved the two of them giving Gwen "the talk." And that Gwen saved Sam from the hellhound, and hugged Crowley. And that Sam nearly destroyed Dean's car.
Not to mention the exceptional Dean/Crowley banter in the woods about them rubbing off on each other. I've been going back and forth about whether or not Crowley really cares about the boys, and this was a bit more evidence that maybe he does.
I was also impressed that Crowley outwitted Lucifer this time, because I wasn't expecting it. Apparently, Lucifer is trapped in his vessel because every molecule is warded with runes. Mark Pellegrino with that bridle on his face was pretty funny, and the exploding minions were also a hoot. I particularly loved that Tommy the minion betrayed Crowley simply because he wanted to make Hell great again, because comparing Hell to the current administration will never get old.
I was a little surprised that in the end, Dean accepted that Sam's "computer algorithm" was the British Men of Letters so easily, though. It was too easy. And yes, Dean said explicitly that it was only temporary, and I'm sure that it will be. Dean isn't the type to follow instructions for long, we all know that. And it's so clear that the British Men of Letters must be evil at its core. It's just a matter of time before they go too far. If they haven't already.
The remainder of the episode was Castiel following Kelly's trail and getting sidetracked by an angel named Kelvin, who tempted Castiel into returning to Heaven, where Joshua the gardener has a plan to counter Lucifer's hellspawn. I even remember Joshua, since we met him in one of my favorite episodes, "Dark Side of the Moon." It would be fun to see Heaven again, but it's hard not to worry about what they might have in store for Castiel. Visits to Heaven never turn out well on this show.
-- The opener with the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire was a droll tribute to Jeffrey Dean Morgan's current role on The Walking Dead. "Dad loved this thing."
-- The reference to sirens might have been a little dig at The Vampire Diaries, too, since the series finale is tonight.
-- We learned that Dagon, who is currently in possession of Kelly Kline and Lucifer's baby, is known for her psychotic savagery. That can't be good.
-- Herb Nelson with the palm pilots and new tech as tracking devices, how timely. It was like he read this week's WikiLeaks.
-- This week: Sheridan County, Nebraska; Coeur d'Alene, Idaho; and wherever that heavenly playground is (I forget).
-- The boys were agents Baker and Clapton (Cream), and Castiel was Agent Solange (Knowles, to go with his earlier alias, Agent Beyonce).
Sam: "Dean, you're covered in ghoul, man, and wraith. And I think you have a piece of siren in your hair."
Dean: (picking siren out of his hair and flicking it away) "Ugh. Gross."
Sam: "Dude, why don't you take a shower and change your clothes? You've been wearing the same pair of boxers for four days."
Dean: "Okay, one, weird that you know how much underwear I packed."
Sam: "That's what's weird about this?"
Dean: "And B, it's two and two. Doesn't count if you flip em inside out."
And that was more than I ever wanted to know about Dean's underwear practices.
Dean: "Computers. Monsters, porn, is there anything they can't do?"
Dean: "I'm using that fancy shampoo you keep hidden from me."
Dean: "Who you gonna call? Douchebusters."
Castiel: "Yes, your waitress. In this article you said she was killed by an alien."
Herb: "Well, not just aliens. Reptilians. You know, like the Queen of England."
Crowley: "You cross me, I crush you. You hit me, I hit you back twice as hard. You make me your dog, I make you my slave."
Dean: "So, about ten years ago did you really want something? Like, I don't know, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?"
Crowley: "Right after God said 'Let there be light,' He made a whole bunch of things: posies, koalas, hellhounds."
Dean: "Great. So we have a hellhound who's gunning for revenge and it's personal. Well, just when I thought this gig couldn't get any weirder."
Crowley: "Oh, it can always get weirder."
Tommy: "A lot of us don't like Crowley. He's very prancey."
Kelvin: "You ever miss it, upstairs? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Earth. It's quirky, smells like hay. But it's not home, is it?"
Tommy: "Take me, oh Fallen One! My life is yours to devour."
Lucifer: "See, now you just made it weird."
Dean: "We work with people we don't trust all the time. I mean, hell, I just Liam Neeson'd it up with Crowley."
Four out of four posies and koalas for the banter, but maybe two out of four for the plot? Three out of four posies and koalas,
Billie Doux loves good television, especially science fiction, and spends way too much time writing about it.