Smallville: Crimson

Clark: "You're saying that I want to kiss Lois and keep Chloe in my back pocket, while the whole time I'm still in love with Lana?"

This episode went places I wasn't expecting them to go. Unfortunately, they weren't Lois places. They were Lana places. Yes, we had Clark and Lana angst in the freaking barn again. Please make it stop.

Don't get me wrong. I loved a lot of this episode. It was just great fun seeing Lois and Clark rolling around on a desk together, and how fitting that it was on a desk at the Daily Planet, even though neither of them actually work there yet. I loved Clark leaping a tall building in a single bound with Lois in his arms – great call back to Superman and Lois flying together in the Reeve movies. But I could sense that re-set button approaching, and it bummed me out. At least tell me that Clark will look at Lois differently now.

To continue with the Valentine's Day theme, Jimmy, who was again pretty cool with the detecting and sidekicking, broke up with Chloe because Chloe loves Clark. Chloe was pretty upset about it, too. But what could she say? No, I don't love Clark? At least they threw us a Clark/Chloe bone when Clark on red K told Chloe he thinks about having something with her. I think it's about three years too late, though.

Lana is feeling isolated, probably because she is. The nursery that Lex had decorated had a Rosemary's Baby feel. Maybe it was the black crib. I thought she was probably going to miscarry with all of the carrying on, but no. What's up with Lana's "atypical" pregnancy? What's "on schedule"? Is Lex experimenting on his own fiancee?

And Lana, who was still jonesing to know Clark's secret, finally has a major clue now in the form of a bent farm type shiv of some kind. (What was that? A screwdriver? Cattle prod?)

Bits and pieces:

— There were tons of Superman references in this episode. Chloe even gave Jimmy his first bow tie.

— Lois and Clark. Nitroglycerin and peroxide. Hot fudge and halibut. Whitesnake power ballads.

— Erica Durance looked fabulous in those hot outfits. She is just gorgeous when they're not making her look nineteen.

— Chloe gave Martian Manhunter his name.

— A Luthor engagement party, and no Lionel. Where's Lionel? Why wasn't he glued to Martha's side? I thought Clark's anger with Martha about her relationship with Lionel was to be expected, but pretty interesting nonetheless.

— The magic shop had that Buffy vibe again.

— Clark threw Lex into a tower of champagne glasses (how symbolic) and across the barn. Lois tossed Chloe, too. Four points.

Quotes:

Lois: "What is my deal with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors? Thank god I finally found a normal guy."
Clark: "What do you mean, normal? Oliver's not even in the same league as me."
These Justice League groaners have got to stop.

Woman: "Tall, loud, down on love?"
Jimmy: "That would be Lois."

Lois: "Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound."

Lois: "Lana is your past. I'm your future."
Clark: "This is the present."
Rats.

A solid three. But it should have been a four,

Billie
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Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.

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